How to ask a friend to pay back a debt

Video: How to Negotiate Debt with Creditors and Other Debt Reduction Tips

Content

Steps
Method 1 of 4: Mentioning the need for a refund
Method 2 of 4: Pay back the debt
Method 3 of 4: Legal steps
Method 4 of 4: Thinking about borrowing money
Warnings
Additional articles

If you've lent money to a friend, asking for the debt can be embarrassing for you. However, with the right approach to business, it is quite possible to demand a return of your funds and at the same time maintain friendship. Initially, lend money with a ready-made plan for returning it, and also learn to treat a friend with an equal amount of kindness and seriousness when it comes to paying off debt. As a last resort, you can demand a refund through the court, but in this case, if you manage to return the funds, then you can forget about friendship with almost one hundred percent certainty.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Mentioning the need for a refund

1 Arrange a personal meeting. Invite a friend over for coffee or lunch to chat. The environment should be informal to make it easier for your friend to communicate openly with you. Of course, you can also communicate with a friend by e-mail, by phone or via SMS, but people understand each other better in face-to-face communication, when you can see the facial expression and body language of the interlocutor with your own eyes.
- Make sure to arrange a one-on-one meeting with your friend. Don't put him in an embarrassing position.
- Send a letter or SMS to a friend, or call and say something like this: "Do you have some free time to chat this weekend?"
- If you would like to hint at the topic of an upcoming conversation, you can ask a friend with the following words: "Could we meet on Friday to discuss the funds that I loaned you a few months ago?"
- If you want to make your friend feel comfortable, let him or her choose the meeting place. Tell him these words: "I would like to discuss this loan that I gave you some time ago. Could we meet this week at your place or somewhere near your house to talk?"
2 Remind duty politely. In some cases, a friend may actually forget that they borrowed money from you. In such a situation, start by mentioning debt. Refer to a friend with a phrase like this: “I happily gave you a loan last month, but I hoped that you would return the debt to me before the day when my rent is due.” This phrase will remind your friend of the money and let him know that it was loaned, not donated, as he might think.
3 Be straightforward. If a polite reminder of debt does not lead to an apology or a voluntary offer of a refund, talk to a friend directly. Be aware that building your phrase into a question will soften the impact it will deliver. Try saying this: "Do you know when you can get my money back?"
- Ask for an accurate answer to your specific question. Phrases like "I hope to get your money back in the next few months" are not acceptable.
- If the friend tries to evade the answer or gives vague explanations, nudge him to approve a deadline for paying the debt. You can address him like this: “I understand your phrase about the coming months, as three months, starting today, and not a day later. Deal?"
4 Don't let your debt go unpaid. The longer you allow your friend to stay out of debt, the less likely you are to get your money back. In addition, if you have to go to court, then a significant waiting time after the originally agreed deadline for repayment of the debt will allow the court to think that you did not expect to get the money back when you lent it.

