How to deal with fake friends

Content

Steps
Part 1 of 3: How to communicate
Part 2 of 3: How to Recognize Problem Situations
Part 3 of 3: How to set boundaries
Tips

Fake friends are not always easy to spot, as these people are masters of deception and manipulation. If you don't feel supported and accepted, these friendships can be fake. At times, life confronts us with similar people. They can be found at work or in a circle of mutual acquaintances. Try to behave in a way that does not allow emotional exhaustion. So, learn to recognize and prevent problem situations. If the relationship becomes unbearable, find a polite way to end the relationship with the person.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: How to communicate

1 Set boundaries for time and emotional space. It is not always wise to waste time and energy on false friends. Evaluate how realistic it is to tolerate such a person in order to properly manage your time.
- Establish a framework for communication. You shouldn't devote a lot of time and attention to a person who constantly violates your boundaries, ignores you, and is disrespectful in other ways. This behavior is very typical of fake friends.
- You don't have to respect someone who is disrespectful to you. If it is impossible to make common plans or communicate with a fake friend, then behave accordingly. You can spend time together in the company of mutual friends, but give up attempts at close communication and get rid of the person's personal problems. Save your emotional energy for loyal friends.
2 Evaluate your fake friend's behavior soberly. False friends rarely change, and sometimes they can even become violent oppressors. Always be sober about the situation and the prospects of communicating with a fake friend. Very often, this interaction gives negative feelings. If you are prepared for a bad attitude, then it is much easier to get over such a situation.
- If your friend constantly says dubious compliments or insidiously insults you, then be prepared for such a development of events the next time you meet. Tell yourself: "This is Anya, she is always like that."
- Don't expect too much from the person. The fake nature of a relationship you held dear can be a big blow. Try to accept the fact that this person is simply not capable of giving you emotional satisfaction or a sense of joy.
3 Observe the nature of the friendship for a while. At times, fake friendships can take on ugly forms and rarely stand the test of time. Evaluate the fake friend's behavior regularly. Watch for signs of deteriorating relationships and insults that border on bullying.
- Critically evaluate the behavior of a false friend. Think about how uncomfortable you feel in the presence of such a person. Is it getting harder and harder to communicate with your friend? Does she continually bring drama to her relationships with you and the rest of her friends?
- Any friendship changes over time. Even a fake friend can change. Sometimes they become real friends. It is important to notice changes in relationships. If the person begins to relate to you better, then try to continue communication and build a friendship.
4 Consider your emotional needs. When dealing with fake friends, it is easy to forget about your desires and needs. You may find that you go out of your way to please someone who is impossible to please. If communication brings more unpleasant moments than joy, then put your emotional needs first. Try to stop communicating for a while, or start paying less attention to the person if the friendship is too tiring.

