Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 4: Being sympathetic in everyday conversations
• Part 2 of 4: Mastering sympathetic body language
• Part 3 of 4: Sympathetic thinking
• Part 4 of 4: Developing sympathetic habits
• Tips
• Warnings

While everyone is entitled to their own personality and self-expression, there are some basic steps everyone can take to strengthen ties with those around them. Making a better impression on those around you and building a better reputation can do you a lot of good. This will help you network better, you will be able to progress up the career ladder and you will be able to socialize better.

To step

Part 1 of 4: Being sympathetic in everyday conversations

1. Be respectful and polite to everyone you meet. This means against your friends, complete strangers, and above all against yourself! If you are too quick with your judgment, or adopt a disdainful attitude, people will harbor those negative feelings towards you as well. Make other people feel welcome and appreciated. This will make you more successful if you want to make friends.
   • Be kind and calm with strangers, patiently request favors, respond promptly to others, and never forget to say thank you and please.
   • Remember that everyone you hang out with is also human. Just because you pay someone to serve you doesn't entitle you to be rude. Treat everyone as you would like to be treated.
     • Like J.K. Rowling said, "It's easier to tell what a person is like by looking at how he treats his underlings, not how he treats his peers."
2. Be self-assured. People like to hang out with people who are sure of themselves without being arrogant. Have confidence in who you are, without stepping on the toes of others every time. Healthy self-confidence means knowing that you are pretty awesome, but also realizing that there is always someone better than you.
   • If you constantly criticize yourself, and you seem unhappy with yourself, you run the risk that others will feel the same way about you. Because if you're not even happy with yourself, why should anyone else be?
   • The other side of the coin is just as bad - if you're too cocky, people will think you like yourself enough already, so no one else has to do it anymore. Aim for contentment, not excessive pride.
3. Be honest, but be careful. It's especially important to be honest with your friends and people who ask you for advice. Usually people notice when someone is lying or fake; insincere people are generally not liked very much. The people you want to surround yourself with shouldn't tolerate liars.
   • If someone asks you, "Do I seem fat in this?" (yes, it's a cliché, but it's a classic example), then be careful, and dress up your comment in a way that won't be hurtful. If you know fashion, explain WHY. You will no doubt be trusted to know that you are honest. They will appreciate your helping them.
   • It's harder to be straightforward with someone who hasn't asked for your advice. Such comments can either be appreciated or perceived as offensive. This depends on the person's character, so assess the situation at your own risk. Avoid trying to initiate negative comments, no matter how true they are - especially with people you don't know very well or who aren't friends of yours.
4. Listen. There isn't one person in the world who thinks he's getting too much attention (not one person who isn't chased by paparazzi all day long, anyway). When we have conversations with people, we are usually looking for a conversation partner who is genuinely interested in what we have to say - the input from the other comes second. Don't think you're boring! You make the other feel good about themselves.
   • However, it is important to listen actively. If someone rattles on and on about the most effective way to bathe their dog, then looking a little sheepish - though tempting - isn't the same as listening carefully. Try to involve yourself fully in the conversation - your eyes, nodding your head, making comments, asking questions, and the posture of your body - they should all be focused on your conversation partner.
