Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Become more confident
• Method 2 of 3: Regain your confidence in your relationships
• Method 3 of 3: Regain self-confidence at work
• Warnings

A healthy dose of self-confidence can make you more successful and happier in your life. Research has shown that you are less likely to develop depressive symptoms if you have enough self-confidence, believe in yourself and have a positive feeling about yourself. A lack of self-confidence can actually have a negative effect on your mental health, your relationships, and your performance at school and at work. Fortunately, you can regain confidence in yourself in many different ways; both in general and in specific situations, for example in your relationships and at work.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Become more confident

1. Take a good look at yourself. If you have a chronic lack of self-confidence, you probably know exactly what you're doing wrong and what your flaws are, but what about your positives? Recognizing what you are doing well is a lot more difficult for most people. Researchers have found that the amount of self-confidence you have depends both on cognitive factors, such as positive memories you have of yourself and your behavior, and on self-evaluation, which is how positive you feel about what you do and how you behave. List everything you like about yourself; in other words, of the qualities and skills that make you "who you are".
   • It can help to literally sit down and list your assets just as they come to mind. Take a notepad or diary and set a kitchen timer for twenty to thirty minutes. Keeping a journal is a good way to have an ongoing open conversation with yourself about who you are and who you would like to be. It's a way to get yourself to think twice about who you are and get to know yourself better, and it may very well be that you learn all kinds of things about yourself that you didn't know about yourself.
   • Also think about the things you would like to improve about yourself, such as learning to stand up for yourself and become more confident. Don't just look at what you feel, but also at it why you feel that way. Begin to understand your true self, and allow yourself to exist. If you are not as good at some things as you are at others; you may feel confident in your relationship or at work, for example, and good enough until other people are involved in the situation, the first step towards change is to be able to recognize all different parts of you as a person.
2. Look back on your life and what you have already achieved. Chances are, you don't give yourself enough credit for everything you've done in your life. Take a moment to reflect on that and to look back on all your past successes, big and small, that is, all the things you have ever done and are proud of. This will help you appreciate your place in the world and the value you can add to the lives of those around you and to the community, and will help you build your confidence. Research has shown that in order to gain confidence, it is very important that you have a robust schedule of positive memories of your past achievements and talents. As you begin to accept that you have always been a radiant, hopeful, and confident person in the past, it will be easier for you to believe that you can be great again and do even more wonderful things.
   • At the same time, make a list of everything you have achieved so far. Keep in mind that you are really there everything not only the greatest successes you have achieved, but also the smallest achievements in your daily life. Your list could include things like learning to drive, going to college, living on your own, being a good friend, enjoying a meal, having a diploma or grade, the first 'serious' job ever got, and so on. The possibilities are endless! Grab the list from time to time to add things to it. You will see that you have a lot to be proud of.
   • Browse old photo albums, holiday scrapbooks or yearbooks, or think about whether you can make a collage of your life and everything you've achieved so far.
3. Try to think and believe positive things as much as possible. Instead of immersing yourself in negative thoughts, try to focus on positive, inspiring, and constructive things. Remember that you are a special and unique kind of person and that you deserve love and respect; from others as well as from yourself. Try these strategies:
   • Say and think positive things. Be optimistic and don't bring negative things at you by being pessimistic. If you expect negative things, they often happen. For example, if you think in advance that your presentation will not go well, it probably will not be a success. Instead, always try to be positive. Tell yourself, "It may be a huge challenge, but I can make something of it."
   • Think in terms of "I can" rather than "I really have to". If you say to yourself 'I really have to ...', you indicate that there is something you should do at that moment (when you are not doing it) that can put pressure on yourself if you do not meet those expectations. can meet. Instead, focus on what you CAN do.
