Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Is your friend going through a tough time? Real friendships show up when people try to help each other. Sometimes people feel a little awkward when a friend is unlucky because they don't know what to say. Do not worry about that. Your presence alone is enough. There are many ways you can help a struggling friend feel better.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Do the right things

1. 

   Continually want to help, even if they refuse. You cannot help your friends if you withdraw when problems arise. To be a good friend, you need to be willing to be with them in conversations in the middle of the night or when they shed tears. For some people, the difficulties of friends are extremely troublesome. That is not true friendship.
   • Even if the person says they want to be alone, at least offer to help. However, you shouldn't force them to talk when they're not ready. Give the person the space they need, then reach out to them again. Do this a few times. Don't turn away. Sometimes, people don't know what to say when one of their friends has a hard time, so they don't say anything or keep their distance. This can hurt your friend even more.
   • The primary goal is to offer help. Just knowing someone is willing to listen, give advice or show concern can make a difference for a friend who's going through a tribulation. Call, text or write and just ask, “How are you? Do you need anything or can I help? "
   • Part of helping is being there. Always turn on the phone, and talk to them at 2 a.m. if they're in a crisis. Reply to that person's message. Don't always be too busy to listen. Don't think you have to behave differently. Choose the right situation and avoid approaching them suddenly if they are not ready to talk.

2. 

   
   
   Acting calmly because they were confused enough. Make a buoy so they can cling to when they are drowning and see themselves as a support for them. Try not to show it even if you are messing around with the difficulty.
   • Don't panic. This will only make the friend feel the problem is more serious or impossible to resolve, and it will further confuse them. Understand that some people need to suffer for a while, and that's okay.
   • While you should show empathy, showing too much compassion for them can make them feel worse.
   • Don't act on impulsive actions that could make matters worse. After all, you don't understand your friend's problem as well as they do. Ask your friend before doing anything to help them correct the situation. Notice how they feel about it (unless they are in danger or mistreated, if so. right talk to someone right away).

3. 

   
   
   Listen a lot, but sometimes you need to talk. You should be good at listening, but talking can also help a friend who is struggling. Making sympathetic eye contact is also part of listening.
   • Tell them positive stories about the experiences and results of others and yourself if you think it will make things better. However, you also need to pause and remember to listen. Sometimes people just need to be open-minded and let out.
   • Don't forget that your friend has suffered enough. Keep your mindset as positive, positive, and positive as possible. That's why they turn to you first: For help. Let them chatter for a while. Maybe they just need to say it all. Even just a sympathetic and understanding nod or a comment like, “I'll help you through. You are such a strong person that ”will also have a huge impact.

4. 

   
   
   Understand that different problems require different approaches. For example, the reaction to someone who is suffering because of a loved one has passed away will be completely different from how to react to a person in financial difficulty. Take the time to learn about their specific situation.
   • If they are suffering money problems, you can help them plan their budgets, offer to look at their expenditures with an objective eye, and refer them to a financial advisor. Be careful with lending money to relatives or friends. That could destroy your relationship.
   • If they are grieving someone's death or any other loss, understand that experts believe that the grieving process has many different stages, including denial, anger, negotiation. , depression and ultimately acceptance.
   • Help your friend connect to trusted outside support sources where they can get more help from an expert or someone with experience in their difficult area.

5. 

   Make physical contact with your friend through a comforting hug. Or gently touch their shoulder. Showing sympathy through physical contact will definitely help them feel better, or at least they are interested.
   • Sometimes all that person needs is a hug. No need to say anything - just open your arms wide and they'll embrace you. You should hold them for as long as possible as this will show them that you are always there. Make them laugh.
   • You can sing, dance or tell jokes. Once they start to laugh, it will be easy for them to get over and think about what they should do.
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Method 2 of 3: Say the right things

1. 

   Focus on them instead of yourself. While you can share your own experiences if you think they'll convey sympathy or help to your friend, focus on your friend rather than on yourself. So don't get tempted to make them laugh with stories about how you got through an even worse difficulty.
   • Don't Try to be better than them by bringing up your own problems. Maybe at night you are being watched by an assassin wearing sunglasses in the guise of a clown. But now is the time to focus on your friend's problems like their spouse or their profession or whatever they're going through.
   • However, it's not that you can't find common ground by telling them about a personal experience that resembles their problem that you overcame. But don't hint that you know exactly how they feel because each situation is unique, and keep your stories as little as possible.

2. 

   Be careful with clichés that sound boring and aren't really helpful. We've all heard statements like: "I understand how you are feeling" (even if you don't really understand) or "things could have gotten worse than that" when they were feeling unreasonable. the same grief. Instead, say things from the bottom of your heart in a way specifically tailored to their situation.
   • Friendship is about knowing how to use honesty effectively.When a friend has a problem, assess the situation and act through your own personal point of view. Put yourself in your friend's shoes, and feel the emotions they're going through.
   • Tell them you're sorry, and let them express all of their feelings. Avoid giving cliché advice, as they may assume that you don't really care and get even more upset. Be realistic. Don't say "everything's fine" if it's not. Instead, you can motivate them.

3. 

