Content

• Steps
• Advice

Seeing a friend or family member's life ruined by alcoholism is painful and extremely angry. Often the person needs to go into a rehabilitation program to get help with alcoholism. If you need help, first determine if the person is an alcoholic or not. Then help them find the right treatment.

Steps

Part 1 of 2: Ask the other person to stop drinking alcohol

1. 

   Watch for signs of alcoholism. People with "alcohol problems" may not yet be over the line to get into full alcohol addiction. Alcohol problems can be recognized and overcome by themselves, but alcoholism is a disease that cannot be cured. This requires outside intervention to control it. Alcohol addicts often have the following symptoms:
   • Problems at work and school, such as being late or almost absent because of an unpleasant aftertaste after drunkenness.
   • Frequent loss of consciousness after drinking too much alcohol.
   • Legal problems with drinking, such as being arrested for being drunk in public or driving while drunk.
   • You can't leave a half-filled glass of wine or have alcohol with you even if you don't drink.
   • Create a schedule for drinking and always get dizzy when you get drunk.
   • The relationship has been damaged by alcohol.
   • Craving for alcohol in the morning and experiencing withdrawal symptoms when not drinking.

2. 

   
   
   Practice what you are going to say. Once you have decided to talk to the other person about his / her drinking habits, practice exactly what you will say. Keep it short, detailed, and non-critical. This will prevent the person from dodging if you speak too long and prevent them from feeling as though you are offending them, emotionally hurt.
   • Try to memorize a few key sentences that are important to you. For example, you could say, "I love you and I'm worried that you are harming your health by getting drunk on the weekends. I will support you to get help when you need it."
   • It's also helpful to have a trusted group of friends to help you chat with your lover. However, be careful not to feel offended or hurt.

3. 

   
   
   Talk to the other person. If you've noticed some signs of alcoholism, have a conversation with your partner and tell them you're worried. Explain that their behavior is affecting others and that it is time to stop drinking for their own benefit and for the benefit of the family. Talk to them about the problem drinking is causing.
   • Choose a time to talk when your partner is not drinking. Speaking in the morning is usually the best time. It's also okay to confide in when they are feeling nauseous or upset after a binge drink. Point out the fact that they are harming your body by making it tired day in and day out.
   • Prepare to face the denial. Alcoholics often deny that there is a problem with their drinking. He / she tends not to admit to the problem, or does not seriously consider it either until they are ready. While you should continue to make an effort to point out facts and facts to the other person, be prepared to face the fact that it doesn't seem like the right time.

4. 

   
   
   Avoid arguing, criticizing, or scolding. When you talk to someone about your drinking habits, don't start by accusing or criticizing them. Avoid constantly nagging about drinking alcohol, as this runs the risk of making things worse. Arguing can make it harder for the other person to open up to you about why they drink.
   • Be careful that this creates the risk of personal attack or criticism. Part of an alcoholic's defense against fully acknowledging the negative consequences of their behavior is often making others the reason they drink. Therefore, often any comment that something is wrong will be said to be the "problem" as the main thing (like the job or the spouse), not the person himself.
   • Try to listen sincerely and know reasonable reasoning. Of course, this is easier said than done. But it's hard to get angry at someone who is agreeable, accepting, and honest.
   • You don't have to accept the blame or abuse. Healthy boundaries are important in dealing with alcoholics, as often this is flawed in people dealing with alcohol problems. Even if there are many problems that contribute to alcohol problems (eg, love problems), 'you really don't cause alcohol abuse'. Nor will you tolerate actions in a cruel, manipulative, irresponsible, or abusive way.
     • You have every right to leave or stay away from an alcoholic who acts badly.
     • This is not about "becoming cowardly" or "abandoning" the person. If alcoholics do not face that such behavior has negative consequences on their lives, they will be more inclined to continue drinking.

5. 

   Try to understand the other person. When you are talking about drinking, be sure to find out if there is a problem or something stressing them that is causing them to turn to alcohol. You should also discover if your partner has a good support system. If they don't, you may want to offer to create a support group for them.
   • The person may not want to discuss the issue that led to drinking or may deny that there is a problem.
   • However, understanding that drinking alcohol fundamentally changes people, the idea here is often that it is difficult to know what the real person is on the inside, and what the person is because drinking makes up.
   • Alcohol can cause irrational behavior, poor decision-making ability, and vague thinking. This may continue until the current alcoholic is not drinking. Asking an alcoholic "why did you do that?" may not yield a helpful answer. The "answer" could be as simple as "because of alcoholism".
   • It's okay if you still don't understand. Chances are you can't afford it, and you're not in the best position to do it. Loving your partner a lot doesn't mean you can adjust them. For example:
   • A 14-year-old may not understand the world in a 41-year-old's way.
   • A person who was not present at the battle cannot fully understand what it would be like to see a comrade die on the battlefield.

