Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Read his body language
• Method 2 of 3: Recognize flirtation
• Method 3 of 3: Differentiate love from attraction

Sometimes one of the hardest parts of starting a new relationship is knowing if a potential partner is interested in you. Boys, in particular, seem difficult to fathom, and gauging their actual interest can be tricky. A little detective work combined with common sense and regular conversation can help you determine if love is there.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Read his body language

1. Look at his eyes. A guy who is interested in you is likely to show this with his eyes. Some of his behavioral traits may seem a bit contradictory depending on his personality.
   • A guy who is interested in you will likely try to make frequent eye contact. He will look you in the eye while you are talking to him, and you may find him looking at you from across the room.
   • A shy boy may avoid eye contact while talking because he is nervous. If he's awkwardly looking around like he's not sure what to look at, this could be a sign that he likes you. If he's just looking at his phone or someone else, he's probably not interested.
   • People's pupils dilate when they see something interesting. If his pupils have dilated (the black part is bigger than usual), he might be interested in you.
2. Observe his posture. Males, like many mammals, change their posture when trying to impress a female of the same species.
   • He has not crossed his arms and legs. Crossed arms and legs are body language for "No, stay away!"
   • He can lean towards you while talking to you.
   • He will likely stand up straight with shoulders straight, to appear taller and more impressive.
   • He can even stick his pelvis forward. Some men unconsciously (or consciously) push their genitals forward when talking to someone they are interested in.
3. Pay attention to touch. One of the clearest signs of interest is if he finds a reason to touch you. If you're talking and he touches your arm or hand, he's probably testing to see how you respond to his touch.
   • Encourage touching by doing it yourself. Lightly touch or squeeze his arm and look him in the eye while you are talking to him. You should be able to tell from his response whether he is interested.
   • Just keep in mind that you need to compare his touch with his normal behavior. If he seems to be hugging everyone who walks up to him, then it doesn't have to mean anything if he gives you a hug.
4. Watch for facial cues such as blushing and smiling. A guy who is interested in you is likely to smile and laugh at your stories often, even if they aren't particularly funny.
   • If a guy is shy, he will likely blush when you talk to him. Notice any redness on his cheeks or sweaty palms (he may be wiping his palms on his clothes or rubbing his hands nervously).
   • If he is nervous, he is more likely to say something awkward or painful and then blush. Try to make him feel comfortable.
   • Nervousness can be a sign of interest. Do your best to make him feel comfortable by being friendly and encouraging him to talk to you.
5. Pay attention to mirroring. Men and women will both inadvertently copy the behavior of a person they are interested in. This means that she copies his mannerisms (and vice versa) to convey the message that they are similar and therefore compatible.
   • You can test this by doing something you normally wouldn't do, such as bringing your hand to your mouth or stretching. See if he does the same.

Method 2 of 3: Recognize flirtation

1. Compare the boy's tone and mannerisms with yours and others. The key to recognizing if a guy is flirting with you is noticing the differences between the way he talks to you and the way he talks to other people.
   • Some guys try to make their voices sound lower and more masculine when they talk to you and have a crush on you.
   • Sometimes guys will whisper or talk very quietly with someone they are interested in. This should allow you to get closer to him, or signal to you that you have a secret connection.
2. Rate his enthusiasm for your interests. If he seems overly interested in everything you do or say, then he is probably interested in you, not necessarily your areas of interest. Few people have the exact same hobbies and passions, but all people look for similarities when they potentially start a new relationship.
   • Make sure to ask him about his interests in turn. By showing enthusiasm for the things he loves, you send a signal that you are interested in him too. If you can encourage him to share this with you, it will also make you seem less focused on yourself.
3. Look at his clothing and grooming. If he knows he is going to meet you, then he can pay special attention to his appearance. Notice if he has put on fancy clothes or made up his hair more carefully than usual.
   • It's nice to compliment him on his appearance when he shows a little extra effort in that area.
   • A guy who's willing to make himself beautiful just for you is probably a better potential boyfriend than one who doesn't want to make an effort to impress you.
4. Watch for obvious flirtation. Things like hackneyed catchphrases or winks are traditional signs that he's flirting with you, and guys who really don't have any other ideas about how to flirt will go to this for want of better.

Method 3 of 3: Differentiate love from attraction

1. Start a meaningful conversation with him. In a love affair you should be able to talk about a wide variety of topics. Make sure you have a real conversation with him, where both of you speak up.
   • This can be about anything from your hopes and dreams to past relationships and your favorite celebrities.
   • If he doesn't contribute to a conversation or your opinion doesn't seem to interest him, then the feelings aren't mutual and so he's not a good catch.
2. Go on a chaste date. Especially if you are in a physical relationship, you can go on a date or spend time together without involving physicality. Having fun together without romance or passion is essential to a healthy relationship and can help you distinguish between a guy who is interested in you and one who is only interested in your body.
3. Weather fix together. Of course, this is not something you can direct, but if one of you is going through something emotional and heavy, you can often measure the depth of someone's feelings for you.
   • Share your feelings about the event with your partner.
   • State your emotional needs, but remember that guys are often reluctant to share their emotions. This does not mean that he is not interested in you.
4. Be honest about your feelings and see how he reacts. If you are in love with him and you want to know if he feels the same way, tell him how you feel.
   • If you tell him you love him, keep in mind that he doesn't have to say it right away. This does not mean that your relationship is over; he may just need some time to get used to the idea.
   • Watch his body language when you tell him how you feel. If he feels physically uncomfortable right away, he may not share the same feelings.
   • If he is unresponsive and seems indifferent, then he may not really care about you.
5. Talk about the future. Talking about the future serves two purposes. First, it can be a way of assessing whether you have common goals and values, which can indicate that you are compatible in the long run. Second, it can tell if someone is only interested in a short romance.
   • Start by talking about your own goals and ideas for the future.
   • In the end, ask if he can envision a future with you.
   • Know that goals and visions for the future can change enormously, especially when you are young. It is good to list those ideas once in a while.
6. Spend time with his family. If a guy invites you to spend time with his family, he probably loves you. He is unlikely to introduce a girl to his family if he is not interested in her. By getting to know his family, you can learn a lot about his background and the kind of environment he's used to.
   • Answer this by inviting him to spend time with your family.
   • Even if his parents (or yours) do or say something embarrassing, it doesn't matter and you have something to laugh about later.
   • Boys are often very close to their mothers. If you can impress his mom and she likes you, the boy will probably be proud to take you home.
   • Be nice about his family. Sometimes people are ashamed of their family situation and you can alienate yourself from them by making fun of their family, even if you only mean it as a joke.