Content

• Steps
• Advice

Some people have a naturally sociable nature, but others have to practice like that. If you want to be friendly and approachable, here are the tactics you can use. To be a "sociable" person, you need to know how to get to know other people, stimulate conversation, and become more confident.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Understand the art of conversation

1. 

   Say thank you to everyone in public. You may see some people every day, but you have never acknowledged them. In order to become a harmonious person, it is important that you begin to show more gratitude to the people around you. Next time you order coffee or check the bill at the supermarket, smile at the person who is helping you. Make eye contact with them and say "thank you". This small gesture will help you feel more comfortable communicating with others, and perhaps it also gives the other person a little joy during the day.
   • A small compliment can also help, especially in service situations. Keep in mind that the grocer or coffee stall employee has to serve hundreds of customers a day, many of whom probably don't care or be rude to them. Say something like, "Oh, you (you) so fast, thank you (she)" to thank.

2. 

   
   
   Eye contact. When you are at a social event, for example at a party, try to make eye contact with the people there. When you meet someone's eyes, you give them a friendly smile. When you see someone staring at you, you come over and introduce yourself. If the person smiles back at you, that's a good sign.
   • If the person does not respond, ignore it. "Being sociable" is different from "pressing". You shouldn't force a person to talk if they don't like it.
   • Bear in mind that this does not work in situations where people are not expected to have access, for example while traveling on public transport. Knowing when and where to approach others, and when to be alone is also part of being sociable.

3. 

   
   
   Introduce yourself. You don't have to be sweet to be friendly and approachable. You can try introducing yourself by saying that you are new to the area, or complimenting the other person.
   • Find people sitting quietly alone. You may not feel comfortable when you're "shy" suddenly having to become "active". If you are attending an event, try to find people who seem shy or self-contained. Chances are they don't feel as comfortable as you are. Perhaps they will be happy when you take the initiative to get to know them.
   • Friendly, but not pushy. Once you've introduced yourself and asked one or two socially questions but the other person doesn't seem interested, leave them alone.

4. 

   
   
   Ask open-ended questions. One of the ways to be informal in conversation is to ask open-ended questions. Questions like that get the other person to not just respond "yes" or "no". It's easier to initiate a conversation if you invite the other person to share their conversation. When you make eye contact and smile at someone, start talking with questions. Here are a few suggestions:
   • Did you like that book / magazine very much?
   • What activities do you like in this region?
   • Where did you find that beautiful t-shirt?

5. 

   Say a few compliments. If you care about others, you need to pay attention to their little things that you like or appreciate. You should acknowledge them with compliments, but be sincere. People may spot dishonest compliments. Think of things like:
   • I have read that book already. You choose that book is really great!
   • I love your shoes. It suits the dress you wear very well!
   • Do you drink coffee with milk? It's delicious - I drink it every Monday morning.

6. 

   Find something that both of you are interested in. Starting conversations is about what the two of you have in common. To find a topic to talk to, you need to explore what you and the other person both have. If you both work together or have mutual friends, or have anything connection, you will find it easier to start a conversation. Talking about work, friends or common interests will open up other topics in the conversation.
   • If you're talking to a stranger, you can immediately use the meeting situation as your topic. If you are in a bookstore, you can ask them to recommend a good book. If you're both stuck in a long line, you can make a joke about it.
   • Be careful not to make judgmental comments. For example, you could say you like the person's hairstyle and ask them where they cut their hair. Or you can say that you are looking for a pair of sneakers like the one the person is wearing, and ask them where they buy it. Avoid anything that seems offensive, such as comments about the person's size, skin color, or physical appeal.

7. 

   Pay attention to other people's interests. If Mr. A is determined to talk about thermodynamics and Mr. B definitely talks about Italian coffee, the story between the two will go nowhere. One of you needs to recognize the other's passion. Please take the initiative to be that person.
   • When you talk, try to notice when the other person seems cheerful and upbeat. You can hear it and can see. Their expressions will become more expressive (their voices too), and you will probably see their bodies move as well.

8. 

   Chat with colleagues. If you go to work outside, maybe you have a social environment attached to work, it just needs you to try a little. Find a place where people hang out, like a break room or a co-worker lounge.
   • The office foyer is not a place to deal with hot topics like religion or politics. Instead, engage people by commenting on outstanding sporting or cultural events. While people often have strong opinions on these topics, it is safer nonetheless in informal conversation.
   • Being sociable at work is important. People will feel that you are a friendlier and more optimistic person. Workplace connection and chat also get you the attention you deserve.

