Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Assess the situation
• Part 2 of 3: Confirming your suspicion
• Part 3 of 3: Confront the person
• Tips

Sometimes it is difficult to tell if someone is intentionally unresponsive when you call. This can make you restless, hurt your feelings and create a socially uncomfortable situation. Before you rush, there are a few logical things you can do to determine if you are being avoided. When you're sure something's going on, you need some social skills to smooth things out between you and your friend.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Assess the situation

1. Check your call history. Check if all your calls to with your friend have been missed. What is the ratio between missed calls and answered calls? Pay attention to the call duration, the time you called, how often you called and whether the other person called you. If the ratio of missed calls, answered calls, and placed calls doesn't seem right to you, consider other reasons. Maybe the other person's phone plan is limited or they can't regularly buy or top up call credit / minutes.
2. Decide if you are calling at a convenient time. Think about things your friend might be doing. If you know him or her well and are aware of his or her schedule, consider what activities he or she might be engaged in. Maybe he's in a meeting or driving somewhere. Perhaps this is the time of day that the person takes a nap or goes to bed early. Have they reported an event they may be attending that is not part of their normal routine? Perhaps the ringer is off, the phone is on silent, or the battery needs to be charged. Don't jump to conclusions. The person may have good reason not to answer your calls.
3. Consider the status of your relationship. Has anything happened recently that made it uncomfortable between you and the friend? Could it be for any reason other than that they are busy avoiding your call? Think about the other person's behavior towards you lately. If it has been cold, perhaps distant, then there is a possibility that your calls will be ignored.
   • Be careful. Again, be careful and don't jump to conclusions. Your assessment of your relationship may be biased. Consider asking an unbiased friend for advice on this matter.
4. Call back at another time. Pick a time when you know the other person is available to talk. When you make a call, let the phone ring for at least a minute, in case the other person has to hurry to answer. Maybe his phone is just out of reach or in another room. Give the person the benefit of the doubt.

Part 2 of 3: Confirming your suspicion

1. Call from another phone. If the other person does not respond, call back again. If there is still no response, please leave a message asking to call you back and briefly explaining why you are calling. Unless it's an emergency, resist the temptation to call someone repeatedly in the hope that your call will be answered. This can be annoying and considered rude.
   • When leaving a voice message, keep your message short and speak slowly, including your name and phone number. If you call a number that they share with others (such as a landline number), say who you want to speak to. Speak clearly and calmly. This is especially important if the person you are calling is an acquaintance or someone you know professionally.
2. Ask a mutual friend if he / she has spoken to him / her recently. It is possible that your mutual friend knows if the person you want to reach is avoiding your calls or if he or she is busy with another activity and does not have the time or opportunity for a phone conversation at the moment. A mutual friend may also be able to give you an indication of whether or not your calls are being ignored.
3. Ask someone else to call your friend. If your call is not answered, have someone else call that person immediately after you do. If their call is answered but yours isn't, your friend may be avoiding your calls.
   • If you are good friends with the mutual friend, explain the situation to him or her. If their call was answered, they may weave into the conversation that both of you tried to call and your call was not answered.
   • Make sure to pick a friend who is socially intelligent: Pick someone who gets along well with others and who you've seen successfully navigate tricky social situations, such as making peace between two friends. A socially intelligent friend will be better able to assess the situation and give you advice.
4. Try an alternative form of communication. It is possible that the friend has lost his phone or would rather text than make a phone call. If you have a good relationship with him or her, you may have an idea of ​​what form of communication he or she prefers. Try specific social media that the person uses frequently.
5. Evaluate your relationship. Is this a really close friendship or a family member or someone you want a smooth relationship with? Has anything happened recently that could explain the other person's behavior? Have you recently exchanged harsh words or did anything that could have offended the other person?
   • If the answer to all questions is no, then ask yourself if it is worth worrying about it. Let it go, engage in other things, and try other ways of communicating as needed. Consider reducing the frequency of your calls if you still have your friend ignoring you. Either way, your feelings will be less likely to get hurt that way.
   • If this is a relationship you want to run smoothly, then you will have to put in some effort to make things better.
6. Change your behavior. If you know that something you've done or are doing is causing your conversations to be avoided, try to show you're sorry or stop doing that particular thing. Pay special attention to the way you behave on the phone. For example, if you know that your friend doesn't like to gossip but you do, don't gossip about others when you call them. Or if you've recently hurt their feelings, meet them somewhere or write a letter to apologize.
   • Once you make it up with a person, they are unlikely to avoid you.
7. Talk to the person in person. If changing your behavior doesn't rectify the situation or you want to get to the heart of the matter, talk to him or her about what's going on. Ask him or her to meet at a time that is convenient for both of you. Make sure you allow enough time in case you have a long conversation. Tell him or her that you have noticed that he or she is missing your calls lately and that you are wondering why.

Part 3 of 3: Confront the person

1. Speak in a calm and gentle voice. Avoid speaking in an accusing tone. This is especially important if the other person is already angry. Being confrontational may only make the problem worse. Often it is not what is said, but the tone in which it is said that makes friendships sour.
2. Be direct. Ask him why he is ignoring your calls. Ask if there is anything you have done or anything the other person wants to talk about. Give specific examples of times you have called. Listen patiently to his or her explanation without interrupting the other. Explain your position on the situation. Avoid pointing the finger or blaming someone: you're trying to solve a problem, not blaming someone for the problem.
   • Avoid name calling and be polite: that way you can better show that you are frustrated because it affects you.
3. Discuss the issues raised. Discuss solutions for all the points that are raised. This indicates that you want to make things better between you. Try to see things from the other person's point of view and empathize with him or her. Continue doing whatever you think you can do to make things better between you.
4. Let it go. Agree to raise any issues in the future rather than avoid each other. Avoiding problems does not solve them and often makes them worse. Accept that sometimes life is busier than usual or that friends grow apart over time. If it is difficult for your friend to talk on the phone as often as before, try to find other ways to stay in touch.

Tips

• Don't go too far with other means of communication either! This includes emails, text messages, etc.
• Some people prefer to have a face-to-face conversation or communicate via text message rather than over the phone. Find a balance between your preferences.