How to deal with someone who is yelling at you

Author: John Stephens
Date Of Creation: 24 January 2021
Update Date: 1 July 2024
Anonim
6 Best Way To Deal With Someone Yelling At You
Video: 6 Best Way To Deal With Someone Yelling At You

Content

Being scolded is certainly not a pleasant experience. When someone yells loudly, your normal response is probably feeling intimidated, intimidated, and humiliated. However, the key to dealing with the shouting is seeing a failure in the person's communication. Fortunately, the person who loses control is not you, and that means you can take steps to control your emotions and open up other ways to interact more effectively.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Stay calm

  1. Compulsive feeling of wanting to scream again. The less you respond to agitation, the better you will be able to use judgment to handle situations. When you are challenged or frustrated by someone, take a deep breath and count slowly to 10 before any words or actions that you may later regret.
    • This includes all forms of combat or defense. The act of yelling is just an easy and passive response rather than an active one.
    • Criticism of someone who is screaming or challenging what they say will only excite them. Furthermore, we will not be able to think clearly while being scolded. It is because we are being pushed into a state of fear.

  2. Consider your options. Just because you've been scolded by someone doesn't mean you're completely stuck in the situation. This is true in many situations, whether the person screaming is a stranger in line, your boss or a relative. So, take a few seconds away from the present to think about whether you should take the fight or not.
    • You may decide to endure because the reaction is not worth your job loss, but you may also want to choose another option if the screaming is likely to recur, or if the person is not so important that you should suffer.
    • Research shows that scolding is ineffective and only harmful even when considered "whip-love". This means that no matter what the scolder's intentions are, the treatment is never considered good, or even unacceptable.

  3. Avoid tolerating scolding. When we scold, we can't find a way to deal with it and must resort to that harsh form. If you give in to what the person wants, you are accepting that type of communication.
    • If you find yourself silently looking for gaps in the other person's arguments and making a mental objection, allow yourself to do so. Maybe it's your way of telling yourself that you are in control and in control of a situation. However, you need to be careful not to focus too much on your thoughts and lose your ability to observe.

  4. Distract yourself. Allow yourself to get out of your current situation to make sure you're not overly sensitive and treat it as a personal attack. The best way to do this without losing present sense is to understand the screaming person. Focus on the misery and tension on the person's face. Instead of listening to the words of the screaming person, look at the despair and frustration they are expressing.
    • Remember that you do not accept screamers. You only understand to see the sympathetic part of the person when you react.
    • Make up as you can, but don't overdo it or make false peace. This can add fuel to the fire because the person may interpret your actions as teasing or condescending. A good way to make up is to show real surprise at the person's attitude. This way, you can show your surprise and imply that yelling is distracting.
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Part 2 of 3: Reacting to ease the situation

  1. Consider finding time to calm down. If the situation allows, do your best to calmly ask the person to give you a few minutes to calm down before reacting to what they are yelling at. Simply express that the scolding is too much for you, and you want to start talking after five minutes to calm down. This will give the other person a space they may not realize they need.
    • This also helps reduce the risk that the conversation will explode into a heated battle. By making this suggestion, you also let the screaming person know that they provoked a strong response as they wanted.
  2. Talk about the behavior of the person who screamed. Let them know how their yelling makes you feel. Remember to include what you observe about the situation (eg, "I have a hard time concentrating on what you are saying because you're talking too loudly"). You should also tell the person how you feel in the situation (eg, "I feel scared and confused when I get scolded").
    • For example, your partner scolds you for forgetting your ticket when you go to the concert. When the person stops talking, say that you feel scared and stressed. You could also add that passersby are looking with surprised or pitiful eyes. This will cause your partner to pay attention to your feelings in addition to their own.
    • In other cases, you may be scolded by your boss for mistakes when sending invoices to customers. Tell your boss that you feel hurt and scared when your boss is louder than usual, and that it makes it even harder for you to focus on your work because you are defending yourself.
  3. Suggest they stop screaming. If you've shared how being scolded negatively affected you, you have good reason to ask not to do it again. To avoid escalating anger, say things like “I don't fully understand when hearing screams, but I care about what you tell me. Can you raise the issue in your normal tone of voice like we are talking about right now? "
    • When making suggestions, be specific about what you want. Although everyone knows that soft talk is always better than shouting, you still need to be clear about how you want to be spoken. Like the example above, to be specific, it means you don't use sentences like "Why can't you speak so normally?"
    • If you think the yelling person is too sensitive or they will interpret your suggestion as a personal attack, there are a few more positives you can add. Think about the person's contributions and remind them how much you admire them, such as showing enthusiasm.
  4. Talk at low volume. Quiet, soft voices are a great way to change the state of interaction. The person who is screaming will be forced to lower his voice to look more like you because of a sharp contrast to your voice. Another benefit is that they'll have to work harder to hear you speak, which also means that they have made a little change. This will help shift your focus from feeling angry and stressed to what you're talking about.
  5. Determine if you want to mediate. Once you have taken steps to ease the situation, you now have the option of making peace or simply leaving. When making up your mind, consider your relationship with the person, how likely you are to see them next time, and how long it usually takes to get through an unpleasant situation.
    • If the person screaming at you is someone you can't or don't want to cut off the relationship with, you can make up by remembering where the screaming comes from. After all, screaming is an expression of resentment toward an intense emotion or concern about something.
    • If you choose to walk away, keep in mind that there may be a tense encounter the next time you see the person again.
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Part 3 of 3: Reacting to avoid danger

  1. Understand your rights. It is important to understand your rights in these situations.Increase your confidence and dispel the fear of being scolded by keeping your rights in mind. For example, you always have the right to be treated with respect and space.
    • At the workplace, your right to work in an orderly and un-intimidated environment can be overridden by your position or because you need to maintain what is considered "proper." However, even if your boss has more decision-making power than you do in the company, you still always has the right to protest in situations that threaten its interests. If scolding occurs frequently, you can consult the human resources department or employee documentation about employee conflict resolution policies.
    • When your partner yells at you, it can be easy to assume that they are doing so for love or because they want to continue the relationship. However, think about how often that scolding occurs in a relationship you are trying to preserve. You have the right to express your needs, and not being intimidated or dominated is a fundamental right.
  2. Terminate contact. If the person keeps yelling at you no matter how hard you try to tell them how bad the behavior is, cutting off contact is probably the best way to protect yourself. Depending on your relationship with the person, you might want to avoid meeting and send a short email saying you don't want to contact them anymore. You have the right to set limits.
  3. Ask for outside help. Does the person screaming seem to be relieved? Are you afraid their behavior is threatening your livelihood? If you feel the situation is escalating to a really dangerous level, do not hesitate to call the hotline service immediately. If the situation is critical, call 113 (fast response police force) ..
    • If the shouting occurs at home, other than 113, you can call the hotline on 1800 1567 for help.
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