Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Forgiveness is a necessary action. If you can forgive honestly and effectively, you will change your thinking, feeling, and way of life. Taking challenges with a "I can do" attitude will motivate you to cope. By taking action, changing your mind, transforming your emotions, and seeking guidance from a multitude of valuable sources, you will forgive others and yourself.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Initiation of Action

1. 

   Proactive contact. As life gets hectic, it is often difficult to stay connected with friends. When a conflict occurs that makes people apart, that distance makes the relationship more difficult to heal. If you want to forgive someone, take the first step by extending your hand. This will help you feel more open and optimistic.
   • Taking the first step is always difficult, and sometimes you need to push yourself.Simply say to yourself "Come on", then pick up the phone and call.

2. 

   
   
   Ask the other person to listen. Whether you decide to schedule a face-to-face meeting or talk over the phone or electronic devices, it's all for one purpose: to want the other person to give you time to express your thoughts and feelings. I am about the conflict that happened.
   • Make the other person reassure that you are open and ready to hear them. This will make the other person feel more open about the upcoming conversation.
   • If the person refuses to meet, don't be disappointed. There are several things you can do towards forgiveness, whether the other person agrees or not. Making arrangements for the forgiveness process ultimately helps. Write a letter instead of a face-to-face way to express how you feel and think about the other person. Journaling will help you express your feelings and be effective.
   • Journaling can help reduce anxiety and stress, as it's a healthy relief for feelings of confusion and stuffiness.

3. 

   
   
   Discuss the problem. Some life discussions seem more difficult than usual. When conflict has arisen and negative emotions arise, it can be difficult to initiate a conversation. The aim now is to arrange the conversation and lead to a peaceful solution to the hurts and disappointments in your heart.
   • First, thank the person for agreeing to meet you.
   • Second, tell the person your goal is to let the two of you hear each other's story and come up with a peaceful solution, so that you both can move on.
   • Third, tell your story in detail, in which you communicate your feelings and thoughts.
   • Fourth, ask the other person if there is anything they want you to explain before they tell their story.
   • Fifth, ask questions that can provide you with the information needed to understand their purpose, motivations, thoughts and feelings.

4. 

   
   
   Sorry about your part. Almost every conflict involves misunderstanding and misinterpretation of the other party's actions and words. There are a few things you need to do to make the situation less stressful. Taking responsibility on your part encourages an open discussion, and it is also necessary to come up with a solution.

5. 

   Accept the appologize. If the other person makes a sincere apology during the conversation, accept it. Even if you are forced to say "I accept your apology", this is still a big step toward feeling forgiving inside you.
   • Accepting an apology can be difficult. If you are doing your best to forgive someone, you can say, "I accept your apology, I'm trying to forgive too, but it takes time."

6. 

   Show ready to step forward. If you want to, or be forced to, maintain a relationship with the person, your behavior should show that you are being serious. Your relationship will improve if you go through forgiveness. This process includes not keeping hatred in your heart and not digging into the past. In addition, your willingness to laugh and joke with the person is also a factor in forgiving. Leaving conflict left behind will give you a great deal of relief. Use that as the motivation to move towards an equitable and assertive way of thinking.
   • As time goes by and things have progressed, you may find that you still let feelings of betrayal affect the way you treat the other person, manifest in arguing and heated arguments. You may not have been able to deal with your feelings of hurt yet, and so there is still some work to be done. This is a normal response and you can respond by telling your feelings to an insider or to another person.
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Method 2 of 3: Change Your Thoughts and Emotions

1. 

   Practice compassion and compassion. Empathy and compassion are two qualities that can be learned. As with any new skill, it takes practice. If you can treat people the way you want you to be treated, then you're half the way.
   • Take advantage of the opportunity to practice compassion in public. If you see someone struggling with the door at the store entrance, run over and help them open the door. If someone seems upset, smile at them and say hello. Your goal is to let people feel the impact of your good gestures.
   • Expand empathy by talking and most importantly listen people outside of your communication area. Try to talk to a stranger every week. Go beyond the usual social questions to ask about their lives and experiences (with a respectful attitude). This will broaden your worldview and help you understand others better.

2. 

   Get rid of your negative emotions. Fear, insecurity and lack of communication are the causes of traumatic behavior. Some people don't understand why they act in a certain way, because they have not yet discovered the inner workings of their own behavior. This cannot justify the person's behavior.
   • Tell yourself that it is not your responsibility to help or transform the person into a fully grown person. Wish them all the best and don't let that stop you from moving toward forgiveness.
   • Try to find out what happened and why the person acted. You can talk to that person or with someone you trust. Alternatively, you can go online, to the bookstore or library to find out about the problem. Knowledge is power and the study of the underlying motivations of human behavior is interesting.