5. Ask questions. An important part of being a good conversation partner is asking questions. A social champion makes someone leave a conversation and feel good. The other person will not even realize that he has not learned about the social champion because he was so busy talking himself. Try to be that champion. Ask about the who, why and how. The other person will feel appreciated and loved, and you will take the pressure off yourself. And they will also start to like you!
   • Keep everything open. When Anna says in the office, "Pff, I've been working on this PowerPoint for hours!", Jump on it! Ask her what it was for, why it took longer than usual, or how she conducted the study. Even a trivial topic like a PowerPoint can start a good conversation in which Anna feels as if she has been given attention.
6. Use their name. One of the key points of Dale Carnegie's hugely successful "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is the use of someone's name. Hearing our own name activates an area in our brain that remains inactive with other sounds and we love that. Our name is our identity, and conversing with someone using that name makes us feel that our identity is being recognized. So the next time you speak that one acquaintance, make sure you use her name. Chances are, she'll feel a connection she's never felt before.
   • This is quite easy to do. The most obvious way is to add it to your greeting. "Hey Rob, are you okay?" is a lot more personal than "Hey, are you okay?" And if you're close enough to Rob, it's like "Hey, Rockin 'Robbie D! Are you okay, man?" of course also good. In addition to the greeting, there are many other times when you can insert the name of your conversation partner. If you strike up a conversation - "How do you like this desktop wallpaper, Rob?" - or just as a comment, "Rob, you're acting crazy again." Rob will feel like your best friend.
7. Know your audience. Chances are you know people from a few different social groups. Getting the popular high school kids to like you is very different from having your mechanical engineering classmates invite you on Friday night. So know who you are dealing with. What do they like? What are their norms and values? What interests them?
   • If you really genuinely want to be liked (being liked and being popular isn't really the same thing, you're in luck - generally people all like the same traits. And no, wealth and attractiveness aren't very high on that list. Honesty, warmth and kindness are, according to recent research, the most valued qualities (when it comes to relationships), with candor, intelligence, and a sense of humor following close behind.
8. Recognize reciprocity. You can ask any questions you want, be super polite, and say all the right things, and yet not all people will fall for it. If Johnny seems to get a call every time you step up to him, get the hint. Look elsewhere. This will happen - you can't please everyone. While it is very important to make an attempt, you should only make it if you have a chance of success.
   • A relationship is all about give and take. If you are always the only one making the effort, texting, and doing your best to be friendly and fun, take a good look at the situation. If there is an explanation (someone is going through a difficult time, someone works 60 hours a week, etc.) then you may have to do the lion's share of the work. But if they do respond to other people and don't seem to have time for you, keep looking. You can't make friends with everyone.
9. Make them laugh. Anyone can appreciate someone who relieves tension and makes people laugh. You can go a long way with a good sense of humor. When people know you can be a little playful and want to have a good time, people will want to participate.It's also a great way to be approachable, because people know what to say (after all, they want to be liked as much as you do) - and that they can joke with you! Win, win, win.
   • When people laugh at you every now and then - great! If you can do that too, then nothing will get in your way. This shows that you don't take yourself too seriously and that you are relaxed - which are two very good qualities. In fact, research has shown that embarrassing yourself makes people like you and makes them more likely to trust you - showing that you're human too. Sounds logical, doesn't it?

