Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 4: Setting Behavioral Goals
• Part 2 of 4: Delaying Desire Gratification
• Part 3 of 4: Monitoring progress
• Part 4 of 4: Avoiding Failures or "Correcting Errors"

Willpower, also known as self-discipline or self-control, is the ability to control behavior, emotions, and attention. Willpower refers to the ability to control impulses, resist immediate gratification of desires, and fight unwanted thoughts and feelings. Sufficient willpower allows a person to get out of a deplorable financial state, make the right choice regarding physical and mental health, and stop using drugs. You can move towards your goals and build willpower by continually giving up on the immediate gratification of your desires. This behavior will teach you to control your own impulses.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Setting Behavioral Goals

1. 1 Think about your habits. If you are trying to build willpower, then you cannot control your impulses, which, most likely, negatively affects your life. Some people cannot cope with many desires, while others have one particular "weakness." If you have a lot of uncontrollable desires, then you need to learn how to control them one by one.
   • For example, you find it difficult to refrain from eating a particular dish. This can affect your overall health and your quality of life.
   • For example, you find it difficult to refrain from impulsive purchases, so you cannot save money to buy the things you need.
2. 2 Create a scale to measure your willpower. For example, from 1 to 10, where 1 - you have absolutely no control over your desires, and 10 - you strictly follow the established rules. Or you can make such a simple scale: no (willpower), there is little, most likely there is.
   • For example, if you can't deny yourself buying sweets, give yourself a 1 or 2 on a scale of 1-10.
   • If you impulsively buy things you don't need (because they are discounted or because you are bored), give yourself "no" on the second scale (described above).
3. 3 Set long term goals. This is the first step towards self-improvement. Your goal should be clear, specific, and achievable. If a goal is too vague or unmeasurable, it will be difficult for you to determine whether you have made progress towards your goal.
   • For example, the vague purpose associated with food is "eat healthy food." Healthy food is a relative concept, so it can be difficult to know if you've actually switched to eating it. The specific goal is to "lose 10 kg", or "fit into clothes 3 sizes smaller", or even "get rid of the love of sweets."
   • The vague purpose associated with money (spending) is to "handle money better." Such a goal cannot be measured. Specific goals are “to save 10% on every paycheck,” “save $ 3,000,” “pay off credit card debt in full.”
4. 4 Set short term milestones. This is a good way to achieve long-term goals.Short-term goals should be specific and measurable, and they should guide you towards your ultimate long-term goal.
   • For example, if you are trying to lose 10 kg, your first short-term goal would be “lose 2 kg”, “exercise 3 times a week” or “eat sweets no more than 1 time per week”.
   • If you're trying to save $ 3,000, your first short-term goal is to “save $ 500,” “eat at cafes / restaurants no more than 2 times a week,” or “watch movies at home, not at the cinema.”

Part 2 of 4: Delaying Desire Gratification

1. 1 Remember the reward for giving up instant gratification. This is the best way to build willpower. While your goal may be “life building” or “financial stability,” it’s better to come up with specific rewards.
   • For example, if you want to lose weight and regularly give up the instant gratification of the “tasty food,” your reward might be shopping and buying smaller clothes.
   • If you control impulsive spending, as a reward, you can purchase something you need for which you previously did not have enough money. For example, you can buy a new big TV or go on a trip to a tropical island.
2. 2 Suppress the urge to instantly gratify desires. This is the essence of strengthening willpower. When you feel tempted to give in to an impulse, remember that you want instant gratification. If impulsive behavior is contrary to your goals, you are likely to feel guilty if you do satisfy your desire.
   • To counter the impulses of instant gratification of desires, do the following:
     • Admit what you want to do.
     • Tell yourself that you just want to satisfy your desire.
     • Remind yourself of your short or long term goal.
     • Ask yourself if it is worth giving in to the impulse, jeopardizing the achievement of your ultimate goal.
   • For example, you want to lose weight and stand in front of a dish of cookies when visiting.
     • Admit that you want cookies (or even five).
     • Admit that by eating a cookie, you will instantly satisfy your desire.
     • Remind yourself that you want to lose 10 kg, and as a reward, completely renew your wardrobe.
     • Ask yourself if it is worth eating cookies and not buying new clothes as a result (since you will not lose weight).
3. 3 Give yourself small gifts for your progress towards your goal. This will make it easier for you to achieve your goal, since it will take a long time to get a large reward for achieving it, but small gifts for certain steps on the way to the goal can be very effective as "smaller" rewards.
   • For example, if you skipped sweets during the week, you can treat yourself to your favorite treat at the end of the week. Alternatively, you can reward yourself with something unrelated to food, such as a pedicure or massage.
   • If you are in control of impulsive spending, for every $ 500 you accumulate, spend $ 50 on whatever you want.

