Author:
Randy Alexander
Date Of Creation:
24 April 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
Chatting is the foundation of most friend relationships. Whether you're chatting or talking about serious topics, conversations will help you connect with friends, get to know each other better, and build mutual trust.If you are having an intimate conversation, reiterate your friend's personal details and ask them questions. If you are talking about an important topic, take the initiative to help and support them. Whatever the case, be an active listener and let your friend know that you are with them.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Informal conversation
Say "hello" when you meet them. Nodding, smiling, and waving at them are all friendly gestures, but these won't open up a conversation. Say "hello" when you meet a friend in the hallway or around the house. This will give you the opportunity to initiate a friendly conversation.
- Continue to interact with them sincerely, asking them how they have been lately. Even if you can't chat for long, show that you really care about them as a friend.
Recall personal details while you are chatting. Think about the stories your friend has told. Did their favorite band just release a new album? Did they just go away to visit their parents? Repeat the details and ask them these facts to show that you listened to them when they spoke.- For example, if your friend just came back from a trip, say something like, “How was your vacation on Aruba Island? Tell me about it. "
Maintain a balanced dialogue. It is impolite to overwhelm a conversation, but you shouldn't leave someone alone. Instead, try to maintain balance. After giving an opinion or asking a question, give the audience the opportunity to respond. Likewise, when they ask you something, give an informative answer.- If you don't understand something, don't be afraid to ask them to explain. For example, if they ask you about a movie you've never seen, don't just answer "I haven't seen it." Continuing with this statement, “That sounds fascinating. Tell me more ”.
Consider the amount of personal information you disclose. Don't be in a hurry to share too much information. Building a friendship is a lifelong process based on mutual trust. Each time you talk, slowly share a little more information about yourself.- For example, don't immediately talk about problems in your relationship. Start off with less personal topics and share more personal information as the friendship progresses.
- Balance what you share with what your friends are willing to share. If you really want to talk about personal secrets, but they just want to talk about their cats, respect that and wait for you to trust each other more to reveal your secrets.
- Likewise, if a friend is sharing more than you'd like to hear, tell them, "I'm not sure I'm the right person for you to talk about."
Maintain an open and approachable position. In addition to the topic of conversation, a close conversation also needs other factors. Maintain friendly body language by leaning forward slightly, keeping your shoulders open, not crossing your arms across your chest, and making eye contact with the other person. This shows that you are open and easy to talk to.
- Don't lean forward too much to invade their personal space. The purpose of leaning slightly toward the other person is to show your interest, not lean toward them too much to make them uncomfortable.
Method 2 of 3: Discuss difficult topics
Let your friends know they are not alone. You may not understand exactly what they are going through, but you can still tell them that you are there to help them. Make sure they are not alone, and that you are there to listen and support if they need it.
- Sometimes it can be helpful to share a story about a time when you felt difficult and asked for help. This lets them know that everyone has a hard time and it's normal to ask people for help.
Ask open-ended questions. Asking the right questions not only helps you to better understand the problems your friends are going through, it also helps them to confide. Try to come up with open-ended questions that encourage them to speak out their thoughts and feelings instead of delving into details.
- A question like "How are you feeling?" gives friends plenty of opportunities to express their feelings, instead of the question "Are you crazy?"
Avoid judging them. Your friend will need a lot of courage to ask for help, especially if they've done something to embarrass them. Listen to them without judging. You don't have to agree with what they are saying or doing, but remember that everyone makes mistakes. Listen and understand that your friend makes the same mistakes as everyone else.
- Avoid criticizing their behavior. If a friend cheats on a test, don't judge him or her as an individual student. Instead, say, “Math is a difficult subject. Instead of cheating next time, let's do homework together so I can tutor you to study? ”
Encourage them to get help. If your friend needs help getting through a tough time, encourage them to seek help. Perhaps they are afraid and feel lonely when being alone to ask others. Please accompany them or help them find solutions. This helps them to understand that they are not alone and that it is normal to ask for help during difficult times.
- For example, if a friend is experiencing depression, they may be anxious talking to a therapist. Offer to help them find a few therapists in their area that specialize in helping people with depression.
Method 3 of 3: Become an active listener
Support your friends if they don't want to chat. If a friend who is depressed or in distress says that he or she doesn't want to talk about his or her feelings right now, it can be frustrating. Even if you want to be a good friend and help them, there's nothing you can do if they don't open up. Although difficult, the best thing you should do in these cases is to give them space.
- Say this, "All right. I won't force it if you don't want to. You just need to know that I'm always here if you need someone to listen.
- There are many reasons why a person is not ready to talk. Perhaps they are not sure how they feel about it. Maybe they're trying to forget. Perhaps they feel uncomfortable talking about it. Don't think it's your problem. Please respect them.
Practice active listening. Active listening includes skills you can use to show that you care about and pay attention to what your friend is sharing. It is based on the ability to maintain comfortable body language, avoid giving unnecessary judgment or advice, and show interest in what the other person is saying.
- Occasionally summarize what the other person has said. This helps them know that you are listening to them.
- Feeling sorry. Empathy is very important in active listening. If a friend has negative feelings towards you or anyone else, acknowledge these feelings instead of suspecting them.
- For example, if they are being pressured by work, listen until they have finished talking. Then, recap and show sympathy by saying, "I know you are under pressure right now and I understand that such workload can lead to stress."
Avoid interrupting. Maybe you have questions when they're talking or they remind you of their story. However, avoid interrupting while a friend is talking. This shows that you respect what they want to share.
- If there is something you really want to say but the other person is still talking, take note. Make a mental note of yourself, or write down a few words on a piece of paper to remind you of your point of view.
Advice
- Be honest when you talk to your friends. You don't have to agree with them or do what they want to be an easygoing person. You only need to respect them when expressing your own opinion.
