Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 4: Rethink Failure
• Part 2 of 4: Work through your fear of failure
• Part 3 of 4: Overcome Fear-Driven Panic
• Part 4 of 4: Fight Negative Thinking
• Recommendations

Fear is something we all have in common, especially at the start of a new venture. Fear of failure is one of the most common and destructive fears that people face. However, failure is often the first step towards success. The most successful people, such as J. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter books, or the millionaire entrepreneur Richard Branson, openly talk about how often they were plagued by failure, and how this factor shaped their future success. It is hardly possible to simply try to avoid the feeling of fear. However, you can try to face your fears and deal with them so that they form the basis of your future success. Read on to learn how to deal with your fear and move towards achieving your goals.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Rethink Failure

1. 1 Recognize failure as an experience to learn from. When people are working to improve any skills or projects, failure is an integral part of the learning process. Learning requires research and creativity, and both involve the opportunity to learn not only how it works, but also how it doesn't work. We cannot dive into a deeper level of knowledge without practice. Recognizing failure as an integral part of the learning process allows them to be seen as a gift, rather than punishment or a sign of weakness.
   • Do not forget that many people have been in your place. Indian inventor Myshkin Ingawale tested 32 prototypes of his technology before he got it to work. He could have given up and considered himself a failure after a certain number of attempts, but he continued to draw conclusions from his mistakes and use them in subsequent attempts. Now, thanks to his invention, the death rate of women in childbirth in rural India has dropped by 50%.
2. 2 Reimagine your approach. Often times, when the result does not meet our expectations, we tend to consider it unsuccessful. This approach is called "all or nothing" and distorts healthy thinking, which encourages us to evaluate reality in absolute terms, without slipping into the analysis of small details.At the same time, if we consider our results to be more or less effective, with a tendency to improve, we have the ability to work on positive changes.
   • Studies show that successful people fail as often as normal people. The key difference lies in the ability to interpret your failures. You cannot let them convince you that success is impossible.
   • It takes time and hard work to get the results you want. Success is a process. Under no circumstances should failures be allowed to force you to stop this process.
   • Do not run away from this process, accept it as a natural state of affairs and remember that it will bear fruit.
   • Also, do not forget that you cannot control or predict everything. Treat any unexpected variations or deviations as natural external factors beyond your control. Consider only what you yourself can control.
   • Make sure your personal goals are realistic and achievable.
3. 3 Don't rush things. A quick start in any endeavors without proper preparation can only aggravate the situation. You need to work through your fears and rethink your failures at your natural pace, without pushing yourself too far outside your comfort zone.
   • Try to identify small steps you can take towards your goal and feel comfortable doing it.
   • Think of any long term goals in terms of a small step approach that you can take now.
4. 4 Be kind to yourself. Don't make fun of your fears, there are reasons for them. Work with your fears, treat yourself with indulgence and understanding. The more you see why you are tormented by this or that fear and where its roots are, the easier it will be for you to cope with it.
   • Write down your fears in detail. Don't be afraid to research what exactly you are afraid of and why.
   • Accept that these fears are part of your personality. Admitting your fears will help you gain control over them.
5. 5 Take notes. The ability to learn from past experiences is one of the key success factors for the future. Carefully record what you did, what didn't, and why. Plan your future actions according to what you have learned from past experiences.
   • Improving your plans for the future based on what has already worked and what has not - this will help reduce the level of fear of failure.
   • Learn to appreciate failure. Failures carry as much information as success.
   • Bad experiences will allow you to understand what exactly caused the failure, and avoid repeating the mistake in the future. Undoubtedly, you will still face difficult tasks, obstacles and hindrances, but with the knowledge you have, it will be easier for you to overcome them each time.

