Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 4: How to Prepare for a Conversation
• Part 2 of 4: How to start a conversation
• Part 3 of 4: How to Discuss Body Changes
• Part 4 of 4: How to behave after a conversation

Talking about puberty is a sensitive topic for children and parents.If the prospect of such a conversation makes you worry, take the right approach to make your conversation easy and effective. Instead of one conversation, have several conversations about the growth and development of the child's body. Puberty and the changes that come with it can easily scare a child, so your goal is to calm kids down and dispel common myths. You need to collect accurate information, provide support, and answer questions.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: How to Prepare for a Conversation

1. 1 Schedule a chat time. Puberty for boys and girls occurs at different times. You can have a conversation after the first physical changes or beforehand so that the child is ready. It is recommended that at age eight, children already have an understanding of puberty and the accompanying physical and emotional changes.
   • If you choose to only have one conversation about puberty, continue to have regular conversations with your children about body development and maturity.
   • In girls, puberty begins around the age of eight. If the child begins to actively grow, this may be a sign of the onset of puberty. So it's time to talk to your child about this topic.
   • In boys, puberty begins later, at about ten to eleven years.
2. 2 Children should learn about puberty from their parents. You should start the conversation, so don't wait for the child to come to you with questions. In fact, such a moment may not come. If you put it off and not talk about it, the child may feel that such conversations are inappropriate or you just do not want to talk about puberty. This situation can become a hindrance to normal communication and drive a wedge between you, so take an adult act and start this conversation yourself.
   • Although children may receive information about puberty and sexuality from external sources, such as older siblings, friends, TV and the Internet, it is very important that you talk to them. Provide reliable information that is accurate and well-founded.
   • Often, children get distorted or misconceptions about sex and puberty. They hear random snippets of conversation or outright nonsense. It is important that they receive accurate and reliable information from you about the changes that will begin in their body.
3. 3 Try to keep the conversation casual. You can plan an interesting event so that the conversation goes smoothly. For example, dine in a restaurant, take your child to a museum or an ice rink. On the day of the conversation, you and your child should experience joyful and positive emotions.
   • Give a quick briefing and get back to fun. The conversation doesn't have to be long and tiring. You can always return to this topic later.
4. 4 Keep calm. Talking about puberty is a tricky moment for a parent or child. If you are nervous or anxious, gather the necessary information. Adequate knowledge will help to express thoughts clearly and not to be embarrassed too much. Stick to facts to worry less.
   • Try not to laugh or be embarrassed in the presence of your child. Show that it is normal and natural to talk about it, not embarrassing or embarrassing.
   • Continue to breathe evenly, relax and do not strain. There is no need to pace the room or wring your hands nervously and not find a place for yourself.
5. 5 Gather materials on the topic. You can always give your child a brochure or book with information on puberty. Find suitable books, brochures, videos, or other materials before speaking. Say the names of sites with a competent consideration of the topic, or browse them together. You can also print images and pictures. Prepare to show and educate your child about puberty.
   • Find useful books and websites on the internet.There are tons of sites out there with useful information about puberty and preparing for a conversation. You can also provide your child with literate books for familiarization.

Part 2 of 4: How to start a conversation

1. 1 Start a conversation. Choose a moment when you and your child do not need to rush or be distracted by other activities. Share the information and invite your child to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns. At the very beginning, you can ask the child what he knows about puberty, and then confirm or refute his ideas.
   • If your child is worried or anxious, do not talk too long and help him confide in you so that you can discuss the topic openly in the future.
   • Say, “Did a friend tell you that a girl can only get pregnant after she gets married? This is wrong. A girl can become pregnant at any time after her first menstrual period, even if she is still young. Your friend didn't talk about that, did she? ”.
2. 2 Tell us about the reasons for puberty. Tell us about hormones, their role in the process. Talk about how puberty is a step towards maturity, and change is helping that process. Talk about change in a positive way and explain to your child that he has nothing to be ashamed of and does not need to hide what is happening to him.
   • Say, “Hormones are the body's chemical messengers that are responsible for change in both boys and girls. These chemicals start the puberty process and help children gradually become adults. Thanks to this, one day you will be ready to have children. ”
3. 3 Discuss mood swings and emotions. Mood swings and different emotions are common during puberty. Hormonal changes cause emotional outbursts and mood swings. In this case, just leave the child alone. Encourage him to exercise, chat with friends, eat healthy, and get more sleep at night. Say that it’s much easier to fall asleep if you put all your electronic devices aside.
   • Sometimes, children may show signs of mental problems such as depression, anxiety, and even more dangerous mental disorders. For example, irritability and imbalance can be symptoms of depression. If your child's mood and behavior makes you anxious, see a therapist or psychiatrist.
4. 4 Tell us about acceptable and unacceptable touches. Children need to understand when something inappropriate is happening to them and how to tell a reliable adult about it. This conversation is not a one-off and should continue throughout the growing up period. Physical change can bring a new type of attention to your child. Remind your child that his body belongs only to him and to no one else. Even if you do not want to touch on the topic of sex, it is important to convey to the child the concept of consent and his right to prohibit those touches that bring a feeling of discomfort.
   • It should be understood that the nature of the conversation will change over time. For example, it is enough for a small child to know about unacceptable touching, but with age it will be necessary to talk about consent to sexual intercourse.
   • From childhood, teach your child the rule of underwear: other people should not touch him in those places that are covered with underwear, and he himself should also not touch other people in such places.
   • Say, “During puberty, amazing changes take place in the body. Do not forget - this is your body, and no one has the right to touch you without permission. If another person tries to do this, tell him “No” and tell me or another adult you trust so that nothing bad happens. ”

