Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Finding your voice
• Part 2 of 3: Interact with others
• Part 3 of 3: Be effective
• Tips
• Warnings

Would you like to feel more confident about expressing your feelings and thoughts? Would you like people to actually hear your views and not take them for granted? Do you find it difficult to defend your own perspective in conversations? Boldness is a quality with which, if you combine it with wisdom and skill, you can distinguish yourself from the rest. To be bold involves showing what you have to say, being honest and sincere, and being forthright but tactful. Being bold doesn't have to mean being an open book or hanging on to all the details about your life. It's not the lack of boundaries or class. It does not mean that you immediately express a cartload of negativity and criticism if you see the opportunity to do so. Boldness is a positive and desirable quality.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Finding your voice

1. Gain self-knowledge through journal writing. Knowing who you are, what you believe, what you think, think and want are the first steps you have to take to get to know yourself. Journal writing is an excellent way to gain that knowledge. Try to write at least 15 minutes in your diary every night before going to bed. Journal writing not only allows you to get to know yourself better, but is also an excellent way to boost your confidence. Confidence is the foundation of boldness. Try to answer the following questions in order to take the right path to increased self-knowledge:
   • What would your ideal birthday present be, and why?
   • What's the bravest thing you've ever done?
   • Who do you admire and why?
   • How would you like to be remembered?
2. Be self-assured. To be bold, you must believe that your voice is valuable. You have to believe that your input will make every conversation better. And it probably will! It is the different and divergent opinions that make conversations or debates so interesting.
   • If you are struggling with your confidence, you can start with specific topics that you are familiar with. The more you know about a particular topic, the easier it will be for you to talk about it.
   • For example, if you are an avid judoka, talk about judo. If you have green thumbs, talk gardening. First of all, try to feel comfortable talking about topics that are close to your heart.
   • Practicing with topics you are expert in will help you expand into more abstract topics such as government, ethics or religion.
3. Overcome your shyness. Just because you have self-confidence doesn't mean you love to hear your own voice. The next step is to overcome your shyness. Overcoming a natural tendency to shyness can seem like a daunting task, but doing the opposite of what your natural instinct tells you can open up a whole host of new choices: bolder choices.
   • The popular sitcom Seinfeld has an episode called "The Opposite". In this episode, George establishes that every choice he has ever made has been the wrong one. He comes to the conclusion that if he does the opposite of what his instinct tells him, he will get better results. George then decides to do the opposite of what he normally would in every situation. At the end of the episode, which began with George still living with his parents and unemployed, George has found a job with the New York Yankees and is able to move into a home of his own.
4. You can find strengths. Our strengths usually stem from our interests. Interests reveal passions. Being bold is easy when you talk about your interests and passions. Once you have identified your strengths, you can be confident in expressing your views and beliefs. You can even take a leadership role in projects or activities for which you can use these strengths. Ask yourself the following three questions to discover your strengths:
   • Where are my interests?
   • What are my hobby's?
   • What are my best subjects in school?
   • In which areas do I excel in my work?
5. Develop your opinions. Of course, you don't want to sound like you have no idea what you're talking about or else no one will be listening to you soon. Plus, it's going to be really hard to be bold if you don't have a clue what to say! Think about how you feel about the popular or controversial topics in your social circles. After all, only you have the answer - and you can't be wrong!
   • If you really don't think you have an opinion on something, do some research and find out what you think about it.
   • Know that lacking an opinion can also be a point of view in itself: you just don't think that topic is important and don't think it's worth discussing it.
   • For example, you can drop out when it comes to showbiz gossip because you don't care. It's okay to say something like, "I have other priorities right now" or "I don't have an opinion on that."
6. Back up your opinion with facts. Some people don't feel comfortable having or sharing an opinion because they don't know very much about the subject. You can combat this feeling and gain confidence in your opinion by learning facts that support your opinion.
   • For example, if your friends and family are constantly talking about the changes in healthcare, you can read a few articles about it and determine how you feel about it. If you can substantiate your opinion with facts, you will feel more comfortable speaking up.
7. Don't fight every fight. You don't want to become the type who keeps expressing his unsolicited opinions, seeming to act boldly in order to act boldly, or always wanting the last word. Instead, you should know what things are really important to you or what you are really passionate about and leave it at those things.
   • Wait to speak until you really care about an issue. If you keep expressing your opinions or contradictions, you will appear combative and irritating. It's about letting people hear what you think and making them care about it; it is not meant to be thrown to death.
8. Know that restraint also has its place. Western society is generally more likely to push us towards the extroverts. In the workplace, people who speak up, initiate conversations and forge meaningful working relationships are generally more appreciated. However, there is nothing wrong with people who are more reserved. Sometimes taking a step back can be an extremely diplomatic and effective method of communication.
   • As with most other things, the golden mean is the best here. Continued boldness should not be your goal. The goal is to be bold if, and only if, you feel like your position or opinion is underrepresented or in need of defense. If that is not the case, you can watch the cat from the tree.
9. Broaden your view. This is just good use for discussion purposes. In order to express your opinion and come across as a rational person to be listened to, do not appear narrow-minded, bigoted, or arrogant. Letting the other parties make their point will make you appear more reasonable and balanced.
   • This is important before, during and after expressing your opinion. It's just as impressive to say something like, “You know what ... You're right. I've never looked at it that way, ”if it is to overwhelm someone with a deluge of indisputable facts. There are a lot of people who can put off an unstoppable rant; there are a lot fewer who can stop and admit that they might be wrong.

