Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 4: How to Build a Relationship
• Method 2 of 4: How to Communicate Properly
• Method 3 of 4: How to get close to people
• Method 4 of 4: How to understand yourself

Interpersonal relationships are an important aspect of a happy and fulfilling life. They become a source of support in times of doubt, and joint efforts inspire us to new achievements. Moreover, they satisfy the basic human need to be in a respected community. Healthy interpersonal relationships take time, experience, and attention to yourself and the needs of others.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: How to Build a Relationship

1. 1 Meet people. Humans are social in nature, even introverts. So, in order to build healthy relationships with other people, you must first get to know them and start communicating with them.
   • Find reasons to meet new people. The more often you meet, the easier the task and the higher the level of meaningfulness of such interactions. Leave the house. Come to the cafe. Travel. Attend concerts and performances.
   • Find meetings of interest. There are probably groups of people in your city who share your interests and views. Use the internet to find out where they are going and how they are spending their free time.
   • Accept offers. Do not refuse invitations from acquaintances, co-workers, relatives and friends. Settle for dinner on Friday, hike on the weekend, attend your friend's daughter's dance performance. The essence of the event does not really matter. Agree if such plans don't interfere with your day-to-day commitments.
2. 2 Respect the differences. By respecting diversity, we respect the right of people to be different and create opportunities for safe, meaningful and rewarding relationships. How to respect diversity:
   • Learn more about a different culture or religion by attending a temple service.
   • Volunteer to help people with disabilities.
   • Travel to other countries and respect local customs.
   • Watch documentaries about different cultures and corners of the globe.
3. 3 Focus on the quality of the relationship. First-class personal relationships are characterized by closeness, respect, community of views, and caring. The researchers concluded that good relationships with people not only improve mental health, but also contribute to physical health.
   • Spend time together doing useful and meaningful things. For example, go for walks, visit museums, or just socialize.
4. 4 Build trust. Trust is an important part of a healthy relationship. It's hard to get close to someone you don't feel safe around. Show that you can be trusted, admit mistakes, sincerely apologize, behave with dignity, and be open in communication. Strive to connect with people who behave the same way.
   • If you are not ready to take responsibility for your actions and shift the blame onto others, then people will not be able to trust you. Always admit mistakes and be sincere.
   • Always keep promises. Come to meetings with friends on time and complete the work on time. People will see that you are true to your word and can be relied on.
   • Be honest and consistent. You cannot promise to keep the conversation a secret, and then blabber about it to the first person you meet. Your words should not be at odds with your actions.
   • Trust develops between people gradually. It must be earned, especially in the case of past problems.
5. 5 Be kind to people. Kindness is manifested not in gifts and tokens, but in everyday relationships. Treat people with genuine kindness and respect to strengthen the bond between you. Trust and closeness are only possible with a certain level of vulnerability, but a person will not show their vulnerability if they fear ridicule and mistreatment. In turn, kindness becomes a manifestation of respect and care.
   • In a conflict situation, it is not easy to remain kind. Resist the urge to yell, blame, and call names or press on pain points. Instead, try to explain the reasons for your anger and resentment.

Method 2 of 4: How to Communicate Properly

1. 1 Oral communication. The easiest way to meet new people is to strike up a conversation. Studies show that even forced communication can improve mood and opinion about people in general.
   • Stay confident. Express your thoughts and feelings in a respectful and appropriate manner.
   • Be sincere. Be honest and open. People feel sincere and begin to trust in return. If you start a relationship with deception, deception will permeate every aspect of your interactions. The ever-increasing risk of exposure will make it difficult to build a normal relationship.
   • Ask open-ended questions. Hear what people have to say about themselves. This will not only bring you closer and build trust, but you will also be able to steer the conversation in a direction that is comfortable for you.
2. 2 Listen. Listening is the first step to understanding. Show the person that you value their opinion and personality. The following tips will help you learn to listen:
   • Maintain Eye Contact: You don't have to keep eye contact.Just be attentive, do not be distracted by the phone and others.
   • Monitor your body language: Correct body language builds trust. No need to fuss and glance at the clock. Nod your head to show agreement.
   • Don't interrupt: Wait for the person to finish speaking, and only then ask: "Can I clarify something?" Show your attentiveness with nods of approval and short words like "Aha" or "Exactly."
   • Become an open-minded person: There should be no fear or subjective judgment in communication. Look for common ground, not divergence.
3. 3 Non-verbal communication. Pay close attention to your non-verbal cues. This kind of communication gives weight and emphasizes our thoughts and feelings.
   • To look confident, try to speak at a moderate pace (not fast or slow), maintain eye contact (but don’t gaze, sometimes look away), don’t fuss, and don’t use closed poses (for example, don’t cross your arms).
4. 4 Resolve conflicts constructively. Conflicts are inevitable even between like-minded people. In moments of frustration, we often speak words and do things that contradict our views and beliefs. How to rationally resolve conflicts:
   • Avoid aggressive gestures (don't point your finger in your face, don't get too close, don't roll your eyes) and harsh words.
   • Ask questions and express your opinion tactfully.
   • Do not insult the interlocutor and do not get personal.
   • Remind you that you respect the views of others and the right to your own opinion.