9. 

   End when the story is still interesting. Let the other person curious to find out more. One way to achieve this is to keep it open for next discussion. End the conversation skillfully, so that the other person doesn't think you are not interested in talking to them.
   • For example, if you're talking about dogs, ask them if they know a good dog park. If the other person responds enthusiastically, you can invite them to take the dog together to the park: “Have you ever been to a dog park near X Street? I have never been there. Can we come together next Saturday? " In particular, it is more effective than "Let's go there every day!" because that way people will think you are just socializing.
   • At the end of the conversation, close by repeating the main point you discussed with the other person. That way they will see that you are listening. Example: “Good luck in this Sunday marathon! I wait for next week to tell me about it. ”
   • End by reasserting that you enjoy the conversation. “It's fun to talk to my friends” or “It's fun to meet you” will make the other person feel liked.

10. 

    Talk to anyone and with everyone. After you feel more comfortable talking to people you already know, try talking to people you just met. At first, you may feel a little nervous when talking to someone you are not familiar with and may find it difficult to approach. But the more you reach out to people and get used to talking, the easier it will be for you to feel. advertisement

Method 2 of 4: Step out social

1. 

   Set concrete and reasonable goals. Becoming sociable is a difficult goal, because many small behaviors are involved. So it's also a good idea to break your big goals down into smaller ones. Instead of telling yourself to be peaceful, set a task every day to talk to a new person or smile every day at five people.
   • Try to swap a few sentences (or if you think that's too much, just smile) with strangers or acquaintances every day, say hello to everyone on the street, or ask the waiter's name. Small wins like this will keep you going and ready for higher challenges.

2. 

   Join a club. If you are unsure how to approach others in a social setting, try joining a hobby club. There you will have the opportunity to interact with people who share your interests, although often on a small scale.
   • Find a club that promotes communication, like a book club or cooking class. You can ask questions and join the discussion, but the attention is not entirely focused on you. Such environments are great for shy people.
   • Sharing experiences is probably a powerful connection method. Joining a club where you can share your experiences with others will be a good start - you've already begun to establish similarities there.

3. 

   Invite everyone to come and play. You can still get along even when you're not out of the house. Invite people over to the house to watch a movie or have a party. If you act considerate and responsive, people will feel that you value them (and they can enjoy it).
   • Create events that encourage conversation. You can invite people to sample wine house so everyone has a chance to sip and compare. Or organize an informal dinner where everyone brings together their favorite family food (recipe included). Having a reason to talk can make the party more exciting and exciting (to be honest, food and wine never hurt you).

4. 

   Know a certain pastime. Hobbies help calm you down, so you can be more sociable. When you are familiar with a hobby, you will feel proud and it will make you more confident in communication.
   • Hobbies also give you topics to interact with new acquaintances. It also gives you the opportunity to meet new people. Enjoyment also benefits your health, such as less risk of depression.

5. 

   Pay attention to how you dress. The way you dress affects the way you feel about yourself. Clothing that shows your personality and values ​​can help you feel confident, and can also help you feel more active and peaceful.
   • If you feel a little thrilled in communication, wear something that feels powerful and engaging, and you can add that confidence to your interactions.
   • Clothes can also be the subject for creating an interesting conversation. A funny tie or uniquely designed bracelet can be a theme for people to distance themselves from you. You can also compliment other people's clothing or accessories as a way to get acquainted.
   • Be careful not to let judgments get in the way of compliments like "That dress makes you look so slim!" This type of commenting focuses more on a common standard of beauty than on who you are talking to. Instead, try saying something positive but non-judgmental like “I like the design of the tie you wear, it's abstract” or “I'm looking for shoes like that, you buy it. where are you?"

6. 

   Nurture an existing friendship. You should pay attention to forging friendships with your current friends and common people. Not only will this make you more connected, but also more mature and have new experiences to share with both groups.
   • Old friends are a good place to practice. They may introduce you to new people or accompany you to places you'll probably never want to go there alone. Don't ignore them! Maybe they're experiencing the same feeling as you.

7. 

   Introduce everyone to each other. Making people comfortable is also part of being sociable. When you feel comfortable introducing yourself, spread love by introducing people to each other.
   • Introducing people to each other reduces the awkwardness of communicating situations. Think about what you know about each person - what do they have in common? For example, when you were talking to Lan at a shopping place and accidentally met Thành, you should stop for a few seconds to call, “Thanh, this is Lan. We just mentioned the band last night that performed in the city theater. How do you feel?"
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Method 3 of 4: Communicating in body language

1. 