Method 2 of 4: Pay back the debt

1 Tell a friend why you need the money. Oftentimes, people who are heavily dependent financially on family or friends are not very good at managing their personal finances. They may selfishly believe that using money for their own purposes is more important than paying off debt. In such a situation, it is useful for a person to explain why it is so important for you to get your money back as soon as possible.
- Try to pronounce a phrase like this: “Next month I have to pay real estate tax and the fate of this payment very much depends on when you return the debt to me”.
- You could even say something like, "The money I lent you hit my budget significantly, so the sooner you repay the debt to me, the faster my financial affairs will improve."
- Remember that you do not have a critical need to mention a specific reason in order to demand repayment of your debt. You just need to pay off your debts, however, mentioning the reason for repaying the debt helps to get rid of the unnecessary awkwardness when you need to recover the debt, but at the same time maintain friendship.
2 Ask for a refund of at least part of the funds. If your friend simply cannot pay you the full amount of the debt, ask if he can start paying off the debt in installments to demonstrate that he is serious about paying back. The more open and honest your friend is when discussing his financial situation with you, the better you will understand if he is able to pay you right now or if he needs more time. Regardless of the state of a friend's finances, at least partial debt repayment is always better than no debt at all.
- You can try to address a friend with these words: "I would be grateful if you start paying off your debt today."
- If you are worried that a friend may really have financial problems, turn to him with a phrase similar to the following: “I know that you are still experiencing difficulties, but could you give me back even a small part of it today? debt? "
3 Set a deadline for your money back. Sometimes it is more convenient for people to put themselves in a certain time frame. Explain to your friend that you are expecting full debt repayment by a specific date. Be prepared to extend the deadline if you get the chance. You probably don't want to lose your friend over the money you loaned, but if you really need it yourself, it might be helpful to set a deadline for their return.
- Before you meet with a friend, consider a possible debt repayment schedule that you think will be realistic for him or her. Your initiative with a schedule will help relieve a friend of the stress that he would have to experience in order to independently decide to raise the issue.
- Address him as follows: "How much debt can you pay me monthly?"
- Try to help your friend determine the due dates by contacting him with similar words: "Do you usually pay your bills at the beginning or at the end of the month? To make it easier for you, you can pay off your debt in the half of the month that is convenient for you."
4 Prepare a debt repayment schedule. List the dates and amounts to be paid, and ask a friend to follow the schedule. You can even ask him to sign this document if the methods you tried to get your money back were unsuccessful. A phased debt repayment schedule will make it easier for a friend to pay you back because they won't have to give you the full amount at once.
- Feel free to ask a friend to follow a debt repayment schedule or even formalize a loan agreement with him, especially if you've lent him a significant amount of money.
- Start your discussion of the schedule by saying, "It may seem overkill, but I want to make sure we are both committed to paying off the debt. I've put together a schedule here that will help both of us stick to our chosen plan."
- Explain to your friend that the original document is just a proposal, and talk with him about possible adjustments so that paying off the debt is not too difficult. For example, you might say, "I know you were planning to go on vacation in May, if you want we can cross out the payment this month."
5 Reduce the amount of debt by the cost of the services rendered by the other. This step may seem strange, but usually friends are always ready to come to your aid when you need it. If a friend gave you a ride to the airport for free, helped with an apartment renovation, or looked after your children, consider deducting the cost of such services from their debt if you had to hire someone else to do it. This move is especially good when your friend is really unable to pay you back.
- In some circumstances, it may be appropriate to ask a friend for certain services to pay off a debt. For example, if you need to temporarily leave the city, you might say, “I'm going on a business trip for 10 days. Could you look after my dogs and houseplants? And for this I will deduct two thousand rubles from your debt ”.
- If your friend is honestly trying to pay off his debt to you, but at the same time is experiencing serious financial difficulties, offer him just to help you, instead of paying off with money. Address him like this: “I really appreciate your commitment to paying on time, but wouldn't it be easier for you to look after my kids this coming weekend when I leave for a conference instead of paying this month? I would be very grateful for your help. ”
6 Decide what's more important to you. As a last resort, you will have to choose between paying back the debt and maintaining the friendship. This will most likely be a difficult decision. However, if you have made some effort to get your money back, but your friend simply could not physically pay you back, it is quite possible that the time has come to consider the previously issued loan a gift.

Method 3 of 4: Legal steps

1 Submit a claim letter demanding payment of the debt. The first legal step in claiming a refund should be a letter of claim sent to a friend with a request to repay the debt within a specific time frame. Consult a lawyer in advance to properly draw up a claim, and then send it to the debtor by registered mail with acknowledgment of receipt. This will give you the opportunity to later prove that the friend received the claim. The text of the letter itself should describe the essence of the claim in as much detail as possible.
- The letter must indicate the amount of the loan, the duration of the delay in repayment and the measures taken earlier to return your funds. Also, in the text, you should indicate a link to the fact that you will go to court if the debtor does not fulfill his obligations within the specified period.
- For example, a letter of claim to the debtor may look like this: “On December 3, 2015, I loaned Pyotr Vasilyevich Ivanov 40 thousand rubles to support his construction business. Initially, it was supposed to pay off the debt by October 3, 2016. Upon the expiration of the due date, I turned to the debtor both orally and in writing with requests to repay the debt, and also offered to draw up a payment schedule. However, this did not have the proper effect on Mr. Ivanov. In the event that the debt is not repaid by December 3, 2016, I will have to go to court with a statement of claim to collect the debt ”.
- If your friend responds to the letter and pays off the debt within the deadline indicated in the claim, then you will not have to go to court.
2 Get acquainted with the information of legal Internet resources regarding the preparation of legal claims. Civil lawsuits are among the most common, so on the Internet you can find a number of sites and even special applications that will make it easier and easier for you to draw up a claim for debt collection.Usually, specialized legal websites offer both free and paid services. In many cases, you will be helped to draw up a claim for free and will be asked to pay for the services of a lawyer only if the result of the initial consideration of the case is not in your favor.
- Carefully study the information about the legal Internet resources and applications you are considering for drafting claims. Many of them are quite reliable, but there is a possibility of stumbling across fraudsters who will only try to siphon money out of you for their services and will not help you collect debts at all.
- Read customer reviews, check information about a potential counterparty through the website of the Federal Tax Service, or just carefully read the published information about lawyers who will have to help you in your case.
3 Collect the required documents. Before going to court or even a lawyer, you must collect as much physical evidence as possible. You should have receipts, bank statements of the transfers made, any written agreements with the debtor, as well as the data of your electronic and paper correspondence with a friend. All of this information can be important evidence that you did lend money to a friend. In a debt collection proceeding, it is the plaintiff, not the defendant, who must prove their right to receive funds, so any written evidence will make it easier for you to do this.
4 Check out legal restrictions. In the general case, the limitation period for debts according to the Civil Code of the Russian Federation is three years, but in some situations it can be either increased or reduced. Do your own research or contact a lawyer to find out about possible legal restrictions before going to court.
5 Prove the origin of your funds. Providing evidence to the court that you lent your friend some honestly earned money is one of the most important parts of successfully solving your case. It may seem ridiculous to you, but the lack of confirmed information about the source of the lender's funds often allows the borrower to avoid responsibility for repaying the debt. If you transferred money to a friend by bank transfer, then your bank statement will be sufficient proof of the origin of the amount owed by the court.
- If you lent a friend cash, then it will be much more difficult to prove the fact of borrowing and the source of origin of the funds.
- Sufficient proof may be the fact that cash was withdrawn from your bank account on the specified date of the debt in the amount considered in the court.
6 Claim money by court order. Even if the court decides in your favor, you may have difficulty getting your money. Record all the facts of payments on debt and delays, so as not to delay with a second appeal to the court (if necessary). A simple desire to avoid paying unnecessary fines and court fees may induce the debtor to pay off the debts within the time frame established by the court.