Method 3 of 4: How to get close to people

1. 1 Empathize. Compassion expresses warmth, concern, and acceptance. It is on this foundation that healthy relationships, respect and a willingness to listen are built. To empathize, remember to share similar experiences and emphasize the importance of shared values. Thanks to the ability to empathize, people will begin to trust you, rely on your opinion. This is essential for a good relationship.
   • Learn to empathize, not show solidarity. In moments of solidarity, we feel sadness, which is caused by the suffering of others, but is fixated on personal tragedy. Empathy allows you to focus on the interlocutor, listen and feel the pain of others.
2. 2 Show compassion. Through compassion, a person analyzes the causes of his own pain and refuses to inflict such pain on other people. If a person is capable of compassion, then he recognizes someone else's right to happiness, even with a difference of opinion. At its core, compassion is an act of kindness, caring, and respect. Learn to have compassion for others:
   • Show compassion for people who have mistreated you - perhaps the hardest part of compassion is when we think the person does not deserve sympathy. Try to see the situation through the eyes of another person and understand what he had to go through if now he is venting anger at others. Show empathy for the person's inner pain by turning your emotions into good intentions and showing tolerance.
   • Focus on common views: people have more similarities than differences. Everyone strives for love, trust, support, intimacy. Such aspirations can manifest themselves in different ways, but this does not mean at all that we are not alike. If you see the same differences all the time, then open your eyes to basic similarities. After all, you also want happiness, have experienced pain, value safety and learn something new every day.
3. 3 Respond with courtesy for courtesy. Reciprocity is an important part of a strong relationship. Find ways to make life easier for someone, even if only for a moment. Care and attention can help strengthen any relationship.
   • Do good. For example, invite neighbors to look after the child, help friends move, explain math to your little sister. Do not expect reciprocal gratitude or reciprocity, just bring goodness into the world.
   • Treat the person with a treat, be it a gift or verbal encouragement.
   • Provide support by lending a helping hand or offering your services.Take on some of the household chores (cleaning, paying bills, shopping).

Method 4 of 4: How to understand yourself

1. 1 See how introspection helps develop relationships with others. Although you want to learn how to build healthy relationships with other people by understanding in itself, you will only get closer to this goal. Take the time and try to understand yourself deeper, your aspirations, likes and dislikes, evaluate his worldview to tune in to constructive relationships with others.
   • For example, knowing what irritates you makes it easier to avoid acute reactions. For example, your father often brushed aside your words, and now you can flare up if the person is in no hurry to answer your questions. This situation can be prevented if you remind yourself: "I am nervous only because I immediately remember my father. Perhaps the interlocutor is simply formulating his answer or did not hear the question. Do not be angry." Stay calm so you don't hurt the relationship.
2. 2 Keep a diary. A diary is a great way to get to know yourself from the inside, to find a middle ground between an idealized self-image and reality. This calm and focused activity allows you to express what you are not ready to say out loud. Here are some questions to get you thinking:
   • What kind of person am I?
   • What I like?
   • What advice would I give myself for the future?
3. 3 Make a timeline. It allows you to think about your goals and track your progress towards achieving them. It is important for a person to know how much path has already been covered, as well as to motivate himself for further actions. Consider the following:
   • Establish clear time frames. It is not necessary to start at the moment of birth.
   • Make a preliminary list of the events to be listed. Choose the most important and meaningful.
   • Come up with a name. A headline like “My Life” will not be descriptive enough. The title should provide guidance on how to read the chart and reflect the underlying values.
4. 4 Strive for self-realization. The term “self-actualization” was coined by the humanist psychologist Abraham Maslow to describe the process that allows you to meet basic needs and move up the hierarchy of needs. This ideology places particular emphasis on all levels of self-care and the importance of personal needs:
   • Physiology: food, shelter, heat, air
   • Security: protecting against threats and troubles
   • Involvement: belonging to a group, love, freedom to take what is necessary from life and selflessly help others
   • Recognition: a positive self-image
   • “Self-realization”: the ability to explore abstract creative impulses and fulfill one's destiny.