Content

• Steps
• Advice

Everything has also come to an end: Love is no exception. While forgetting the one you love now seems impossible, don't worry: There is always light at the end of the road. As time passes, with appropriate measures, the pain will gradually subside and you will return to being yourself.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Discharge your heart out

1. 

   Don't hold back your emotions. Cry loudly. Yelled into the pillow. Quarrel with the wall. In the first stage of forgetting someone, you will feel great pain.You need to accept these feelings in order to truly get rid of them and move forward.
   • Research has shown that pain transmitted back to the brain is treated as real pain. The brain's response to internal pain is almost the same as it is to quitting drug addiction. However, the best way to overcome this pain is to overcome those feelings.
   • There is no use in denying it. Even if you try to ignore it, those bad feelings cannot go away. That only increases the risk of an outbreak later on.
   • If you are the type to need physical relief, consider going to a wellness session or vent your frustrations on a practice sandbag or dummy.

2. 

   
   
   Resist the urge to feel angry. Part of you may feel angry. That is understandable, but you should avoid covering up or disguising your pain with anger. In fact, anger can make you feel less vulnerable, help you feel in control and give you the motivation to move forward. However, the only way to overcome your grief and accept your current situation is to let yourself feel the other emotions hidden by anger.
   • Anger is just an accompanying emotion. Emotions that are hidden by your anger can be frustration, ignored, thrown out, unloved, and rejected. All of these feelings hurt you and you used your anger to soothe yourself.
   • To find the true feelings behind your anger, listen to what you say to yourself. If you tell yourself, "No one will love you anymore," it can represent a feeling of being discarded or not being loved. Pay attention to your thoughts during the day to identify other emotions you are experiencing.
   • In addition, anger is often obsessive. If you keep blaming your ex or the person you like with your friend or remember every little "mistake" that person made, your thoughts will always be filled with images of that person. In other words, anger will only keep you in place instead of moving forward.

3. 

   
   
   Please pamper yourself. From buying yourself a box of chocolates or ice cream directly in the box. Buy a brand-name handbag or electronics that you've been looking for for months. Go to Spa or have lunch at the new restaurant that everyone praised. Because you are having a hard time, there is nothing too much to feel like when you feel the need to pamper yourself for a boost.
   • People always feel cravings for comfort foods when they are sad. Research has shown that deliberate indulgence is usually harmless as long as you are limited and not indifferent to your own health.
   • That means you should set limits for yourself. If you get into debt, stock up on junk food, or gain about 18 pounds, that will only make you feel more miserable. Indulging yourself in your own power and staying away from unhealthy things is more like self-destruction than saving yourself.

4. 

   
   
   Listening to music. You may want to listen to love songs. Contrary to popular belief, listening to sad music will not make you feel any worse. In fact, such music makes you feel like someone is sharing your pain, and you're not alone. Plus, if you cry while singing along to the song, you will be able to release your emotions in a healthy way. When the song ends, you will feel a lot better.
   • Science has proven that listening to music has a healing effect. It can reduce heart rate and relieve stress.

5. 

   Let yourself feel numb. After you finish crying, you may end up feeling numb or "dumbfounded." Do not worry. That is a perfectly normal response.
   • Usually, the feeling of numbness is caused by exhaustion. Crying, as well as other energetic emotions, can leave you completely exhausted, both physically and mentally. Therefore, once you have dealt with these feelings, you will not have the strength to feel anything else.

6. 

   Talking with friends. Your best friend's shoulders are where you can lean on. Sometimes, talking to your friends is the best way to get the most out of your emotions and move on. A friend can help you feel that what you're going through is normal. In addition, exposing your frustrations outward can help you understand and deal with them more easily.
   • A friend who can give you helpful advice is a great way to share your troubles, but any friend who is willing to listen to you can be of little help. Sharing your feelings is just as important as dealing with current problems.

   

   Crisis Text Line

   Crisis Text Line 24/7 Crisis Advisory Service provides 24/7 crisis resolution by SMS. People in crisis can text 741741 to connect with a Crisis Advisor. They have sent more than 100 million messages to crisis people across the US and the service is growing rapidly.

   

   Crisis Text Line
   24/7 Crisis Advisory Service

   Give yourself time if you still find it difficult to talk about your relationship. Crisis Text Line consultant advises, “Talking openly with others about your personal relationships is not easy, and you need to be more brave. Try saying what you plan to say before talking to a friend or loved one about the sensitive issue. Either write down what you are going to say to avoid being forgotten, or ask them to take a moment to talk to you. Remember, you should only do this when you are ready. It doesn't matter if you need more time to think. ”

7. 

   Write diary. If you don't want to disturb your friends too much or feel uncomfortable sharing something with anyone, write them down. It can also help release the emotions you're repressing. There are many mental benefits to journaling. It helps us to understand our own thoughts and feelings and resolve disagreements (by writing about them from someone else's point of view).
   • You can use a journal to express feelings or events that you don't have the courage to share with others.

8. 

   Limit the amount of time you spend in your sadness. You need to let yourself be sad, but you also need to understand that at a certain point you will have to force yourself to move on. It is not good to let a broken relationship prevent you from thriving in other areas of your life. Give yourself time, but don't hesitate to go back and live your life to the fullest.
   • Please set a relative date or time frame in advance. Give yourself about half the time you spend in love and your ex or the time you pursue the person you like. During this time, feel sullen as you want. Then, force yourself to move on even if you still feel sad.
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Part 2 of 3: Breaking Relationships

1. 