   • Encourage yourself. In a positive way, give yourself motivation and appreciation for the positive things you do. For example, you may not be exercising as much as you would like, but you have spent an extra day at the gym in recent weeks. Give yourself positive feedback when you make good changes. For example, say to yourself, `` My presentation may not have been perfect, but my colleagues did ask questions and remained fascinated to the end, which means that I achieved my goal. '' Over time, you will feel different about yourself that way. start thinking and gain confidence.
4. Set your goals and expectations. Make lists of all the things you would like to achieve and then work to actually achieve those goals. For example, you can decide to volunteer more, take up a new hobby, or spend more time with your friends. Just make sure your goals and expectations are realistic. If you always try to achieve the impossible, you will gain less confidence instead of more.
   • For example, do not suddenly decide that your dream is to play hockey at a professional level or have a leading role with the National Ballet at the age of 35. That is unrealistic and chances are your confidence will take a hit if you find out how far away and unattainable your goal is.
   • Instead, set realistic goals for yourself, such as your determination to do better at math, learn to play the guitar, or become good at a new sport. If you set goals that you can work towards in a conscious and constant manner and that you can achieve sooner or later, you will be able to more easily break the cycle of negative thoughts that cause you to have low self-esteem. You will see that you can successfully set yourself goals and feel that you have achieved something.
   • You could also set goals for yourself that help you see and feel your own talents and skills. For example, if you would like to know better what is happening in the world, resolve to read the newspaper every day for a month. Or, for example, you would like to be less dependent on others, so you will learn how to fix your tire yourself. Achieving goals that provide things that will make you feel stronger and more useful will help you feel better about yourself as a person.
5. Pretend until you can, that is Fake it 'til you make it, as they say in English. There is some truth in this old saying. You don't get self-confidence from today or tomorrow, but now that you have a good idea of ​​who you are and what you want, you can pretend to be positive, which will eventually make you feel more confident on the inside. By simply being a confident one impression You can also really build more confidence because you start to notice how that affects the people around you.
   • Use your body language to convey confidence. Always keep your back straight when sitting and standing. Take relatively long, confident steps when you walk. Make plenty of eye contact when meeting people, and if you're nervous, try to always smile instead of looking away.
   • Smile more. Studies have shown that simply smiling can make you feel more positive about yourself.
   • Talk more (not less) and with more confidence. This is especially true for women, as women often tend to talk less and in a less assertive way, especially when men are also present. Make a genuine effort to make sure you are heard in social situations; your opinion matters and you can make an important contribution to the conversation. When you speak, speak clearly and articulate well. Try not to mumble or put your hands or fingers over your mouth.
6. Take risks. Remember that you cannot control everything that everyone thinks, feels, or does; you can only control yourself. Instead of fearing it, try to take advantage of all that uncertainty and lack of control. Accept that the world around you is a huge, insecure place by regularly trying something new. You will be amazed at how often you are successful if you are proactive, in other words, "who does not venture, who does not win". And if it does not work, you will see that your life continues in spite of that. However you look at it, taking a few risks and trying new things is one of the best ways to regain the confidence you've lost.
   • Have a chat with someone on the bus, send in a photo or a story to see if it gets published, or go crazy and ask your crush out. Choose something that will require you to get out of your comfort zone a bit and then just jump in the deep end knowing that your life will go on anyway, no matter how it ends.
   • Try out new activities; who knows, you might discover talents or skills that you didn't know you had. Maybe you can go for a run and find out that you are very good at running long distances when you never would have thought that before. This can greatly help boost your confidence.
   • Think about doing more artistic things like painting, making music, writing poetry and dancing. Art and expression often help people learn how to better express themselves and can give you a sense of "mastery" in a particular trade or skill. At many community centers or community centers you can take all kinds of courses that are low cost or sometimes even free.
7. Help someone. Research has shown that people who volunteer usually feel happier and have more self-confidence. It might not make sense that in order to feel better about yourself you should help someone else, but science does indeed show that feelings of social belonging that come with volunteering or helping others make us feel better. feeling more positive about ourselves.
