Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Changing Your Point of View
• Part 2 of 3: Caring for Others
• Part 3 of 3: Being Mindful
• Tips
• Warnings

All people need to be a little selfish from time to time. While many elements of our society can encourage selfishness, it hurts other people, sometimes for no personal gain.A selfish person may end up losing friends or loved ones, because no matter how cute and interesting he may be, it can be very difficult to maintain a relationship with him. A truly selfish person will never admit to being selfish. Many people believe that selfishness and pride are good qualities, and that it is for losers to be interested in others' needs more than their own. If you are concerned that you are being too selfish and want to get on the path to gratitude and humility, then see step 1 to get started.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Changing Your Point of View

1. 1 Practice thinking about yourself last. If you're a selfish person, you probably always want to be # 1. You have to change that if you really want to start living a life of joy and freedom from selfishness. The next time you're in line at a buffet or in line for a bus, stop and let other people get what they want first, whether it's food, comfort, or ease. Don't feel like you should get everything first. Remember that other people are as special as you are, and that other people deserve to get what they really want, too.
   • Make it a goal to take a back seat at least three times this week. See how much better you feel when you are not constantly thinking about how to benefit at any given time.
   • Of course, you shouldn't push yourself away all the time, or you may find yourself in a situation where people just use you. But this is good practice if you are still used to being # 1.
2. 2 Put yourself in the other person's shoes. By imagining yourself in the shoes of another person, you can change your life for eternity. Of course, you won't be able to actually do this, but you can put in the effort by thinking about the other people around you and considering how they might feel. Try to think like your mother, your friend, your boss, or a random person on the street. How do they feel before making a decision? You may find that the world is not as transparent as you previously thought. The more you practice empathy and interest in other people's experiences, the sooner you can give up selfishness.
   • For example, before you start yelling at the waitress for not bringing you your order, think about how she might feel. Maybe she’s tired of being on her feet for ten hours in a row, overworked from having to serve too many tables, or she’s just sad about something else; is it really necessary for you to make her feel worse just because you didn't get what you wanted?
3. 3 Remember that you are not more important than anyone else. The selfish person constantly thinks that he is the center of the universe and that the world should revolve around him. You need to discard this thought as a bad habit. Whether you are Madonna or Donna - a hairdresser, you should think of yourself the same way as everyone else. You are no better than others if you have more money, more views, or more talent than the person next to you.
   • Practice being humble and reserved. The world is huge, and this is an absolutely amazing place of which you are a tiny part. Don't think that you deserve more than other people just because it is "you."
4. 4 Don't let your past dictate your future. Let all your friends, colleagues, and neighbors think of you as the most selfish person in the world. You may find it difficult to break out of this pattern or get other people to perceive you as something other than what they expected to see in you. Stop thinking and learn to move forward and become a new person. Of course, other people who know you may be surprised that you are acting selflessly or that you have stopped admiring yourself; it gives you more and more reason to continue to be a selfless person.
   • Other people may question your attempts to do something selfless. This should encourage you to be less selfish more often. Don't give in and think that you were born selfish and that you cannot change.
5. 5 Ask yourself what you want instead of what you need. Selfish people always repeat this mantra: "I want, I want, I want ...", thinking that everything in the world should be theirs, and that they should get every little thing they dream of. Stop and ask yourself if you really need five sweaters, or if you should be the one to choose a movie or restaurant when you're out with your partner. If you dig deep enough, you will find that it is very easy to live without most of the things that you thought were absolutely essential.
   • You will feel good about simplifying your life and giving up some of the things you thought you needed. If you only have one new sweater instead of five, you only worry about losing one sweater.
   • It's a great skill to learn to compromise. You may become more inclined to give in to other people if you find that instead of a lot of similar things, you just really want to have one of them.
6. 6 Enjoy paying attention to others. A selfish person cringes when someone else is in the spotlight because he always wants it for himself. Well, if you want to stop being selfish, then you must not only give up attention, you must enjoy letting other people be in the center. Stop trying to be a bride at every wedding and a corpse at every funeral and let other brides be the center of attention. Be proud of other people when they achieve something, instead of striving to achieve it yourself.
   • Let go of feelings of jealousy or bitterness and enjoy the success of others. If you have always wanted to be the most successful, then ask yourself if there is something in your life that prevents you from being satisfied with what you have achieved without everyone's attention.
7. 7 Listen to criticism. Selfish people always think that their lifestyle is better and that anyone who tries to criticize them is simply trying to harm them or have ulterior motives. Of course, you cannot believe all the criticism in your direction, but if you brain a little, you can see that a lot of people are telling you the same thing. You would like to know how you can become better and change your way, right? If you think that you are perfect and have nothing to work on, then you would not be reading this article.
   • You could even work on your critics' questions instead of just listening to them. It builds strength of character.
8. 8 Make a thank you list. Make it a habit to write down everything you are grateful for every Sunday. Take the time to think about every single thing that makes your life really big. Don't waste all of your time focusing on the things you don't have, or would like to have, or all "if only" things that could ruin your day and your life. Think about what good things are going on with you, starting with your health, your many friends, and feel happy with what you have.
   • Selfish people are never satisfied and always want more, more, more. If you want to stop being selfish, you must feel like you already have enough amazing things. Any extra joy or gifts should come as a bonus.