Part 2 of 3: Interact with others

1. Practice with a trusted friend. It is all too easy to mistake boldness for rudeness and dogmatism. To master the intricacies of boldness, ask a good friend to help you. Practice expressing your opinions freely and boldly with him / her. By giving you constructive criticism, your friend can help you really master your boldness.
   • Being bold may sound like, "I really love astronomy, and I think studying the starry sky can teach us a lot more."
   • Being rude and dogmatic sounds like, "If you can't enjoy the starry sky, you're an idiot."
2. Try to let go of your fears. If you are concerned about what other people say or think about you, you will quickly feel intimidated. However, you have to let that go. Being able to express yourself well, and first of all having researched the matter well and forming a clear opinion, can help you feel more confident about what you have to say and will be less concerned about the opinions of others.
3. Be tactful. You can be bold, tact, and consider the feelings of others at the same time. Knowing when to be bold and knowing what to say can be a matter of tact.
   • If you are a committed atheist, a church memorial service for a recently deceased family member is probably not the best place to proclaim that people who die are just dying and not going to heaven or hell at all. It's a lot more tactful to keep your opinion to yourself in that context.
4. Be articulate. It is a great shame to allow a good argument to be undermined by incorrect diction. Many people focus so much on how things are said that they miss what is actually being said. You can avoid that problem by doing your best to be as articulate as possible. Think about how other articulate people, such as newsreaders and television presenters, tend to speak and seem to arrange their thoughts — then try to imitate them.
   • Sometimes eloquence isn't just about pronouncing difficult words. Being short and to the point can be just as effective, provided you present solid information.
   • For example: This sentence, “The tuna industry is an utter abomination. Anyone who eats tuna contributes to its pernicious effects on the ecosystem, ”is inadequate. It is better to back up your claim by saying something like: “The tuna industry as it is today is absolutely unsustainable. If we don't stop, we won't be able to get a can of tuna in ten years' time. Man destroys the cycle of life. ”
5. Know when to let go. Besides not just having to go into battle, you also need to be able to know when the battle is over. When you've had your say, let your words and ideas speak for themselves. There is no point in smearing butter on the gallows!
   • Try to pick up the clues from the other parties as well. If someone starts to feel offended, get annoyed, or show some other negative emotion, you better stop. You can bring up the point later if necessary.
6. Practice and repeat. Every trait has been learned. Once you start being bold on a regular basis, that response will become automatic. Hearing yourself speak won't upset you. Seeing how others react to your opinion will no longer be scary. It's just a natural part of human socialization.
   • In the beginning, try to voice your opinion once a day. Gradually work your way up to each time you have something relevant and appropriate to say but don't. If someone asks you why you've changed so much, just be honest about it! You're just trying to be bold - nothing more, nothing less.

Part 3 of 3: Be effective

1. Be bold at home and in the workplace. It is of course easy to let your family know how you actually do for real thinks about the world around you. It's a lot harder to walk into a meeting, raise your hand and put your head on the chopping block. But it is these very difficult things that matter the most. It could just bring you that promotion you've been hoping for for so long!
   • The more you do something, the easier it gets - no matter what it is. So start right away tomorrow. If something comes to your mind that you would like to say, say it. That is it only one that you have to do. Do it once a day until it no longer feels so scary to be an outspoken part of a team. From there you can view it further.
2. Don't focus on persuasion. Intellectual, open-minded debates can be stimulating and great fun. Talking to someone who is trying to push their opinions down your throat and not giving up before you agree with them is not, don't be the one who doesn't stop until everyone in the room agrees with them . That is not the intention.
3. Know that your opinion is not the only one. Some people have trouble keeping their opinions to themselves and the other party not to try to convince. This is often because they firmly and steadfastly believe that they are 100% right. That other person is just acting ridiculous - how could he / she not see it ?! That's because that other person exactly the same believes.
   • Chances are, because you landed on this page, you are not the type to think that way. However, you will likely encounter these types of people if you oppose their opinion. Let them know that their one-sided vision is not conducive to a fun intellectual debate. It makes no sense to argue with people like this - don't do it!
4. Don't put others down. If you start giving your opinion, you're bound to run into people who tend to give theirs too. You will always find people who express their opinion and then you think, “Did he / she really say that? I must have misunderstood. ” If this occurs, don't let your rationale be tainted by making comments like, "You're out of your mind," or "That's so damn bad." Don't lower yourself to their level, because that will do you more harm than good. It will only make you look mean.
   • Do your utmost to keep your boldness free from judging others. If you don't feel like going to a certain movie with your friends, just say so. But if someone is struggling with losing weight, for example, then you better be a bit more diplomatic.
5. Listen to other people. Follow Nelson Mandela's model. Nelson Mandela once said, “I always tried to listen to what each person in a discussion had to say before venturing into an opinion. Often my opinion simply represents a consensus of what I've heard in the discussion. ”
   • Listening first is incredibly important - maybe your point has already been made, or maybe someone has one better argument! The only way you can make sure that your boldness really does its job is to listen before you open your mouth. That will also save you a lot of grief later!

Tips

• Don't say racist, sexist, or otherwise offensive things.
• Make sure your goals are always noble.
• Do not be afraid. Your opinions are valuable.
• If you need to tell someone specific that you think he / she has done something wrong, say so privately.
• Use as few words as possible. Concise messages are more dramatic and effective.

Warnings

• You might make some new enemies, usually there aren't many if you are a good and honest person. That way you will also earn a lot more respect.
• Some of your friends may only like very shy and cautious people. A good friend should understand that you haven't really changed, but sometimes you may need to make some adjustments about who you're hanging out with.
• When trying to make a point, try to avoid foul language. It can cause the other party to reject your good arguments, and it can sabotage the effectiveness of your points.
• Be careful when you argue with people of authority, such as your boss, your teachers, etc.