How to get rid of the sense of ownership towards your partner

Video: The difference between healthy and unhealthy love | Katie Hood

Content

Steps
Method 1 of 3: Keeping Calm
Method 2 of 3: Building Trust in Relationships
Method 3 of 3: Preventing future possessive behavior
Tips
Warnings

Being in a relationship can be exciting and amazing. You may have a strong bond with someone you care about and for whom you care. However, from time to time, you may experience feelings of jealousy or self-doubt that will create problems in your relationship. Perhaps you will begin to notice that you are interrogating your partner, accusing him of something and behaving like an owner, without wanting to. Fortunately, this can be avoided. All you need is to stay calm at some point, build trust in the relationship, and prevent future possessiveness.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Keeping Calm

1 Take a break. If you feel like you’re overwhelmed by a sense of ownership, it’s a good idea to take a break and evaluate your behavior. Taking a break will allow you to think about what you are doing, why you are doing it, and how it might affect your relationship.
- For example, if you are in a restaurant with your partner and you notice that you are getting jealous because the waiter / waitress is smiling at you two, go to the toilet or outside for a while.
- If you can't leave, give yourself a mental break. Take three deep, slow breaths and during this time concentrate only on your breath.
- Use this time to ask yourself why this situation is triggering your possessive instinct. For example: “Am I jealous? Am I insecure? Why do I feel this way? "
2 Express your feelings appropriately. It's okay to be a little jealous or insecure from time to time. It's also okay to share your feelings with your partner, as long as you do it right. Expressing and explaining your emotions in a calm, adult manner can dull your sense of ownership.
- Describe your feelings to your partner and explain why they arise.
- Tell your partner what they can do to help you deal with these feelings.
- For example, try saying the following: “Right now, I have some sense of ownership towards you. It's silly, but I feel like I'm jealous of the attention you get. "
3 Apologize if necessary. Sometimes your possessive impulses can burst out before you can stop yourself. If this happens, you need to apologize to your partner and any other people involved in the situation.
- For example, if you were rude to the seller because he greeted your soul mate, then you need to ask for forgiveness from both him and your loved one.
- When apologizing, you can say, “I'm sorry for the way I behaved now. It was inappropriate and will not happen again. ”
- If you need to apologize, you can start by saying, “I need to apologize for my behavior.There is no excuse for what happened. ”

Method 2 of 3: Building Trust in Relationships

1 Deal with relationship problems. Sometimes a sense of ownership can manifest itself due to events that have happened that have shaken the stability of the relationship. If this is your case, then you need to discuss this issue with your partner. This way you can solve the problem. After all, when you understand at what level your relationship is, you will become less obsessed with your soul mate.
- Tell your partner that you want to talk to them about some common relationship difficulties. You might say, "Can we talk about the problems we've faced lately?"
- Have an open and honest conversation about your concerns.
- Remember that some issues, such as past cheating, may take more than one conversation and a certain amount of time to resolve. Leaving everything to chance will only add to your current lack of trust.
2 Trust your partner. One of the keys to a successful relationship is trust. You must trust that your partner cares about you and that he is honest with you. And he, in turn, should feel the same in relation to you. The problem of over-possessiveness is partly due to the fact that you are giving your partner a message that you do not trust him. Control him less by trusting his feelings and behavior.
- Trust your partner when he talks about where he is going or what he will do. You don't need to check it to make sure it is correct.
- Believe what your partner tells you. If you do not have the facts proving his dishonesty, you should believe his words.
- Believe in your partner's feelings for you. Believe that you are as important to him as he says about it.
3 Respect your partner. One of the problems with possessiveness is that your actions can express disrespect for your soul mate, yourself, or others. You can say or do something that is offensive, arrogant, or offensive. If you try to show your partner the respect he deserves, you will have less control over him, you will build a strong relationship.
- Speak respectfully to or about your partner. Do not yell or yell at him, otherwise you will inadvertently say something that will offend or upset him.
- Respect his personal space. Do not rummage through his belongings and do not read his correspondence without permission. This behavior most often leads to misunderstandings.
4 Talk to your partner. After realizing that you are behaving like an owner, and you decide to change this, discuss with your partner what happened. This will help you stop your jealousy and possessive behavior.
- Say that you understand that you have been acting like a proprietor lately. For example: “Can we talk? I know that my behavior has been too possessive lately. ”
- Explain your feelings and why they arose. Try saying, "I was jealous because of bad experiences in past relationships."
- Also listen to your partner. It should be a dialogue, not a monologue. You need to understand how your behavior affected your soul mate.

Method 3 of 3: Preventing future possessive behavior

1 Be honest with yourself. The very realization that you are behaving like an owner is one of the first steps towards getting rid of it. You also need to honestly admit to yourself why you feel it and why you are behaving this way. This will help you deal with any problems you have that make you want to possess your partner completely.
- Ask yourself if this behavior is related to something that has happened to you in the past. For example, did your ex-partner leave you for someone else? Or did you grow up in a family where cheating happened?
- Determine if there is something in your partner's actions that makes you want to control him. Does he often flirt with others?
- Face it and admit all your self-esteem and self-confidence issues. Do you think you are unattractive or that your partner is too good for you?
2 Be confident in yourself. Sometimes we give in to the possessive instinct when we feel insecure. You may feel like you don't deserve to be around your partner. If you believe that possessive behavior is related to self-doubt or self-doubt, work on your self-esteem to limit your spouse less.
- Keep a journal or list of all your best qualities. Write everything from beautiful eyes to having a sense of humor or love for anime.
- Talk to yourself in a positive way. For example, look in the mirror and say: “I am just a huge find and Katya is lucky that she has me. As well as I am lucky that I have Katya ”.
- Write down compliments or actions from your partner that demonstrate that they care about you.
3 Take care of yourself. It's much easier to get jealous or possessive if you're tired, hungry, stressed, or simply not feeling well. You simply do not have the moral or physical strength to resist jealous thoughts or possessive behavior. You can cope with this if you devote enough time to your health.
- Eat balanced, healthy foods to ensure your body receives the nutrients and energy it needs.
- Get physically active on a regular basis. This will help reduce stress levels, and you can stay calm if you start feeling jealous or possessive.
- Aim to get 6-8 hours of sleep every night. Establish a regular sleep schedule to get the rest you need.
4 Get professional help. If possessive behavior begins to cross boundaries, you risk harming the relationship and causing your partner (and yourself) emotional, psychological, or even physical pain. If your partner or someone else says you need to loosen your grip, take this as a warning and seek professional help.
- A psychologist can help you determine why you are behaving this way and how to stop it.
- If you are in a religious community, you can discuss this with your spiritual guide. You might say, “Could we talk a little later about my relationship problems? I feel like I'm controlling my partner too much. ”
- A family counselor will also help you and your partner deal with any relationship issues.