Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: How to Communicate Effectively
• Method 2 of 3: Dealing with Difficult Situations
• Method 3 of 3: How to get along with others
• Tips
• Warnings

Suppose you want to create a more positive work environment for your subordinates or learn to better handle conflict situations. A diplomatic person first assesses the situation and only then chooses the best course of action. Not all situations can be solved through diplomacy, but such skills will help you to be tactful and control yourself, smooth over sharp corners and build relationships with other people.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: How to Communicate Effectively

1. 1 Choose your words carefully. Even with the best intentions, your words can offend people. Before talking about a sensitive topic, think about how truthful, helpful, and kind the words you want to say are. Speak in the first person to express your own attitude, rather than assume other people's thoughts and feelings.
   • For example, you might say, "I am not happy with the decision that was made at the meeting," instead of, "You must be upset with this decision."
   • All statements should express your point of view and view of the situation.
   • You don't have to defend yourself and blame others.
   • If you need to discuss a serious issue, then think over the appropriate words in advance.
2. 2 The style of speech should be appropriate for the situation. Assess who you have to deal with so that people understand your words correctly. Choose an appropriate method, such as email and face-to-face conversation. Some news is best communicated to the entire team, and some face to face.
   • For example, you need to inform staff about a budget cut. Previously, you communicated important information via email, but this method was confusing. In this case, it is better to convene a meeting and announce the news, and then answer questions.
   • Schedule one-to-one appointments as needed.
3. 3 Be open-minded about new ideas. You don't always have to make decisions alone. Also try to understand someone else's point of view. Always thank the person for their sincerity so they don't hesitate to express their feelings. Analyze other people's views, but be firm and decisive if you think your decision is the best choice.
   • Say: “Thank you for your frankness, Andrey. I will definitely take into account your comments and consider new research on this issue. "
4. 4 Use confident words and body language. You don't need to be aggressive in conversation, but you should show self-confidence. Speak slowly and consider your words. Make eye contact and avoid crossing your arms and legs.
   • Don't be afraid to admit that you don't know something. For example, say, "I am not very good at this topic and am not ready to answer right now, but I will definitely study your question."
5. 5 Use evasive words. Speak slightly to avoid expressing all your thoughts and feelings too directly. Make assumptions, not prescriptions. Diplomatic people do not shout out orders, but inspire others to take the necessary action. Your goal is to collaborate with your team to inspire people to work effectively.
   • For example, if you have two children to reconcile, say, “Both of you should think about how best to divide the space in the room so you fight less.”
   • Tell an employee who is often late, “Have you ever tried commuting to work by the bypass road? Thanks to the absence of traffic jams, I got there faster several times. ” Such words should be said only to those people with whom you are in good relations, otherwise your advice may be perceived as passive aggression.
6. 6 Watch your manners. Good manners are an important aspect of diplomacy. Take turns talking and never interrupt the other person. Try to encourage the person and do not offend.Do not shout, do not swear, and speak in your normal voice.
7. 7 Control your emotions. Sometimes we have to deal with people we dislike and whose actions we find offensive. Try to be diplomatic with everyone, not just your friends. Breathe deeply to calm yourself in times of stress. If you are about to cry or scream, then it is better to leave for a while and pull yourself together.
   • You can use various meditation apps to control your emotions.
   • Try to focus on the moment. Concentrate on the feel of your shoes or the comfort of your chair.