Part 2 of 4: Mastering sympathetic body language

1. Remember to smile! By simply smiling, you make everyone feel a little better. Even if you are not feeling particularly happy or if you are a little cranky, volunteering your laughing muscles can induce feelings of happiness and carelessness.
   • Think about happy thoughts or memories to spark a genuine smile. And if that doesn't work, then people won't at least start wondering why on earth you're smiling!
   • Frowning takes more effort than smiling - and for good reason! Everyone should smile more than frown.
2. Open up. The fact is that everyone likes to be liked. Everyone. That's simple logic - the more people like you, the easier life is. Since everyone is fighting the same battle as you, you can help them a little. Be approachable (if you're not approaching yourself - and maybe you should). Smile, don't cross your arms, and put your phone away. The world is at your feet. Who knows what will come your way if you allow it?
   • Think about the people you want to befriend. Chances are, "gruff" isn't the adjective that suits those people. If you want to do your best to make friends, make sure you have an inviting aura. Relax your body, get involved in the environment, and notice people. That's half the battle.
3. Make eye contact. Have you ever talked to someone who looked at anything and everything except you? That feels like shit. As soon as you notice that, you are tempted to just stop talking, if only to see if your conversation partner stops talking. Don't be that guy. It's okay to stray a bit when someone tells you something (it's not a staring contest), but if you really care about the topic of conversation, give your conversation partner your undivided attention. You would want that too!
   • Some people have trouble making eye contact - and just can't. If this applies to you too, try to trick yourself by looking at the eyebrows or the bridge of the nose. People usually get a little upset when you don't look at them, so trick them and yourself by looking "roughly" in their eyes.
4. Mirror them. A well-known way to strengthen the bond between two parties subconsciously is through mirroring or mimicry - where the interlocutors stand in the same way, have the same facial expression, the same overall body posture, and distribute their weight in the same way. Consider playing with this when talking to someone — an alleged "equality" will go a long way. However, it should be unconscious, so don't overdo it - you don't want to be completely engrossed in it.
   • This usually works well when working with peers — not when working with your superiors. Recent research has shown that mirroring can be counterproductive if the two interlocutors are not in a suitable scenario (if they are talking about money, work issues, etc., for example). So stick with that group of boyfriend you want to get closer to, not your boss.
5. Show respect. Chances are that at some point you have been instructed to walk with your shoulders back, with your head held high, and that you need a firm handshake. While these things can have a place (like a job interview), they are not a good idea to apply when you want to make friends or get to know people. Your body should be relaxed, not stiff. Show that you are not challenging the other.
   • For example, think about greeting someone. In that video where Bill Clinton and Nelson Mandela meet (two people who might rightfully think they are quite a big deal), they both show reverence - one step forward, leaned slightly, and use the free arm to touch the other. to touch, and smile. They show that they respect and like each other - and that goes a long way towards being liked yourself.
6. Use the power of touch. People need other people to survive and, of course, to be happy. Babies don't do very well if they aren't touched enough. And that is the same with adults! If you want a stronger bond with someone, find little ways to touch them. Provided it is appropriate, of course! A light touch on the arm or shoulder, or even a high five. These small gestures can develop into connections.
   • For example, someone walks up to you and says "Hey, are you okay?" Or someone walks up to you and says "[Your name]! Are you okay?" and he touches your arm lightly. Which greeting felt warmer inside? Probably the second, isn't it? So use it. It will cost you nothing.