6. 

   Don't try to force the person to stop drinking. Alcoholism is a complex disease, and one of the troubles is its paradoxical nature; "Forcing or trying to embarrass the person properly is often ineffective." In fact, this could actually cause them to drink more.
   • Understand that you cannot stop the person from drinking. But you can offer to and assist the other person in seeking help.
   • However, this does not mean that you help them drink, or forgive them for drinking.
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Part 2 of 2: Becoming supportive

1. 

   Don't drink alcohol around your partner. Drinking alcohol when there is an alcoholic beside, like it or not, the alcoholic also has an argument "you can drink, why can't I?" There's nothing to worry about if you can control drinking, but they can't. This can lead to unhealthy drinking habits in your own life. You can help by meeting and spending time in many places without serving alcohol. This will make it easier for the person to give up alcohol.

2. 

   Talk to other people. Ask everyone to be with the other person as much as possible if they detect any disturbing behavior or if they think the other person is having a problem. Avoid telling them that the other person is an alcoholic and be careful not to tell anyone who doesn't need to know. Don't risk destroying their privacy.
   • If you think your partner is an alcoholic, it's time to get someone else involved. The problem is so big that you cannot handle it on your own, and you have to seek outside help to support the alcoholic as soon as possible.

3. 

   Talk to the other person. Remind them that you are worried, you care about them, and want them to accept help. Share your thoughts on what you discovered and ask what you can do to help. Be prepared when the other person doesn't want to ask you for help or avoid you for a while.
   • If the other person is open to accepting help, offer to see a specialist. Prepare a list of resources available to help alcoholics. The list should include the contact information of the local Alcoholics Anonymous Association to help people quit drinking without the participant's name, the names of the therapist and psychologist. Who specializes in helping alcoholics, and a list of educational rehabilitation centers.

4. 

   Try to connect with the expert. If an alcoholic refuses treatment or even weighs it, try to connect with a therapist. The therapist will have experience dealing with a wide variety of alcoholics, and will work with you to create a plan to help people with alcoholism.
   • A good therapist will know how to deal with defenses and many other behaviors that can disappoint or confuse family members.

5. 

   Stay motivated throughout the treatment. If the drinker really agrees to receive treatment and takes steps toward composure, make it clear that you are supportive of them and this is the best thing the other person can do. Take control of your partner's guilt or shame by showing that you are proud of them when you agree to accept help.

6. 

   Prepare to aid a relapse. If the opponent has attended a re-education center and has completed the course of treatment, they may be vulnerable to leaving. For most people, treatment never ends and alcoholism is something the other person must constantly deal with. Family and friends of alcoholics should continue to support them, even if they do come back. Relapses occur in almost all alcoholics.
   • Find some non-alcohol activities to do together. When alcoholics make drinking an important part of their lives, they often find that activity without alcohol seems unnatural. Being a good person and being a good friend means discovering that one can still be happy, socialize, and relax without drinking.
   • Encourage your partner to regularly attend Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings and get advice when needed. Let them know you are there to chat when they need it.

7. 

   Take care of yourself. Becoming a close friend or family member of an alcoholic can burn out and lead to feelings of helplessness and disappointment. Alcoholism is often referred to as a "family disease", because its consequences go far beyond the life limits of the person with alcohol problem. Spend time doing a variety of activities that help you feel comfortable and build your confidence and self-esteem during this time.
   • Consider getting treatment. It can be helpful to have someone chat about your feelings during these difficult emotional times.

8. 

   Spend time with friends and family members. You need to rest and avoid dealing with the other's drinking problem. While you focus on the well-being of an alcoholic family member, spending time with other people in your life can help your mind forget about depression and restore energy.
   • Make sure you are working on your personal issue at this stage. Avoid focusing too much on your partner with alcohol problems, to the point of hurting other relationships in your life or building dependencies on your own problems.
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Advice

• If your friends aren't willing to admit their problems, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Don't think things are directed at you or feel responsible for their drinking.
• If your partner is a part of your life in some way, then you are definitely affected by his drinking. Try heading to the alcohol detox meeting or at least find some of the Alcoholics Anonymous literature. There are many helpful coping tips.