Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 6: What is an ideal?
• Part 2 of 6: Cultivating Your Personality
• Part 3 of 6: Facilitating Relationships
• Part 4 of 6: Taking care of your appearance
• Part 5 of 6: Achieving Ambition
• Part 6 of 6: Accept yourself
• Warnings

Self-development is a lifelong project. What you do and how you do it will help you become “perfect”. Perhaps you are inspired by a specific woman or certain qualities of different women, you can strive for self-improvement by working on external and internal characteristics and living your life where you have a purpose.

Steps

Part 1 of 6: What is an ideal?

1. 1 Analyze your role models. Think about the women you think are “perfect”. List their qualities that you admire. Consider what they have done in life, their approach to life, their philosophy of life, their accomplishments, their personality traits, their looks and sense of style. What do they all have in common?
   • Think about women you know in real life, celebrities or historical figures.
2. 2 Recognize your strengths. Think about the current state of your life: what you are doing, what education you are getting, what kind of work you do, your relationships with others, your physical health. Consider your personality as well. Make a list of what you are most proud of. Try to come up with examples that prove that you are.
   • For example: “I am a good daughter. I call my parents every day / every week and talk to them calmly, even when I have little time. ”
   • “I'm diligent. I always do my work to the best of my ability, never put things off and carefully check the level of my work. ”
   • “I have great hair. They are long, soft and shiny. "
   • Your list of strengths and evidence will be subjective - these are your unique qualities.
3. 3 Write a working definition of an ideal. Of all your strengths, which do you consider ideal? Think about your excellence and the excellence of your role models, and write a few sentences or make a list of what you think will make you the perfect woman. What does it look like? What goals do you need to achieve in order to be perfect? What behaviors, attitudes or values ​​do you need to instill in yourself?
   • Avoid the words “always”, “never”, “should” (for example: “I should always speak in a polite tone”). Such words create unrealistic expectations and cause feelings of guilt and frustration if they are not satisfied.
   • The definition of the ideal woman applies to you: the exercise is not about being exactly like another woman. Rather, it is needed to help you determine your ideal version of yourself.
4. 4 Become aware of your points of growth. List your current traits that you think are holding you back from being perfect. Every person, even the “ideal” one, has some points that can be viewed as negative. Remember that it is the harmonious mixture of positive and negative that creates "perfection" in a person.
   • Be extra careful if any of the women you think are ideal is a celebrity or someone you only interact with through social media. Personal pages on social networks are created in order to reflect only what a person wants to open. Photos can be edited and people choose to post only the best parts of their lives. Social media profiles are only fragments of people's lives, and this is a slightly distorted version of reality.