Method 2 of 3: Dealing with Difficult Situations

1. 1 Choose the right moment to talk. If you need to discuss a serious issue, it is better to seize a moment when everyone is in a good mood, so that logic, rather than emotion, prevails in the conversation.
2. 2 Start with a positive comment if bad news needs to be reported. First, it's best to set the stage with positive words to soften the effect even a little. The person you are talking to should be calm and trust you.
   • Let's say you want to decline a wedding invitation. Instead of a short refusal, you should send a postcard with the words: “Congratulations on the upcoming wedding! It will be a wonderful day. Alas, I have an important working meeting ahead of me. I wish you happiness and I will send my gift by mail. "
   • Use a similar approach when you need to communicate constructive criticism.
3. 3 Focus on facts. Before an important conversation, you should consider all the facts. You cannot rely on emotions and beliefs in a conversation. Arm yourself with logic and common sense. You don't have to defend yourself or blame others. Do not take other people's words personally.
   • For example, an office is undergoing a reorganization. There is no need to tell your boss, “I don’t like these changes.” Better to say, “Our department doubled sales in the last quarter, but such cuts will have a significant impact on our ability to generate profit.”
4. 4 Look for an opportunity to find a compromise. Define your goal and the goals of the interlocutors. Consider the desired outcome of the situation for yourself and others, then find points of common interest for your interests.
   • For example, your spouse wants to move so that the children go to a more prestigious school. You want to stay because the house is next to the office. Consider private schools or homes in nearby neighborhoods.
5. 5 Express your likes and dislikes so that the situation is favorable for everyone. First, each interlocutor expresses his goals, and then it's time to start negotiations. Typically, a diplomatic approach implies the need to abandon some aspects in order to get a different desired result. This approach allows you to reach a compromise and mutual concessions.
   • For example, you are discussing a household chores list with your roommate. You may not mind washing dishes, but you don't like dusting. If the neighbor is ready to dust off, then such a division of labor can be proposed.
6. 6 React calmly to bad news. Suppose your boss tells you that you are fired, or your spouse leaves you. Instead of yelling, insulting and having a nervous breakdown, it is better to remain calm to show your maturity. Take a few deep breaths. React without negativity and buy time to collect your thoughts.
   • For example, tell your boss, “I'm very upset. Is this the final decision? Can you find out what is the reason for the dismissal? ”.
   • Do not try to suppress or drown your emotions with alcohol and drugs. Better to talk to a friend, do a pleasant job or exercise. In case of complications, it is better to immediately contact a psychotherapist or psychologist.
7. 7 Speak well about people. Don't add fuel to the fire if others gossip. Don't become an actor in a toxic environment that spreads rumors. Show your strength of character.
8. 8 Be honest and honest. Sincerity is an important component of diplomacy. It is important to be yourself when having a tough conversation.Otherwise, you will not get what you want, and people will not be able to build a good relationship with you.
   • For example, suppose you made a mistake that affected the entire team. No need to shift the blame. Say, “I made a mistake in my report, which is why there are so many calls coming in today. I want to apologize and try to fix everything. Please contact if you have questions or need help. ”
9. 9 Temporarily distance yourself from the conversation. Don't make tough decisions on the go. Better to be distracted for a while and think about everything than to make a decision, which you will regret later.
   • For example, your employee asks for one day per week to do his job at home. Take your time to communicate your refusal and weigh all aspects. Ideally, you need to find a compromise and offer this opportunity to the rest of the employee.

Method 3 of 3: How to get along with others

1. 1 Start with small talk so the other person can relax. Much of this diplomacy lies in the ability to create a conducive environment for the interlocutor. Take your time to get into a serious conversation. Try to create a friendly atmosphere. So, you can discuss plans for the weekend, family life, children or hobbies. Talk about the latest world events or your favorite TV series. Show interest in the person's life so that they can relax.
   • Try to use humor.
2. 2 Repeat the body language of the other person. Repeat people's gestures and movements to empathize and empathize with the other person. If he rests his chin on his palm, do the same. This will show you are actively involved in the conversation.
   • Always smile when you meet.
3. 3 In conversation, call the person by name. People are always pleased when the interlocutor calls them by name. Use this technique from time to time.
   • Say both casual: “Kirill, where do you like to have breakfast?” And more serious: “I'm so sorry, Arina, that your mother got sick”.
4. 4 Learn to listen carefully. During a call, you do not need to use the phone and wander in the clouds. Listen carefully and try to understand the other person's point of view. Repeat phrases in your own words to show attentiveness.
   • For example, say, “It looks like caring for a young child and elderly mother is taking a toll on your health.”
5. 5 Ask questions. Try to learn more about the topic of the conversation. Ask open-ended questions for which a monosyllabic answer is not enough.
   • Ask: “Wow, have you been to Greece? Why did you decide to go there and what did you like the most? "

Tips

• Seek advice from helpful books. For example, in Dale Carnegie's book How to Win Friends and Influence People, you can find many effective recommendations.

Warnings

• Be careful with the word "No." Strive to listen to all points of view and agreethat you understand such a point of view, even if you disagree with it.