Part 2 of 3: Caring for Others

1. 1 Approve your friends just like that. By doing a favor to your friends just like that, you can wait for a response from them. Doing favors to friends just because they need help or because they feel good about helping someone else is the right way to go.If you want to stop being selfish, then look for opportunities to help your friends, simply because they need help without any second thoughts. You don't want to be a person with a reputation for helping people only when he wants something from them; it's as bad as not helping at all.
   • Take the time to listen to your friends and see them in action. They may need help, but are too shy to ask for it themselves.
2. 2 Take your time, but really listen. The selfish person is known to be a bad listener. This is because he is too busy talking about his struggles, his problems and his own failures, instead of listening to what his friends have to say. If you are the person who picks up the phone, speaks for half an hour and then says goodbye, then you are clearly not the person who can listen to what other people are saying to you.
   • Any conversation should be 50/50, and if you monopolize each conversation, then you should hone your skills to listen to what they say to you for a while.
   • Selfish people don't care about others, which is why they really take their time to listen to them.
3. 3 Show your interest in people. Listening to people is a great way to show interest in them. Another thing you can do is ask people for their opinion on local news, experiences, children. You don't have to question them to show an occasional interest in human beings. You have to give them the opportunity to see what really cares you, what they think and what they worry about. When people talk, don't just nod your head and wait for your turn to talk, stop and ask questions so it's clear that you are passionate.
   • You can show interest in people without overwhelming them. The next time you talk to someone, speak 20% less and ask more questions than usual and see how it affects your feelings.
4. 4 Volunteer. This will help you open up your world and make you see that there are many people who are much less fortunate than you. You might think that you don't have everything you need until you spend time in the kitchen or teach people to read. You don't have to do this just to feel good, you have to give yourself time to forge meaningful connections with others and see the world outside of you.
   • You may find yourself addicted to helping others. Soon you will stop thinking about all the things that you do not have, because you will be interested in what you can give to other people.
5. 5 Tame your pet. While you may not need to have a pet if you are the person who killed your goldfish, having a pet will make you feel like there is someone whose life depends on you and that you have the power to help. another creature. Go to a shelter and pick a cute kitty or puppy and make him your best friend. You can plan walks with the dog, feed your pet, or just spend some time at home with him. You will see that you will not have time for all these selfish thoughts.
   • Dogs require a lot of responsibility. Taking responsibility, especially in the name of serving others, can help you stop being selfish.
6. 6 Help people you know. When your friends, family, or even your neighbors need support, you must help. Maybe your colleague's someone died, or your neighbor has been sick for several months; take your time to cook them homemade food, call them or give them a map, just ask how you can help.
   • People may be reluctant to talk about what they need, even if they really need help. It's up to you to figure out how you can really help without being intrusive.
7. 7 Learn to share. The selfish person has hated to share since the first rubber duckling.So, it's time to remove this selfish gene from your system. Learn to share your belongings, whether it's half of your sandwich or some of your wardrobe items that your friend needs so badly for their first date. Pick something that you love very much that you would hate to share, and then offer it to your friend. Giving up your possessions can be intimidating, but it's a sure way to be less selfish.
   • Share food. Selfish people hate sharing food. While you should have enough food, ask yourself if you really need that many cookies, or if you can offer it to your friends or roommates.
8. 8 Join a team. Being part of a team is a great way to become less selfish, whether you're on a project for work, for a debate at school, or joining a bowling league on your course. Just being part of a group and learning how to balance the needs of each individual member with the needs of the entire group can help you understand how important it is to let go of some of your selfishness.
   • Becoming the leader of this team means becoming less selfish. You will find that the needs of any group can be more important than the needs of one person, and that some compromise inevitably makes people happy.
9. 9 Stop talking about yourself. Selfish people go further and further by talking about their needs, worries, and desires. The next time you strike up a conversation, notice what percentage of your time you spent talking about yourself. If you feel like everything you said was about you and not about the world around you, and that your friend could barely get a word into your monologue, it's time to change everything.
   • It's okay to ask for advice, talk about your day, and reasonably mention your desires, but it's bad if you see yourself in any social situation. If you have a reputation for talking only about yourself, people will turn their backs on you.
10. 10 Give small gifts. Give small gifts to your friends, loved ones, family members or neighbors as a sign of your love and appreciation. Selfish people hate spending money on others, giving something to others, or admitting that it is time to do something with their mentality, because now, if you are not doing something for yourself, you cannot do something for everyone. Even if your friend's birthday is still far away, don't make up special occasions by giving small gifts. It can put a smile on your friend's face, and in fact, the unexpected gift can make the person even happier than the expected gift.
    • Make it a goal for yourself to make one small gift a month to show people how much you value them. In fact, you will feel better too.

