Content

• Steps

Everyone feels nervous about being open-minded from time to time. After all, people need courage to be able to share themselves with others. However, shy people are often shy and have negative thoughts about themselves. When uncertainty arises, it becomes more difficult to open up. Fortunately, with patience and a willingness to change, it will be easier for you to open up to others.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Building confidence

1. 

   Discover your values. You should look deep inside your soul and write down all of the traits that you most love about yourself. Maybe you are caring, understanding, or compassionate. It would be a shame if the rest of the world never shared these gifts.
   • Consider what you are good at. Identifying your strengths will help boost your self-esteem. So if you begin to feel doubts about yourself or feel embarrassed, or think about your strengths.
   • Focus on the benefits your habit can bring you. For example, perhaps you prefer a one-on-one conversation and enjoy spending time in nature. All the time you spend with yourself and others will make you a better listener and more aware of your feelings. This is a strong point that can hardly be nurtured into a strong voice in a large group of society.

2. 

   
   
   Appreciate your shyness. Accept that you possess a lot of good qualities, even if being the center of the party isn't your forte. This method will give you a more realistic expectation of what will happen when you open up. For example, you may find that as you open up, you create deeper conversations with specific people instead of filling up your phone contacts with people you can't remember well.
   • Warning about "labeling" yourself: You should make sure you don't put yourself in a situation where you have no other choice. Many people consider themselves shy as an excuse to avoid facing the difficulty of being open-minded. Think of your shyness as a distinct style, and it represents the problems you need to overcome rather than blunt facts about your limitations.
   • Know what makes you label yourself shy (e.g., enjoy spending time alone, feel exhausted from a pointless conversation at a party, often don't know what to say) is an experience most people experience, whether they are shy or not.

3. 

   
   
   Next step after the mistake. Avoid taking the time to analyze the awkward or unpleasant situation and blame yourself for being part of the cause of the problem.
   • You should know that this world is not watching you.Also, everyone was too busy with themselves. Instead of observing yourself as if you were someone else, focus on your inner self. You need to equip yourself with knowledge of what makes you shy, seek inwardly, and embody your own thoughts.
   • Self-pity will only direct your energies to blaming yourself instead of changing anything about what happened. You need to console yourself with the fact that no one noticed that you were flustered by the last comment. Since you are the one who knows this well, you should treat yourself in the same way as you would a shy person. Smile lovingly to yourself for doing your best, step forward, and try again.

4. 

   
   
   Examine it as it is. Remember that rejection is a part of life, and how we learn to better understand the differences between ourselves and others. For example, you are at a meeting and the person you are talking to disappears, leaving you alone. Instead of blaming yourself, understand that the situation is not right for both of you.
   • Turn your attention to finding a lesson about what happened. Maybe the person you talk to has had a hard day and they see their best friend walk in. From there, you will learn that responding to people's individual needs for solidarity can (and sometimes needs to be) overwhelms their attitudes toward society. If you can learn a lesson and move forward, this experience shouldn't be a negative thing at all.
   • Be sure to reward yourself for your efforts, even if the situation doesn't work as you expected. Be honest about what you did to create conversation and listen positively. Take note of your progress - perhaps you didn't have the confidence to do this a month ago - and be proud! Anyway, we can only change ourselves and our attitudes. The results will often depend on a multitude of other parts of our life that we have no control over.

5. 

   Eliminate perfectionism. Often times, unrealistic expectations destroy our ability to perceive the good that we do. Ask yourself, "Do I really believe I have the ability to talk and love anyone?". This is just a real life event for which we are not motivated to open up. Remember to make sure that the task of opening up to others is not an effort to overpower your natural sense of someone you can and cannot trust.
   • Perfectionism also occurs when we try to get others to see us in a particular way. Stop putting pressure on yourself and realize that you don't need (and can't) control how others see you. This means that in a social situation it is your duty to observe others and get involved when you can make a positive contribution - it's easier than monitoring your own actions and being obsessive about how others see you.

6. 