Part 2 of 3: How to Recognize Problem Situations

1 Notice inappropriate behavior. You do not need to communicate with people whose behavior is unacceptable from your point of view. In attempts to find a common language with false friends, one should decide what actions of such people are unacceptable. If this behavior has become the norm for a friend, then stop communicating immediately. Use your own feelings to determine inappropriate behavior.
- If your communication constantly leads to intractable arguments, then it is likely that the person is not respecting your boundaries. A fake friend may deny your perception of your behavior and insist that you are too sensitive.
- Avoid treating yourself in a way that causes tension, anxiety, or discomfort. Actions that hurt your self-esteem or self-esteem are also unacceptable.
2 Watch for signs of bullying. Sometimes fake friends cross the line between lack of respect or rivalry and outright bullying. If you are being mistreated or mistreated, consider ending the relationship. Learn to notice signs of bullying.
- Bully people usually have very low self-esteem. They want to shift their own insecurities and frustrations onto other people. Such a friend will start criticizing you for every little thing. He may become unbalanced and constantly speak words or do things that are designed to hurt you.
- It is sometimes difficult to know where the line that separates disrespect and bullying lies, but be vigilant. Bullying can seriously damage your self-esteem. Watch the attitude towards you. If a person constantly violates boundaries and does not apologize, then his behavior can be called bullying. It is better to end this relationship immediately.
3 Pay attention to how real friends treat you. Learn to identify true friends so that you can immediately notice the pernicious behaviors of fake friends. Loyal friends always provide sincere support and care. It's easy to judge by their attitude how much care or friendship you deserve.
- Socializing with friends is always a joy. Friends enjoy your company, respect your boundaries and treat you kindly. Unlike fake friends, real friends value you as a person. They don't expect you to change and become someone else.
- Friends can voice constructive criticism or worry about your behavior as needed. Unlike fake friends, they don't seek to make you feel uncomfortable all the time. Friends wish you only the best and express genuine concern.
4 Signs of pathological addiction. Fake friends are often addicted to other people. They seek to manipulate with emotion. This kind of “friendship” gives them a sense of consistency. False friends don't appreciate others. Sometimes it is difficult to recognize a fake friend, because he can hide such an addiction under the guise of love and care, rarely show aggression. If you are in such fake friendships, then you need to take steps to resolve the situation.
- Friends who feel addicted rarely act decisively. They often agree with you. However, later the consequences of such consent come. They may declare that they did not like your proposal at all, put forward more and more unreasonable demands on you.
- A friend who is dependent on you may not always be able to take responsibility for his actions.He may criticize you or deny guilt if you complain about the actions of such a friend.
- Consider seriously whether the time is worth wasting in this kind of relationship. This addiction can soon tire you out and backfire.
5 Prevent emotional blackmail. Fake friends often use a trick like emotional blackmail. It's important to cut off this behavior and focus on your own well-being. Emotional blackmail is a form of manipulation in which a person uses anger, rage, or shame to get the desired behavior from you.
- A fake friend can turn out to be a great expert at emotional blackmail and make negative remarks under the guise of compliments. For example, if your friend did not like your act, she may say: "It seemed to me that you were higher than this. I can not believe that it was you who came to this."
- If your behavior does not live up to expectations, then emotional blackmail can include angry threats or warnings. For example, a friend may say: “I have no idea what I’ll do if you don’t come with me to this party. Perhaps, if you refuse, I’ll just get drunk.” The person will try to shift responsibility for their behavior onto you.
- Don't fall for emotional blackmail. Stop such conversations and do not reply to messages.

Part 3 of 3: How to set boundaries

1 Consider your own needs. Take the first step towards healthy boundaries and acknowledge your needs in any relationship. All people in a relationship have certain rights. Understand these rights and decide if it is worth wasting time with a fake friend.
- What makes you feel comfortable in a relationship? What qualities do you value in friends? Common interests, kindness, compassion? Does this person have such qualities?
- Is a friend breaking your boundaries? Doesn't he care about your emotional well-being at all? You should always have a compassionate friend.
2 Decide if the friendship is worth keeping. It is not always wise to maintain fake friendships. If a person's behavior causes more and more problems, then it is completely normal and natural to end the relationship.
- Assess the implications of this friendship for your self-esteem. Do you lose confidence around fake friends? Do you take their criticism and complaints to heart?
- Do you even want to see such a person? You may be spending time together just out of a sense of duty. Do you feel stressed when meeting a fake friend? In this case, it is better to end the friendship.
3 Find a polite way to end a toxic relationship. If you've come to the conclusion that you shouldn't continue your fake friendship, find a polite way to end the relationship. Always be direct about it.
- This method may seem aloof, but sometimes it is easier to write a message or letter, especially to a person in whose presence you feel stress. No need to list grievances or sarcasm. A simple message like "I'm sorry, but it seems to me that our friendship is not working out and we should stop communicating" is quite enough.
- Don't let your emotions run wild. Even if you are rightly offended by a bad attitude, being rebuked can make the situation worse. Try to stop communicating without hostility and don't be dramatic.
4 Talk less with fake friends, but don't end the relationship. You don't have to end your relationship with every fake friend. Sometimes it is impossible to stop communicating if you have to see a person from time to time. For example, you may be linked by mutual friends or work. Just accept the fact that you have to meet with each other occasionally. Do not invite the person to see eye to eye and do not invite a close circle of friends to meetings. Try to keep a respectful distance.