Content

• Steps

Breaking up with someone is not easy! If you intend to break up with your boyfriend, you may be feeling stressed or unsure at this time. Before you talk to him about this, review all the reasons you want to break up and rehearse what you want to say. When you're ready, try to meet up to say goodbye if possible. You need to have a clear conversation and don't leave anything open, to avoid making him continue to hold hope. Finally, try to end up with respectful or positive words before leaving.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Choosing the farewell time and place

1. 

   Break up when you meet. You and your boyfriend definitely have a lot of memories together! The best way to respect this relationship is to meet in person to say goodbye. If you are in love far away and can't meet each other, you can video call or make a phone call.
   • Avoid breaking up with text messages on the phone or messenger, he will be very hurt and disrespectful if you do. You should only say goodbye by letter or email if you broke up before but because of him but it is unhappy.
   • If you have an abusive boyfriend, it's okay to break up by phone, email or letter because your safety is of the utmost importance.

2. 

   
   
   Meet him in a private place. You can invite him to go for a walk, meet in a park or somewhere similar. That way, when you finish saying your farewell, you can go away. If you invite him over to your house, it would be awkward when you break up or he will have to leave reluctantly.
   • If you're not sure how he will react, you can arrange a meeting in a more public place, like a coffee shop.
   • If you're afraid he might react negatively, invite a friend with you. This friend doesn't have to show up, but just stay nearby in case you need help.

3. 

   
   
   Choose a time to break up thoroughly. Choose a time that is right for both of you to have a private conversation without being distracted. It would be more appropriate to wait until the end of the day to talk than in the morning when he has a long day to study or work. If possible, choose Friday so that both of you have a weekend to deal with your own feelings.

4. 

   
   
   Don't rush or say goodbye while arguing. In a moment of anger, you will be more likely to say superficial words. Give yourself time to think carefully before breaking up. Maybe you will find that you want to work with him to solve the problem, or you will see the problem in a different way.
   • Give yourself a few days to think hard to make sure you want to break up.

5. 

   Don't wait too long or run away from facing the breakup. It's important to give yourself time to think carefully, but once you are sure you want to break up, don't hesitate. The more you hesitate, the more difficult it will be for him, or the breakup will show up and he accidentally hears this from someone else. advertisement

Part 2 of 3: Tell him how you feel

1. 

   Practice what you will say in advance. You can practice saying these things to a trusted person or practice on your own in front of a mirror. Anticipate his reactions and words and use that to prepare your responses.
   • Practicing first will help you avoid rambling or saying things that you will regret.
   • Remember, no matter how well prepared you are, he will probably react completely differently from what you expected.

2. 

   Straight to the problem. Breaking up itself was very difficult. So once you have started talking about this, don't go around unnecessarily. Let him know that you want to talk seriously. You can start a conversation with sentences like:
   • "There's this thing I wanted to tell you for a long time."
   • "I thought a lot about our relationship and made my own decision."

3. 

   Make it clear that you want to break up. Be gentle but determined so that he doesn't have to speculate on anything. Don't leave an open end open or make him continue to harbor false hopes. Your best bet is to say frankly that you want to break up. For example:
   • "I want to break up".
   • "I hope I can be friends, but not my girlfriend anymore."
   • "I don't feel happy when I'm together."

4. 

   Be frank about why you want to break up. Do not speak in an implicit or vague way. Your best bet is to be sincere and straightforward to tell him why the relationship between you two hasn't continued. You can say things like:
   • "I'm not ready for a serious relationship yet".
   • "I don't think we're okay. I don't feel happy anymore."
   • "We argue more than we are happy together."
   • "I have a crush on others".
5. Don't lie to make him feel better. "I don't have time to fall in love right now" is not a good excuse if you decide to break up for some more serious reason. Saying it like that is no different from giving him the chance. Maybe he'll keep in touch hoping you can get back together.

6. 

   Tell him you're sorry if it hurts him. Even though it should be very clear that you want to break up, it is still better to say sorry for doing so. Try to put yourself in his shoes to understand how it feels. You can say things like:
   • "I'm sorry to say this."
   • "I'm sorry if this hurts you."
   • "I know this might be difficult for you. I'm really sorry."

7. 

   Listen to him. Usually, your boyfriend will give his all after you break up. Be respectful and proactive, let him say what he needs to say, but if he starts to hold you back or tries to persuade you to change your mind, stick with your decision to break up. Then tell him it's time to go.
   • If he becomes rude or violent, say, "I don't feel good, I have to go." While leaving, call and let your friend know what's going on.

8. 

   End the conversation with respectful and positive words. Bring things up quickly and try to end things positively. Say things honestly instead of just to be kind or to end things quickly. You can say things like:
   • "I won't forget that special time we spend together".
   • "Someone else will be very lucky to be your girlfriend."
   • "I will still worry about you a lot".
   • "I'm really happy to know you".
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Part 3 of 3: The next step forward

1. 

   Cut off contact with him. After you have left someone's way, you need to minimize the communication between the two. Quickly return all that belongs to him so that the two of you will have no reason to talk to each other. Then, delete his contact information from your phone and cancel your social "friends".
   • Make sure you break up definitely. Do not hesitate to talk to him again to ask questions or comfort. Doing so will make him think he still has a chance to get back to you.

2. 

   Give him space. If you want the two of you to remain friends, give him space and time before meeting again. It's impossible for the two to immediately be friends, especially if he's shocked about the breakup. It's better to temporarily avoid the places he goes to often.

3. 

   Keep it short and fun when meeting is required. If you and your ex-boyfriend still have to keep in contact, then you should be cautious from the start. Excessive communication makes him think he still has a chance to come back. So, keep your conversations short and focused.
   • For example, if you meet him in a large group of people, you can say "Hello" and then sit next to others to limit your conversation with him.
   • Remember not to ask questions about your private life or talk about your private life every time you interact.

4. 

   Get help from family and friends. Being the one to take the initiative doesn't mean you don't suffer. Spend time with your friends and share with them how you feel. Just talk to yourself if necessary! Your family will always support you after the breakup.
   • For example, you might go to the movies with a group of best friends. Make sure to choose soft or humorous movies to keep the atmosphere going.
   • Going to eat with parents or siblings. Talk to them if needed, or just spend quality time chatting with them.

5. 

   Challenge yourself to new activities and network with new people. Ending a relationship can make your everyday life go blank by spending so much time with your ex. Make a little change by joining in new activities and doing some things differently.
   • For example, if you often go to class with your boyfriend, you can now start going to class with a new group of friends.
   • Try joining a club or organization, going to new restaurants or parks. Keep yourself occupied with social events and interesting activities.
   • Spend more time on hobbies, or start a new hobby that you've always enjoyed. For example, you could take a cooking class, play an entertaining sport, or go audition for a play.

6. 

   Give yourself some time before going on a date. After you break up, you need to give yourself time to let go of your old relationship before starting a new one. Take this time to practice taking care of yourself, reflecting on your past love mistakes and getting ready to start a new relationship. Dating too early won't be fair to newcomers if your crushing pain hasn't completely healed.
   • You'll be ready for a new relationship when you can stay calm and realistic about your ex and your ex and accept that the person no longer belongs to you.
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