Part 3 of 4: How to Discuss Body Changes

1. 1 Explain that change is okay. Many children are frightened of the changes that happen to their bodies if this does not happen with their friends.Tell your child that everyone develops at different times and is not always the same. During puberty, the child wants to stay ordinary and match up with friends. Reassure your child that all changes are perfectly normal, they won't last forever.
   • For example, your daughter started developing breasts earlier than her friends. Reassure your child that this is how it should be, and the same will happen to your friends soon.
   • Say, “You will notice that almost all of your classmates will start or have already begun to change. This may be a little intimidating, but it's normal for boys to get taller and their voices change. Girls have breasts, menstruation begins. Such changes are completely normal. ”
2. 2 Talk about body hair. During puberty, body hair begins to grow in boys and girls. Tell the children that it's okay - hair should appear where it wasn't before. Reassure your child that everything is fine. Some cultures allow body hair to be shaved, so boys can shave their face and girls can shave their underarms.
   • Say, “Body hair is a normal part of puberty, so you will have hair under your arms and around your genitals. Boys are starting to grow facial hair. ”
   • Sometimes body hair can cause unpleasant odors. Talk with your child about what body odor is and how to use deodorants. Say, “If your body odor becomes unpleasant, use deodorant. We can choose the one you like. ”
3. 3 Talk about your period. You can talk about menstrual cycles in different ways to boys and girls, but it is necessary to tell about menstruation not only to girls, so that no one has any shame, awkwardness or misunderstanding. It is important to tell girls about their period before their first menstrual period so that they are not intimidated by the blood on their underwear.
   • For example, say, “Menstruation is a normal and important part of a girl's transformation into a woman, so there is no need to be afraid. Boys shouldn't be intimidated either. Menses are needed to reproduce. They also help the woman to understand whether she is pregnant or not. ”
   • Girls can be told more detailed information so that they understand what to expect and how to cope with their period. Tell us briefly about the hygiene products for women, taking into account the age. You can continue the conversation later, when the girl starts her period, but now it is necessary to lay the foundations to prevent possible fears.
4. 4 Talk about an erection. Explain to the children that spontaneous erections sometimes occur, which can cause feelings of embarrassment in the presence of other people. Tell boys that their erections will subside and that a properly positioned backpack or jacket will help them avoid embarrassing situations in public.
   • Talk about wet dreams before they start at age 12-16. The child may misunderstand what is happening, be embarrassed and think that something abnormal is happening.
   • Tell the boys, “It's okay to have an erection, even if it's uncomfortable. No need to worry, it will pass. ”
   • Tell the children not to laugh if the boy has an erection.

Part 4 of 4: How to behave after a conversation

1. 1 Calm the child down. Children often feel insecure or embarrassed about changes. Calm the child down and tell him that puberty has arrived. External changes can be awkward and embarrassing. Some children become moody and irritable. Help them understand the essence of the change and tell them that it won't last forever. The child should know that you are always ready to help.
   • Remind you of your love and support. Even if you are unhappy with your child's behavior, there is no need to quarrel. Don't take his mood personally. It is you as an adult who should become an example of correct behavior and self-control.
2. 2 Answer questions. Children need to know that you are always ready to answer questions that bother them.Girls may worry about why they still don't have periods or why breasts are different sizes. Boys worry about wet dreams or changes that happen to their penis or testicles. If you don't have a ready-made answer, say, “This is a great question. I need to think about the correct answer, ”and gather the necessary information to correctly answer the child's question.
   • Give your child an opportunity to ask questions. Say that any question is important. Give honest and straightforward answers. No need to smile, laugh, or joke about children's concerns. Downplaying the problem makes the child feel stupid. This situation is not conducive to a good mood.
3. 3 Raise your child's awareness. Sometimes children can ask such questions, after which they want to run away and hide. Instead of tales of storks and cabbage, try to give the most honest answer, taking into account the age of the child. Use these moments to talk dispassionately about puberty and sexuality. Show that you are not afraid to answer such questions.
   • For example, if an eight-year-old asks what oral sex is, say, “This can be done by adults. The genitals and mouth are involved in the process ”.