Part 2 of 6: Cultivating Your Personality

1. 1 Expand your interests. Strive for knowledge in a variety of topics or areas of art. It is impossible to know for sure what other talents are hidden in you. Check out what clubs or societies are offered in your area where you can connect with others that can inspire or teach you. You may find that you are good at cooking or making wood products. If you want, start with what you've always wanted to know better, but you never had time to do it. Perhaps you've always wanted to develop your photography skills or re-read English literature.
   • Dedicate part of your day to these activities. Remember this should be fun for you. You will have something to look forward to, which will not cause you stress.
   • Not every new hobby will necessarily require going out or spending money. Search for documentaries or videos to watch online.
2. 2 Show a positive perspective. Look actively for the positive aspects in every situation and in every person. Remember that “positive” does not always mean “good”. The instructive outcome of a negative situation is a “positive” aspect, but it does not make your situation “good”: you have the right to view things as negative and bad. However, people gravitate towards those who show a positive attitude towards life situations. Your sunny disposition will encourage others to be cheerful as well.
   • Ask yourself, what can I learn from this situation? What can I do differently next time to prevent this outcome? What did I get from this?
   • When you have a negative opinion of a person, you begin to notice things in him that only confirm your opinion, and ignore any evidence to the contrary. If you find yourself thinking badly about another person, deliberately think of examples that will dispel your negative opinion. Or think about the reasons that may have caused him to behave in a way you didn't like. Was this person tired or hungry? Perhaps he misunderstood the situation?
   • Make a special effort to cheer other women up. In the company of other women, it is easy to find a competitive attitude as you strive to be the “ideal woman”. Be above this pettiness and support other women instead of trying to sabotage them. A simple example: if an employee you don't really like asks if you know the deadline for a specific project, don't sabotage her, we'll give the wrong date. Or if another woman asks you for a recipe for a dish you brought to a shared dinner, don't skip the recipe ingredients or use a different proportion than what you used. Support other women.
3. 3 Develop your social skills. When interacting with other people, stop and think about what you are going to say or do. Make a quick assessment of the various consequences of possible actions. You will need to practice putting yourself in situations where social skills are required. Learn more about body language to better understand the condition of others. Learn more about emotions to better understand how they are expressed.
   • Identify your points of growth by analyzing your own behavior. Is it difficult for you to maintain eye contact? Do you speak too quickly or too loudly when you are nervous? Are you standing too close to people when you talk to them? Interrupting others when they speak? Is it difficult for you to refuse a person?
   • Ask a trusted friend / family member to be honest, without hurting your feelings, about the communication skills you need to work on. Friends often notice in our behavior what we ourselves cannot notice. Just be sure to ask someone with advanced social skills.
   • Choose one or two skills to work with at a time. When you make significant progress with them, move on to other skills.
   • You can ask a friend to role-play with you or practice in front of the mirror.
4. 4 Control your emotions. Learn to recognize the sensations that emotions evoke in your body. Pay active attention to how you feel during the day. If you are feeling annoyed, angry, or any other negative emotion, try to identify the source of that emotion. Take a closer look at your thoughts. What are you thinking about that makes you feel so? Understand that just because you thought about something does not mean that the thought is true. You should also not pour out your negative feelings on others.
   • If you feel like you’re about to fall off, take a few deep, soothing breaths. Inhale slowly through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. If you can, distance yourself from the situation: leave the room and find a quiet place. If you can't get away, try drinking a glass of cold water or sitting down. This will help you calm down.
   • Emotions are not essentially negative, wrong, or bad. Process your emotions regularly by journaling or discussing events in your life with someone you trust. Keeping your emotions to yourself increases your stress levels and doesn't help you solve problems.

Part 3 of 6: Facilitating Relationships

1. 1 Keep your promises. Remember, even if you said you would do something without adding the word “I promise,” it still counts as a promise. If you said you would do something, do your best to deliver on what you promised. If you realize that you won't be able to do this, let the person know in advance and apologize, explaining why you can't keep your promise. This behavior will show that you are a reliable and honest person.
   • Set alarm reminders on your phone or organizer so you can keep track of your commitments. Estimate how long it will take you to complete the promised task.Set reminders ahead of schedule so that you have enough time to gather the resources you need to complete the task.
2. 2 Be proactive. Make an effort to be the first to reach out to people and stay connected. Be aware of all the upcoming events they mention. Later ask them how it went. In this era of employment, people appreciate it when others are the first to take the initiative in communication. Use any method of communication, but remember that a meeting in real life or talking on the phone will always be better than communication on the Internet.
   • Surprise a friend or family member with a phone call.
   • Keep track of people's anniversaries and birthdays.
   • Do your best to show your gratitude to someone who has done something good for you. Say thank you, send a small thank you gift, or try to do something nice for the person in return.
   • Schedule calls to family and friends who live far away from you. You may not be able to do this every day or every week. Set aside one hour over the weekend that you can devote to communication with those who are not present in your daily life, but who are very important to you.
3. 3 Avoid gossip. Speak well of other people behind their backs. Do not complain about them, do not spread gossip or lies. If someone in your company starts to gossip, either ask them to stop directly or direct the conversation in a different direction.
   • • "Let's not talk about her like that."
     • "Let's talk about something else."
     • "How is your project progressing?"
   • This does not mean that you are not allowed to discuss negative events. You can talk about things that concern you directly and discuss events if you are worried about the other person or are trying to understand what happened.
4. 4 Be reliable and affordable. Make time for family and friends. Be sure to maintain a balance between work / school and social life. Set boundaries for yourself: Make time in your daily schedule when you will deal with work-related issues and the time you will spend with family and friends. Keep all the secrets that have been entrusted to you, if someone else brings up this topic, pretend that you do not know anything about it.
   • Take the time to stay on top of what's going on in the lives of close friends and family. Just like you need people you can rely on, and you need to be close to loved ones when you need it.

