Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 2: Learn to Accept Your Fetish
• Method 2 of 2: Communicate about your fetish
• Tips
• Warnings

A fetish is when a person is sexually aroused by certain objects, body parts, or situations that are generally not considered sexual in the conventional sense. A fetish can be anything, and having a sexual fetish is not uncommon. To enjoy it, first recognize that it is a natural part of your sexual desire and learn to openly share your sexual needs with your partner.

Steps

Method 1 of 2: Learn to Accept Your Fetish

1. 1 Define your fetish. A fetish can be sexual desire for anything imaginable. People have fetishes for legs, breasts, arms, fat stomachs, flatulence, amputated limbs, shoes, animals, animal furs, and a thousand other things.To learn to accept your fetish, first identify what turns you on sexually.
   • It is believed that fetish is more common in men than in women, but this estimate is likely to be unreliable. Because men experience erections and subsequent ejaculation, women and gendrkvirs (people whose gender identity is different from male and female) are less commonly identified in research as having a fetish.
   • Fun Fact: At least 1/4 of adult videos made in the US feature fetishes.
2. 2 Find other people who share your fetish. Look for positive psychotherapy centers and online groups that support exploring a wide range of sexual expression. You can type in the search bar of your browser "sex positive" + the name of your fetish. In addition, there are social media communities.
   • The main thing you're looking for is open, honest communication about your fetish. If a website is trying to sell you things or makes you feel ashamed of your fetish, consider moving to another site.
   • Your fetish may be exciting and risky, but it shouldn't put you in real danger. Look for communities that use safer sex behaviors.
   • Online communities can be safe places to ask questions about your fetish or find items related to it.
3. 3 Consider if your fetish is hurting anyone. And while there is nothing wrong with having a fetish, you should never harm another person or yourself. Most of the time, fetishes do not harm other people. And self-harm mostly occurs if you become so obsessed with your fetish that it interferes with your relationship, work, or health.
   • Masturbating for arousal can be a safe way to engage in certain fetishes that may actually harm you (such as sex with animals).
   • If you have a fetish that could cause you or someone else to be physically hurt, learn how to use it safely. Talk to other people in the dedicated community about how to keep safe sexual behavior within the frame of your fetish.
4. 4 Understand that fetishes and quirks are okay. Some researchers believe that fetishes are so prevalent that they should be regarded as part of standard, healthy sexual learning. Knowing that a fetish is okay is an important step. Unless you accept your fetish as a regular part of you, you are unlikely to be able to enjoy it.
   • For many people, it is enough for the fetish object to be present at the beginning of sexual intercourse.
   • The fetish item can be something that must be present before you get sexually aroused, or something that you can already enjoy sex without.
5. 5 Explore your sexuality safely. To enjoy your fetish, remember to keep your sexual behavior safe, reasonable, and consistent. It is important to remember to take care of yourself and your sexual partner, both physically and mentally.
   • Take precautions to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases. You should always use condoms and other protective equipment when needed.
   • Remember that communication is one of the most important parts of sexual intimacy, especially when you are experimenting with something or someone new. Always speak up if you start to feel unsafe and immediately respond to the other person's signs of discomfort.
6. 6 Avoid isolation. It is the most common cause of fetish depression. If you don't find other people on the internet who share your fetish, don't give up. Not every fetish group can be found online. Visuals are good for some fetishes, but not for others.
   • In the modern culture of many countries, certain types of fetishes (for example, diaper fetish) are more taboo than others. If your fetish is banned, you are at a higher risk of isolation and depression.
   • Remember that your sexuality is more than your fetish. While it can be an important contributor to your sexual satisfaction, it is not your identity.
   • Sexual dysfunction can lead to depression. Talking to a practicing sex positive psychologist or psychotherapist can help you find support.

Method 2 of 2: Communicate about your fetish

1. 1 Tell us about your fetish. If you’ve met a new person, you probably should not start this topic on your first date (unless you met on a dating site with special interests). And if you're already in a relationship and would like to share your fetish with your partner, start slowly. Speak about it with approval. Treating your fetish as a normal, safe experience will increase the likelihood that your partner will accept it this way too.
   • Your partner may already be aware of your interests, or they may not.
   • Depending on the dynamics of your relationship, you may want to set aside time for a lengthy conversation about fetish.
2. 2 Do not hurry. It may take some time and privacy for your partner to process the new information. Don't expect immediate understanding (although it may happen)! Better follow your partner. Let him figure out your fetish at his own pace.
   • Don't be ashamed. If you feel ashamed, you will send mixed signals to your partner and it will hurt your self-esteem. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
   • You don't need to defend your fetish in front of anyone, so don't get into a defensive posture. Having a fetish is normal and natural.
3. 3 Listen with understanding. Remember that you've already come to accept your fetish, and it probably didn't happen right away. Now your partner has the opportunity to do this too. Perhaps he will reveal his fetishes or sexual interests. Allowing yourself to openly listen to his concerns, questions, and reactions can strengthen your relationship.
   • If your partner refuses to talk about your fetish, give him time. Maybe he just needs to think it over, or maybe he refuses to admit it.
   • Some people may feel embarrassed about discussing fetishes. Never be forced to talk about it.
4. 4 Ask questions. Your partner may not know how to ask questions about your fetish. You can show support by doing it instead. This way you can find out more about his fears or curiosity about your fetish. Don't feel like the questions should come from your partner.
   • Show him some information on the internet that he can further explore on his own.
   • Remember, he may not know how to verbalize his thoughts and feelings about your fetish. It will take time, but you can help by asking your own questions.
5. 5 Share photos, images or videos of your fetish. This will help your partner understand what you want. Perhaps after viewing the photos, your partner will view your fetish as something normal and not weird and intimidating.
   • If you find a support group, chances are you will find ways to educate your partner about your fetish.
   • Sometimes you can even find a group for people new to the business that can be a resource for your partner to learn more about your fetish.
6. 6 Never impose your fetish on someone else. Consent is essential for a healthy relationship. If you and your partner have different sexual needs, be aware of this and look for alternatives.
   • A therapist or psychologist can help you get through this fracture in your relationship.
   • Most psychologists who practice sex positivity help adapt attitudes to the needs of the person with the fetish, rather than working to eliminate the fetish itself.

Tips

• If you and your partner are uncomfortable talking about your fetish, consider consulting with a sex-positive psychologist.

Warnings

• If your fetish is illegal or harmful to others, seek help from a therapist or psychologist.
• If you are very anxious about your fetish, you may want to talk to a psychologist or therapist. Paraphilia is a psychological disorder with a list of 8 manifestations. A fetish is considered a psychological disorder only if it causes suffering to a person or harms others.