Part 2 of 4: Work through your fear of failure

1. 1 Take a closer look at your fear of failure. Often, the fear of failure gives only a general idea of ​​what we really fear. If you examine this fear, you will find that there are completely different fears lurking underneath. And only by discovering them, you can work with them and get rid of them.
   • Fear of failure often only gives a general idea of ​​the real problem.
   • We may be afraid of failure, but failure tends to be closely tied to beliefs such as self-worth and self-esteem.
   • Often, through fear of failure, deep feelings of shame can be traced.
   • Other examples of more specific fears include anxiety about the loss of security with risky investments or the fear of being humiliated by their peers.
2. 2 Try not to personalize failure or make unreasonable generalizations. If you have failed in a particular case, it is very easy to mistake the lack of success in that particular case for failure in general.You can also take a specific example of failure and extend the findings to your entire life and yourself. When the results do not match what you hoped for, you should not think: "I am a failure" or "I am not worth anything at all." Despite the fact that people often think this way, it is, firstly, not useful, and secondly, it is not true.
   • Explore the scenario in your head about an event. We often allow our thoughts to follow predictable yet unhealthy scenarios. For example, if you are working on an invention and already the 17th attempt ended in complete failure, there is a risk of falling into a mental trap and saying to yourself: "Well, of course, I will never succeed, I am a complete failure." The facts of this situation indicate that this particular attempt failed. Facts don't tell you what kind of person you are, or how likely you are to succeed. Learn to separate facts from your inner scripts.
3. 3 Give up perfectionism. Some people believe that perfectionism is on a par with healthy ambition or quality standards. In fact, everything is exactly the opposite, and perfectionism can become cause failures. Perfectionists tend to be obsessed with the fear of failure. They often tend to regard anything that does not meet their unreasonably high standards as "failure." This can lead to procrastination, because constantly worrying about the insufficient quality of your work, you may never finish it. Set healthy, ambitious standards for yourself and acknowledge that there will be times when your results will not match them in their entirety.
   • Research has shown that perfectionist educators do far less research and publish less than adaptive and open-minded educators.
   • Perfectionism increases your risk of developing mental problems, such as depression or eating disorders.
4. 4 Maintain a positive mood. It is very easy to dwell on the failures of the past and thereby stop your path to success. Instead of constantly thinking about how bad things turned out, focus on what turned out well and what you can learn.
   • Even if the end goal was not achieved, you can still consider this experience successful if you managed to learn from it for yourself any lessons.
   • Focusing solely on the negative aspects will lead you to see the entire situation in an exclusively negative light.
   • By focusing on success and the positive aspects of the experience, you will understand exactly what is coming out and you can better prepare in the future.
5. 5 Don't stop developing. If you're worried about failure at both a new task and a job you already know, it's worth working on the skills you need to complete it successfully. As you develop your professional skills and see yourself becoming competent in various fields, your self-confidence rises. Recognize what you are good at and identify areas of your development.
   • Increase the level of already acquired skills. Keep up with new developments and best practices in your professional field.
   • Learn new skills. As you learn new skills, you will enrich your skills and better prepare for the variety of situations that may arise on the way to achieving your goals.
6. 6 Take action. The only real failure can be considered only the absence of even attempts to do something. The first step is usually the most difficult. But he is also the most important one. It is natural to be afraid and uncomfortable when starting something new. There are several steps you can take to reduce this discomfort.
   • Give yourself the inner permission to feel uncomfortable.Everyone from time to time finds themselves in situations where they feel uncomfortable or fear difficult tasks, even incredibly successful billionaire businessmen. Recognize that this fear is understandable and natural and stop fighting or suppressing it in yourself. On the contrary, learn to act, even you feel fear.
   • Remember to break down big goals into small ones. Smaller achievable milestones help you see your larger goal in a less daunting light.
   • Moving forward will provide you with new information and allow you to adjust your direction on the path to success.
7. 7 Open up to failure. Taking a proactive attitude toward accepting your failures will make sure that failure isn't as bad as you might think. This psychological technique is known as exposure therapy and is used to reduce fear levels in life. This practice will give you the experience of overcoming fear or discomfort and demonstrate your ability to experience such emotions and achieve success.
   • Pick a hobby or new activity that you are not good at. Start practicing it with a willingness to accept failure, knowing that potentially it will only lead you to greater success in the future.
   • For example, start learning to play a new musical instrument. Failure to master a musical instrument is common. These setbacks will provide you with a great opportunity to learn how to feel comfortable in the face of setbacks. In addition, you will find that failure is not permanent and is not a sign of your powerlessness. Just because the first hundred attempts to play the Moonlight Sonata were unsuccessful does not mean that you will not learn to play it.
   • You can try asking for something from strangers, such as treating you with chewing gum or giving you a discount on your purchase. Your goal is to fail, reimagine it as a source of success, and completely eliminate the limiting influence that fear has on your behavior.

Part 3 of 4: Overcome Fear-Driven Panic

1. 1 Become aware of your panic. Sometimes the fear of failure provokes reactions in our body that are close to panic or panic attacks caused by other fears. The first step to overcoming a panic attack is to become aware of its symptoms. Pay attention to the following symptoms:
   • Increased heart rate or irregular heartbeat.
   • Difficulty breathing or catching throat.
   • Tingling sensation, trembling, or increased sweating.
   • Dizziness, nausea, or light-headedness
2. 2 Start breathing deeply. During a panic attack, your breathing is reduced to quick short breaths, which only help to maintain the panic state. Begin to control your breathing, inhale deeply and slowly, trying to return to your natural rhythm.
   • Breathe slowly through your nose for five seconds. For inhalation, use not the chest, but the diaphragm, that is, during breathing, the stomach should rise, not the chest.
   • Exhale at the same slow pace, also through the nose. Make sure to exhale all the air, while concentrating on counting to five.
   • Repeat this breathing cycle until you feel that you have calmed down.
3. 3 Relax your muscles. Your body experiences tension during a panic attack, and this tension only increases the feeling of anxiety. Work to release muscle tension by intentionally contracting and unclenching the muscles in your body.
   • The accelerated whole-body relaxation technique consists in alternating tension and relaxation of all the muscles in the body at the same time.
   • You can achieve more complete relaxation with alternating exercises. Start with your feet. Tighten the muscles of your feet as much as possible, hold for a few seconds, and then relax. Move up the body, alternately contracting and relaxing different muscles: calves, hips, abdomen, back, chest, shoulders, arms, neck and face.