   Examine your body language. Non-verbal means of communication like eye contact and body language are as capable of expressing who you are as you are with words. Your posture and gesture send others a message about you. People often judge a person as attractive, likeable, decent, trustworthy or aggressive in a split second, so you only have 1/10 second to make the first impression.
   • For example, making yourself "smaller" by sitting cross-legged, slouch, arm-tight, etc. shows that you are uncomfortable in the situation. It can send signals that you don't want to communicate with others.
   • Conversely, you can show confidence and strength by keeping an open posture. You don't have to take up more space than necessary or invade someone else's space, but you need to set up your own space. Keep your feet steady when standing and sitting. Keep a standing posture with chest forward and shoulders back. Avoid fidgeting, stretching toes, or fidgeting.
   • Body language also affects how people feel about themselves. People who use "low position" body language, such as curled up or closed by crossing arms or legs, actually have cortisol elevated (cortisol is a stress hormone linked to feelings of insecurity).

2. 

   
   
   Make eye contact. You can be friendlier with just your eyes. If you look directly at someone this is often understood as an invitation. The other person will return your gaze as an acknowledgment.
   • People who make eye contact while talking are generally considered to be more friendly, open, and trustworthy. Extroverts and confident in communication often look at the person they are talking to more often and for longer.
   • Eye contact creates a sense of closeness among people, even in photos or even in sketches.
   • Try to maintain eye contact with the other person about 50% of the time when you speak, and about 70% of the time when you hear them. Look them in the eye for about 4-5 seconds before changing your gaze.

3. 

   
   
   Show interest in body language. In addition to standing or sitting alone, you can also communicate with other people using body language. "Open" gesture language shows that you are always ready and interested in the other person.
   • Open body language is not crossing arms and legs, smiling, looking up and looking around the room.
   • Once you make a connection with someone, show interest in them. For example, leaning forward and tilting your head when listening to the other person is a way to show that you are interested in the conversation and interested in their opinion.
   • Many body language implies romantic charm, but there are also expressions of interest that are not romantic.

4. 

   
   
   Be an active listener. When you listen to other people, let them know that you are interested in the conversation. Focus on what they say. Look at the person while they are speaking. Nodding, using sounds like "uh, uh" or "um, um," and smiling are all ways to show that you have heard.
   • Avoid looking beyond the person you're talking to or looking away for more than a few seconds, as this shows that you are bored or inattentive.
   • Repeat the other person's main ideas, or use them as part of your response. For example, if you are talking to a new person at a bar and they are talking about fly fishing, mention that when answering: “Oh, I've never fished. with artificial flies. But it sounds interesting to hear your description. That will show the other person that you are actually listening rather than munching on your shopping list or doing something else.
   • Let the other person finish talking before you respond.
   • When you hear the other person speak, do not give feedback when they are finished. Focus on the information they give.

5. 

   Practice smiling. One can distinguish a "real" smile from a fake smile. The smile actually activates the muscles around the mouth and around the eyes, called a "Duchenne" smile.
   • Duchenne smiles have been shown to reduce stress and make people smile happily.
   • Practice smiling with a Duchenne smile. Imagine a situation in which you want to show positive emotions like happiness or love. Practice smiling in front of the mirror. Make sure the corners of your lips show wrinkles, the hallmark of a "real" smile.

6. 

   Push yourself through the "comfort zone". An area called "optimal anxiety" or "useful anxiety" exists right outside of our natural comfort zone.Your efficiency is exerted in this zone because you are willing to take a risk but still near the "comfort zone", you don't go too far to be stopped by worry. to settle.
   • For example, when starting a new job, on your first date or on the first day of a new school, you tend to try harder in your new situation. With great effort and attention, you will also show better performance.
   • Go through this process slowly. Pushing yourself too far or too quickly will actually damage your performance, as your anxiety will go beyond the "optimal" level and enter the "panic". First, try taking small steps outside of your comfort zone. Once you begin to feel more comfortable taking the risks of extroversion, you can take longer steps.

7. 