Part 3 of 4: Sympathetic thinking

1. Like people. To be fair, the easiest way to be liked is to like other people. That's not rocket science, is it? You've probably met someone who didn't give a damn whether you were there or not. And you've probably experienced the opposite - people who made you feel appreciated and really glad you were there. What do you like more?
   • You can't expect people to like you if you don't. Chances are, you do like the people you want them to like you (otherwise why should you care?). So make it known! Smile when they enter the room. Start a conversation. Make a comment about what they told you last Wednesday so you can show that you listened. The little things will tell them that you are sincere.
2. Be positive. Everyone wants to deal with the sunshine in the house. And the opposite is also true - nobody wants to be stuck with Depri Debby. To make people like you, you have to be positive. That means you have to smile, be enthusiastic, be happy, and see life on the bright side. You probably know someone like that. Try to imitate them.
   • This is definitely a day and night job. It is difficult to be positive to others when you are negative on your own. You have to teach your brain certain habits - positivity is one of them. Always try to think positively, even when you are alone; that way you will really teach yourself.
   • Know when shared sorrow is in place. Complaining in groups can create a certain bond. Talking to your co-workers about how awful the new boss is can breed a friendship - but if that's all you do, then you're going to be associated with negativity. Complain in moderation, and do it only to tread on common ground - not to strike up a conversation.
3. Think about your unique assets and look for ways to display them. What talents or qualities do friends in you admire? Show them! People are naturally attracted to people with passions and skills. It makes us useful, valuable and interesting. Whatever it is, be proud of it.
   • If you can sing well, jump on stage when there's a karaoke night in the pub. Can you bake well? Then take a homemade cake to work. Do you paint? Invite a group of people to show your work, or hang some of your artwork in the common area. Show people your personality so they can get to know you a little better.
4. Above all, remember to be yourself. It's impossible to get everyone to like you. Divergent personalities will collide at some point. However, you will reap the admiration of people who are compatible with you and the people who matter.
   • People like others who are genuine and authentic. So don't adjust yourself so much that you no longer feel comfortable with your actions. Fake is never attractive. Stand behind everything you say and do. If you really want to like you, then you have good intentions, and that's fine.
5. Know that others are only momentarily impressed by the superficial. They genuinely like the authentic. So while that Coach purse or your abs might get you one or two admirers, they won't be meaningful admirers - nor will they last. It's tempting to think that attractiveness will make people like you - and it will, but so far. All talk. If people find out you're a lying jerk, they'll drop you like a brick - no matter how handsome you are.
   • In a recent study, people were asked what traits they thought others sought out in friendships and relationships. Money, looks and status were quite high on that list. But when she was asked where she values, they responded with qualities such as honesty, kindness, and warmth. Society tells us (falsely) that money and looks are more important than anything - deep down we know that's not true. If you want people to see you for real like, don't worry about the cover. Worry about the inside of your book.
     • That said, it is important to be hygienic. People probably won't like you that much if you smell like landfill. And even if you have the personality of Mother Teresa, they will look at you with the neck. So get in the shower, brush your teeth, look in the mirror for a moment before looking away and step out the door with a smile.
6. Recognize that you will feel vulnerable. Wanting to be liked puts you under the control of the rest of the world. This can make you feel a little uncomfortable. The measures you take can be scary. And that is good. It is a challenge. It promotes personal growth. As long as you can keep feeling yourself you will work on your character and improve your character. It can be scary, but it's worth it.
   • There is a difference between wanting to be liked and having to be liked in order to be happy. Your self-image should not be based on the approval of others; if you do, you will be hurt in no time. But if you're happy with yourself, and just want to be well liked, that's decent. People will see that and respond to it. The fear factor will disappear in no time.
7. Control your insecurities. Most people turn to people who cannot switch off their insecurities. Saying things like "It's fine ... I don't deserve more." or continuing to comment on how ugly or fat you are will make it clear that you don't love yourself. That personal negativity doesn't do anyone any good. So leave it at home. It's not good for you, nor is it good for your friendships.
   • Insecurities are the feelings we experience and the behaviors we display when we are uncomfortable with ourselves. If you don't feel comfortable with yourself, that's a downer for everyone in the room. And many people will not want to deal with that. Don't worry about appearing humble or arrogant. Just say it like it. You are worth it. We all are.
8. Know that you can control your thoughts. Negativity can be learned and unlearned. Nobody says, "Gosh, my baby is like this negative"If positivity is a thing for you, then luckily you are the only one who can change that! Your brain is plastic, and you can train it. You just have to do it.
   • The easiest way to start is to quit. Nip the negativity in the bud. If you feel bad thoughts about yourself, don't kill those thoughts. Replace them with something more realistic and positive. You will feel better right away. Turn "I'm so fat" into "I'd like to lose some weight. How can I do that?"
9. Don't worry about the biased ideas of others. We've already talked about self-confidence, which is a very, very good quality. Don't worry about how you present yourself embroider on that. When you start presenting yourself, people will notice. Just think of that one guy who is always showing off. He's trying to show everyone he's macho, and that's not exactly attractive. It's improper and, frankly, downright pathetic: he doesn't think he is naturally good enough. Don't try to be that guy.
   • Whether you're a hipster, nerd, or Popie Jopie, it doesn't matter. If people think your preference for glittery nail polish means you're an idiot, then let them. If they think your veganism is making you a naive leftist, then go ahead. Funny. People will judge you - never mind. They can think what they want. It shouldn't affect you.