   Avoid unnecessary contact. This means no phone calls, no emails, and no "accidentally" meeting the person while he or she is jogging somewhere as usual. If you want to forget someone, you need to set some distance between the two of you to give yourself a chance to heal.
   • Of course, this will be very difficult if the two of you are colleagues or classmates. In this case, the best thing to do is limit your interactions with other things except what is absolutely essential to your everyday life. You don't have to change your life just to avoid someone you want to forget, but you shouldn't be intentionally involved with them either.

   

   Amy Chan

   Founder, Renew Breakup Bootcamp Amy Chan is the founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, which offers a scientific and spiritual training course to heal emotional problems. She has helped hundreds of individuals for over 2 years. Her first book, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published by HarperCollins in January 2020.

   

   Amy Chan
   Founder, Renew Breakup Bootcamp

   Your brain takes time to accept that your ex is gone. Amy Chan, founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, said: "When you date someone, your brain gets used to taking up the happy hormone dopamine when interacting with them. nerves have to be reconstructed to get used to the fact that you are no longer dating that person Over time, if you do not have contact with your ex, these pathways in the nervous system will weaken. However, every time you meet them, reread old messages, or view their social media pages, you are activating old connections in the nervous system.’

2. 

   Stop tracking on the electronic media. Stop checking Facebook, Twitter, Blog, Pinterest or any social account related to him or her. Finding out what the person is up to will only make it harder for you to move on with your life.
   • If you can't resist the urge to follow the person's social media accounts while still on your friends or followers list, unfriend or unfollow that person.
   • If the person has ever given you his or her password, ask them to change it to eliminate your urge to spy on or snoop on.

3. 

   Never get close to the person physically and mentally. Being with the person can make you feel comfortable and even more comfortable. But continuing emotionally close to your ex is not a good idea, because you will have to go through the painful process again later.
   • Don't sleep with your ex for "old love" or become "non-binding partners" with your crush.
   • In fact, "forgetting" someone is not easy for both sexes, but it is especially terrible for women. Physical attachment causes women to produce Oxytocin, a hormone that increases feelings of intimacy and love. So if you do, you won't be able to "get them out of your mind". You will only feel more attached to the person than before.
   • Being emotionally close is just as dangerous even though the two of you were emotionally intimate before. This type of connection is on a deeper level, making it difficult to break up with your ex.

4. 

   Throw away any objects that remind you of the person. Even if you cut off connections and avoid communicating with someone you want to forget, it may still be difficult to move on if your room is filled with objects that remind you of that person. .
   • Usually, the best way is to put all of them in the box and put it away until you have the courage to move on. Instead of throwing it away, you can also return certain items to the person like CDs, movies, etc.
   • In fact, no matter how desperate you are, you shouldn't throw away or even burn those things to free yourself. When something is gone, it's gone forever. If you regret throwing away an expensive wristwatch or burning an autographed photo of your favorite singer you went to see with your ex, you may still regret later. that.

5. 

   Reconnect when you're ready. Contrary to what you might think, it's possible to be friends with someone you once loved. If you can't be friends, then at least the two of you can respect each other enough to sit in the same room without looking at each other with bullet-shaped eyes.
   • Do not force yourself to resume the relationship. If you can't forget the pain and resuming the relationship makes it so difficult, you don't need to.
   • Only begin to resume your relationship when you have fully accepted the truth and no longer have any attachment to the person. Experts recommend that you initiate the grieving process and avoid seeing the person for a while. After that, sit down and talk honestly about their friendship.
   • Limit your efforts. Try expanding your friendship once. If this doesn't work, accept that resuming the relationship isn't possible and moving on.
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Part 3 of 3: Enjoying Life and The Next Step

1. 

   Away from home. Go for a walk. Traveling. Explore famous or even lesser known mysterious lands. It's important to get out of bed and get on with your life no matter how sad you want to stay in bed and watch movies.
   • Dynamic. Physical activity is one of the best things you can do in the process of trying to forget someone. Conversely, lying on a chair day after day can make you feel even more upset about yourself.

2. 

   Go out with friends. Friends can be of great help in forgetting about someone, even if you cry over their shoulder. When you need to feel sympathy and let go of your grief for the moment, a good night out with your best friend can be a great remedy.
   • Your friend may also be grateful, especially if you haven't been interested in them for a long time because you are busy in love or pursuing someone you like.
   • However, avoid letting your friends force you to have a new relationship before you feel ready.

3. 

   Meet new people. This may seem extremely difficult, but it can also have a huge effect on your recovery. By getting to know new people, you will show yourself that there are many more people who can adore and love you. Likewise, you may also find that there are many other options available to you.
   • New friends are like new objects. Sometimes a new relationship is much better because it doesn't have much pressure and you won't have to worry about falling in love.

4. 

   Love yourself first. Above all, understand that no matter what others feel or think, you deserve to be loved. Make a list of the things you like about yourself: your smile, your witty comments, your endless passion for books, etc. Make sure you nurture the things you love most about yourself whenever you enter a new relationship.
   • Spend time doing things you enjoy, especially things you barely do during your time with your ex or trying to impress your crush.
   • Avoid blaming all mistakes on your shoulders. Understand that the two of you are simply not meant for each other. It's not your fault or you don't deserve to be loved.

5. 

   Do not rush. Never force yourself into a new date. Only do this when you are ready, someday, and trust yourself to know when you feel ready to love someone again.
   • Forcing yourself to start a patchy or quick relationship will only make you feel worse, especially when you realize that you are already close to someone you have no feelings for.
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Advice

• The suggestions above are related to ways to forget your crush on your own as well as your ex.
• The most important thing is to remember that it takes time to get over things. Keep yourself busy and take care of yourself regularly. You won't be crying, hurting, or thinking about the person before you know it.