Part 3 of 3: Being Mindful

1. 1 Learn to compromise. If you want to stop being selfish, then you need to learn to give in to people. This means seeing that it is better to be happy than to get what you want, since other people have needs too, and you cannot always get what you want. You don't want to have a reputation for being stubborn that people won't even remember if they have a difficult situation. Learn to listen to people, weigh the pros and cons, and be able to look at a situation from another person's point of view.
   • Don't get hung up on blindly walking your path. Focus on understanding the situation from both sides.
   • Ask yourself, "Who wants this more?" Do you really want this particular thing so badly, or is it just stubbornness for the sake of it? Not everything may be a priority for you.
2. 2 Thank people. Selfish people think they deserve better treatment and deserve to be spoiled.If someone does something good for you, praises you, or gives you a ticket, you should be grateful and thank people for their actions, and not just act as if it is perfectly normal that they want to do you a favor. Don't expect kindness or understanding and be grateful when someone comes to your side.
   • Selfish people think they deserve the best treatment at any time. It's time to stop and think about all those people who really make your life better.
3. 3 Give up control. Selfish people think they should choose every movie, plan their vacation, and choose their own path in school or work project. It's time to take a step back and let others take the plunge. Sure, it can be scary to go and try new Thai food instead of your visit to your favorite Italian restaurant, and you don't want to give too much freedom to Marina in your last talk, but you have to trust that other people know what they are doing and let them. get your way.
   • Giving up control can help you relieve stress and be happy. Think about how much easier your life will be if you are not obsessed with planning every little thing the way you like it.
4. 4 Spend time with non-selfish people. Join others who are kind and respond with kindness. Hanging out with selfish people like you won't help you become a better person. Our behavior is determined by the company with which we communicate. If you spend all of your time with other people who only care about themselves, then yes, you will not become an considerate person. But if you spend time with people who inspire you, you will act less selfishly.
5. 5 Don't interrupt people. Let them finish their thoughts. Remember that your replica can always wait. If necessary (for example, if you need to move away), say "sorry". Selfish people often think that what they have to say is very important and what others say is unimportant, so they can just pop in their two pennies at any time. This is wrong. In fact, your opinion will be much better received if you wait your turn. Plus, you can change your mind if you're actually there to listen to people.
6. 6 Remember birthdays. You will surely hurt someone's pride if you forget their special day. Fortunately, you can always make up for your gap. However, remembering a birthday is more than just remembering a special day. It's about recognizing people as someone special in your life, and it says how much they mean to you.
   • On the other hand, don't be the kind of person who gets too upset if someone forgets their birthday. These things happen, and there is no point in blaming people for not remembering him.
7. 7 Keep in touch with friends, family members, and relatives. Selfish people easily find and lose touch with people because they know they will always come back to them. Don't think that your time is so important that you can't remember your own grandmother's name or spend your lunch break with a friend and then expect him to be at your complete disposal when he needs you. Make time for people just like that.
8. 8 Compliment other people. Don't just tell me who is cool. Take the time to tell the person how great they are, as if you're talking about their sense of style, their personality, or the great decisions they've made recently. Just praise a complete stranger's coat if you're in line. Don't give fake compliments when you suck up to people. Compliments should be said only if the person really deserves them.
9. 9 Don't go out of line. Also, if you see someone on crutches or in a wheelchair, stop and help them rather than just step aside. Nothing is more important than skipping it first. Wait your turn and let other people do the same. Don't act as if what you are doing is so important that five minutes cannot be tolerated.
10. 10 Come on time. If at all possible, call if you know you are running late. The selfish person, as you know, does not care that others are waiting for him if he spends his time on them. Paradoxically, he thinks that his time is so important that no one can ever keep him waiting. So, be polite and treat other people with the respect they deserve.

Tips

• Hug those who need your hugs. Don't hold back tears or emotions because of your ego.
• The changes will take a while, but given that you have behavioral issues, this is a big step.
• Stop judging others; instead, try to learn to understand them.
• Encourage people because everyone needs support.
• Don't hate yourself because you think you can't change. Everything will work out over time.
• Don't think that you will become a saint overnight.
• Use fewer words like "I".
• If there is only one cookie left, and someone else besides you claims it, give it to a competitor or offer to split it in half.

Warnings

• Don't brag about your good deeds. Good deeds and attentiveness should be in the shadows, not bringing glory.
• Don't be rude to people just because you're stressed.