Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 4: Set boundaries
• Method 2 of 4: Treat Children as Individuals
• Method 3 of 4: Make Time for Your Nephews
• Method 4 of 4: Choose the Right Gifts
• Tips

Every aunt and every uncle wants a good relationship with their beloved nephews. As adults who find it unnecessary to punish children, uncles and aunts can be great companions and even playmates with parental wisdom. However, you need to get close to your nephews so as not to offend your sister or brother, who are the child's parents. There is a fine line between friendship with a nephew and adhering to the rules and values ​​of his parents. Be a responsible, reasonable person and stick to some rules - and you will definitely play an important role in the lives of your nephews, while still being friends with them.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Set boundaries

1. 1 Talk to your brother or sister about your relationship with your children. Perhaps they expect that you, like the parents, will act as a kind of mentor for the child. Of course, it is very important to be a mentor for your child, but it is also important that his parents know that your relationship with your child is not limited to purely parental communication. Be honest about what kind of relationship you would like to build with your child, what role you want to play in his life, and what responsibilities you want to take on.
2. 2 Before spending time with your nephews, find out if the family has any special rules so you don't accidentally break them. There are a few key questions to ask your nephews' parents in advance.
   • When does the baby go to bed?
   • Are there any dietary guidelines and meal times, and does the child have any health problems that are important to keep in mind?
   • When spending time with children, do you need to be especially attentive to certain aspects of the child's misbehavior?
3. 3 It is important to understand and accept the rules and values ​​of the parents, even if you disagree with them. Some parents may be religious (unlike you) or the situation may be the opposite. Regardless of whether these rules and values ​​seem difficult to understand or controversial, if they are about the health and safety of children, they must be followed.
4. 4 If you feel that at some point the child's parents are unfair, do not be afraid to nudge them a little to make the right decision. Some parents are overbearing, they set rules that are too strict, or they punish their children for no particular reason. If you think that parents are being too hard on children, gently ask them if their rules are really necessary, are they really acting in the best interests of the child?

Method 2 of 4: Treat Children as Individuals

1. 1 Don't patronize them. Whether they are children or teenagers, both are actually much more discerning than we think. Try to bring up some adult topics during the conversation. Obviously, these topics do not include stories that feature alcohol and the like. Don't assume that your nephews' minds are completely enslaved by social media and video games.
   • For example, listen to them if they have their own opinion about a particular candidate for political office.
   • If your child asks questions that you think are too in-depth for their age, try to find a way to explain everything correctly.For example, a child might ask, "Why are leaves falling to the ground?" In this case, you can answer: “Heavy things attract less heavy things. Our Earth is very large and heavy, so it attracts objects with its weight ”.
2. 2 Communicate with your child as if you are on the same level. When discussing something, try to take your nephew's opinion seriously and listen to him as if you were talking to an adult. If other adults start discussing something, not allowing the children to speak, do not forget to give your nephew the opportunity to express his opinion - this will show that you treat him as an equal.
3. 3 Focus on the child's age. Find a balance between talking about adults and keeping parental boundaries. If the children are still very young, it is worth avoiding controversial topics (such as religion, politics, violence in the news). Remember, you can chat like adults, even if you are just discussing your favorite TV show.

Method 3 of 4: Make Time for Your Nephews

1. 1 Teach them useful life skills that will stay with them for years to come. Whether it's fishing, woodworking, or playing the guitar, teach your child useful skills that will benefit them. This activity has a dual purpose: quality time together and learning, which are usually so appreciated by parents.
2. 2 Instead of gifts, give them important experiences and impressions! It is believed that a cool uncle and a cool aunt give their nephews extravagant gifts, but if you choose these gifts to be active together, you will show that you really want to spend time with them. Go on a hike with them, go somewhere or just go on a picnic - you will give them memories and new experiences that, of course, surpass the experience of a simple gift.
3. 3 Be there when your child is in the spotlight. Children and adolescents often participate in various activities (like sports games, concerts and performances in high school, dance performances). These activities may seem insignificant to you, but they certainly play an important role in the lives of your nephews. Stay close at times like this to show your nephews and their parents that you want to be a part of their life, and not just show up occasionally on holidays.

Method 4 of 4: Choose the Right Gifts

1. 1 Don't be afraid to buy something ridiculous. Sure, gifts don't play a key role in getting kids to perceive you as a cool uncle or a cool aunt, but gifts definitely help. For example, if you give your niece something wonderful and cool, you can not only express your personality, but also demonstrate a good sense of humor.
2. 2 Think about their interests. Even when you buy something unusual, try to somehow connect this gift with the interests of the child. For example, if he enjoys fishing, a talking wall bass would be a cool gift. And if your niece enjoys comedy shows, you can gift her a collection of silent comedies that you enjoyed when you were younger.
3. 3 Remember to use common sense. Your gifts, no matter how funny and funny they are, should not go beyond parental values. A gift that is too offensive or vulgar will embarrass your nephews and make their parents question your intentions. Perhaps because of this, you will even be limited in spending time together.
   • It is important to know what moral principles your nephews' parents adhere to in order to decide what gifts will be acceptable. Are their parents strict about movies and TV shows with controversial and challenging contexts? Then it may be better to choose classic good cartoons, rather than a modern provocative film.
   • Try to give gifts that can become a new hobby for the child.For example, it could be a magic trick book, a crystal growing kit, or a DIY volcano kit.
   • Better yet, craft gifts with your nephews. For example, you can easily make together some clay figurines, a house slime, or a collage of drawings or photographs that you can hang on the wall as a reminder of how to have fun with your uncle or aunt.

Tips

• Don't make excuses when your child's parents start lecturing you or talking about something while you are spending time with your nephews. Nobody is perfect, and it is very important that the child's parents feel they can talk to you if they think it is necessary.
• Be responsible. If you are planning an outing but know that your nephew has to get home at a certain time, make sure you can adjust to his schedule and not yours.
• Remember that you are a mentor first and a friend second. It's great to be casual and fun with your nephews, but remember that your primary responsibility is to take care of your child's safety and health, even if that involves some discipline and authority.