Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 4: How to make contact
• Method 2 of 4: Winning His Love
• Method 3 of 4: How to Improve Communication
• Method 4 of 4: Dealing with the Past

It is quite possible to re-ignite the feeling of love in the heart of a person who has cooled to you. Of course, you cannot force a person to feel, but it is possible to take certain steps to improve yourself and your relationship. Focus on who you are and try to be the best version of yourself. Spend time with your soul mate, be caring and kind. Be honest and willing to listen. And with all this, be patient. Don't expect things to magically mend as soon as you want to improve your relationship. The other person may need some time to do this.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: How to make contact

1. 1 Ask yourself why you need this person's love. It is important that you be aware of this. Do you want someone to love you because you feel lonely, miss them, want to get back on track, or just want someone to be around? Do you regret your actions and want to deal with your guilt? Do you feel disconnected and want more intimacy with this person?
   • Imagine your ideal circumstances. If you know what you want from a person, you may have a good reason to seek their love.
   • But it may turn out that you have no reasonable reason.You may miss the wonderful feeling when someone loves you, but you really don't want to be with that person again. In such a case, it is better to leave him alone.
   • You must clearly know why you want the love of this person - this can motivate you to re-achieve his warm feelings.
   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

   
   
   Family therapist Moshe Ratson is the executive director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a psychotherapy and counseling clinic in New York City. He is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) certified by the International Federation of Coaching. Received a Master's Degree in Psychotherapy in Family and Marriage from Iona College. He is a clinical member of the American Association for Family Therapy (AAMFT) and a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF).

   Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
   Family psychotherapist

   Don't make decisions because you're lonely. Family Therapist Moshe Ratson says: “After a breakup, it's normal to feel like you're cut off from the rest of the world. However, never get back together with your ex or start a new relationship just because you feel lonely. Any relationship, new or old, must be based on healthy things like respect, love, safety, communication, values ​​and maturity. "

   
   
2. 2 Talk in person. If you haven't spoken for a while, you will need to contact the person. Although, of course, you can establish communication through messages, it is better to talk in person. Then there will be no difficulties in the interpretation of words, and you can be in each other's company. If the person is hesitant about dating, wait a while and try again. If the person agrees to meet you, this is a promising first step for you.
   • See how it feels to be around you and what emotions it evokes in both of you. Does it seem likely to you that you can regain this person's love?
3. 3 See if your ex-lover wants it. If you want the person to love you again, make sure they at least don't mind being romantically involved with you again. If the person is cold to you or angry with you, don't be too hopeful. You may need to give your ex-partner some time. But if the person directly told you that he will never love you again, do not try to convince him or her. Respect his decision and let him know that you are open to romance with him.
   • If the person made it clear that he does not want any love with you, say: “I respect your decision, even if I want something else. Just know that I want to be with you and am ready to start dating again if you change your mind. "

Method 2 of 4: Winning His Love

1. 1 Be the best version of yourself. Do your best to make a good impression and show your best. Remind the person of everything they loved about you. Think about your best features and highlight them! Perhaps in the past, a former lover has told you about what he likes about you. Could it be your smile, your wit, or your ability to empathize? Do your best to bring these traits to the surface when you meet. This will show your ex how irresistible you are.
   • For example, if you are a funny, witty person and your ex-girlfriend liked your sense of humor, start your conversation with a joke or funny story.
   • If you don't know what your best traits are, write down the traits you think you possess. For example, you can write: kind, considerate, sincere, generous, funny, caring, generous, intelligent and open.
2. 2 Maintain eye contact. Eye contact is essential for creating a bond with anyone. The most important thing is to learn how to make the right eye contact. Actually, there is no "right way" to do this. It is better to tune in to the eye contact of the interlocutor.Does he often meet your gaze, avert his eyes, or maintain direct, prolonged contact? Copy the style of the other person to make them feel connected to you.
   • For example, if the person likes to maintain constant eye contact, they may think that your glimpses in their eyes indicate dismissiveness. If the person is uncomfortable with constant eye contact, they may find your unbreakable gaze aggressive and intimidating.
3. 3 Spend time together. It's hard to win someone's love if you only communicate by phone or email. Spend time together, refraining from talking about what went wrong or what is wrong now. Do what you both enjoy. Think back to your partner's favorite restaurants and movies and find activities that will allow you to have fun together.
   • You don't have to go to a tropical island to mend your relationship. Just do what makes you feel close and enjoyable time together. You can, for example, take a walk or go hiking.
   • Show your mindfulness: organize a time together and do what in the past has brought you both joy and unforgettable moments. You can, for example, go back to a special restaurant for you or watch a movie that you once watched together.
4. 4 Laugh and be playful. Make it your goal to have fun with each other. Spend time doing interesting activities. Connect with the person and invite them to a fun event. Suggest, for example, going to a skating rink or watching an impromptu show. Do something that brings out a fun and positive side in each of you. Talk about what makes your crush smile and laugh.
   • Be intentionally silly and playful.
   • Remind the person how much fun you had together.

