Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 2: Recognizing clues that she is hiding something
• Part 2 of 2: Confronting her with what she is hiding
• Tips
• Warnings

All people have secrets from time to time, and that includes girls. If a girl is hiding something, it's not necessarily a bad thing - she might be secretive about a surprise birthday party, for example. But there are certainly times when the secrets are more serious. There are ways to find out when a girl is hiding something, many of which are supported by psychological and scientific research.

To step

Part 1 of 2: Recognizing clues that she is hiding something

1. Be aware when something seems to be wrong with her. If this is someone you spend a lot of time with, you will probably soon notice that something seems different or not right. Make a mental note of it and continue to observe if it appears different.
2. Keep track of when her behavior changes. As soon as you notice she's acting differently, start paying attention to when her behavior changes. Look for patterns that give you a sense of what could be causing her to behave differently.
   • Does her attitude change when a particular topic is raised?
   • Does the change occur when a particular person is around?
   • Does she seem uncomfortable when you are in a specific place?
   • Is there an upcoming event she doesn't want to discuss?
3. Make comments about her changed behavior. Again, if you know her very well, noticing differences in her behavior should be quite easy. While you can narrow down the common cause of her sudden mysterious behavior to a few possibilities, observe her for any habits or indications of lies or secrecy.
   • She seems to be thinking very hard
   • Her eyes keep darting towards an exit
   • She often pauses before answering something
   • She quickly changes the subject
   • She folds her arms or protects other sensitive areas, such as her throat
   • She goes into too much detail
   • She leans back, as if she wants to physically distance herself
   • She keeps her arms and legs motionless
   • She shows a lack of empathy or makes almost no gestures
   • She stops making "I" statements and refers to other people by name, instead of "him" or "her"
   • She no longer answers questions at all
   • She clears her throat and swallows hard and frequently
4. Think about the seriousness of what she seems to be hiding. When observing her behavior and what causes it, think about what she might be hiding and how serious it is.
   • If you are in a relationship with her, she may be hiding that she is cheating on you or that she has taken up a bad habit that she promised to give up, such as smoking. If she's a friend, she might be hiding something said about you behind your back.
   • There is always the chance that she is hiding something positive, such as a surprise gift or a party. It's important to give her the benefit of the doubt.
5. Write down your suspicions to prepare to confront her. Listing your suspicions, or working out a more serious one in detail, will help you appear in appearance and feel more prepared when you confront her. It also gives you the ability to refer to what behavior, words or actions led you to these conclusions.
   • Name any strange behavior, including things she has said, ways she has acted, and any strange behavior she has engaged in.
   • Write down your observations about which subjects or people seem to be driving these changes in her behavior.
6. Get the opinion of a mutual friend about your suspicions. Pick someone you both know and ask them if they have noticed the same strange behavior. This person may know her side of the story and can help you see if there is anything you are missing that explains the behavior or if your observations are correct.

Part 2 of 2: Confronting her with what she is hiding

1. Find a time to talk to her. Depending on your relationship, you may plan to talk to her at home or make plans to meet her for lunch, for example.
   • If you plan ahead of time, don't indicate that you want to talk to her about her secretive behavior. This will likely cause her to decline your invitation and make it more difficult for you to talk to her and find out what's going on.
2. Raise the subject calmly and rationally. There is the possibility that she will go crazy if you bring up the topic, so do your best to keep the situation calm by staying calm yourself.
   • However, this doesn't mean you should be evasive or vague about where you're going. You need to be clear and clear about her secrecy so that she fully understands the conversation.
   • "Lately I have been feeling like you are holding something back from me. My relationship with you is important to me, so I'd like to talk about it. "
   • "You have responded interestingly a number of times to the comments I made recently. I don't mean to offend you, but it looks like you might be hiding something from me. Can we talk about it?
   • "I've noticed lately that usually when I'm around you, you seem very nervous. Is there something you would like to talk about? "
3. Explain your thoughts and observations so that she sees that you are concerned. You're having this conversation with her because you're concerned about what's going on, and you want to fix it, so help her understand that with your words and gestures.
   • I've noticed lately that when Bryan is around you get distant and closed. I wonder what happened to make you react so differently to him? I am here to help you. "
   • "Lately you have become a little secretive when we talk to other people about our plans. I'm worried, and I want to know if there's anything you want to tell me. "
   • The last time we were in Mrs. Smit's class, you seemed very jittery and nervous. I'm here for you if you want to talk about what's causing it. "
   • "You told me the other day that you would stay in and read a book until you fell asleep, but Stacy said the two of you were going to dance. I am hurt that you lied to me and I wonder why you felt the need to do that. "
4. Listen carefully to her answer. Don't forget to stay calm and allow her to respond to you without interrupting you. If she continues to be secretive, let her know that she is behaving in a way that implies she might be lying, such as not wanting to maintain eye contact, frequent pauses in her response, or giving too much detail. Then ask her again to be honest with you.
   • If she continues to refuse to tell you what's really going on, then you should consider the value of this friendship or relationship. What does it say about your relationship with her if she doesn't want to tell you the truth?
   • "I heard you say that ..."
   • "I understand you feel like ..."
   • "I appreciate you agreeing to talk to me about this, but I feel like you're still not being completely honest. Can you be completely open and honest with me? "
   • "I am really happy that we have the opportunity to talk about this. However, it seems you have more to say. Go ahead and tell me. "
5. Give yourself time to process what she's been saying. In case she does tell you what she's been hiding, give yourself time to process it, especially if it's something negative.
   • Consider her reasons for hiding it from you and the validity of those reasons. Should she have been honest with you from the start, or is her secrecy understandable?
   • Evaluate the relationship: was it correct to withhold information from you and what can be done to fix the pain that has been caused?

Tips

• Always give her the benefit of the doubt before assuming the worst.
• Be open to what she has to say because it may not be what you expect. Try to enter the conversation with an open mind and a willingness to really listen to her.

Warnings

• Watch for signs that she is lying, such as those outlined above.