Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Look Your Loneliness in the Eyes
• Part 2 of 3: Time to Get Out of the Sink
• Part 3 of 3: Find More Opportunities to Connect with People

Do you look at open, sociable people with amazement? How do they do it? How do they manage to communicate with others so easily? If you consider yourself an introverted person, but want to change and get out of the shell, we can give you some tips. With their help, you can change yourself, learn to meet people and make new friends.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Look Your Loneliness in the Eyes

1. 1 Know yourself. If you are reading this article, then most likely you are not happy with your own loneliness and you feel isolated. Do you want to live easier, change yourself and meet people? In these circumstances, it can be helpful to determine if you are a loner by nature or simply feel lonely.
   • People who consider themselves loners usually prefer to spend a lot of time alone, often feel very tired from interacting with other people and usually do not worry about the lack of company to communicate. If you are a loner by nature, there is nothing wrong with that. The main thing is that it corresponds to your essence and does not cause discontent and anxiety in you!
   • It's another matter if you feel lonely, because you would like to communicate with people, but cannot do this, or have significant difficulties in establishing social connections with others.
2. 2 Determine why you want to stop being withdrawn. Take the time to consider why it is important for you to stop being a loner. Do you dislike the present life and want to start talking with people and doing common things? Or are you just experiencing external pressure from other people who want you to change your habits?
   • You need to understand that there are people who are quite happy with their lives, and for this they do not need to maintain a lot of social contacts. You shouldn't give in to people who think that you “should” behave in a certain way and simply “should” enjoy the opportunity to interact with people at any time.
3. 3 Understand the importance of social interaction. Of course, you shouldn't assume that you need to change yourself in order to conform to the idea of ​​“normal behavior”. However, you need to know that each person needs to maintain relationships with other people to one degree or another.
   • People who are lonely and isolated from others (we can be completely lonely even when surrounded by many people) are more prone to developing depression and other potentially serious illnesses. That is why every person, even an ingrained introvert, simply needs to spend time with other people.
4. 4 You need to understand the importance of developing communication skills with people. It happens that a person has only one or two close friends, or he is quite happy, spending time only in the company of his pet. Even so, it is very important to develop interpersonal skills.Each person needs the ability to start a conversation, the skill of maintaining a conversation, and knowledge of behavior in various social situations.
   • Finding a job and being successful in your job almost always requires you to have some kind of interpersonal skills. This is why you need to take the time and learn to feel confident around other people.
5. 5 Assess your life circumstances. So you've decided that it's important for you to stop being withdrawn. So it's time to start drawing up a plan. First of all, you need to carefully consider your current life situation. Why are you so isolated from others? If you can find the reason for your retreat, you will know where to start when you try to expand your social circle.
   • Maybe you've just moved to another city or changed jobs? Have you just entered university and now live in a hostel away from home?
   • Do you work from home and do not communicate with colleagues in person?
6. 6 Limit the amount of time you spend online. If you find it difficult to maintain face-to-face communication or have few opportunities to communicate with people in real life, it is tempting to start making friends with people in the virtual space. This is not a bad thing in itself, as it gives you the opportunity to develop communication skills and meet people who share your interests.
   • However, virtual communication differs in many ways from closer physical communication with people. Despite the fact that you interact intensively with people through a computer or phone, you may still feel the same lonely and isolated from people. Set a goal and start pushing the boundaries of your own interactions with people.

Part 2 of 3: Time to Get Out of the Sink

1. 1 Chat with animals. If you are very nervous about having to talk to people, you will feel calmer if you find the opportunity to spend time with animals. It would be nice if you had the opportunity to interact with animals outside of your own home. Try volunteering at a local animal shelter or running a dog walking company.
   • You will have the opportunity to find yourself new furry friends. More importantly, you will need to interact with at least one or two new people, be they other volunteers or dog owners.
   • If you feel calmer around animals, it will be easier for you to talk to people. Plus, your conversation can revolve around pets all the time, so you don't have to painfully figure out what to talk about in a minute.
2. 2 Focus on just being around people. When you start to get rid of isolation, you shouldn't force yourself to strike up conversations with strangers (or even with colleagues or classmates) or immediately start looking for friends. Move forward slowly and make it a rule to go out every day somewhere where you can spend time surrounded by people.
   • Walk or visit a small, cozy cafe every day. To begin with, you should learn to feel calm around other people.
3. 3 Try not to focus on negative things. It is very easy to pay special attention to all the cases when people ignore or make fun of you, forget about you and do not invite you to their company. It is extremely counterproductive to focus exclusively on the negative aspects of communication.
4. 4 Learn to notice social cues. When you are in a crowded place, pay attention to signals that indicate that people would like to get to know you better or would be happy if you join their company.
   • Did someone smile at you friendly? Said: Hello! How are you? ”Someone removed their bag from the seat and invited you to sit down? The person next to you in the cafe smiled and ordered the same dessert as you?
   • All of these signals can be taken as an invitation to start a conversation. Don't automatically dismiss them as your usual courtesy.
5. 5 Demonstrate friendliness. Of course, it is very important to keep track of the signals that indicate the desire of people to communicate with you. But it is equally important to be able to attract people to yourself. If you want to show people that you want to talk or join their company, the easiest way is to smile openly and say hello to them.
   • You may be thinking that the phrase: "Hello! How are you?" does not mean anything. However, you will be very surprised to see how often people want to start a conversation after they hear these words from you.
6. 6 Create a positive atmosphere. If you are afraid of rejection all the time and think that you are doomed to loneliness, you yourself create your own destiny. Try your best to avoid thoughts such as, "Nobody wants to talk to a boring loser like me."
   • When you go somewhere, be sure to tell yourself that you are having fun and interacting with people in an interesting way. Reassure yourself that people will love you when they get to know you better.
   • At first, you may feel stupid and not believe in yourself. Nevertheless, such self-hypnosis is really effective.
7. 7 Pay attention to the characteristics of the people around you before you start talking to them. It may seem ridiculous and strange to you to start a conversation with any person you have just met. Instead, you can take a closer look at the people you often meet in your neighborhood, work, or school. Memorize their faces and try to find out the names, for example, by hearing other people refer to them during a conversation. Memorize this information so that you will have something to take as a basis when you finally decide to start a conversation with the person.
   • For example, pay attention when a teacher is doing a survey in a seminar, or jotting down interesting comments that you heard from classmates in a notebook. Then you will have a topic for conversation if you suddenly meet a familiar student before the start of classes or at the bus stop. You can ask, for example, to help you understand the theory of the world of ideas of Plato.
   • Imagine the situation: you notice that your neighbor has a puppy. If you come across them on a walk, take advantage of this information and say, "It's amazing how your puppy has grown this month!"
8. 8 Make social connections with people who need to communicate with you. In order to develop communication skills and be able to make new friends, try to find ways that will give you the opportunity to regularly meet with the same person and communicate with him or her.
   • For example, you can do a study project with someone or help someone with their studies.
   • In such an environment, there is more opportunity to concentrate. For example, if you are carrying out a study project with someone, the topic for communication will be known in advance, and face-to-face communication will not cause you the same fear.