   • There are many ways in which you can help other people near you or further away. Volunteer in a care home or homeless shelter. Help a church, ministry, community, or other institution in your area that works for the sick or the poor. Donate some of your free time and energy to a cause that works for the fate of people or animals. Become a CliniClown and help cheer up sick children. Collect waste during a cleaning campaign in the forest or in a park near you.
8. Take care of yourself. Taking time for yourself can also increase your overall self-confidence. The healthier your mind and body are, the more likely you are to be satisfied with yourself. This means that you do your best to healthy whatever that means for you personally. A few starting points are:
   • Eat at least three meals a day consisting of healthy foods rich in vitamins and minerals, such as whole grains, lean proteins (such as chicken and fish), and fresh vegetables, to ensure you always have energy and give your body everything it needs. need. Drink water to keep your body hydrated.
   • Avoid processed products and foods or drinks that contain a lot of sugar or caffeine. Such products can affect your mood, and if you are sensitive to mood swings or negative emotions, you should avoid them.
   • Exercise. Research has shown that by exercising you can give your self-confidence a big boost. This can be explained by the fact that your body produces the "happiness hormone" endorphins during exercise. With this feeling of euphoria you often also get more energy and you start to think more positively. Try to exercise vigorously for half an hour at least three times a week. Or if necessary, at least take a brisk walk every day.
   • Reduce stress. Make a plan to reduce stress in everyday life by making time for relaxation and for things you enjoy. Meditate, take a yoga class, garden, or do any other activity that will make you feel calm and optimistic. Keep in mind that when people suffer from stress, they are more likely to overreact or let their negative feelings dominate.
9. Get rid of the idea that you have to be perfect. Perfection is an artificial concept created and disseminated by society and the media. They do absolutely no favors for most of us, because they suggest that you CAN become perfect, and the problem is simply that we are not made for that. Nobody is perfect. Make that your motto. You will never have a perfect life, a perfect body, the perfect family, the ideal job, and so on. Just as you will never be able to be anyone else.
   • Concentrate on your effort rather than your desire to become perfect. If you don't try something because you're worried you won't do it perfectly, you don't stand a chance to begin with. If you never try to join the basketball team due to your lack of confidence, you can be sure that you will never play on the team. Don't let the pressure to be perfect hold you back.
   • Accept that you are only human, and people are not perfect by nature and they just make mistakes. In fact, our flaws make us human, and our flaws allow us to grow and improve. You may not have been selected for the study you wanted to do, or you may have been rejected for a job. Try not to blame yourself for your mistakes, but see them as opportunities for further learning and growth, and as things you can make up for in the future. You may realize that you need to think more about your future study track or that you need to work on your job application skills. Forgive yourself for what went wrong and move on. That is not easy, but it is very important that you break that circle of self-pity and a lack of self-confidence.
10. Do not give up. Becoming more confident takes time, because every flurry of self-confidence you achieve is initially temporary. To really gain confidence, you have to keep pretending to be confident and take risks.
    • Always remember that self-confidence is not something you achieve overnight; it is a process. Over the course of your life, you will constantly work on building and regaining your confidence, because life will throw surprises and obstacles at your feet all the time. You are constantly developing yourself, and the same goes for your self-confidence.

Method 2 of 3: Regain your confidence in your relationships

1. Take care of yourself. The only way you can become more confident in your relationships is to start feeling more confident in yourself. Follow the steps in Part 1 and first of all try to gain more confidence in yourself. Believing in yourself will take you one step towards building more trust in your relationships. In addition, try to spend time with yourself in a productive way and get satisfaction from it and enrich yourself with it; read a good book, take a nice walk, or do some sports. That way you will learn more about yourself and what you want exactly. You can then use that knowledge in your relationships with others.
   • Always remember that developing a healthy dose of self-confidence is an important part of having a successful love affair. In a study conducted among 287 young adults, researchers found that those who were more confident and thought positively about their appearance and character were more likely to have successful love relationships.
