Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: How to Respond to an Unwanted Kiss
• Method 2 of 3: How to respond to an unexpected kiss from a loved one
• Method 3 of 3: How to Avoid Sneak Kisses
• Warnings

A sneak kiss is any kiss you are not ready for, whether it be an unwelcome kiss from an unacceptable person or a pleasant surprise from a loved one. Regardless of the circumstances, it is important to show the person who kissed you how you feel about the kiss. You can also take steps to prevent sneak kissing in the future.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: How to Respond to an Unwanted Kiss

1. 1 Push the kissing person away. Before proceeding further, interrupt the kiss by backing away or pushing the person away. There is no need to passively wait for the completion of the kiss, as the person may perceive this as a call to continue or increase the onslaught.
   • Most of the time, you can pull away without putting in significant effort, especially in a situation where the person just briefly kisses you on the lips. Place your palms lightly on the shoulders of the person who is kissing you, and then straighten your arms and nimbly step back to move away from him.
   • If the person is behaving more aggressively, then your reaction should be less restrained. In this case, forcefully push the kissing person away with your hands. Don't be afraid to use your hands to break a hug or even hit a person if you can't free yourself.
2. 2 Move away. When you break the kiss, step back a few steps from the person to create a visible distance between you. This will protect yourself from another unwanted kiss and at the same time show your attitude towards such actions.
   • A few steps will be enough if the person is not planning anything criminal. You can also raise your hand and emphasize the need for distance, or turn away from the person so that he does not try to repeat the kiss.
   • Of course, if a person is behaving aggressively, then it is best to get away as soon as possible.
3. 3 Keep calm. If the situation is not physically dangerous, then it is best to simply remain calm. Assess the person's behavior and circumstances. Perhaps this kiss was the result of a misunderstanding. In this case, a quiet refusal will be enough. If the kiss has become a serious violation of personal space, then calm behavior can help you express your attitude clearly and decisively.
   • Take a few deep breaths. Inhale and hold your breath for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly. Several repetitions of mindful breaths will help you calm down and put your thoughts in order.
   • Before giving an answer, try to assess the person's motives by taking an objective look at the situation. By objectively analyzing the cause of the event, it will be easier for you to choose the correct answer.
     • If everything happened on a date that was going well, then the partner could misinterpret the situation and think that the kiss would be mutual.
     • If a friend kisses you without warning, then it is possible that he has unrequited romantic feelings for you and crossed the line for a moment.
     • If you were secretly kissed by someone you turned down, with whom you are not familiar or do not get along, then he may have done it on purpose in order to upset or disturb you.
4. 4 Reject the kiss firmly. It is not always pleasant to tell a person that his kiss is not to your liking. However, decisive verbal refusal is the surest way to prevent the situation from recurring.
   • If you were kissed by a person who is unrequitedly in love with you, then make it clear that you do not share feelings and do not want the situation to repeat itself: “I am flattered, but I don’t love you and I don’t want you to try to kiss me again.”
   • If you are not yet ready to kiss a new partner, but are considering such an opportunity in the future, then explain: “I really like you, but at this stage I am not ready for kissing. I will definitely let you know when the right moment comes. "
5. 5 Explain your refusal. You don't have to explain anything, but depending on your relationship with the person, it is sometimes better to say why you refuse to kiss. Express your feelings and thoughts politely but decisively and as directly as possible.
   • If you suspect that the person kissed you just out of spite or for other low reasons, then it is better to dispense with explanations and just disperse.
   • On the other hand, if you rejected a friend's kiss or explain why you are not ready to kiss a person on the first date, then it is better to explain your feelings so that the person does not feel hurt and the situation does not repeat itself.
6. 6 Emotional remoteness. In some situations, a rejected kiss can hurt feelings, as in the case of unrequited love. Spend some time apart and avoid the repetition of situations that contribute to misunderstandings so that the person can recover, and at the same time does not consider your rejection accidental.
   • Temporarily stop spending time with each other, especially in private. Afterwards, avoid flirting between you and make sure both parties understand the boundaries of the relationship.
   • Don't be surprised if the person no longer wants to communicate with you. He may respect your feelings, but the pain after rejection is not conducive to the continuation of the relationship, so breaking up may be the most optimal solution.
7. 7 Get help if you are threatened or harassed. If the person who stealthily kissed you subsequently behaves aggressively or threatens you, then seek help immediately. A sneak kiss can look quite innocent, but in the absence of respect for your feelings and personal space the next time the situation can be very aggravated.
   • Unwanted forced kissing may be considered a form of sexual harassment or rape, depending on local laws. The situation is even more obvious if the behavior is repeated even after the voiced refusal. If you feel in danger, then do not be afraid to contact the police.

