Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Realizing that you are clinging is the first step in improving your behavior. If you're a clingy person, you will always feel haunted by a new person at the first meeting, whether it's friendship or love. After that, you will often call them, offer to go out all day, even feel sad or be left out if you have to do something alone. If you see yourself in these behaviors or if someone asks you to give them space, it's time to try to improve yourself, change your approach to relationships. limit clinging to others. Today WikiHow teaches you how to do just that.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Improve yourself

1. 

   
   
   Build confidence. Some people become clingy because they are dissatisfied with themselves, they always feel insecure about being alone, being left behind or being ignored by someone. The clingy person may even become paranoid by assuming that people are hanging out without inviting them, because no one likes them. Let go of these feelings and love yourself more. When you become confident, you won't be obsessed with the idea that people are leaving you and will become less clingy.
   • Think about at least three things that make you special and learn to love yourself.
   • Be satisfied with your certain strengths, be it your ability to run, your hard work or your ability to make others laugh.
   • Demonstrates body language in a confident person. Stand up straight, don't fold your arms across your chest and smile when possible.
   • Identify your own shortcomings. No one in this world is perfect, recognizing your shortcomings will help you feel better about yourself.

2. 

   
   
   Improve trust issues. Many people become clingy because they have trust problems, which can stem from feelings of abandonment at a young age, being neglected by close friends in difficult times, even cheating on by their loved ones. Although the pains are quite large, but you still have to learn to interact with new people because the past cannot determine the future.
   • Learn to forget about the people or things that hurt you in the past, then move on to build a better and healthier future for all your relationships.
   • Tell yourself that clinging to others is not a way to make them more loyal to you - in fact, clinging will only push them further away from you.
   • Don't be disappointed in yourself. You can't fix all of your trust problems right away - but you can improve little by little to feel more confident without having to hang around with them.

3. 

   
   
   Reduce anxiety. Most clingy behaviors are rooted in anxiety - maybe you fear being alone for life, worrying about not having a close friend, or fearing that people will make fun of your back as soon as you leave. out of the room. You may also wonder about trying too hard to get to know new people or relationships, so cling to one or more people you already know well to deal with your fear.
   • When you have a lot of anxiety mixed with pressure - you may feel anxious because your world is so messed up and busy, you have to deal with so many things that you feel like you can't deal with it on your own. . Do something to reduce your stress, such as meditate, practice yoga, and get enough sleep to see if you're less anxious.
   • Before entering a crowded room, just take a deep breath. Tell yourself that you should talk to strangers and broaden your relationship instead of sticking to the person you need.

4. 

   Talk to someone. If you find it annoying to depend too much on your mother, boyfriend or best friend, talk to someone about your problem. You can start by opening up with a best friend, lover or family member about your problems. If you feel out of control, talk to your psychiatrist about whether your problem is related to other anxiety disorders or depression.
   • Talking to someone else can help you pinpoint the cause of your clingy nature. There are many reasons why we become clingy - maybe you grew up in a large family and struggled to get attention, or you broke up with your ex because you didn't spend it. Have enough time together and you are trying to fix your mistake overly.
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Method 2 of 3: Managing relationships

1. 

   Give others space. Giving someone space is the best way to maintain a healthy relationship. Regardless of whether it is a best friend or a lover, know that the less you see each other will make the person appreciate you more when you are both together. When two people are together all day, a feeling of disgust naturally arises, because each person doesn't have time to miss or tell the other about the interesting things that happen when they are not together.
   • Give the person personal space. Don't text, call or "show up" to hang out with the person on a regular basis. This is annoying, even impolite. You should only find someone if they want to see you too.
   • Don't "cover" them. If you hang around and ask about every little detail of his day without giving him any chance to do his job, you will make the other person feel claustrophobic.
   • Try to set aside at least three no-seeings after each time you visit him. Even though you are so in love with your ex that you cannot let go of him, remember: nothing is forever.
   • Enjoy pursuing your interests while you are alone. Don't see it as a way to "pass the time" until you see the person again.
   • Learn to read signs. If someone needs time alone, he or she will often not listen to your phone, limit seeing you or say they are having a busy week. Don't try to reach out to the person if you notice these signs, give them a good time.

