Author:
Robert Simon
Date Of Creation:
21 June 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) often initially give the impression of being charming, sociable, and confident. However, that charismatic personality will then be overshadowed, replaced by the image of a selfish person. This kind of person is very difficult to deal with. According to experts, NPD is one of the most difficult mental illnesses to treat. If the person with NPD is a family member, boss, or someone you care deeply about, then you are probably looking for an okay way to stay with them. You may have to choose to adjust yourself to live with someone with narcissism, but it is a tough road.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Dealing with Selfishness
There is a need to deal with this type of person. They are hardly interested in listening to you and not paying attention to your needs. Narcissists assume they know more than others, so they see their decisions as the most sensible answer to any problem. The narcissist always expects you to be what they want, and is likely to develop power struggles or serious control issues in your relationship with that person.- It doesn't seem like this person is emotionally invested in the relationship with you, but becomes angry if found to be criticized in any way. He has a history of breaking relationships for small reasons. If you want to maintain a relationship, how will you live and protect your feelings?
- Determine if it is true that you cannot or will not leave them in life. If you are just a novice then it is best to let the relationship go.
Avoid collisions. You don't get a chance to convince a narcissist to understand they are wrong. So you only choose when it is necessary to confront, without wasting the effort of dealing with an issue that has an emphasis on his behavior because it is almost impossible to turn it around.- If your spouse monopolized the family reunion last night and embarrassed you with the exaggerated stories, treat it as the past.Take precautions during your next meeting by arranging for him to sit next to another quiet member who is willing to listen to other people's dazzling achievements.
- If the problem is about your decision, such as not sharing a car with him if he is going to drive after drinking at a party tonight, then make it up to you. Feel free to leave without explaining the reason for this action. It is something you should do towards a narcissist so that he can understand and accept the problem, you do not need to urgently present reason.
Advice: Set clear boundaries in the form of "if you do X, then I will do Y" and stick with it. For example, "if you insult me I will leave."
Establish goal-oriented interactions. Narcissists love to make victories and then brag about their accomplishments. So you should set goals that both satisfy your needs and create pride for them.
- If you feel vulnerable every time you think of asking your narcissistic husband to tidy up the backyard, suggest him host the upcoming outdoor party. The narcissist prefers to take on the leading role in social gatherings, so this is the kind of event that brings in an audience that he loves. Ask him what he needs to do, then accept the house cleaning and prepare snacks for the meeting. Show interest in his muscles while cleaning the yard. It's funny how likely you will get even more results than you expected with a clean yard, because when praised he may even accept your suggestion to work on another project (like building a lake water, raise the garden ground or make a hose to water plants). This is the key to him claiming at the party.
Know what is important to a narcissist. Remember that a narcissist often doesn't understand or respect your words and behaviors that convey your feelings. In fact, he may be coldly resentful and hurt you.
- Instead, you need to study the subject and realize what's important to him. Then give them a real gift with your time or money, and you will receive a true love word from him.
Recommend chat therapy. The only effective treatment for this disorder is conversation therapy. Psychotherapy can be intrusive to reshape a person's perception of themselves and their place in the world around them. Then he has a more accurate view of his practical abilities, accepting himself and receiving other people's opinions in the thinking process.
- However, since the narcissist views themselves as nearly perfect, there is no need to see the need for psychological treatment or to change their behavior.
- Psychotherapy helps narcissists learn to seek support from others to benefit more from personal and professional relationships.
- But it can be difficult to convince a person with NPD to seek a therapist, engage in therapy, and keep the process going until results are achieved. If the narcissist seeks psychological help, it is mostly just to deal with their depression or suicidal tendencies. This type of person often turns down any talk about personality change or behavioral modification.
- There is no medication for narcissism, although medication may be required during treatment to control some symptoms or problems that arise, such as depression.
Method 2 of 3: Identifying Characteristics of Selfish Personality Disorder
Consider the person's childhood. NPD usually develops in men, starting in the early adolescence or early adulthood. Experts have not determined the exact cause, but guesswork may be due to some parenting ways:
- Too strict parenting methods: Too harsh teaching can cause a child's cherished desire to accumulate over the years.
- Over-pampering: On the other side of the extremes, the way of raising too loving and indulging makes the child think that he has all power and is perfect.
- But the narcissist seems to be the product of an upbringing incorporating extreme factors, including coldness and care.
Notice if the person thinks they are always right. At first, narcissism is shown in the form of a person with very high self-esteem, very confident in abilities. Over time, they begin to manifest undue belief in themselves, that they are never wrong and have a higher value than those around them.
Notice if the person considers them the center of the universe. The narcissist often sees the world revolve around him, and do whatever it takes to stay that state, such as monopolizing conversations.
The person is easily angry or abusive with language. When the narcissist feels not being treated as special as he expected, they begin to get angry or talk more to suppress the other person.
- Distinguish from Anti-Social Personality Disorder (ASPD) by noticing if the person is breaking the law. Some people with NPD may talk very aggressively but they are not violent or illegal, and they often control their own behavior well.
Is the person arrogant or boastful. People with NPD are often viewed as arrogant, aggressive, or self-centered. They tend to look down on their subordinates (which are basically anyone) and to lower others to elevate themselves. They will manipulate others to get what they want.
Identify lack of empathy. Perhaps the most challenging problem dealing with a narcissist is that he is truly incapable of empathy, and does not want to learn how to empathize.