Method 3 of 4: How to Improve Communication

1. 1 Speak openly and honestly. Honesty is the foundation of trust and love. She shows the person that you take him seriously, and this trait is sure to please your partner and arouse his respect. But honesty isn't just a habit of telling the truth. Speak so that the person understands your words and endures some benefit from them. Sometimes being tough with honesty can do more harm than good, so try to be delicate at all times. If a person asks you an uncomfortable question, answer it frankly, even if you know they won't like the answer. But it's also worth talking about what has changed.
   • If you make mistakes, admit them. Share how you have changed since then and explain that you will avoid making similar mistakes in the future.
   • Themselves, too, do not be afraid to ask difficult questions.
2. 2 Express unconditional love. Even if the person has hurt you or offended you, keep your love for him unconditional. Show your loved one that, despite the difficult times and difficulties in the relationship, you will be a constant source of love and support for him. If the person is hesitant to express their love, do not be afraid to give yours. Even if your significant other is upsetting or letting you down, be unshakable in your unconditional love for her.
   • However, if the person asks you to leave him alone or to give him more personal space, respect his request. Don't haunt him or smother him with your attention. You do not want to push the person away and make him feel annoyed and annoyed because of excessive attention and affection.
3. 3 Love yourself. Remember to love yourself before you love another. Think about the aspects of your personality that you suppress or are embarrassed to show the world. Feel free to show your true identity to yourself, friends, family, and the person whose love you are looking for. Let them see you in all the glory of your personality.
   • If you are afraid of being vulnerable or feel unattractive, work with a therapist.It can help you discover your problems, work on old wounds, and boost your self-esteem.

Method 4 of 4: Dealing with the Past

1. 1 Admit your mistakes. A person may be struck by your admission that some of your actions have offended him or hurt him. This can be especially helpful if you seemed stubborn to your ex - it will help her see a new side of your personality, which can open the door of love. Show that you are now a more worthy person.
   • Say, “I know I have made mistakes and I am sorry for them. Then I was different, but now I have learned to be better. "
2. 2 Rebuild broken trust. Forgiveness plays a big role here. Forgive yourself and forgive your loved one. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made and the harm you have done to your relationship. Forgive your lover for his mistakes, judgments, or problems. Then start trusting yourself. If you've changed, you know you can't do it again. And start trusting your partner. If he cheated, believe that he will never do it again.
   • If you've offended a person, don't expect to be able to immediately regain their trust. Show him with your honesty that you can be trusted.
3. 3 Make a firm decision to make a difference. It's time to show humility. If the relationship soured because of a mistake you made or a bad habit that your partner couldn't bear but couldn't get rid of, take responsibility and take the other's opinion into account. Think about the complaints you have made and work on the problems of your own free will, without being reminded by your partner. Say that now you will listen to his comments and are ready to work on yourself. Tell your significant other that she's the one who inspires you to get better.
   • For example, if a person has estranged or abandoned you because of your alcohol addiction, let that be your motivation to stay sober.
4. 4 Stick to your decisions. Good intentions alone are not enough; you have to keep them. Stay focused on your goal and implement your changes to become a better person and a better partner. If you've been a bad partner in a relationship, do your best to show more support, listen, and compromise. Be proactive in finding solutions, anticipate difficulties, and work on existing problems.
   • Don't just say that you will seek help with an addiction. Find a therapist, visit a health center, or sign up for rehab as soon as possible.
   • Solve specific problems. If you tend to lose your temper, for example, take an anger management course and work on your new skills to learn how to communicate with people differently.
   • Once you start taking action, talk to your loved one. Say, “I started to change to improve our relationship. I want this, so I am ready to do whatever is necessary. "