Content

• Steps
• Advice

Life is unpredictable and we all face many challenges and problems. Sometimes we ask about our past and think about what would have happened if things turned out differently. These thoughts can haunt and prevent us from making an effort in life. Clinging to the past can lead to anxiety and depression.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Processing emotions

1. 

   Show pain. There are many causes of suffering in life. Perhaps you made a mistake, regretted a decision, and missed out on opportunities, hurting someone, or being hurt by someone. Instead of remembering the past over and over again, free it.
   • Express yourself by journaling, talking to a trusted friend or family member, or talking to a counselor.
   • If your pain involves someone, talk to that person about your feelings or write them a letter. If you don't want to contact them, you can write a letter, but never send that letter to them.
   • Showing your feelings about the past can also help you understand how you really feel about a situation.

2. 

   
   
   Accept the decision. Whenever you make a decision, you agree to take one chance and turn another. It's easy to sit down and ask "what if", but that only leads to disappointment. Visualizing the scenarios will not change what happened. Instead of thinking about what could or could not happen if you made another choice, focus on the present and what could be done now.
   • Accept the past that has happened and you may or may not feel proud of the past. But now that's part of the story.
   • Tell yourself: "I made that decision in the past. I understood what I was doing then. Now that I think about it, maybe it would be better if I ____. However, I can't predict it. results, but it will help me in the future if I encounter similar situations ".

3. 

   
   
   Decided to give up the past. Once you have expressed pain, wisely decide to give up on it. Although you cannot change the past, you can choose not to cling to it and move forward. When you choose to give up on the past, you proactively move forward instead of becoming a victim of being hurt by the past.
   • Say to yourself: "I accept myself and the past. I choose to rise from the past." Or "The past doesn't define who I am. I choose to move forward."
   • Decide is your everyday choice. You may need to talk to yourself about moving forward each morning until you have truly made it through the past.

4. 

   
   
   Think about what you have learned. The past is an opportunity for you to learn and accumulate knowledge. Experience can help you get to know yourself, other people, or life in general. Sit back and think about the positive and negative things you've learned, but focus more on the helpful lessons.
   • It's okay if you have a hard time thinking about something positive you've learned.
   • It helps to create lists of positive and negative lessons learned.
   • For example, a failed relationship in the past may have shown you the personality (like more patience, cuter, etc.), that you expect from your partner later.

5. 

   Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and regrets. Past is past. It is not something happening or is guaranteed to happen in the future. You are more important than your past. The past does not define who you are. Forgive yourself and allow you to make a constant effort in your life.
   • Write yourself a letter detailing what happened, what you could have done differently, why it influenced your decision at the time, and how you feel about yourself. End the letter with forgiveness for yourself and appreciate who you are.
   • Tell yourself: "I forgive myself", "I love myself", and "I accept myself".

6. 

   Forgive others. Maybe someone hurt you in the past and continued to bring that painful situation back to life in your mind. You can't change the way the person treats you, but you can choose to forgive. Forgiveness is accepting what happened to you and deciding to let go of your anger and pain so you can move forward. Forgiveness is about yourself, not the person who hurt you.
   • Check out what role you played in the circumstances, if any. Practice empathy and consider other people's perspectives and motivations. This may help you to understand the situation better.
   • You can only control yourself and your emotions. Give someone the option to forgive. You can chat with them, write to them, or write letters and never send that letter to them.
   • Forgiveness is an overnight process.

7. 

   Stay away from negative relationships. There are many negative people in your life that prevent you from developing your energies and progress. A person is viewed as negative if you feel threatened, bad or embarrassed around them, feeling exhausted or frustrated after interacting with them, negatively affected by personal drama. of them, or often make an effort to help them or repair them. It is important that you choose to take control of or remove these relationships from your life.
   • If you keep negative people in your life, set personal boundaries to protect you from their behavior.
   • Tell them how you feel about their behavior by saying, "When you ___, I feel ____. I need ____. I share my feelings with you because _____."

8. 