Part 3 of 4: Monitoring progress

1. 1 Start a Willpower Journal. Write down your attempts to control impulses, including successful and unsuccessful attempts. Be sure to write down everything in detail that will help you assess the situation in the future.
   • For example, you could write, “I ate five buns at a party today. I didn't have lunch, so I got hungry. There were a lot of people at the party and Sally, who made the buns, urged me to eat more buns. "
   • Or write: “Today I went to the mall to buy new jeans for my son, and I resisted buying a new dress even though there was a discount on it. I spent exactly as much as I planned. "
2. 2 Also write down what influenced your decision-making (to give up temptation or satisfy a desire). For example, write down your thoughts, your emotional state, the names of people who have been around you, the places you have been in.
3. 3 Find patterns in your behavior. To do this, analyze several log entries and answer the following questions:
   • Do I make informed decisions when I'm alone or with other people?
   • Are there certain people who influence my impulsive behavior?
   • Are my emotions (anger, joy, etc.) affecting my impulsive behavior?
   • Are there times of day when it is more difficult for me to control my impulses (for example, late at night)?
4. 4 Visualize your progress. This may sound silly, but some people find it easier to understand progress by visualizing it. Find something that allows you to present your progress and stay motivated.
   • For example, if you are trying to lose 10 kg, put a coin in a mug every time you lose 1 kg. The number of coins will give you a specific idea of ​​your progress (how many kilos you have lost).
   • If you're trying to save money, draw a large thermometer and mark the amount you've saved so far on it. Once you get to the top, you will reach your goal.
5. 5 Find the best solution. By analyzing journal entries or simply reflecting on your successes or failures in impulse management, find what works best for you. For example, you may find weekly rewards help you; or you need to visualize progress; or you need to make a daily assessment of your willpower on the scales described above. You may also come to realize that being alone, or with a certain person, or in a particular place, you are not coping well with your desires. Tailor your approach to building your willpower based on your specific situation.

Part 4 of 4: Avoiding Failures or "Correcting Errors"

1. 1 Remember that stress can get in the way of progress. Regardless of your specific goal, stress from work or life events can derail your plans. Try to reduce stress by exercising, getting enough sleep, and resting.
2. 2 Look for ways to avoid temptation. Sometimes the best way to resist temptation is to avoid it. If you feel like you lack the willpower to resist impulsive behavior, then try, for example, avoiding people or places that trigger your impulses. This is not a long-term solution, but it will help you in difficult times or at the very beginning of your willpower development.
   • For example, if you're trying to lose weight, get rid of junk food at home that doesn't match your new eating habits.
   • If you're trying to save a certain amount of money, pay with cash, not a credit card. Or don't carry any money with you at all if you can't handle impulsive spending. If in a certain place (for example, in a shopping center) you find it difficult to resist shopping, do not go there. If you need to buy something at the mall, ask someone to do it.
3. 3 Think if-then to understand how you respond when tempted. You can think of your reactions in advance in certain situations.
   • For example, if you know you are going to a party with a lot of cookies, think like this: "If Sally offers me a cookie, I will politely tell her" no thanks, although they look delicious "and move to another room."
   • If you are trying to control your expenses, think this way: “If I see something in the mall that I really like, I will write down the price and go home. If the next day I still want to buy it, I will ask my husband about it. "
4. 4 See a professional if you think you cannot control your impulses on your own. The specialist will support you and give you concrete suggestions for behavior change.The specialist will also determine if your inner problems are the cause of your impulsive behavior.
   • Some professionals focus on impulse management, and CBT helps people cope with impulsive behaviors and addictions.
   • A method called “desire substitution,” in which negative desire (for example, eating sweets) is replaced by a neutral one (for example, drinking water), can help control impulses and strengthen willpower.