Part 4 of 6: Taking care of your appearance

1. 1 Develop an active lifestyle. Being active throughout the day and week will give you tremendous benefits, both physically and mentally. An active lifestyle is a great way to keep your body in top shape (as opposed to the occasional big burst of activity). Try to get 30 minutes of aerobic exercise a day. Your heart rate should rise, but not enough to make it difficult for you to speak during exercise.
   • You don't have to spend a lot of money to stay in good physical shape. A gym membership isn't the only way to stay healthy. Although this is certainly a good option. Consider joining an amateur sports team, or asking a friend or family member to accompany you on your daily run. Look for a variety of fitness expert videos and blogs for your reference.
   • Be sure to check the track record of the “expert” whose recommendations you want to follow. Check out the training, certification and qualifications on his website. You don’t want to follow the advice of someone who only pretends to be an expert, because this can ultimately lead to injury.
   • If you are not used to being physically active, it will take time for you to develop your endurance. Keep moving forward!
2. 2 Develop your own sense of style. Experiment with different hairstyles, makeup and clothing styles. Use your role models as a starting point for your sense of taste. If any of them is a fashion designer or celebrity, check out her recent photos to see what style she prefers now.
   • Watch online tutorials to learn about different makeup styles. Makeup not only enhances your natural beauty, it can also be used to create looks that highlight your favorite features, such as big eyes or a thin nose.
   • Stay within your budget. Don't waste your time trying to buy samples of all the cosmetics that your role model has. It is better to buy simple and cheap analogs of high-brand cosmetics. Look at your role model just for inspiration. Fashion is constantly changing, and your style will always be yours.
3. 3 Follow your skin and hair care procedures. Experiment with different natural skin and hair masks to see which ones work best for you. They can often be made from ingredients you already have in your kitchen. Search online for ingredients that suit your skin type and condition.
   • Even with a homemade mask, a skin test needs to be done.
   • In the long run, store-bought masks can be a more economical option: homemade masks can deteriorate much faster. Only buy skin care products that have been tested on human skin and are made by reputable companies.
   • See a board-certified dermatologist if you have problem skin. A dermatologist can advise you on which creams and products are best for you and can tailor your skincare routine for you.
4. 4 Improve your posture. Make sure you sit with your back straight. When standing, keep your chin straight, shoulders lower and back, back straight, toes and heels aligned. Your spine should form a natural S-curve. If this position is painful for you, you may be straining too much or have back problems. In this case, you need to visit a therapist. If you need to lift something off the floor, bend your knees rather than bend over to pick up the object. This will prevent back injuries. Stretch regularly if you find that any muscles are too tight and interfere with your posture.
   • Looking in the mirror will help you develop correct posture. When you see that you are in the correct position, try to analyze how it feels in your body so that you know how to correct your posture when you cannot see yourself in the mirror.
   • How you present yourself is a testament to how you feel about yourself and the people around you.
   • Correct posture will also help improve and maintain health and reduce the likelihood of fatigue.