   Seek a consultant. If you need help dealing with your past, a counselor or doctor can help you deal with your emotions. An expert trained to listen, help you solve problems, and provide tools to help you stay more active. Find an authorized therapist, comfort you, and experience handling problems.
   • If you have health insurance, contact your medical provider for a list of mental health professionals. You can also request a referral from your primary health insurance company.
   • In the US, for example, if you do not have health insurance, you can contact the Partnership for Prescription Awareness Assistance to find a free or low-cost clinic near you.
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Method 2 of 3: Change your mind

1. 

   Adjust your thoughts. Memories of the past will occasionally appear. The more you try not to think about the past, the more you will think about it. Instead of trying to resist thoughts, acknowledge and correct them.
   • Make a plan what you will say to yourself when that thought comes up. If you started thinking about the past, what would you do?
   • If thoughts of the past arise, tell yourself: "Okay. It's the past, but for now I need to focus on _______".

2. 

   Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness will help you focus on the moment and control your thoughts better. The ability to focus on thoughts at will will help to bid farewell to the past. Practice mindfulness exercises when you find yourself clinging to the past.
   • Focusing on the breath is one of the most common mindfulness exercises. Notice all bodily sensations as you inhale and exhale. How do you see the air moving as you inhale and exhale through your nostrils? What about the lungs? Notice the chest lift.
   • Commitment to practicing mindfulness every day. Regular exercise can help improve your mood and reduce negative thoughts.

3. 

   Set time limits for thinking about the past. If you can't stop thinking about the past, try to limit the amount of time you spend with them. Choose a certain time (like 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes) and the hour of the day that you will allow yourself to think about in the past. Choose a time of day when you are normally comfortable.
   • For example, lets think about the past from 5:00 pm-5:00pm every night.
   • If you think about the past outside of this timeframe, tell yourself that this is not the time and that you will face it later.

4. 

   Challenge thinking about the past. When you cling to the past, you may have an irrational and distorted vision of what really happened (like "it's all my fault," I'm a bad person, "etc.). you begin to accept those thoughts as true and true.If you start to challenge your thoughts as they arise, you can develop a more objective perspective.
   • Is there a more positive way of looking at the situation?
   • Is there any evidence that proves my thinking is correct? Or prove it wrong?
   • What would I say to my friends in this situation?
   • Are these thoughts helpful?
   • Will clinging to the past help me or harm me?
   • Instead of saying to yourself "This is too hard", say "I can try it", or "Let me handle it the other way".
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Method 3 of 3: Participate in healthy activities

1. 

   Distract yourself. When you actively participate in an activity you enjoy, you will not focus on the past. Add more activities and people to your life to say goodbye to the past. Find a new hobby (like painting, crafts, sports, acting, etc.), spend time with family and friends, read books, or watch movies. Do whatever activities you enjoy that make you feel great about yourself.
   • Make exciting activities a part of your life.
   • Activities that require your full attention (like cooking, playing crosswords) or forcing you to focus on something more than yourself (like taking care of a pet, babysitting, etc.) are especially helpful. in focus navigation.

2. 

   Do exercise. Exercise releases endorphins (a hormone that makes you feel good) and stimulates the nervous system. Try to exercise for 30 minutes or more each day. Exercises that involve arms and legs (like walking, running, swimming, dancing, etc.) are best.
   • Focus on your body and how it moves when you exercise.
   • Listen to your favorite music while exercising.
   • Try going out with your friends and seeing it as a social activity.

3. 

   Get rid of the triggers in your life. You may find that certain things make you cling to the past. Listen to certain music, visit certain landmarks, or watch some genre of movies, etc. can make you think about the past. Changing some of these behaviors can help you move forward.
   • For example, if sad or slow tempo music makes you think about the past, change and listen to a different genre of music.
   • If you find that you tend to be haunted by your bedtime past, change your routine by reading a book or journal before going to bed.
   • These changes may or may not be permanent. You will be able to do some of these things over and over again once you stop thinking about the past too much.

4. 

   Create a plan for the future. If you keep looking into the future, you won't have time to dwell on the past. Make a list of things for which you are grateful, for what you expect, and for what you want to do. Include planned events and new plans.
   • Your future plans don't have to be too high. It could be as simple as going to dinner with a friend next week.
   • When creating your future plans, write down everything you need to achieve your goals.
   • Focus on your strengths and what you like about yourself.
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Advice

• Learning how to quit is a process and takes time. There will be failures, but keep on trying.