Part 4 of 4: Fight Negative Thinking

1. 1 Try using the STOPP technique. This is a useful acronym to help you deal with the instant fear response to a situation. As soon as you have a fear of failure, practice the following:
   • WITH - S-that what are you doing! - Whatever you do at this moment, stop and take a step back, move away from the situation. Give yourself some time to think before you react.
   • T - T-only deep breathing. Take a couple of minutes to calm down with deep breathing. This exercise will oxygenate your brain and help you think more clearly before making any decisions.
   • O - O-look, what's going on? - Watch what is happening. Ask yourself a few questions. What's going on in your head? What do you feel? What "scenario" is running through your head at this moment? Are you contemplating facts? Do you give more weight to opinions? What are you focusing on?
   • NS - P-perspective and perspective again. - Try to imagine the situation from the perspective of a disinterested observer. What will he see in this situation? Is there any other way to handle the situation? How significant is this situation in the overall life picture - will it even matter a week or six months later?
   • NS “P-keep sticking to your principles. - Stick to what you know and what you are convinced of. Do what is most in line with your values ​​and goals.
2. 2 Challenge negative self-talk. Very often we are our own worst critics. You may find that your inner critic is always unhappy with you and convinces you of something like "I'm not good enough" or "I can never do it," or "I shouldn't even try." Once you catch yourself thinking these thoughts, challenge them. This is unhealthy and, moreover, false thinking.
   • Imagine how you would comfort your friend if he were in your place. Imagine that your friend or loved one is in your situation. Perhaps your friend is afraid to quit her job to pursue her dream of becoming a musician. What would you tell her? Would you immediately imagine that she would not succeed? Or would you be looking for ways to support her? Treat yourself with the same amount of compassion and faith that you are willing to demonstrate towards your loved ones.
   • Pay attention if you tend to generalize. Perhaps you are looking at a specific situation and drawing too far-reaching conclusions? For example, if your science project fails, do you tend to broadcast that failure to every other aspect of your life? Don't you immediately give up on yourself: "I'm a failure"?
3. 3 Don't disaster the situation. When a situation is catastrophic, you fall into the trap of assuming that the worst possible thing will happen to you. You allow your fear to influence your thoughts, which begin to rush in panic and make illogical leaps. You can learn to deal with this by using slowdown techniques and questions to logically prove that your assumptions are unfounded.
   • For example, you are worried that if you change your specialization at the university to something more interesting to you, you risk not passing the exams. Then catastrophization begins: “If I do not pass the exams, I will be cured from the university. I will never find a job. I will have to live with my parents all my life and eat Chinese noodles. I will never be able to have a family and children. " Obviously, this is a radical way of winding up thoughts, but it's a good example of how fear can lead us to extremes.
   • Try to switch to perspective. For example, if you are afraid to change specialization for fear of failure, think about this: What is the worst that can happen to you, and how likely is it that it will actually happen? In this example, the worst thing that will happen to you is that you will not become an outstanding chemist (or whatever subject attracts you) and will get a couple of 3s on exams. This is not a disaster. There are so many things you can do to overcome these troubles - hire a tutor, study harder, and communicate with teachers.
   • It is much more likely that at first it will be difficult for you to delve into the subject, but you will study it, develop new skills and graduate from university with the happy thought that you were able to follow your dream.
4. 4 Realize that your worst critic is yourself. Fear of failure can stem from the belief that others are closely watching your every move. It may seem to you that as soon as you slip a little, everyone will immediately notice it and will talk about it at all angles. However, the reality is that most people are much more preoccupied with their own problems and questions, and they simply do not have time to pay attention to everything that you do there.
   • Pay attention to the evidence that refutes your assumptions. For example, you may be worried about an upcoming party because you feel like you’re going to blurt out something wrong or make a bad joke. This fear can completely ruin your communication with others. However, your own previous experiences and the experiences of others can help you overcome this fear.
   • For example, you can remember the mistakes of your friends and acquaintances. You are guaranteed to come up with a couple of examples when someone made a mistake in public. Does this mean that they are now rejected by everyone and are considered failures? Most probably not.
   • The next time you have fear of failure and judgment, remind yourself: “Everyone is wrong. I allow myself to make mistakes and blunders and look stupid. This will not make me a failure. "
   • If you come across people who are prone to harsh criticism and judgment, realize that the problem is with them, not with you.

Recommendations

• Large projects can be intimidating. Start by planning simple steps that you can definitely follow.
• If you learn from your own experience, that can also be considered a success.
• Be condescending to yourself, everyone has fears.