   Noting "failures" are lessons learned. Risky always comes with the risk of not working as expected. It is easy to assume those situations are "failures". The problem with that way of thinking is that it has put it all together.Even the worst-looking result gives you something to learn from and learn from next time.
   • Think about how you approach the situation. What did you anticipate? Is there anything that you have not considered? Now that you have the experience, what do you think you will do differently next time?
   • What have you done to support your chances of success? For example, if the goal is “more communication”, reconsider what you have taken. Have you been to places where you know some people? Do you go with your best friend? Do you go to a place where you can find people with similar interests? Did you hope to instantly become a sociable person, or did you set smaller and more achievable initial goals? Prepare for your success next time with the knowledge you learned from this time around.
   • Focus on what you do may control. The experience of failure can leave you feeling helpless, as if success will never happen. Of course there will be things that are out of our control, but not all. Think about what you can do to make a change, and consider how to do those things to your advantage next time.
   • You can incorporate the value of your effort into your ability to manifest. Learn to focus on your efforts rather than the results (something you cannot always control). Be tolerant of yourself when you fall. This method can help you do better next time.
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Method 4 of 4: Think positively, efficiently, and confidently

1. 

   Challenge your inner criticism. Changing your behavior is difficult, especially when you try to do something that is not natural. You can hear whispers in her head like, “She doesn't want to be my friend. I have nothing to say. Everything I say is stupid ”. Such thoughts come only from fear, not based on facts. Challenge them by reminding yourself that you have ideas and thoughts that others want to hear.
   • Try to find evidence for those "scenarios" as they come to mind. For example, if a colleague walks past your desk without greeting, you will suddenly think, “Oh, she's mad at me. I don't know what I did. I know she doesn't want to be friends with me ”.
   • Challenge that thought by finding evidence for it; Maybe you can't find much. Ask yourself: Last time you got angry, did the person say it? If so, they would have said it this time. Do you actually do anything that might upset the person? Maybe they're just having a bad day?
   • Maybe your shy nature causes you to exaggerate your mistakes in the eyes of others. Remember that if you are open, sincere, and friendly, most people will not let it go because of a single stumble. Torturing yourself for your mistakes also means that worrying keeps you from learning and growing.

2. 

   Socialize your way. There's nothing wrong with being introverted or timid. You decide what you should change, but do it for yourself, not because someone tells you to change.
   • Think about why your shyness makes you so sad. Maybe that's just something you accept and undo. Or maybe you just want to feel more comfortable talking to those around you. Being yourself introverted is much better than being someone else and reluctantly extroverted.
   • Think about what situations your shyness arises. How does your body react? What is your bias? Figuring out how to do this is the first step in controlling your responses.

3. 

   Get started as soon as the opportunity arises. If you wait until you are interested in taking action, your chances of seeing the change are quite low. You can be effective by acting the way you want to - whether you believe it or not at first. Your expectations are often capable of delivering something. That's why people often say that if you fake it, one day it will turn into reality.

4. 

   Set realistic goals. Remember that changing yourself takes time. Set realistic goals for yourself and don't blame yourself if you stumble from time to time. This is normal.
   • Identify what's challenging you. Your goal of being sociable may not be the same for you as for everyone else. For example, every day making eye contact with a person can be a huge win for you. Choose realistic goals for yourself.

5. 

   Realize that sociability is a skill. While this may seem easy to some, the quality has to be exercised over time, and you can learn too. By setting goals and practicing continuously, you can change the way you respond to situations and people.
   • If you know someone who is sociable, ask them. Are they always like that? Are they ever right try to be sociable? Do they have any phobias? The corresponding responses may be no, yes, and yes. The only problem is that they have decided to overpower.

6. 

   Think about past successes. Inherent anxiety can invade you in a party when thinking about socializing with the people there. Perhaps you have some negative thoughts about your ability to succeed in communication. In such situations, think about times when you were successful and comfortable. Maybe at least a few times you are active in your family and in your group. Apply that achievement to this situation.
   • Thinking about the times you've done what you fear now will help you see what you are capable of and make you more confident.
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Advice

• Feel your surroundings and enjoy the present moment. If you don't know how to enjoy it, who else will do it for you!
• Smile whenever possible. Smiling alone as well as smiling at others can make you feel better and can help you get along.
• When you feel comfortable reaching people, take the next step. Learn how to have an interesting conversation and how to be engaging.
• When someone asks about your life, remember to ask again about their life. This is easy to forget, but it can take the conversation further.
• Don't be pressured to act like someone else. Being yourself is the best way to become confident.
• Remember that you can't go from being shy to being energetic right away, but it can take days or even years to reach the most confident level. Make use of your time. Practice being sociable by talking with others. You can do it in the classroom or in the boardroom meeting room - there's no difference here.
• Go to get to know people. If you see someone you don't know but looks good on, just say, "Hello, what's your name?" and after they answer, say “Oh, I am (insert your name). Nice to meet you!". This will make you feel that you are friendly and that you are not afraid to talk to people.