   • If your confidence has recently taken a hit as a result of a bad or broken relationship, take a moment to recover. Many studies have shown that a divorce or a dating that ends can have a negative impact on your mental and physical health. After such an experience, for example, you may experience more stress and anxiety, and you may be more likely to have an alcohol problem, or to suffer from diabetes or heart disease. It's never easy when your relationship ends, but you can recover from a broken relationship by taking the time to help yourself through it emotionally and then pick up the thread of your life again.
2. Think about your past. We cannot change the past, but we can change the way we look at the past, both for the good and the bad. Try to think about your past relationships and how those relationships affect the way you currently view the future. That way you can learn to accept your love past, without letting your past determine who you are.
   • For example, you may have ever been in a relationship with someone who was cheating on you. Rather than blaming yourself or carrying the burden of that relationship with you for the rest of your life, try to think about how that experience made it difficult for you to trust a potential partner right now. and how you are somehow always waiting for what bad will happen next. Simply knowing which areas of your relationship make you feel insecure will help you overcome those obstacles.
3. Don't lose sight of your future perspective. Once you've `` mourned '' a broken relationship and taken enough time to recover and get things straight, it will be easier for you to think positively about the future, and to see that the end of something, is always also the beginning of something else. Think of that huge wide world and all those people who walk around it; that means new opportunities rather than something to fear. After all, a lid fits every jar!
   • You will also realize that your love history does not reflect who you are, but rather broader situations involving other people and factors (such as third parties, long distances, the fact that you were not compatible, etc.). Relationships are not who you are, but something that you are part of. If it doesn't work you may feel like it's your fault at the time, but with a little time and perspective you'll discover that there were a lot of reasons why it didn't work between you and that it wasn't your fault in the first place. is.
4. Take risks. Try something new where you can meet new people and boost your confidence. Sign up on a dating website or just go out and try to meet new people at parties, events, fairs or courses. Be confident without fear of being rejected. You will be surprised how easy it is to start a conversation with someone you just met.
   • Women, in particular, often find it scary to approach men, because that's not the traditional way relationships usually started in the past. But we live in the 21st century today! If you're a woman who doesn't like to take the initiative, give it a try anyway. It gives you the chance to increase your love confidence! Take that opportunity, and the result will most likely surprise you! Always remember that if you don't try, you'll never know how things would have turned out.
   • You don't have to go out with everyone or try everything. Rather be selective. Enjoy the company and attention of the people you are attracted to and interested in, and remind yourself that there is still a lot you can do to contribute to a relationship.
5. Be yourself. Don't pretend to be someone else, don't put on a mask in front of others, or act on the stage to hide certain sides of yourself. Everyone is human and has vulnerabilities and mistakes. Show those weaknesses in your interactions with others and don't pretend to be better than you are. For example, if you like someone, try not to act "cool" by playing hard-to-get and pretending you're not interested. Rather go up to him or her and tell them that you love being there with them at that moment. Of course, being sincere, honest and yourself is REAL confidence. Plus, it will help you build real, natural relationships with people.
   • Also learn how to talk about your problems and insecurities. If you are trying to deal with the insecurities you face in a relationship and want to do something about it, you should always be honest with yourself and then with your partner. Honesty is the absolute best when it comes to relationships. Express what you feel and give it a name. Being open and honest IS the same as being confident.

Method 3 of 3: Regain self-confidence at work

1. Look at all the facts. If something negative happens at work, you can often think about nothing else, or what happened before or after the incident. Soon all you feel is anger and a thirst for revenge. In such a situation, try to take a step back and look at the situation from a less emotional perspective. For example, if someone else got the promotion you would have liked, try to think about the facts of the situation, instead of just thinking 'My boss must hate me' or 'I made a mistake , so it's my own fault that I didn't get any further. ”Instead, try to think about why the other person was a good candidate for the job and what you could work on to make sure you don't get passed over next time.
