Content

• Steps
• Tips
• Warnings

It's often very difficult to apologize, although we have to do it from time to time. Apologizing is an important skill in both your professional and personal life. However, many live their lives without knowing how to do it. Fortunately, this is not impossible. In this article, we'll show you step by step how to apologize to someone.

Steps

1. 1 Understand what makes you feel guilty. When apologizing, it is important to know what you are apologizing for. If you do not understand what your fault is, at least this will lead to misunderstandings, and in the worst case, you will offend the person even more. Emotions often distort the perception of facts, so ask people who are not related to the conflict from the outside to evaluate the situation and express their opinion. Think about your actions after you calm down: did you respect the interlocutor, was there logic in your words and actions? If you were driven by anger, was it justified?
   • If you have not stopped communicating with the person you have offended, you can ask them to tell you what they think is the cause of the conflict. Perhaps his answer will surprise you, because his version may be different from yours.
2. 2 Consider an apology. An apology should be sincere and understandable, because crumpled, stereotyped phrases can only offend a person even more. Even if you are very busy and think the conflict is small, take the time to make a personal apology. Take the person to whom you want to apologize to a quiet room without unnecessary people and apologize there so that no one can interfere with you.
   • If for some reason you cannot tell the person everything in person, call him. The same rules apply here: set aside time, postpone other calls, etc. You can also write a thoughtful, sincere letter and send it by e-mail or in an envelope. It is worth resorting to SMS only as a last resort, when there are no other ways to contact a person.
3. 3 Express your thoughts clearly and clearly. Avoid ambiguity and do not fuss. Do not use phrases like "I thought things would turn out differently" or "we had a misunderstanding" - with these remarks you will absolve yourself of responsibility. Just start talking; say that you are sorry and ask for forgiveness at the very beginning of your speech. This can help you prove that you really feel guilty and want to be forgiven, even if your apology is not accepted.
   • This can be surprisingly difficult. It is always difficult to admit your mistakes, because it emphasizes the imperfection of the person. However, this the only one a way to apologize if you're serious.
4. 4 Watch your body position, gestures and facial expressions. They should talk about your repentance. Everyone shows emotions in different ways - some have everything written on their faces, others look as if they don't feel anything. If you are one of those people whose emotions are difficult to read, use body language to convey your words to the other person. You don't have to appear cocky, indifferent, or annoyed. Look the person in the eye and speak in a calm, even voice. You should stand or sit with your eyes on the same level. Your posture should be natural - do not humiliate the person with aggressive postures (for example, do not hang over the person or protrude your chest).
5. 5 Listen. In any conflict, there are always at least two sides, even if only you are to blame. You should have a dialogue. Allow the person to voice their dissatisfaction, and listen to them with respect and attention.
   • Keep looking into your eyes. Nod, answer questions, and comment on accusations. Also, do not lose your composure or interrupt the person - this can exacerbate the situation and lead to aggravation of the conflict.
6. 6 Say that you are ready to change. An important part of any apology is a promise to behave differently in the future (for example, not to allow falling-out behavior; quitting bad habits, changing your point of view). If you don't want at least to attempt change, your apology will sound insincere, that is, in fact, you will say that you are very sorry about what happened, but not enough to do anything about it. Promise to make other decisions in the future, and don't break your promise. If you really care about the person you apologize to, you will want to change anyway.
   • Old habits are difficult to eradicate. Promising is one thing, but doing is another. We've all been through this: first you promise to change, and then you make the same mistake. Remember that if you stumble, you will have to apologize again, and the endless number of apologies that go nowhere can ruin or even end a relationship.
7. 7 You can give something to a person as a sign of reconciliation. You can make a modest gift that will relieve you of the atmosphere of hostility. However, it is important to remember that no gift, no matter how expensive, can replace a sincere apology, so choose something inexpensive and discard extravagant ideas.Do not try to appease the interlocutor - if you manage to buy his forgiveness with a gift, this will indicate that your relationship has never been real and honest.
   • Do not give gifts with practical jokes and things that have a sexual connotation. Present something small and personal that the person will definitely like. A small bouquet with a note will do (don't give roses unless you're romantically involved). Do not give money in any way - only mafiosi do this when they need to settle some issue.
8. 8 Tell the person what the situation looks like from your side. After you are forgiven (and only then), you can begin soft explain to the person what led to your mistake. Don't try to justify yourself - you hurt the person anyway. Just explain to him why it happened. This may require new apologies: for making a mistake, for making a mistake, or for letting your emotions get the best of you. Listen to the person's comments on your lines, try to understand his arguments.
   • Do not under any circumstances try to absolve yourself of responsibility. Works best explanation, but not justification.
9. 9 Work on rebuilding the relationship with the person you hurt. A sincere apology and a desire to change will help you. Chances are, the relationship won't go back overnight, unless your wrongdoing was serious. When enough time has passed for the person you hurt to trust you again, try to mend the relationship. Go back to the things you did together that assumed there was trust between you.
   • Give the person time. Even if your apology is accepted, the offended person will take time to figure out how to treat you, and most likely it will take more than a day before he begins to communicate with you as before. Even if you barely talk to each other right now, or your relationship is still strained, wait a week, a month, or longer if the situation calls for it.
10. 10 Know when to not apologize. Oftentimes, people unreasonably expect to receive an apology. For example, if you are asked to apologize for something that is not your fault, do not give in. If you have reflected on past events and come to the conclusion that the other party is actually to blame, you will need to discuss this with the second person. Finally, if you are sure that the other person is trying to put you under emotional pressure, not only should you not apologize - you should seek help from a friend or therapist.
    • Usually, deep down, a person understands whether he was right. Let the situation settle down and reflect on what happened. If you don’t feel guilty, but you’re still looking for an excuse (for example, you didn’t want to do what you did, or you think the person who is expecting an apology is too emotional), consider whether you really should apologize.

Tips

• Do not repeat the mistake.
• Give the offended person some time before following the tips in this article. Friendship is a relationship that requires hard work on both sides.
• Never give food, drinks, or flowers that your friend might be allergic to. This will only exacerbate an already unpleasant situation.

Warnings

• If you come too early to apologize, the person will still be under the influence of negative emotions.