   Talk to yourself in a positive way. Words have great power to make us remember them. Try to replace negative self-judgment and criticism with encouragement. When "I'm too shy to talk to people" comes to mind, remind yourself that you are capable of interacting with others and that you are confident enough to be yourself.
   • Retraining your mind to form positive thoughts instead of doubts will also allow you to become more aware of your success, as you constantly uncover evidence of your abilities and contributions.

7. 

   Write diary. Opening up is quickly easier if you know what to say, and writing is a great way to find a topic. Whether you are writing about an event that happened to you or about everything you read on the news, you will feel more comfortable commenting and responding to your surroundings.
   • This way, you are training the word-of-mind to form thoughts about almost anything. And if you find yourself switching to a new topic, you can talk about what you wrote (assuming it was an event), you can tell people, "yesterday I have been thinking about ___ ".
   advertisement

Part 2 of 3: Sharing in an informal environment

1. 

   Allow yourself to be shared. Having low self-esteem and a lot of worries about how others see you can make the process of self-sharing seem impossible. Remember that even if you are busy yourself, or even tired of thinking about yourself, the people in your life will experience the opposite. When you're shy, the person you care about wished they knew or understood you better.
   • By trying to present a little bit about your own world, you are also becoming more open to other points of view. If your personal image is quite negative, maybe being open to someone you trust will help you realize the great part of yourself that you didn't think of.

2. 

   Admit your shyness. When you want to open up to friends, family, or a lover, don't hesitate to be honest about what you are. By removing the defenses and presenting your current feelings, the other person will immediately feel connected to the deepest part of you. More importantly, the other person will not suspect or fear that something is wrong surname makes it difficult for you to open up.
   • Try to start out like "I want you to know that I am a little shy talking about this, so try to endure with me". This statement will call for more support than to give an excuse. Remember that you don't need to ask others to forgive you for the amount of progress in your openness. Apology will create suspicion and negativity.
   • Remember that you are not shy to show people that you need sympathy or indulgence. The goal here is to let people know why you appear anxious or distant. Patience and support from others will help you take risks as well as show effort as you learn. ways to become more comfortable with openness.

3. 

   Focus on the other person. Shift your focus to the outside and allow the other person to push your desire to open up. Observe the speaker's facial expressions and listen for the speaker's rising tone of voice, for signs of what makes them excited. Excitement is contagious, and with deep attention it will be hard for you are not reply.
   • Paying close attention to what others are suggesting doesn't mean you should play a supporting role in the conversation. For example, if your brother is elaborating on a problem he faces in the company, you can respond by asking for more information, providing advice and material comforting. , or share a similar experience.
   • Shyness is, in a way, overly focused on yourself, making it difficult for you to respond appropriately. Focusing on others in general is an exercise that will help you move beyond your extreme shyness.

4. 

   Share from the heart. Begin to believe in the fact that you have captured the attention of others in an intimate context from the very beginning because they hope to learn more about you. Slowly open up by reminding yourself that your feelings are not right or wrong. If you feel judged or afraid of being judged, ask yourself "who is judging you?". Being open to others can be a way to keep you away from the toughest critic - you.
   • Heart always contains a topic that you want to share. Do you feel empty or lost? They are quite personal elements that you can tell others.You even have the ability to release all the feelings and memories surrounding the event.
   • You should start with the saying, "You know, it's funny, every time I talk to myself, I often feel a void. Sometimes, I wonder I still can't express it. what ... "
   advertisement

Part 3 of 3: Chat in social situations

1. 

   Ready. Don't stress yourself by appearing somewhere that doesn't have some small conversation ideas available. You should keep up with current news, the latest restaurant or pub opening events in the area, or any other information that may add excitement. Preparing at least 5 or 6 topics will help form the flexibility of stating something right now.
   • In addition to the general topic, pay attention to what a particular group of people feel relevant to. If you are going to a party where a jazz band is performing, you should talk about a topic related to music.

2. 