   • Always try to keep an overview. Rather than getting directly carried away by your emotions, when a coworker insults you or disapproves of your work, always try to think about why he or she is talking to you like that. Get rid of the idea that it will be because of something you did, and also consider things like stress and the other person's ego.
   • Also try to remember the concrete successes you have achieved in the past. For example, if you were promoted or received applause from your colleagues after a presentation, remind yourself and try to remember why you got that pat on the back in the first place. That way you can boost your confidence without relying on standard pep talk, because instead you use your own experiences and skills to motivate yourself and become more confident!
2. Concentrate on the work itself again. Sometimes certain practices at work or problems with colleagues can put a dent in your self-confidence at work. Perhaps you are being exploited by a stingy boss, have been given a lower position or fewer hours, or have been transferred to another department without consultation. Whatever the problem, the best way to deal with it and move forward is to stay focused on your work. For starters, that's why they hired you and what you're good at in the company. Ignore gossip and rumors, don't get distracted, and don't waste your time. In this way you show the company that you are a valuable employee and you immediately remind yourself of it.
   • If the humiliation or problems you face at work are actually abuse or discrimination, keep a record of what is happening and contact Human Resources or an independent agency (depending on the situation). ). You have the right to work without being abused, discriminated against or threatened in any way by other employees.
3. Develop yourself professionally. Do everything you can to work where you can get the best out of yourself. Never forget that you have strengths that are important and useful to the company and to your career.Training and courses can go a long way towards boosting your confidence at work. The broader your knowledge within your own field and at management level, the more confident you will become about how well you will be able to do your job. As long as you continue to focus on your work, you can make progress in your field, which should make you feel a lot more confident at work. If you stay at the same level for too long and keep doing the same thing for too long, you will eventually get bored and feel stuck. Instead, try to expand your knowledge!
   • There are a variety of free resources available to professionals that you can use to learn about and grow in new areas of your business. There are books and free courses available on the Internet to help you keep up-to-date with your work and various professional skills, such as management and teamwork. Your company's human resources department should also have access to support and training resources, and this, too, can be a great way to advance professionally. Ultimately, what matters is that you use the tools you have used to learn and grow. By simply taking action to grow, you often gain more self-confidence.
4. Learn new skills. Concentrate on your practical skills. Instead of focusing solely on your inner self, consider skills that are more focused on performing certain tasks, rather than on your character. Teach yourself new skills and try to get better at them, even if you may be unsure about certain tasks at first or you find it scary to get started. Admit your professional weaknesses and try to work on them. Fear can be a strong opponent, and the only way to overcome it and become more confident at work is to do exactly what you fear and become stronger and more resilient that way.
   • You may always get nervous when you have to give an oral presentation at work. Then try to work with your employer and your colleagues to improve your skills in that area in an encouraging way that is not threatening. Once you can give an oral presentation without getting nervous, you will naturally build the confidence you need professionally.
5. Radiate confidence. Feeling confident is one thing, but that is not the same as being able to convey that self-confidence at work. Ask yourself what you look like at work and always try to make sure that you make a professional impression (in a way that suits your profession) and look well-groomed; there are small, simple tricks you can apply to feel confident and strong so that you can be sure that you are ready for the day.
   • Also consider your performance in meetings. Do you make eye contact and give the impression that you are paying attention? Are you just sitting there, or are you doing your best to impress an interested and committed person by nodding at the right time or asking a question? Try to appear involved and interested and have an open, inviting attitude (for example, don't fold your arms) to show others that you are confident and enthusiastic when it comes to work.
   • Don't try to apologize all the time, especially if something isn't your fault. If you do, you indicate that you have little self-confidence and that you are dependent on the confirmation of others.

Warnings

• There is a difference between a lack of self-confidence and mental disorders such as depression and chronic anxiety. If you feel like you have no control over how your mood or the stress you're experiencing is affecting you, make an appointment with your doctor and ask if he or she can refer you to a therapist or a psychologist.