How to reflect

Content

Steps
Part 1 of 3: Learning to Think
Part 2 of 3: Improving Your Life with Reflection
Part 3 of 3: Reflecting on the World Around Us
Tips
Warnings

Reflection is the art of thinking about your strengths and weaknesses. This is the ability to reflect on what is happening here and now, as well as about your feelings and thoughts. In addition, reflection is thinking about the feelings and thoughts of other people. Reflection can be good for making changes in your life if you evaluate and analyze decisions made in the past. This may require letting go of certain situations, letting go of certain thinking patterns, or stopping holding onto certain people. By learning to reflect on your life, past experiences, and the lives of others, you can grow personally and make informed decisions in the future.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Learning to Think

1 Take time to think. If you find it difficult to balance work and personal life, it may be difficult for you to find time to think. However, you can analyze anytime anywhere. Some psychologists recommend taking time for reflection while doing your daily activities if you can't take the time to do it separately. It is important to find small “islands” of time that otherwise you would simply be wasting, and devote it to analysis and reflection, no matter how short these intervals may be.
- Reflect in bed immediately after waking up or just before bed. This time can be invaluable for preparing for the next day (in the morning) or rethinking the events of the day (in the evening).
- Reflect in your soul. This is the perfect time to devote to reflection, as it may be the only time of solitude of the day. Showering tends to make many people feel comfortable and relaxed, so it will be easier for you to reflect on the unpleasant and upsetting events of the day.
- Get the most out of your commute. If you are driving to work and find yourself in traffic, turn off the radio for a few minutes and think about what makes you feel anxious or dissatisfied. If you are using public transport, put away your book or turn off the music in your player for a few minutes and reflect on the day ahead or past.
2 Keep calm. This, of course, is easier said than done, but one of the most serious conditions for a good reflection process will be immobility, calmness and, if possible, solitude. Relax, sit and breathe with concentration, and try to ignore any distractions around you. It can be easy - for example, just turn off the TV, or difficult - for example, you have to abstract from the variety of sounds around. Whatever your environment, make time for yourself when you can be alone with yourself in a calm state, even if it only means being alone with your thoughts, and not being physically alone.
- Research has shown that having time to be calm can have a positive effect on your health and strength, and increase your productivity.
3 Reflect on yourself and your experiences. While you are in a state of rest and immobility, your thoughts may begin to flicker feverishly, you may begin to contemplate what you could have done differently or not done at all. These thoughts are not necessarily bad, as they can become an important part of reflection at the beginning or end of the day. However, if you are trying to analyze your life, you may need to get your thoughts on track with a series of questions. Try asking yourself:
- who you are and what kind of person you are;
- what can you say about yourself from the experience you get on a daily basis;
- Are you helping yourself grow and develop by questioning your thoughts, beliefs, and outlook on life.
SPECIALIST'S ADVICE
Tracey Rogers, MA

Certified Personal Trainer Tracey L. Rogers is a Certified Personal Trainer and Professional Astrologer based in Washington, DC. Has over 10 years of experience in personal counseling and astrology. Her work has been talked about on national radio, as well as on online platforms such as Oprah.com. She is certified by the Life Purpose Institute and holds an MA in International Education from George Washington University.
Tracey Rogers, MA
Certified Personal Trainer
Ask yourself what you can change and what you will have to give up. You need to determine which aspects of your life are currently in control and can be changed. As you think about life in order to change it, you will also need to understand what you will give up in the process.