   Start small. Don't force yourself to attend any seemingly informal event or meeting. You can also try to set flexible time limits for yourself. Even if you want to stay longer, you will know that you have made an agreement with yourself that you will be there for at least 2 hours.
   • Coming early will help you feel more secure, as you will have time to adjust to the atmosphere. Sometimes, the fear formed by the feeling of going to a party or house is enough to get you back into the habit of doubting yourself.

3. 

   Looks easy. Use gestures to show that you really want to be approached. If you put your hands in your pocket or are busy texting, others will find that you are busy or not interested in talking. Try to have a visualization of how you behave around someone you trust. Perhaps you will look straight instead of at your feet. You also won't fold your arms, and won't crouch under layers of sweaters and coats.

4. 

   Start a conversation. It's a good idea to review some of your recent experiences, and trust that once you start talking, you'll be creating a great conversation. Start with a simple remark about something other people might respond to - "Is that beer good?" or "I've heard this song before, but I can't remember!".
   • It is best to comment on the current environment. When you share your observations of a neighbor you meet, a group of people you hang out with, or what is served, you are inviting the other person to become commentators. This method will give you two quests to find and share anomalies and interests in your surroundings.
   • Add as much information and details as possible. This will help you avoid putting the conversation in a dead end. If someone asks you questions, avoid giving a brief answer like "great". You should try to use the saying "good, much better than yesterday, oh my!".
   • When sharing your observations, relevant experiences, and opinions, avoid making excuses and asking others to forgive you. Your opening sentence like "maybe it's me ..." and "sorry, but I want to say ..." will make others think that you are scared or lack confidence.

5. 

   Use confident body language. A few specific physical actions will signal that you are focusing on a conversation with others. Eye contact, hand movements, and nodding will all let the audience know that you are interested and want to continue the conversation.
   • When talking to others becomes a major challenge, it's easy to forget half of opening your heart is actually listening. Once you fully focus on the other person's words, the response will be more natural - you won't feel surprised. Maybe your shyness will prevent you from talking much. Like everyone else, so you can make up for it by listening attentively.

6. 

   Ask open-ended questions. Open-ended questions are questions that require the answer to be more than just "yes" or "no". By asking this type of question once you've got the gist of the story, you will let others know that you are genuinely interested in what is going on.
   • For example, if someone is telling a traffic jam, don't ask how long it will take them to get home. Instead, try asking, "How do you deal with feeling bored on a long trip?", Or "What part of the journey home makes you feel happiest when you are there? there?". Instead of a blunt answer like "usually an hour", you'll get answers that guide you through many other stories.
   • Also, asking open-ended questions means that speakers lead the way. Then, the person boldly talking will turn to you, who is interested.
   • See yourself as a regular journalist, eager to learn about others and not shy about asking more about them. Friend are not encroach on their privacy in which you are allowing participants to discuss topics they love and master.

7. 

   Make others feel good. The best way to do this is to build a sympathetic, direct relationship through a smile. By smiling and making eye contact, you are sending the signal that you are friendly, open to conversation, and want to be involved. This method works well for friends and strangers - we tend to enjoy smiling back and forth. It is similar to a pat on the back from a distance!
   • Remember that people are there because they want to interact. If you feel as though you are being too blunt or trying to impress the other person, remember that they may be feeling relieved and excited about attracting someone else's attention.
   • When you send a warm, kind signal, the conversation will be quite different. Instead of formally introducing yourself, you can simply say "Great night, right?", Or "Hi, I can't help but be fascinated by the happy people here ..."

8. 

   Continue. Make a scary situation a place for personal growth and introspection. Become a self-observing and reflecting person, answering the question: Why do I feel that way? What makes me feel like this? Is there an alternative explanation for what was happening? ”.
   • Let's say you've only been to the party for 30 minutes and you start getting nervous. Don't hesitate to use the bathroom or any private place you can find to see yourself, and take a few quick steps to calm down.
   • Don't give in to unpleasant situations. Allow yourself to become numb before the moments you would normally avoid. You'll find that a bit of embarrassment or silence can be funny and not as bad as you might think.
   advertisement