Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Relationships are different, but every couple quarrels at times. People who can stay together for a long time will often find a way to make up and move on. If you don't want to pretend a fight never happened and wait for the stress to go away, learn how to openly and sanely make up.

Steps

1. 

   Carefully analyze the cause of the argument. There is a saying: "You guys are not arguing for the reason you think". You all seem to be arguing about money, sex or anything else, but often there is a feeling that lies under the hood, and you don't even realize it. Recognizing your root feelings will help you calm down and make up with your ex. Some of the more common and controversial sensations include:
   • Unworthy. You don't feel like you're good enough, and you can't believe that he or she will want to be with someone like "you" - at least for the long term.
   • The fear of being abandoned. You worry that he or she will leave you - literally, perhaps because he or she cheated on you or became distant. However, being alone for a short period of time after an argument is good. It will help both sides calm down before saying any hurtful things.
   • Feeling of being taken lightly. You feel that you are not being appreciated, or even taken advantage of.

2. 

   
   
   Say what works best for you in just one sentence. Learn how to communicate without using violence. Tell the person something like: "I get scared when you talk to another girl", or "I'm angry because I can't afford this stuff", so you can get straight to the point. core and help your significant other understand your feelings without having to argue.

3. 

   
   
   Responsibility. Are you angry at that person? Are you trying to control the outcome of the argument? Does manipulating the situation make it easier for you to achieve your goals than it is to say it outright? We all do the above to some extent. If you can find a way to accept your responsibility in the fight and don't have to blame yourself or the person, you will open up a different conversation.

4. 

   
   
   Always yield. Sometimes, if you can apologize for something you did (even if you didn't "start" it at all), you will calm the person down and he may apologize to you too. Say something like: "I don't want things to turn out like this, I'm sorry. Can we stop arguing, cool off and try again, on the condition that this time it must be calmer?" Remember: don't apologize for something you didn't do just to get the argument over. Be sincere.

5. 

   Give up being right. Wishing to win the fight is the best way to endlessly quarrel. This is a situation that doesn't benefit anyone and it will keep you from connecting with your ex. There is a saying: "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?"

6. 

   Let the person learn in their own way. You just have to control yourself and your own pace of learning. If the person doesn't understand, you can't force them to see things your way. Every argument contains a lot of information for both sides, but you cannot "force" someone to judge everything from your point of view. Maybe they understand, or they won't.
   • If you are expecting an apology but the person won't say it, try to forgive them. If you humbly do this, you will show that you accept the other's flaws and they will become less defensive. Example: After briefly expressing your feelings (as described above), say, "I know you don't want to hurt me by forgetting our anniversary. I'm sad, but I want to believe you didn't do it on purpose, and you'll remember next time.

7. 

   Respect that person. The earlier you two feel happy and relieved, the better. Successful relationships all follow the formula of 5 parts respect and 1 part criticism. When you recognize and express the things you like about the person and yourself, and the way you are together, it stimulates a positive feeling about the relationship. If you still feel unhappy about everything, start with yourself.

8. 

   Set limits. If you've just had a serious argument, maybe you should set a limit and a condition for this relationship. For example: "I promise I won't call you with bad names anymore". Or "I want us to agree on an argument without shouting at each other". advertisement

Advice

• Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a choice, an intentional act, not a feeling.
• Talk calmly and listen to each other to prevent the quarrel from happening again.
• During the healing process, always be calm and discerning. Remember that your only goal is to make things better and to be happier you two.
• If they say they need their own space and don't want to say anything now, leave them alone so they can both calmly think.
• Learn from the quarrel. Is this quarrel the same as the previous arguments? If the two of you are still arguing about the same issue, you may have allowed the dull problem to persist for a long time without realizing it. What lessons can you learn from them? If you and your ex are constantly arguing over the same issue, and one or both cannot find a common voice (e.g. one wants a child and the other doesn't), the relationship between two you may not be a destined love.
• Do not bribe them with sex or in any other way. This action was of no use and could easily lead to a different fight.
• If you feel like you always have to give up, or if the quarrel often ends with your own pleading for forgiveness (even if you believe you've done nothing wrong), you might want to find a way to judge the relationship. Is this manipulative or controlling.
• Always listen to them. If you don't, another brawl will reappear.
• Always open to forgiveness.
• Do your best to assess the problem objectively and see if you need to change anything.
• We will not live forever. Always remember that for every second of sadness, our life shortens a little.
• Become the person you want them to be. Set an example for them.

Warning

• No one will win if the two of you end the fight and become distant.