- Distinguish narcissism from autism by observing how much they feel for others. Autistic people may have difficulty understanding other people's feelings, but they are genuinely interested, may at times offer to help and will get upset when they see other people in a bad mood (sometimes when they dodge when they feel overwhelmed). The narcissist cares little for the feelings of others.
Advice: For a narcissist, empathy can go as follows, "I know how you feel, but I don't care." Some people with NPD recognize and understand the feelings of others but do not know how to share. They use this information to manipulate others.
Notice if the person is overreacting when criticized. He will not try to satisfy someone else's request. In fact, they even react angrily to any such request, because it is considered a criticism.
- There was a time when it was thought that the narcissist's overstatement of self-worth was to compensate for their lack of self-worth. But today experts claim that narcissists deceive themselves by truly believing they are great people. They feel a right to be admired by others despite the evidence of their success.
- So a narcissist can overreact, even become aggressive when feeling even the slightest criticism.
- Distinguish NPD from Boundary Personality Disorder (BPD) by noticing if they take other people's comments deeply in mind. Some people with NPD may get angry while someone with BPD will panic and fall into a spiral of low self-esteem.
Does the person have unrealistic expectations? Narcissists have exaggerated beliefs about self-importance, superiority, achievement, and ability; having manipulative behavior as well as wanting to be obedient, admired and empowered by others; Their heads are full of thoughts "delusions of success, power, excellence, beauty and wanting to have a perfect partner".
- They require others to represent themselves creating the highest quality or "best" product.
See if the person is taking advantage of it. People with narcissism often tend to manipulate or take advantage of situations and relationships in life to progress or bypass certain behaviors.If they find a way to get what they want, they will often return everything needed.
- For example, let's say you're indecisive and tend to lack confidence. If you and your narcissist quarrel about what your ex did wrong, and you confront them a few days later, they can deny by saying, "Don't be stupid, it's not like that", because know that the sentence will make you doubt your own opinion.
Look at their love relationship. It is difficult to live or work with someone with narcissism. People with NPD have problems in relationships, as well as in work or school settings.
- Some find that a flaw in their perfect person leads to depression or anxiety. Suicidal thoughts complicate matters.
Has the person misused drugs or alcohol? When life is not going smoothly, the narcissist can easily abuse drugs or alcohol. Check how much alcohol they drink or if they are on drugs.
Distinguish between a malicious narcissist and a narcissist is trying to be better. Although narcissism makes it very difficult to be a good person, some people with NPD are not necessarily bad people. People with NPD may choose to treat others with kindness and respect, although their misconceptions make this difficult.
- This choice must be made by them. You cannot change them, and it is not your responsibility. Don't waste time “fixing” someone when they don't see anything wrong with their behavior.
- Notice if the person is willing to look back on his or her behavior, apologize or not, show concern for others, and if he treats others well. They can learn to be better at dealing with those around them.
- Do not tolerate abuse of language. No one deserves to hear someone yell at you, so stay away from them if they do this.
Method 3 of 3: Take care of yourself and those around you
Seek emotional help elsewhere. Now you have to accept that your emotional needs will not be met by this person. Find a close friend or confidant (such as a relative, counselor, or priest), who is willing to listen and understand whenever you need to talk about your frustrations. You must build a network of friends to fill the emotional gaps in your life.
- If your spouse has NPD, he will not share the joy with you every time you have a job at work because it has nothing to do with him personally. They may even acknowledge your accomplishments in a negative way if they don't receive regular praise from their work. You should be prepared to accept contempt from him.
- Post a joyful note on social media, or call a friend to celebrate with you.
Learn how to improve your quality of life on your own. Every individual is a unique entity, so you need to learn about narcissistic personality disorder and try to understand how the narcissist sees their world. Understanding this type of person helps you adapt his approach more appropriately, so that you can get the results you expect more often.
- Predict his reaction to specific situations, then script it to get the desired results. Examine how he sees you in their world, then try to squeeze yourself into that pattern for the best fit.
- Don't pass the bow too much to lead to a crash, but improvise for a happy ending for both of you. Remember to use the phrase she often whispers to her granddaughter when getting married: He will do whatever you want if you make your husband think it's his idea.
- The better you know and know about the narcissist, the fading wall between you two will show that you really care about them and ultimately benefit both of you.
Do not ignore emotional gestures. You may find that a narcissist responds well to acts of goodwill but does not show your affection, but that doesn't mean you have to let go of the emotional gestures that come from your heart.
- In fact, he loves showing off to his coworker the love message you put in his lunchbox for him. But remember that you may not be grateful when he comes home that night.
- A kind attitude will satisfy your need to show love without hurting you as long as you don't expect him to respond to the gesture.
Seek advice from others. You are on the right track when you learn about narcissistic personality disorder yourself. There are many support groups, books, and resources available to help you find advice to help you in this turbulent relationship.
Share ideas with others. Remember, you are not the only one living with a narcissist. You can share your opinion with his friends and colleagues, as they are struggling to maintain a relationship with the person themselves.
Supervise his children. If you have young children living with the narcissist, make an effort to keep them safe around that person. A narcissist parent often abuses verbal or emotional abuse. Make sure your child lacks certain social skills because of the behavior he causes. Then you find a way to supplement or re-educate the skill so that they don't become narcissists in the future. advertisement
Advice
- Usually men are prone to narcissism, but sometimes women are also present.
Warning
- If a person with NPD has suicidal thoughts, take him to the emergency room immediately.
