Author:
Randy Alexander
Date Of Creation:
25 April 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
Feel like you can't trust your spouse or that he or she doesn't trust you? Lack of trust can lead to serious problems and even broken relationships. One simple way to build trust is to adjust how you interact with the other person. Communicate more and be open to each other. Feeling insecure can lead to distrust, so cultivate your confidence and do things you can enjoy by yourself. If you are struggling to trust your spouse because of past traumatic events, consider seeking treatment and working through it.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Improving communication
Avoid spying on your partner. Giving your partner some space may not be easy. If you get in the habit of scrutinizing the other person's things or often freaking out every time they go somewhere, try to reduce it. You may be frightened, but this shows that you are willing to believe and not interfere too deeply in his / her life.
- Learn to trust before doubting. Just give your opponent your trust first.
- Let your ex know that you have decided to trust rather than doubt them.
- Don't forget that if you follow the other person, there is doubt in your heart, and you can misinterpret whatever you find.
Communicate frankly with your partner. Saying everything clearly to the other person will help you overcome your trust problems. The two sides can improve communication and build trust if they can communicate frankly without feeling like they are hiding anything. If there are things that make you uncomfortable, list and explain why you are bothered by it. Wait for the other person's response and listen to what they say.- For example, instead of worrying about what your partner is doing when he or she is going out, talk before he / she leaves the house to find out where they are going or what to do. Make it a habit to talk without putting pressure on the other person to speak.
- When you talk to him / her, be calm and gracious. If you accuse or blame the other person, they may take the lead. If you get angry or upset, they may not want to talk to you.
Avoid blaming each other. Blaming will only make things worse when trust is shaken. If the other person feels that you don't trust you or your trust in them has declined, be careful and don't blame them. Instead, open your heart and listen to what they say. Ask questions instead of spilling accusations.- There will certainly be times when you see something suspicious. At such times, you should change your approach and gather more details.
- For example, if you feel nervous seeing the other person or secretly texting, say “I feel like you seem secretive when texting. Can you tell me what's going on? " That would be better than “I don't believe you. Are you hiding something from me? "
See a love and family consultant. Lack of trust in each other can destroy relationships quickly. If you and your significant other both want to stay connected and need help overcoming trust issues, a love counselor and family can help. They will help you solve problems and find new ways to communicate. They will also help you regulate your interactions and start building trust.- Find a professional with experience counseling and can meet you and your partner at the same time. You can find a counselor by calling a psychiatric hospital.
Part 2 of 3: Overcoming insecurity
Build confidence. If you don't have confidence in yourself, you may feel inferior to your partner or fear that they will find someone different than you. Understand that it is just your own insecurity, and that he / she might not think so. Improve your confidence by recognizing your strengths, doing things that make you feel good about yourself, and replacing negative monologues with positive ones.
- For example, if you often tell yourself that you are clumsy, replace the thought with things that you would be happy to think of yourself, such as “Even though I didn't speak well, I still tried tried and communicated better. ”
- If a lack of confidence is making it difficult for you in the relationship, you should probably seek the help of a licensed therapist. They can help build your confidence, and this will help strengthen the relationship.
Explore your interests and interests. Cultivate yourself as an independent individual instead of as the other half. Concerns or hobbies are also means to relieve stress. Find an activity that makes you feel comfortable and excited. Try to set aside at least one day each week to enjoy yourself.
- If you don't know where to start, try volunteering. You'll meet new people and be proud of making a difference in your community.
- You can try choosing a new sport, doing yoga, painting, dancing, hiking or composing music.
Seek the support of family and friends. Talk to a loved one or trusted friend about issues like jealousy or distrust you are going through and take different perspectives. If you need help or advice, reach out to someone you trust. Even if they can't help you, at least you have someone to share.
- Spend time with friends and family instead of focusing solely on your partner. Arrange dining, outings and other activities with the people you love.
Control your emotions in a healthy way. If you are suffering from anxiety or jealousy, learn to deal with those emotions instead of biting or saying hurtful words. When you feel stressed, take a few deep breaths before you accuse the other person or suspect them. This can be comforting both physically and mentally.
- If you're having trouble coping with your emotions, try journaling, listening to music, or taking a walk.
Part 3 of 3: Overcoming your hurts
Recognize your hurts in the past. Maybe you were hurt by your old love or from family affairs, and now that wound makes it difficult to trust the person with you. True, your experience is real, but understand that your spouse is not the one who hurt you. If your old relationship has caused you to lose trust, it can be helpful to look back at your past experience and how it has affected your current relationship.
- It is also possible that he / she has hurt you or betrayed your trust. Once things have retreated into the past, forgive and forget if you still want to continue to accompany your ex.
- For example, if your ex used to cheat on you, it's easy to understand why you're wary this time. However, don't forget that the person with you right now is not the one who cheated on you.
Identify ongoing problems. Take some time to think about the trust issues you are going through. Identify behaviors or situations that upset you, and ask yourself if the other person acted shady, whether they have lied to you in some way, or been unfaithful.
- If your partner does not behave suspiciously and shows no signs of deception and you are still worried, perhaps it is your feelings of insecurity that have made you distrust.
- If your ex has been unfaithful (or you were unfaithful yourself), ask yourself if you can let go and continue the relationship.
Believe in myself. It can be hard to believe in yourself if you've made a wrong decision in the past. Be tolerant and don't do anything reckless (like cheating) or vent your anger on your partner. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes and allow yourself to move on.
- Understand that you have made mistakes or been hurt in the past, but you can learn a lot from those experiences. Take lessons and heal your wounds by forgiving yourself.
Speak privately with a therapist. You may have been mistreated in your childhood or in an old relationship that has left you deeply wound. If you are struggling to overcome past problems that have made it difficult to build trust, consider seeking help from a therapist. They can help you process your emotions and heal your hurts. You are not alone in dealing with everything.
- You can call a psychiatric hospital to find a therapist, or seek referrals from a doctor or friend.
