Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Start a Conversation
• Method 2 of 3: Clarify Facts and Expectations
• Method 3 of 3: End the conversation
• Tips
• Warnings

Discussing masturbation with your teenage child can be embarrassing, and chances are you are terrified at the prospect of this conversation. Chances are good that your child is also not eager to discuss this. Yes, it won't be easy, but talking about this will ensure that the child is aware of masturbation. It also shows that you are open to serious conversations. As you communicate, let your teenager know that what he goes through is normal, so he has nothing to be ashamed of.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Start a Conversation

1. 1 Take time to talk to your teen in private. It is likely that both of you will feel uncomfortable talking about masturbation. Chatting in the living room after dinner or on an evening stroll can relax you a little. Let your teen know that you want to have an important conversation with him, but that you are not going to scold him.
   • Say, “We'll both be home on Saturday afternoon, so I want us to talk about an important topic. Don't worry, nothing bad happened and you were not guilty of anything. "
2. 2 Reach out to your child in a calm and open manner. Do not strain or cross your arms, as this can send a signal that you are upset. Also, speak in a friendly and understanding tone. So the child will understand that there is nothing wrong with his actions.
   • Try to keep the conversation light and casual.

   Advice: if you are stressed or upset, take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down. Or you can count to 10.

   
   
3. 3 Be clear about the purpose of your conversation. Say you want to talk about masturbation so your child knows it is not a shameful topic. If you or your child are uncomfortable, you can use euphemisms like “touch yourself” or “explore your body”.
   • You might say, “You’re growing up, and you may have begun to feel the urge to explore your body. Today I want to talk about it so that you know that there is nothing wrong with these feelings. "
4. 4 Make it clear that you do not find his behavior shameful. Most likely, the child will be embarrassed that he masturbates.If he thinks that you want to shame him, he may learn to hide his sex life or decide that his natural urges are wrong. Tell him that you are talking to him about this topic only so that he receives the correct information.
   • Say, “You are not doing anything wrong. It's perfectly okay to touch yourself, and I want you to know all the facts about it. "

Method 2 of 3: Clarify Facts and Expectations

1. 1 Explain that masturbation has no side effects. The child may have heard rumors about the dangers of masturbation. Tell him that this process does not harm health or the body in any way. Let him know that masturbation can actually reduce stress levels. Finally, ask what other rumors have reached him to dispel any myths.
   • Say, “Masturbation is a natural human behavior that does not harm the body. What have you heard about this? "
2. 2 Discuss the importance of privacy when it comes to masturbation. Despite the fact that some teens hide that they are doing this, others openly admit it. Either way, explain to your child that masturbation is something to be done in privacy. This means that you need to lock the door while at home and not do it in public places.
   • Tell them not to be ashamed of it. Confidentiality is about respecting yourself and others, not hiding your behavior.
3. 3 Talk to your teen about personal values, but respect their choices. Tell us what you think about masturbation and sex. Then share your expectations regarding his choice. However, let him know that his body is his and that you respect his choice.
   • You might say, “I think masturbation is a safe way to satisfy your sexual needs. I hope you start having sex when you become an adult and you understand what you want. However, I know that you are a smart child, and I respect what you think is true for yourself. "

   A warning: perhaps your religious or spiritual beliefs are against masturbation. However, it is important to let the child decide what is right for him or her. Share your feelings with him, but don't shame him so that he lives up to your expectations. Otherwise, he may develop unhealthy sexual habits.

   
   
4. 4 Explain the importance of good hygiene while masturbating. If a teenager starts masturbating for the first time, he may not realize how important it is to wash his hands or the appliance he is using. Talk to him about the need to keep your genitals clean to avoid infections. Emphasize that he should always wash his hands before doing this.
   • If you have a daughter, ask her to wash her hands before and after masturbation, and to clean any toys she uses. Explain that dirty hands or toys can cause urinary tract infections.
   • If you have a son, teach him how to wash his hands and clean up after the process is complete.
5. 5 Share your personal experience only if you're comfortable with it. The child may ask if you are masturbating. It's up to you whether to answer this question. Don't feel obligated to talk about it if you're embarrassed.
   • You can say, “I started masturbating in school, but now I don't do it that often,” or, “Many people like to masturbate, but some choose not to. However, this is not something you should ask about. "
6. 6 Let your teen choose if he wants to talk about the topic or not. Perhaps he will have many questions, or maybe he would prefer to remain silent. Let him talk openly if he wants to. If he is silent, let him know that you would be interested to hear his opinion, but you respectfully accept his decision if he does not want to say anything.
   • If the child opens up or asks questions, you can say, “I am very proud that you are talking about this. I hope you will always come to me for important conversations. "
   • If the child is silent, say: “I want you to know that you can always tell me whatever you want, and I am always ready to answer your questions. At the same time, you don't have to speak if you don't want to. "

Method 3 of 3: End the conversation

1. 1 Answer the teen's questions to the best of your ability. Find out if he has any questions. Answer him as you see fit. If you don’t know the answer, say that you will clarify the information and come back to the conversation later that day.
   • For example, he might ask you things like, "Will masturbation every day harm me?" Or, "Does masturbation lead to infertility?" The answer to both of these questions is no.
   • Likewise, he may have questions about emissions.
   • Most likely, you can find answers to questions on the Internet. You may not want to look for information in front of your child in case inappropriate material comes up.

   Advice: keep in mind that if you take too long to answer, your teen is more likely to find it on his own. He can also ask his friends, but it is better for him to get an answer from you.

   
   
2. 2 Reassure your teen that he is okay. Before ending the conversation, reinforce the fact that masturbation is normal and healthy. Tell him that a lot of people like to do this, so there is nothing to be ashamed of.
   • You might say, "I know what you are going through can be confusing, but you have to understand that this is a normal and healthy process, so there is no need to feel guilty."
3. 3 Ask your teen if he needs anything from you. This is a good time to show your child that they can reach out to you if they need help with safe sex issues. Try to keep an open mind and help your child get what they need to stay safe. Now that could mean a box of napkins or a lock on his bedroom door.
   • Say, "Is there anything I can help you with?"
   • This will make your teen more comfortable asking about condoms or birth control pills later on. You may be hoping that they won't be useful to him, but it is still better that he be prepared.

   Advice: no need to stimulate the child's sexual behavior. However, it is important that the teenager has the necessary things in order to have a safe sex life. Otherwise, he may behave incorrectly.

4. 4 Approach him in two or three days to see if he has any questions. It may take your teenager time to think things over for a few days before he has any questions. However, he may be embarrassed to bring the topic up again. Talk to him in private a few days after the serious conversation to see if he wants to know more.
   • You might say, “I'm sure you were thinking about what we discussed on Saturday. Do you have any questions? "
5. 5 Do not monitor your child to see if he is masturbating. It is important that the child has personal space and can make decisions about his own body. Of course, you only wish him well, but sometimes this means that you need to respect his boundaries. Give your teen space to decide what is right for them.
   • Don't rummage through his belongings or knock on the door if you suspect he is masturbating.

Tips

• Chances are, your child has access to the internet, so he may have started looking for information on masturbation on his own.
• Try to talk to your child before you notice signs that he is masturbating. This way, he will be more aware of how to safely masturbate before starting to do it.

Warnings

• Shaming your child for masturbating can negatively affect him for the rest of his life. Let him know that there is nothing wrong with wanting to masturbate.