Part 3 of 3: Find More Opportunities to Connect with People

1. 1 Find what you are talented at. Taking a little time to identify your talents and strengths will boost your self-confidence. Plus, you will be able to discover new opportunities that will allow you to connect with people who share your interests.
   • For example, you have determined that you are musically gifted. Now you can start thinking of ways that will give you the opportunity to meet people in a setting that is somehow related to music.
   • If you are not in your best physical condition, you probably shouldn't sign up for a football team to interact with people. There, you will not only have to worry about your excitement when communicating with people, but also feel awkward and tense, since it will be problematic for you to demonstrate the required level of sports skills.
2. 2 Join a club or group that is related to your interests. Now that you feel more confident around other people and have an idea of ​​your interests and talents, it's time to move forward and try to find real friends.
   • If you love reading, for example, consider joining a reading club. Usually it is not difficult to join such a club, and no one will force you to actively speak out at the first meetings. At the same time, you will have the feeling that there are people around who share your interests, and they will be happy to hear your opinion when you want to share it.
   • If you love sports, you should look for a jogging club near your home or join your school's sports team. You can also go to a nearby sports club and sign up for a group gym session. After a few practice sessions, you will begin to get to know people in your group and know that you have common topics of conversation with them.
3. 3 Go to events. Even if you don't have enough free time on your schedule to meet people regularly, you still have the opportunity to connect with people. To do this, you need to go to theaters, concerts and public lectures.
   • People often linger after such an event, and after attending several concerts, you will already be able to recognize familiar faces in the crowd. Then you have a great excuse to start a conversation that can start a real friendship.
4. 4 Volunteer. Another good way to get to know people is to assess your area of ​​interest and join volunteer work that responds to it.
   • For example, you might work building housing for the homeless, reading books for residents of a nursing home, or participating in a political campaign.
5. 5 Try to invite people to join you more often. Have you already attended a few club meetings, a couple of concerts, or volunteered? Have you had some interesting conversations with people on your account? It's time to discover new horizons for yourself and learn how to invite people with whom you would like to do something interesting.
   • For example, you have joined a jogging club and have already talked to Kolya several times. Now is the time to tell him that you are going to take part in the five-kilometer cross next Saturday and invite a new friend to join you.
   • Maybe you went to a reading club a few times and found out that your college is about to meet with a famous writer. It is a good idea to invite other members of the club to come with you to this meeting. You can also invite them to sit out in a café after meeting their favorite writer.
6. 6 Create obstacles to avoid the temptation to come up with an excuse to cancel the appointment. If you are a loner by nature, you will be tempted to call your coach or clubmate and cancel your plans. Try to think of ways to make canceling plans difficult. If other people depend on you, it will be much more difficult to find an excuse for yourself to return to antisocial habits.
   • For example, you promised your coworkers to go out to a restaurant with them on Friday night. There is a temptation that closer to the appointed time you will want to tell the sick. However, if you promise a colleague in advance that you will drive her to a restaurant in your car, it will be much more difficult for you to back down and spend the evening alone.
7. 7 Be selective. Even if you feel unhappy alone and are desperate for a lack of friends, it's worth spending time only with those who treat you well.
   • You shouldn't rush headlong into relationships that don't bring you satisfaction and make you feel uncomfortable. Don't make friends with just anyone just to feel more social.
8. 8 Learn more about social anxiety. Over time, do you still have serious difficulties communicating with people? Do you feel nauseous and panic at the mere thought of being around other people or in a crowded place? You may be suffering from some form of anxiety disorder.
   • In this case, it can be extremely beneficial for you to seek medical attention from a therapist or mental health professional. Together, you can identify the underlying cause of the anxiety and develop a treatment plan. This can be psychotherapy, medication, or a combination of the two.