Method 4 of 4: Thinking about borrowing money

1 Ask a friend to write an IOU. Many people take a receipt from the debtor just before borrowing money to protect themselves in case the person refuses to pay in the future. This step in a debt relationship is quite reasonable, since it allows from the very beginning to clearly fix all the terms of the agreement between the lender and the borrower. The terms of the IOU can easily be changed if the friend needs more time to pay off the debt. Check out the article "How to write an IOU" for more information on this issue.
2 Write down a plan to pay off the debt in writing. Even if you didn't initially ask your friend for an IOU, it can be helpful to agree on a debt settlement plan with him when he has a chance to start paying it off. Make a written repayment schedule and certify it with a friend at a notary. This will give the document more legal weight if you later have to go to court. In addition, having a notarized schedule will make the friend take the issue of paying off the debt more seriously.
3 Use dedicated apps to help you pay off your debt. There are enough payment applications through which friends can easily pay off both small and large debt to you. For example, you can use applications such as PayPal, WebMoney Keper, Google Wallet, or Yandex.Money: Online Payments to bill and receive money.
- The Yandex.Money: Online Payments application is convenient to use when money has been borrowed for general expenses. For example, if you rent an apartment with friends and pay utility bills from your account, and then your friends will reimburse them to you.
- PayPal and Google Wallet are better suited for larger borrowings. With their help, you can issue invoices to a friend and send reminders of their payment. That being said, the fees for transferring funds are usually quite acceptable.
4 Assess a friend's trustworthiness before lending money to him. Ask why the friend didn't borrow money for personal needs in a more traditional way (for example, through a credit card or bank loan). Try to understand if your friend's financial difficulties are temporary, or if they are constantly struggling to make ends meet. It would be unwise of you to lend money if the likelihood that a friend can return it to you is extremely small.
- Start with the following simple question: "Why did you need the money?"
- The next question may be inconvenient, but it is also necessary: "How much debt do you have in total?" Before you lend money to a friend, you have the right to expect from him an honest description of his financial situation.
- Before borrowing, agree with a friend on the maturity of the debt. Ask him another question: "I understand that now you are in a difficult position, but when do you think you will be able to get on your feet?"
- Finally, ask your friend what is probably the most important question about what they are going to do to get out of debt. For example, address him like this: "What are you willing to do right now to change your financial situation? Can you get a second job or work overtime at your current job?"
5 Try not to lend money to friends you don't want to lose. Despite your best efforts, if you lend money to a friend, you can either lose money, or a friend, or both. Before getting involved in a friend's financial problems, think about whether you are willing to sacrifice the friendship or money that you will borrow afterwards.

Warnings

If your friend spends a lot of money on alcohol, drugs, or gambling, try helping him. Perhaps he is experiencing a harmful addiction. If you help them break their addiction, you will increase their chances of getting their money back and, more importantly, allow the friend to return to a safe and healthy lifestyle.
Be prepared for potential negative reactions from a friend. Talking about money can be stressful, embarrassing, and uncomfortable even under the best circumstances. When it comes to borrowing between friends, there is always an additional cause for concern. Potential negative reactions from a friend to trying to collect debt from him can lead to the fact that your friendship will collapse.