3. 

   Ask questions and change your outlook. You may be assuming that the other person acted wrongly with you in the situation. In many cases, people often have a bias in their outlook, and a return to balance is necessary. It is important that you put the evidence in your perspective, especially if it hurts yourself.
   • If your mind gets stuck with the thought of that conflict, it will certainly take up a lot of your time. Questions such as: if compared with the dire situation between life and death, would it be that big? Isn't it worth paying attention to it all day long, which took the time to enjoy my life? Think about your responses, decide to change your perception, and not let the conflict take over your mind.
   • Maybe you avoid going to social events with people you like just because you don't want to see someone who betrayed or hurt you. This decision prevents you from interacting with the people you love, robbing you of your enjoyable experience. Be brave and accept an invitation to attend. You don't have to talk to the other person when you get there; But if you do happen to meet, you should also be polite and refrain from any false responses.

4. 

   Change your thoughts from anger to comfort. The truth is anger only harms you because you are harboring negative feelings about another person. To combat feelings of anger, turn it into a sense of serenity. The lighter you feel, the lower your anger level will be. Your reward will be in a better mood and you will be appreciated by others. Responding to the following questions will help change your mind and make you less angry:
   • How do I feel when I think negatively about that person?
   • Do I want to hurt myself?
   • Will my thoughts only hurt the other person?
   • Your answer will probably be: annoyed, no and no. Based on these responses you create a more pleasant response: I deserve to feel optimistic, to take care of myself positively and protect myself from harm.

5. 

   Make a list of the benefits of letting go of anger. Dispel the things that are dragging you behind. Some people insist on holding onto their anger, acting as the victim, and letting it affect many aspects of their lives.Such people believe they are victims of the other's actions, even when there is evidence to the contrary.
   • Ask yourself if you belong to that type of person. If the answer is yes, you need to correct that behavior.
   • The process of relieving feelings related to a conflict involves: identifying the negative feeling, then looking at the benefits you can gain by getting rid of it. For example, you will feel comfortable, relieved, able to focus on good things, let go of anger, feel like life is back on track. The goal here is to find a wealth of evidence that your life would be better if you let go and move on.

6. 

   Don't give up the effort. If you try to forget something but it continues to nibble on your heart, then you need to deal with the situation more. Talk to a close friend or family member, write it down, or go on a picnic to let the physical activity release your emotions.
   • It can be frustrating when someone tells you, "stop it," if you haven't reached the level of resolving the problem. Take a deep breath and say, "I'm trying to get over here, but I haven't done it yet."

7. 

   Participate in interesting activities. You can learn to let go by rediscovering your own pleasures. When you have fun playing, you will get rid of the negative thoughts about your disagreement still lingering in you.
   • For example, you can go to the beach and fly a kite. This game requires careful attention, giving you a sense of joy and satisfaction when you have flown a kite. It is a magical entertainment that makes you look at the situation differently. People often say, smiles are ten tonic scales. Playing and having fun can help you stay optimistic and positive in difficult situations.
   • Schedule at least once a week to hang out and have some fun.

8. 

   Release your anger. Anger and frustration are unhealthy. Treating anger with physical activity or artistic activity are good options to cut anger, reduce stress, and reduce anxiety. Anger needs to be released when it comes to forgiveness.
   • Consider running, hiking, or weight training to drain the energy you've used to cultivate the discomfort. Physical exercise will help circulate blood in your body and increase the amount of endorphins, a hormone that promotes happiness and relieves pain.
   • Practice meditation alone or in groups. Meditation has been used for centuries in many cultures to overcome the negative thoughts that make you angry and to cultivate positive ones.
   • Painting, sculpting or creating a digital work are all useful activities to help you shift your focus to artistic creation so you can handle your anger.

9. 

   Rebuilding trust. When we let someone else in our lives, we take risks. Those people may betray the trust everyone has built together. An essential part of forgiving is allowing the person to regain your trust.
   • Allow the person to show that they are trustworthy, honest, and sincere. Give your ex a chance to prove it to you. By giving a little, you can get many positive rewards in return.
   • For example, accept his movie invitation. This way people will have a chance to arrive on time, pamper you and have a good time. If you are not willing to accept his invitation, how can you witness his sincere efforts to regain your trust?
   • If the woman has lied about where he is, ask him to let you know by text or call you to tell you where he is.
   • Remember to acknowledge when people are making an effort to regain trust in you. You can tell him that you acknowledge all of his efforts.