   Always keep a positive attitude, and stop negative thoughts. Blame your friend by saying something like "I told you to do this sooner" or "How many times did I tell you about it?" will only hurt them more. By the time the conversation is over, you will regret what you said.
   • If the person mentions a negative situation over and over again, you can subtly give positive suggestions about how they might change instead of expressing your thoughts in negative, negative words. pole. Don't criticize them. This is extremely important. It won't help at all and currently is not at all the right time.
   • Don't talk to them about what they did wrong until they got out of the crisis. They need comfort when things get tough, rather than made to feel worse. Don't tell them harsh words but "I told you" or "This is your fault".
   • Imagine this. You're "Hoa's" best friend, and her parents just got divorced. Be there to comfort her, listen to any problems, or make her happier. However… Maybe she wanted to spend some time alone as well. Show interest in movies, small things that make her laugh. Be a good friend and help her get through things just like you would have her do for you.

4. 

   Suggest solutions so they can improve the situation. Offer your friend a few steps they can take to get over the crisis, while also motivating them. Help them see the positive things that still exist in their lives. Remind your friend that they don't deserve what happened to them.
   • If possible, try to do something that really changes the problems your friend is facing. If you can't do anything, give it a try and do something useful for your friend. For example, maybe they are too depressed to prepare dinner. Bring them some food. Offer to take care of their children for them - things like that.
   • While you should come up with constructive solutions, they should ultimately make their own decisions about what to do. Let them draw their own conclusions and come to their own decisions. Show sincere support will be extremely important in this moment. Let's talk based on fact, never Advise them if you are unsure.
   • While you may occasionally offer solutions, advice or suggestions, your main goal should still be listening. You can also do all three if you are especially close with the person.

5. 

   
   
   Accept that the friend may not obey. A good friend will both give advice and advice and understand that your friend may not be ready to accept help, even if they are very close to you. After all, people need to settle things - bad relationships, financial worries, someone's death, and so on. - by myself.
   • Understand and accept that your actions will not always produce the expected results. As a support person, you shouldn't feel frustrated or discouraged by this.
   • Help them identify the cause of the problem as well as possible corrective actions. Use your own experiences, instincts, and the advice of others. You can say "This is your life and you should do the things you think is the best. But do you think if ___ then _____? Maybe you can ___? But it all depends on what you think is right. you "instead of saying" That's a terrible idea, you should ___ ".
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Method 3 of 3: Take other actions

1. 

   
   
   Report on violence or any other problem that could affect the friend's safety. Not all difficulties are the same. If the problem your friend is going through threatens his / her safety - for example, in a relationship that is physically abusive or threats of self-harm - you should act.
   • Encourage your friend to speak to someone in authority such as a law enforcement officer, therapist, religious leader or parent. If the friend refuses, and the abuse is happening, talk to someone in authority yourself.
   • If the friend is not of adulthood, you need to talk to their parents if they have been abused, including bullied. Bullying is a form of emotional abuse, and you should not deal with such problems yourself. Don't confront the abuser, as that can put you in danger too. Talk to an adult.

2. 

   
   
   Let them be sad for a while, but not forever. Don't force them to be happy or angry if they can't get rid of their sadness. They are hurting. Sometimes, they just need to be in it for a while. But if that lasts too long, try other ways.
   • At some point you may need a little hard work or become a facilitator. So when is that? When a long period of time has passed, and their sadness, pain, or depression begins to have negative effects on other areas of life, like work or study.
   • It is perfectly normal to experience a mental decline at first, but people will gradually settle down, though how long it takes depends on each person. At some point, you should direct them to the solutions under consideration.

3. 

   Understand when this goes beyond your limits. If at any time you need a little space because they haven't gotten any better and all conversations sink into depression day after month, you may need to introduce a more stiffer intervention. .
   • Find out about the signs of clinical depression, and if your friend has symptoms, ask them to seek help from a specialist, such as a therapist or doctor.
   • Remind them that you are not trained to be their therapist. And you cannot carry on with their problems forever. At some point, being a little tough in the form of a constructive solution or a sincere view of the things you observe may be more helpful to them.

4. 

   Distract them by doing something interesting. Try to find a way to help them temporarily forget their problems. You can invite them to see a movie with. It will make them walk out of the house and forget about their problems for at least a few hours.
   • Recreational hobbies can help a person gain perspective. Balance between immersion and distraction, though. Understand that they may want to settle in their living room in their pajamas, at least for the first time.
   • Buy them some "comfort food" like ice cream or chocolate or something they love. Take it over to your friend's house and be company with them. Remind them of the achievements they have made. Share positive quotes.
   • In a way, continuing life as usual at a certain point can help people heal. So don't change your routine too much.

5. 

   If they're not in danger, keep their affairs a secret so they don't make things worse. When a friend tells you about a problem, he or she is showing confidence in you. You won't be a good friend if you break that trust by disclosing it to others.
   • Exceptions - and this is extremely important - are problems related to abuse, bullying or any other situation that puts your friend in danger, including mentally. In those cases, you need to talk to someone in authority - for example, a parent, the police or a doctor.
   • For other cases, do not gossip. Don't hint about their problem on social media or tell other friends, even if it's under the pretense of trying to give them more support.
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Advice

• Give the person some space when they want.
• Don't let them use alcohol to treat their melancholy. It will only make their emotions and depression worse.
• Don't push them too hard on details. They probably don't want to tell you everything, so don't ask if they aren't willing.
• You need to give your friend space and not show up so much that it annoys him / her.
• Don't promise to be with them if you can't or won't.
• No matter what your friend confides to you, show sympathy and praise them for their endurance. This alone is enough to make a person feel supported, understood, and better in general.

Warning

• If a friend tells you about your problem, keep everything confidential unless it's about suicide, abuse, rape or anything that might cause him / her to get hurt.