2. 

   Slow down when meeting new people. Clingy people often hold on to a person right away, whether they have just met or gone back and forth several times. This is a defense mechanism that shows that the clingy person is afraid the other will not reciprocate their feelings or leave, so they must attack as soon as possible. Take it easy and relax, don't make an appointment with him or her more than once a week.
   • If your plan is to spend all of your socializing time around a new person, you will frighten him away.
   • Don't suddenly open up and talk about how you're looking for a new friend / lover - they'll step back.
   • Don't take the initiative to initiate all appointments with new people. Make sure to balance and both try equally.

3. 

   Don't take other people too seriously. Most clingy people assume that everyone is need their care and thus they are engrossed in helping or giving advice when the other is not in need. Occasionally, others need your help, but don't "cover" your presence with everyone you meet, thinking that their life would not be complete without care or advice. your.
   • If someone needs your help, they will, so don't assume that everyone needs your care.

4. 

   Keep track of your body language. Your body language can overwhelm others and make you feel like you're trying too hard to survive in their personal space. If you are meeting with a friend, do not stand close to them, cuddle, overly touch, play with the other person's hair or jewelry, otherwise you may upset them.
   • When you're with your partner, cuddling or kissing is okay, but if you're holding hands 100% of the time and sticking to that person at any party or social event, you may seem a bit overboard.
   • Even though we should focus on what we are communicating with, don't force them by making constant eye contact with them, or by not letting the person talk to others.

5. 

   Do not let others depend on you. One of the consequences of clinging is that you will be looked down upon. Clumsy people may lose their personal dignity because they surround others everytime everywhere - if you are such a person, your friend or lover will know for sure that just speak up, you will appear in the blink of an eye to help or hang out with them. If you don't want to be looked down on, keep yourself not when also around or "need is".
   • Remember that you still have other people in your social network - think hanging out with them and not sticking to one person all the time.
   • Mention other things you have to do, whether it's a project at school, a soccer club party, or a plan for your mother's birthday party. Let others know that you are also busy and find ways to put them in your schedule rather than rearranging your life to meet them.
   • While you shouldn't put your friends aside, there's no need to immediately pick up their phone or reply to Facebook messages after just a few seconds, otherwise they'll think you have nothing to do. .

6. 

   Enjoy maintaining healthy distances. Once you learn to stop clinging, you will be natural prefer Maintain a healthy distance from the person you love. You will have time to work through your own problems, pursue your passions and goals, and appreciate the person more each time you meet them. Having a busy and enjoyable life will make you feel better than spending most of your time with one person doing nothing else.
   • Find joy in maintaining some or even more good relationships so you don't have to spend time thinking about one person.
   • Occasionally ask the person again. Don't be afraid to ask, "Didn't I bother you too much this week?" When you become aware of your tendency to cling, you will be able to cope better with it.
   • When you think about how much you love yourself, you will know how to be alone and do what you enjoy. Becoming a person who is content with being alone will naturally make people more attracted to you.
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Method 3 of 3: Enjoy meaningful life

1. 

   Pursue your interests. The easiest way to stop clinging is to keep your life busy and exciting, and there's always more to work towards. If you don't have a lot to do for yourself, you'll tend to want to spend all of your time with your boyfriend or best friend. When your life is filled with fun and rewarding activities, you will be less clingy to others. Here are the things you should try:
   • Determine your passion. Maybe you have a love for photography, yoga or music you've never discovered. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try something new, which may end up becoming something you'll spend most of your time later.
   • Choose for yourself a form of exercise - sport. Go for a run, work out or even sign up for a kickboxing course, find something that releases most of your energy and feels good about yourself during your workout. If you attend a fitness class, commit yourself to going to practice at least two to three times a week, which will help you form a personal routine that doesn't involve others.
   • Set aside a few hours a week for personal preference. Be it composing poetry, gardening or making handmade things, whatever it is, invest at least a few hours a week to do it. Not only do you feel more complete about yourself by doing what you love to do, you also become more interested in being yourself.

2. 