Part 5 of 6: Achieving Ambition

1. 1 Define your goals. Think about what you want to achieve in the long term. Think about your educational, career, and family goals. Break your goals down into sequential steps, thinking about which goals you will need to achieve first in order to keep moving forward. Apply this principle to all of your goals: break them down into smaller steps. Make goals specific, measurable, achievable, and time-bound. This will help you measure your progress and prevent you from feeling frustrated if you don't reach goals that were unrealistic to begin with.
   • If you are particularly inspired by their role models and want to achieve something similar to what they achieved, read their bio. Look at their stages of development and how they reached them. Some of this information may not be readily available and you will have to do your own research.For example, if you want to break into the cosmetics industry, you will have to research different ways to do it. Contact your local makeup artist or makeup contact for further advice.
   • Sometimes plans don't come true exactly as we want them to, because of circumstances over which we have no control, or because something else inspires you along the way. It's okay, find another way to achieve your goal. Consider potential obstacles in your plan. If you read the story of your role model, you will find that things did not always go smoothly for her.
   • Consider setting aside half a day to jot down your long-term plan.
2. 2 Collect resources. Make a list of what you need to achieve your goals. Calculate how much your resources will cost you. The amount of money you spend will depend on the scale of your goal. Check your budget and see if there are any ways to keep costs down. Consider buying used items or renting them instead of buying. For example, if you have a low budget and want to get an education, consider buying used textbooks. If your goal is a large-scale project that you cannot afford, such as a bakery, consider taking out a loan or asking family members for financial assistance.
   • Research your options online, or seek advice from those seeking to achieve similar goals on how they financed themselves or found the resources they needed. Try not to let the lack of resources hold you back.
3. 3 Ask for help. There may be something that you need to achieve, but it will be beyond your experience. Ask others to help you where it will be difficult for you to achieve your goal or where they have knowledge that will be very useful to you. Such people can show you new ways of acting and pass these skills on to you. For example, if you want to try to take the CFA (Chartered Financial Analyst) exam but are not sure how to approach the material, ask the one who scored high on that exam to help you with self-directed learning tips.
   • You can ask close friends or family members, or involve outside sources. Look for people who are knowledgeable in the field that interests you.
   • Remember to say thank you and show them your gratitude by doing something good for them or helping them out when they need help.
4. 4 Carry out your plan. Start doing it now. Track your progress. Since your goals have deadlines, you will have a specific timetable to follow to help you understand if everything is going according to plan. Sometimes things that you did not take into account can happen, and delays can occur in the plans. Don't take this as an excuse to give up. This does not mean that you are not making any progress. Find solutions to your problems and incorporate them into your plans. Remind yourself that your goal is to make you and your life perfect.
   • Tell people you trust about your plans. Ask them for moral support and encouragement.

Part 6 of 6: Accept yourself

1. 1 Accept that you will always have flaws. Even the women on your list of “ideal women” will have flaws. Lack does not make you unpleasant, unworthy, or worthless. On the contrary, you will always have room for personal growth. When you see a flaw, find ways to improve yourself.
   • Repeat positive affirmations to yourself every day before you leave the house:
     • "I accept myself, I improve through learning and self-education - I accept myself."
     • "I approve of myself, every day I work hard to achieve my goals - I approve of myself."
2. 2 Forgive yourself. Remind yourself that the past is the past.If you've made any mistakes, allow yourself to move on. Your past actions do not determine your future. If something you are currently doing is hurting you, start replacing that behavior with alternative behavior that will bring you peace of mind. This can be challenging as it takes time to change habits.
   • Talk to someone about how you feel about what is difficult for you to let go of. An outsider can help you gain a different perspective and encourage you to move on.
3. 3 Create a good support system. Surround yourself with people who will support you with positive affirmations and encourage you to become the best version of yourself. Move away from people who humiliate and constantly scold you. Of course, it's impossible to completely avoid negative people, but do your best to stop communicating with them and limit your daily interaction with them at school or work.
   • If someone with whom you interact on a daily basis constantly bullies you, either tell her to her face about the problem, or discuss the matter with management, or seek advice from a trusted colleague on how best to approach this case.
4. 4 Highlight your strengths. At the end of each day, remind yourself of what you have accomplished today. Remind yourself of both the big and the small things. Minor accomplishments might include, “I made my bed before going to school in the morning.” Some of the accomplishments may seem small, but they may have taken a lot of effort, such as, “I didn’t snap at my sister when she was rude to me.”
   • Reward yourself periodically for positive results. Head out to dinner at a restaurant if you've done a particularly good job this week. Or buy yourself a new book to read if you've been able to successfully maintain your exercise regimen for several weeks.
5. 5 Put your life in perspective. When trying to achieve perfection, look at what you are doing on a daily basis and how much you have changed in a month, six months, or a year. Consider how you grew up. Remind yourself that your personality, your goals, your appearance, and your relationships are not static: all of these areas of your life will develop and flourish in your quest to make your life better.
   • Remember that your definition of the ideal applies to you and you alone. Along the way, you may be inspired by someone else to change some aspect of your life. But this does not mean that you strive to become exactly the same as another woman.

Warnings

• Everyone has their own body type. If one of your “ideal women” has a different body type from yours, then you will not be able to achieve the same shape. Even if your “ideal woman” has the same body type as yours, you will still look different from her. Focus on being fit and in good health rather than being a clone.
• The ideal will never be a static quality, just as you are constantly changing with growth. Everyone has their ups and downs, and sometimes you can progress at a slower pace than you would like. Pull yourself together and keep moving forward!