10. 

    Appreciate the lessons learned. Every person and opportunity that comes into your life can give you lessons about something. Every experience makes us wiser and more understanding of what we expect in life. We learn from both the good and the bad.
    • Sit down and make a list of the things you have learned from the situation you are dealing with. You may have learned not to underwrite a friend with a bad financial record. You may also learn that some people prefer to party rather than pay their rent; Or those roommates are so lazy and indiscriminate that you can't get your security deposit back.
    • Don't forget to write about every positive thing that happened. People often only see the negative side of being absorbed in suffering; But no situation is entirely bad. Perhaps you should learn to communicate when choosing a roommate to make sure they have the same study habits and housework skills as you. That will help you to have more peaceful situations later in life.
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Method 3 of 3: Get Help

1. 

   Find a therapist. If you have a hard time forgiving someone and this is negatively affecting your life, you may need to seek professional help from a counselor or therapist at this time. There are forgiving therapies that have been successful in helping people overcome past hurts, find peace, and find solutions to problems.
   • Get a referral or recommendation from a trusted doctor, family member or friend. But if you find it inconvenient, contact your local mental health department to inquire about counseling options.
   • If you feel like a therapist is not right for you, find another one. Each professional is different, and finding someone who makes you feel comfortable is essential.
   • Find a cognitive behavioral therapist. They will check and dispel the negative thoughts that are growing in your mind ..
   • Consider seeking spiritual counseling. Many people find it comforting to seek help from spiritual leaders who can lead you to forgiveness. The power of prayer that can heal and alleviate feelings of guilt and shame - motivates people to seek forgiveness for a variety of reasons.

2. 

   Set therapeutic goals. Determine to change your behavior. Setting goals can help you with mental and physical therapy. Participate in therapy by allowing yourself to be open and weak. Don't give up just because the treatment becomes difficult. Your efforts will pay off, and you will have a feeling of refreshment and contentment.
   • Identify your goals. For example, would you like to feel more at ease with a family member who once betrayed you? Let the therapist know that is one of your goals.
   • Reward yourself every time you reach your goal. You will be more motivated if you reward yourself for your accomplishments.
   • Adjust your goals instead of giving up.
   • Continue to set new goals so that you can keep busy in your life.

3. 

   Strengthen support system. Always be with the people who care about you; Be it family, friends or co-workers. Reach out to meet new people and expand your support group. Through the process of therapy, you will learn a lot that make you feel resourceful and confident. A good support system will help reduce stress and possibly even boost your immune system.
   • Discovering things that interest you can help you join groups, allow you to meet new people and experience new situations.

4. 

   Forgive and accept yourself. Struggling with yourself can leave you feeling bad about yourself. You may feel guilty for not taking care of yourself in a situation, or you may blame yourself for what happened unfairly. You can learn to control guilt and shame instead of eliminating those feelings.
   • If you decide to participate in cognitive behavioral therapy, this therapy will help you examine your thoughts and develop other more effective ways of thinking about yourself.
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Advice

• Sometimes it helps to know that there are people who forgive in unbelievable situations. Ask friends for support and ask about examples of examples to help motivate you to forgive.
• Studies show: forgiveness depends on whether people believe they still have to have relationships with the wrongdoer. You can then decide whether to forgive or not.
• It's never too late to seek professional help if you want. Change is not easy, but it is possible if you are willing to put in the effort and figure out how to cope with challenges.
• Licensed therapists are trained to help people control the internal struggles affecting their lives.
• Being honest and sincere when apologizing helps people to have more opportunities to be forgiven.
• If you have served in the military and have witnessed things that are not in the way of your moral opinion, you can learn self-forgiveness skills through therapy.
• Use up your mental energy (perhaps the first thing in the morning) to visualize the new life you desire. Imagine yourself in a future free from pain and suffering.

Warning

• Forgiving is difficult, but living in hatred is even more difficult. Indulging in anger can be very dangerous and can hurt others in ways you cannot imagine.
• Certain mental illnesses may prevent forgiveness. A person with a personality disorder can never feel guilty or ashamed of their wrongdoing, but these are the two factors that motivate forgiveness.
• Unconditional forgiveness does not rely on any action or request of the offender. Forgiveness is designed to free you from the anger, sadness, and disappointment that causes your suffering.