   Pursue your own goals. This is just as important as pursuing a personal preference so that you don't become clingy. Pursuing your own goals will help you focus on your short- or long-term dreams and keep yourself focused on what's coming up for yourself rather than on your best friend or sister. Age doesn't matter, set some short-term and long-term goals to reflect on yourself and keep busy.
   • Set some short-term goals. Maybe it's finished reading a certain book for the week or completing a new recipe. Write deadlines for goals on your planner to keep yourself motivated.
   • Make plans to reach your long-term goals. Whether it's a graduate degree, getting a visa interview or completing your novel, make a plan to make your dreams come true. You will have more problems to think about than what your boyfriend is going to do every night.
   • Write about your goals in your journal. Journaling can help you "keep up" who you are and what a good future holds for you. That way you can focus on the things that matter yourself.

3. 

   Expand your social network. This is a great way to minimize adhesion. If you only have two friends, or your boyfriend is your only friend in town, you will have to cling to them more. The wider the social circle, the richer the experience of life will be and the less attention we will focus on the person's intentions. Here are the ways you can grow your social network:
   • Not having ten close friends is what is called a wide relationship. You just need to invite a few more normal friends to go out for coffee, or turn a social friend into a normal friend.
   • Be more friendly with your colleagues or classmates. This will help to develop new friendships or you will have something to do. Even by attending outside parties with colleagues twice a month, you can expand your social network.
   • Stay in touch with old friends. Maybe you've put a few old friends aside just because you're too busy focusing on one person. Get back in touch with them and apologize for that.
   • Don't be afraid to ask your friends out. If you really like a girl at a party, ask if she wants to sign up for a yoga class at your mall or go shopping together when possible.

4. 

   Learn to enjoy being alone. Most clingers prefer to spend up to 99% of their time with others. Surname always want to go with someone and have trouble being alone. Enjoying "self-time" is an important way to build confidence, find things that make you happy, and reduce the pressure and time to spend with others. Here are some ways to enjoy "alone" time:
   • Long walk. Not only is it healthy, but walking also helps you feel smoother.
   • Find joy in reading culture. Reading is not just a form of entertainment or education, there is a saying "Book is a good friend of man".
   • Home decoration. Redecorating your personal space can help you connect with the things that appeal to you and feel more interested in spending time in your living space.

5. 

   Participate in volunteer work. Volunteering is not only a great way to help your community, but also helps you find yourself necessary and helpful, gradually filling up your feelings of need. Meaningful jobs that you can do are to help cook charity meals, pick up trash at parks or teach words to poor children, etc.
   • When you are attracted to volunteering, make up your own mind by doing it at least once or twice a week. This is another way to keep busy and fill your schedule with separate activities independent of anyone else.
   • Volunteering can also help you expand your relationships. You can find a suitable companion from social activities and start a new friendship.
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Advice

• Apply the rule "the farther, the more remember". Everyone in your life is important to you and you are to them too. And, the more personal space you give your ex, the more they will treasure you because you are not always within reach. Likewise, when they are not always within your reach, you can get rid of the obsession that other people feel suffocated for you. You are using the space to set a clear standard and rearrange the relationship with that person.
• Recognize signs of your own clingy behavior. The person you cling to will appear annoyed and frustrated with you. Don't be tempted and use them to manipulate them; Instead, look at them as a mirror of your own behavior and find other ways to interact with these people, give them personal space, and find their own way to cope.
• If you are the stalker, offer individual activities to develop the person's interests and strengths. Helping the person come to realize that it is better for them to pursue what they enjoy doing (and not yours) with someone else or on their own. To make the transition easier, combine individual activities with at least one common activity to balance the shift in your relationship approach.
• If you depend on others for important things like leaving home, basic personal care or the like, honestly ask yourself why. It could be the fear of crowds or some mental illness. Seek immediate treatment because, like other physical illnesses, mental illness is real and has the potential to weaken people. However, if you need help for special physical reasons then it is not clinging that needs treatment. Instead, expand your support network and explore available services for help with things you cannot do on your own.

Warning

• Prolonged clinging will erode the patience of the person you hang onto, with regard to any relationship. After a while, even the most patient people will find that you use your inability to manipulate them when they see that they have a "tail" all the time.