Method 2 of 3: How to respond to an unexpected kiss from a loved one

1. 1 Step back gently. Even if you enjoy a sneak kiss from your loved one, sometimes it still doesn't hurt to take a step back and catch your breath. In this case, any subsequent response will be sincere, and not spoken in the heat of passion.
   • Don't be afraid to “ruin the moment” by stepping back from the kiss. By maintaining physical intimacy and gently escaping the kiss, an even stronger mutual desire can be awakened.
   • On the other hand, by completely stopping physical contact, you get the opportunity to evaluate your feelings and thoughts, which is extremely useful in a situation where your attitude to the kiss is not so unambiguous. Doing the right thing is more important than risking ruining one moment of intimacy.
2. 2 Consider your feelings. Depending on the circumstances, it will take you from a few minutes to several days. Do not hurry. Soberly assess your attitude towards the kiss (whether you liked it or not) and determine how much such behavior is acceptable for your relationship.
   • If your relationship already allows closeness, it will be easier to collect your thoughts. The heart will tell you for sure whether you liked this kiss or not.
   • If the relationship is at an early stage, then you should think carefully about everything. Calmly, but directly tell your partner: “Oh, it was unexpected. Do you mind if I think about my attitude to this? Now I just can't collect my thoughts. "
3. 3 Say your answer. Whether you accept or reject the kiss, it is best to respond directly to your partner. Soberly assess whether you need to answer briefly or in detail.
   • If you quickly realized that you liked the kiss, then a short confirmation will be enough: "It was great!"
   • If you can't quickly sort out your feelings, or a secret kiss made you feel awkward, then wait until the emotions calm down and clearly explain your feelings, as well as their reason, so that there will be no misunderstandings between you in the future.
4. 4 Kiss back. If the kiss of your partner is pleasant to you, then you can kiss him back to confirm your words. Naturally, you don't have to kiss a kiss back at all.
   • You can respond with an equivalent (short kiss on the lips) or even more passionate kiss. In such a situation, you should be guided by your own feelings and the reaction of your partner.
5. 5 Set boundaries for the future. Regardless of how you feel about kissing, now is a great time to set the boundaries for your relationship. If surreptitious kissing is completely unacceptable, then be direct about it. If in some circumstances they are appropriate, then explain this to your partner.
   • For example, infrequent sneaking kisses are acceptable to you if it is a short kiss on the lips in private, while more passionate manifestations of feelings without warning or in the presence of other people are unacceptable.

Method 3 of 3: How to Avoid Sneak Kisses

1. 1 No commitment. It is important to understand that you do not have to maintain intimate contact with the person, even if it is an innocent kiss. This is your body, no one has the right to interfere with your personal space or force you to anything. It is necessary to realize this fact in order to prevent furtive kissing from now on.
2. 2 Learn not to feel guilty about rejection. It's not always easy to say no to someone who wants to kiss you. If he hesitates with the answer, then he can take it as an invitation. Learn to deny similar and other life circumstances to prevent unwanted contacts in the future.
   • Practice refusing in everyday situations that have nothing to do with romance. Don't agree to meet up with friends if you're not in the mood. Do not do favors to others and refuse projects if you don’t have the time or energy to do it. Learn to use the word "no" to apply it in difficult situations.
3. 3 Be clear about your feelings and boundaries. Always try to be clear about your desires, especially in romantic situations. If you do not have reciprocal feelings towards the person, then it is better to say it directly. If you are not ready for physical intimacy, even “just” kissing, then clearly draw the line of what is permitted.
   • Before a date or in a relationship with a new partner, explain clearly what is meant by "consent". Besides the fact that no means no, it is important to emphasize that only a direct yes means yes. Verbal confirmation is especially important at the very beginning of a relationship. Also talk with your partner about non-verbal signs of consent.
4. 4 Unacceptable situations. Try to avoid situations that might cause misunderstandings to avoid unwanted sneak kisses and less innocent harassment.
   • Don't flirt with someone you don't like, especially if they have romantic feelings for you.
   • If you feel uncomfortable in the presence of a person or barely know him, then try not to be alone.
5. 5 Turn away when attempting an unwanted kiss. If you find yourself next to someone who likes you, but does not have reciprocal feelings and do not want to respond to the kiss, then turn your attention to non-verbal (or even verbal) signs of an upcoming kiss. Ideally, the person should understand your reluctance and be respectful to him. If your partner did make an attempt to kiss you, then some signs in his behavior will help you prevent such a kiss.
   • Shake your head negatively or turn away when your partner bends over to kiss you. The signal should be clear and less painful for the partner than physically trying to push him away.
   • Explain or repeat your feelings. Explain the acceptable limits to your partner, and if he behaves politely, then tell about the reasons for such feelings.

Warnings

• If the person who stealthily kissed you begins to threaten or harass you, then seek help from the appropriate authority. If you are a student, you should ask your teacher or school psychologist for help. At work, you should contact your boss or HR department. In case of danger, contact the police immediately.