Content

• Steps

Perhaps you've been deceived by your spouse, stabbed in the back by your best friend, or even taken advantage of by a co-worker. On the other hand, maybe you lied to your lover, stole a guy or girl your friend noticed, or failed to help a colleague or classmate complete an important project. Trust between two people means that both can be hurt for each other. Maintaining trust is important to having a relationship that both you enjoy. Losing trust is like a two-way street, and so is it to be regained. You both need to work together to rebuild lost trust. Here is what the two of you need to do.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Take Responsibility for Your Actions

1. 

   
   
   Admission. If you've cheated on someone before, then you need to confess. In person-to-person relationships, it is especially important that you tell the truth even if you benefit more from a lie. If you have been a deceiver, then you bravely confessing and accepting the price of everything will make that person see that you always appreciate their happiness over yourself. Denying will only make the person you lose trust in you more, especially when the truth is inherently clear.
   • Admit all mistakes. There are even things you can hide without fear of being discovered, but you should still tell. Only admitting everything will make other people forget your mistakes.

2. 

   
   
   Predict the opponent's emotional response. Admitting that you cheated on someone is not going to be easy right away. On the contrary, you can predict emotional outbursts such as screaming, crying, and other expressions, when they hear you admit you cheated.But remember, the best way to stay together is to be frank.

3. 

   
   
   Say sorry. This is obvious, but it's a pity that apologies are sometimes overlooked. The way you say an apology will determine whether or not the apology is accepted, and whether the two of you can continue together.
   • When apologizing, avoid making excuses for your actions. Don't blame the person you've hurt you for misunderstanding you ("I got you wrong"). Don't deny their pain ("I'm not even hurt"). Don't tell sad stories ("I had an uneasy childhood").
   • The best way to be responsible is to acknowledge the other person's pain, say things you should have done, and promise to do it.
   • Let the person you cheated on know why you are apologizing. If they learn that you are sorry for feeling wrong and embarrassed, they will easily forgive you. But if they think you're sorry just out of pity, they won't be able to forgive you. Pity is different from feelings of repentance and shame because it does not reflect some of the personal responsibility of the offender. Pity also implies that the offender is in a higher position than the one who is hurt.

4. 

   Forgive yourself. When you lose someone's trust, you may feel so regretful that it goes through a hard time forgiving yourself. While having a repentant heart is essential to reconciling with the person you cheated on, you also need to accept and learn to forgive yourself after your efforts to heal the relationship. .
   • Remember that no one is perfect. Whether the mistake in your decision is big or small, it shows that you are just a human being. Accept your failures and strive for the future.
   • If you stick to thoughts about past mistakes, you run the risk of degrading yourself. Once you have started thinking like that, it can dissipate your motivation to self-develop.
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Part 2 of 4: Let Go of Everything If You Have Cheated on Someone

1. 

   Let others know about your life. Everyone wants to be in control of their personal information. But, there are times when you need to disclose part of your private information as a basis for others to try to trust you again. By letting others know about your life, they can confirm with their own eyes that you are not among the group of traitors.
   • This is very important when romantic relationships are broken up by infidelity. After cheating, to compensate you should allow your spouse to see all of your messages, call logs, emails and appointments for a few weeks to months. Let him or her know where you are and who you are with whenever possible.

2. 

   Let others vent their anger. Negative emotions are naturally occurring after deception. People who feel betrayed will need to express their feelings and thoughts in order to heal their emotional wounds. This can be frustrating, but it is essential for them.
   • One of the worst things you can do is try to make them "shut up" when they're angry. This shows you are not taking their feelings seriously.
   • Let others vent their anger the way they want. Each person vented their anger differently and at a different time. Urging shows you a lack of interest in them.

3. 

   Keep promise. What you do is more important than what you say. Trust between two people means that you have to be trustworthy and consistent over a long period of time. You should promise to do better, but a promise or apology alone won't rebuild trust in the short term. If you can't be honest next time or don't do all the things you promised, the person you cheated on won't accept that you've changed or you deserve to be trusted again.
   • You should avoid making the same mistake at all costs.

4. 

   Keep patient. Understand that it takes time to regain trust. You need to be patient with others, and you need to be consistent with your efforts.
   • Depending on the severity of the deception, building trust can take weeks, months, or years.
   • Never put pressure on others to trust you more.
   • Understand that things will never be the same after you've deceived them, but if you show that you are trustworthy, you may gain some confidence back.
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Part 3 of 4: Getting Ready to Trust Someone Again

1. 

   Assess situation. Before you can rebuild trust in the person who cheated on you, you must first ask yourself if this relationship is something you want to save. Ask yourself:
   • Is this the first time he cheated on me?
   • Am I willing to put my trust in him again, even if from now on he will do everything perfectly?
   • Can I forgive?
   • Is my relationship with him important enough for me to fight?
   • Is this a one-time mistake or habit?

2. 

   Consider how the other person reacts to the situation. Are they really apologizing for hurting you or are they apologizing for being found out in a lie? Are they willing to listen to you and make an effort to make things better next time? Are they willing to accept the mistake?
   • If they don't seem genuinely sorry for hurting you, or are not interested in improving things, then this relationship is probably not necessary for you anymore.

3. 

   Take care to avoid being deceived again. Continue to consider the progression. After a few weeks to months, you should pay attention to the trustworthy signs of someone who has cheated on you. Trying to determine if someone is lying is difficult, but the following symptoms can be a sign of deception:
   • The person who is lying will spend more time thinking about their answer and the less they talk when they act.
   • The liar will tell the story very exaggerated and with little detail. They also have a less straightforward way of talking, pause often, and use little gestures.
   • Liars are less able to self-improve than truth-tellers.
   • Liars are susceptible to stress. This causes their voice to be higher, and they often experience restlessness.

4. 

   Express your feelings. Let the person who once deceived you know how deeply you have been hurt by their actions. More importantly, tell the person exactly what hurt you. Tell them what you need to trust them. advertisement

Part 4 of 4: Let Everything Go Forget If Someone Cheats On You

1. 

   Forget the anger. When you want to let go of your anger, let it go. After you have discussed the deception, you need to let it go into oblivion. Even if you feel sad or angry now, that feeling won't last forever. Don't bring them into the controversy, especially if the person has worked hard to make up for the mistake.
   • If you find that you still have negative emotions, think about why it is still difficult for you to let go of the problem. Is it because your partner is still behaving in a way that betrayed your beliefs? Or is it because of a personal matter that has something to do with your own past?

2. 

   Adjust your wishes. Even if someone never wants to hurt you, no one can give you exactly what you want 100% of the time. Once you know that you are not perfectionist, you can better understand how much trust you truly have in them.
   • The goal must be realistic, not let yourself go too far. Accept that everyone can make mistakes. However, don't allow anyone to leave when they intentionally hurt you or are deliberately indifferent to you.

3. 

   Give and receive love. You need to be willing to accept and love the person who betrayed you, and you also need to accept the love that that person has for you.When someone who betrays you tries to show affection, consider their act of love as genuine. Try to accept what you believe is sincere. advertisement