Part 2 of 3: Improving Your Life with Reflection

1 Reflect on your core values. Your core values are the beliefs and values that shape all other aspects of your life. By reflecting on your core values, you can better understand who you are and what you have been striving for all your life. The easiest way to ponder and assess your core values is to consider the question of what is your most important characteristic as a person. It will help you overcome questions of self-esteem and self-doubt, and get to the bottom of your motivation.
- If you are not sure which values are yours basic, think about how intimately someone (a child, parent, or partner) who knows you would describe you to someone in a few words. Would he say that you are generous? Selfless? Are they honest? In this case, generosity, dedication, or honesty can be considered your core values.
- Assess if you stay true to your core values during difficult times. Holding to your core values means always being honest with yourself and guided by what is most important to you.
2 Analyze your goals. Some people may not have the time to think about their goals, but research has shown that reflection is an important component of any goal-oriented endeavor. A person can easily get bogged down in a daily routine and not pay attention to assessing the work that he does to achieve a goal. But without assessment and reflection, many people go astray and stop moving towards their goal.
- Reflection is a very important part of achieving goals, as many people become motivated by realizing that they are not achieving their goals. Rather than succumbing to this apathy, you’re better off changing your approach to failure. Instead of feeling helpless, prove to yourself that you can achieve your goals.
- If you find it difficult to achieve your goals, try rethinking them.Research has shown that so-called SMART goals are successful: precise, measurable, achievable, result-oriented and with clearly defined timelines. And don't forget that any plan you have to achieve your goals should include reflection and judgment.
3 Change your way of thinking. Reflection can be an indispensable tool in changing thinking patterns and reactions to situations. Many people live and operate on autopilot, treating people, situations and places the same day after day. However, without constant assessment and reflection on how we respond to these external stimuli, it is easy to get used to unproductive and even destructive patterns of behavior. Reflection will help you actively assess the situation, as well as rethink it and begin to feel more positive and confident.
- It is difficult to experience a positive state in stressful or difficult situations. However, many difficult situations are good for us.
- Instead of feeling anxious or dissatisfied with a situation that is out of control - such as going to the dentist - redirect your thinking to the positive changes that will result from the procedure. In this scenario, an unpleasant procedure will become just a temporary inconvenience, as a result of which you will get a beautiful smile, relief from pain and healthy teeth.

Part 3 of 3: Reflecting on the World Around Us

1 Analyze the experience. Throughout your life, day after day, you will accumulate variety in such an amount that sometimes it will be difficult for you to understand what it all means. Taking time each day to reflect on events immediately after they happen will make it easier for you to understand the event itself and your reaction to it.
- Think about your reaction to an event or experience. How do you feel about it? Did what happened meet your expectations? Why?
- Have you learned anything as a result? Is there anything you can learn from this experience that will help you better understand yourself, other people, and the world around you?
- Does the experience affect your way of thinking or your feelings? How and why?
- What have you learned about yourself as a result of what happened and your reaction to it?
2 Assess your relationship with others. Some people find it difficult to ask themselves why they are friends with certain people, or what this friendship or this relationship means. However, it is important to reflect from time to time on relationships with others. In fact, some research has shown that reflecting on past relationships can help you cope with the loss of that relationship, as well as understand where things went wrong.
- Watch how others make you feel. These can be people who are present in your life now, or those with whom relationships have ended for one reason or another. Journal your observations so you can better understand and learn from them as you work on future relationships.
- As you reflect on your current relationship, assess whether your relationship with your partner or friend is healthy. For example, you might ask yourself if you trust your partner, are you honest with each other, understand each other, communicate in a respectful manner, and if you are both willing to compromise on controversial issues.
3 Use reflection to avoid fights. At some point in the relationship, you may quarrel with your partner, friend, or family member about something. Fights usually happen because two or more people let their emotions set the tone for the conversation. But by stepping back and thinking before speaking, you can reduce the degree of an argument or avoid it altogether. If you feel like a fight is brewing, take the time to ask yourself the following questions:
- How do you feel now and what do you need?
- If you conveyed your feelings and needs to the person, how would they react?
- What is the other person's need now, and how might that need affect the person's understanding of your needs?
- How can your actions and words be assessed by the interlocutor and bystander?
- How have you dealt with conflicts in the past to your mutual satisfaction? What did each of you say or did to mitigate the conflict, so that all parties are happy and feel that their views are taken into account?
- What is the best or most mutually beneficial way to resolve the conflict, and what should be said and done to achieve this?

Tips

Focus on the sensations and emotions you experienced at the moment you are thinking about.
The more you reflect, the better you will be at it.
If you have a lot of negative thoughts, work to become a more positive person.

Warnings

If the thought you are reflecting on is causing you severe pain or anxiety, you should talk about it with a friend or seek professional help. Find a way to calm yourself and try to move forward, away from painful thoughts and feelings.
If you release negative and / or distressing memories, it should be done under supervision (for example, in a therapist's or psychologist's office).