Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Start with self-hypnosis
• Method 2 of 3: Changing Your Reaction
• Method 3 of 3: Realize You Have Choices

People around you constantly use you for their own selfish purposes, and you do not prevent them from doing this? No, this does not mean at all that you are weak. You just don't have enough armor and weapons to defend yourself. There is no need to completely change your personality, but it is time to protect yourself and find internal reserves for this.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Start with self-hypnosis

1. 1 Start pampering yourself more. You can underestimate your own person if someone else does this to you all the time. Respect yourself and know what you really deserve.
   • Give yourself the credit of time to achieve results and think of those who love and trust you.
   • Take care of your physical condition, because there is a healthy mind in a healthy body. Eat a healthy diet and provide your body with the necessary physical activity, as this creates a positive attitude.
2. 2 Move towards the goal until you reach it. When you find yourself in a situation where you are under strong pressure, you need to overcome resistance and always act decisively. Maintain confidence in your abilities and, in the end, you will realize that you have actually achieved what you want.
   • When opening up to the other person, try using more energetic body language. Bring your shoulders back and relax your arms. The biology and psychology of the body changes when your posture exudes confidence. Testosterone levels rise, while cortisol (stress hormone) levels fall.
     • If you know you're going to be going through stress, take two minutes to change your position ahead of time. Get into the superman / superwoman pose or throw your arms and chin up as if you just won a race.
     • If this is happening right now, take a confident posture and do not cross your arms over your chest while touching your neck. Such gestures will diminish your importance, as they are signs of passive defense.
3. 3 Deal with stress. Make stress your ally if your heart starts to jump out of your chest when a bully or manipulator approaches. The body accepts the challenge and prepares itself for the development of the situation by increasing blood pressure. Do not be afraid of the one who wants to manipulate you, because you are strong enough!
   • Research shows that if you view stress as a positive response, your blood vessels will relax during this time, just like when you feel happy and confident. Find positive moments in stressful situations and you will gain courage.
4. 4 Seek support. Trust yourself enough to be able to cope with life's challenges, but remember that you should not face them alone. When you feel used up, ask someone for help. This person will help you look at the situation objectively and provide the necessary support.
   • When communicating with other people, oxytocin is produced, known among neurochemists as the "hug hormone." He is responsible for the emergence of a sense of trust, relaxation and psychological stability, which allows the body to adapt in stressful situations. Therefore, if you are under stress, find someone to support you.
     • This can be a colleague, teacher, parent, or friend.

Method 2 of 3: Changing Your Reaction

1. 1 Teach other people how to treat you the right way. You will show others how to treat you if you react in the same way to the same situation, while showing your real emotions. Over time, people will learn to adapt to your behavior and are less likely to put you into a state of high emotional pressure.
   • Others may simply not understand that they are suppressing you if you do not show your true feelings.
   • If necessary, the manipulators will immediately look for you, since they know for sure that you are not offering resistance. This will stop as soon as you make it clear that you will not allow yourself to be used.
   • Your reaction doesn't have to be aggressive. It should manifest itself in a manner that would satisfy you personally if you were in the place of the supplicant.
2. 2 Set boundaries. If you agree to do what is expected of you, immediately indicate the restrictions. This way you will not be overburdened and the petitioner will remain satisfied. Both sides will benefit.
   • For example, set a time frame if a peer asks for help with homework.
   • Take on a small part of a task if your colleague asks for help with a project, but you still have your backlog of work.
3. 3 Hold your horses. Whenever someone asks you for a favor that is causing you inconvenience, it may well be that you need time to think. This will give you the opportunity to understand if you really want this person.
   • Say "No" if the person requires an immediate response. You can always come back to this conversation and say "Yes" if you find it convenient for you. If you agree immediately, then automatically confirm your participation.
4. 4 Learn to say no. It might sound like a scary word because of its negative connotation, but knowing how to say "No" can help you feel stronger. It also shows others that you and your time are valuable.
   • When you use the word "No", you don't necessarily show aggression, but simply be honest with those around you. You are not trying to offend your opponent, but simply showing that you have other more important things to do.

Method 3 of 3: Realize You Have Choices

1. 1 Make a list of what not to do. By firmly deciding what you can and cannot do, you will take an important step in developing self-confidence and assertiveness. Think about what you are doing for others while feeling used up. You can be used in many more situations than you think.
   • For example, if you always pay the bill, write it down on your "Don't Do" list. Next time, ask a friend to repay the check.
   • Organize the information in a list and constantly check its progress. This list will be easy to follow and still give you satisfaction in the process.
2. 2 Choose a battlefield. If the thought of facing off in a stressful situation terrifies you, start small. You may not be able to confront the bully right away, but you can make small adjustments that will increase your self-confidence.
   • If you ordered a salad and they brought you soup, send it back to the kitchen. Move on to something bigger if you already feel comfortable with self-affirmation in such small situations.
3. 3 Always hope for the best. You’ve already taken failure for granted if you’ve convinced yourself that it’s going to befall you. Your plans should be based on the desire to achieve something, and not on the expectation of imminent failure.
4. 4 Get rid of the negativity. Protect yourself from the bad if you have already made every possible effort to correct the situation. Try to be as far away from the person trying to take advantage of you as possible. Life is too short to put up with people who neglect you.
   • Show courage and remove this person from your life. Being around him brings you nothing but negativity, and it makes the process of building self-confidence very difficult.