Part 4 of 4: Developing sympathetic habits

1. Be warm and friendly. Do you know why shy people have such a bad reputation? Because people misunderstand their shyness as cold and indifferent. Those are two qualities that intimidate people and turn people off. So try to be the opposite! Be warm and friendly. That is greatly appreciated in every society. It shows that you take the interests of others into account, and that you want nothing but the best for them. Who wouldn't want that?
   • Do good deeds arbitrarily. Do things for others, even for people you don't know. Hold the door open when you enter a building, pick something up if someone drops something, and offer to take a group photo of a group trying in vain for themselves. This selflessness inspires others to do the same - not just for you, but for the other people in their lives as well.
2. Be outgoing… to an extent. In general, people appreciate a certain level of extraversion. That goes without saying: we all want to have conversations and be social. Extroverts lower the risk of discomfort. If you sit quietly at the table and don't contribute anything, you might as well have been somewhere else. Contribute! Let your voice be heard. How else can people find out that you are valuable?
   • However, if you know you'll never put a cork in it, so to speak, try to contain it a bit. While anyone can enjoy a good conversation partner, no one is looking for people to hijack conversations. If the last five talking points came from you, keep quiet for a moment. Maybe the other is not the type to jump in quickly, maybe they should be invited to do so. Ask them for their opinion so they can share spotlight with you.
3. Don't be a heel-lover. People like nice people, not people who do anything to be liked. If you compliment people all the time, and keep following like you're a puppy, you're not going to get what you want. You will come across as a nasty mosquito that needs to be beaten to death. Avoid becoming the sticky needy type.
   • If you stay alert you will see the clues. If someone never calls you back, just talks to you out of politeness, and isn't trying very hard - and you're always on their lip, then you're probably a heel-lover. While your intentions may be good, being desperate isn't attractive. Stand back and see if they change their mind.
4. Ask for favors. It turns out clues from us own behavior often determine how we think. If you do something nice for someone, you will like them more. If you hurt someone, you will like them less. This has everything to do with cognitive dissonance. So ask for a favor — if someone else grants you it, they may start to like you more.
   • The idea behind this is that we unconsciously look at our behavior and ask ourselves why we did it. Why did we loan that knowledge our favorite coffee mug? Well, that must be because we like him? Determining that we like someone is exactly the same as really liking someone.
5. Keep your promises. Make sure you do what you say. They are called "promises" because we have promised to put the time and effort into putting action by word. So don't let it fail at the last moment. If you really can't keep your promise, let everyone know as soon as possible. It can still be annoying for the other parties, but at least they can adapt to it.
   • Whether it's who's cooking or a deadline, it's important to let your friends and colleagues know about your progress. This could be a quick email to let you know you're on schedule, or a message apologizing for any unexpected delay. People appreciate good communication. Not knowing what to do next is extremely frustrating, even if the project ends up being completed on time and in perfect condition.
6. Stand up for the things you believe in, but don't preach them. You need character to be liked. Everyone agrees on that. Part of that is that you have views, opinions and standards. Out of them! They are part of who you are. They make conversations more lively. If everyone had the same ideas, life would be incredibly boring. Do your part. Maybe something interesting will blossom.
   • Standing up for your opinion is one thing; preaching them is quite another. If you disagree with someone, great! Explore it. Talk about it. Have an intellectual discussion about your expounding beliefs. You will both learn something from it.Instead of excluding them completely, telling them they are wrong, and preaching your own ideas, open your mind. Try looking at them from their point of view. Perhaps you will also gain new insights yourself.
7. Know that keeping people happy is more important than anything else. Humans are sensitive beings. If someone starts spouting that the Easter Bunny is the prodigal son of Jesus, and you for real if he wants him to like you, don't make a fuss. Let them do their thing. The same is true for people who say things like, "My very best quality is that I am so very sober. I'm just saying, all my actions are humble and unselfish." Don't take that as an opportunity to point out their raging arrogance and lack of self-awareness.
   • Again, only do this if you want to be liked by those people. As long as someone keeps rattling on about how great they think they are, it doesn't matter at all to speak up. But if you are just getting to know that person / group, it is sometimes wise to just blow with the wind.
8. Give compliments. Everyone is looking for confirmation. We just want to hear that we are clever, smart, funny or whatever. We just can't get enough of that. So when someone comes up to us and gives us a compliment, we love it. Think about this: some people never get a compliment in their entire life. Change that. It won't take up more than two seconds of your time.
   • Be sincere. Don't just walk up to someone to tell him you like his army pants. Make sure it means something. Make it personal. It could be something as simple as, "That's a great idea." Often the smallest compliments are more thoughtful (and more credible). "You're hilarious" after a joke, or "that article you wrote was really inspiring; it really got me thinking." Whatever you say, make sure you mean it.
9. Do your best. Most people are not social butterflies. We all love attention, but sometimes we just don't know how to get it. We all feel vulnerable in social situations, and we all want to contain that. Acknowledging that everyone is in this together will make you realize that trying your best isn't crazy at all - it's just brave. Everyone wants to do it, but we might be a bit too smug. If there's someone you want to befriend, strike up a conversation with them. Maybe he was waiting for that.
   • It's impossible to be liked if you're not playing a role at all. We often have the feeling that we are not liked, when people actually do not even have an opinion about us. That's because we don't speak up. The next time you hang out with a group you would like to befriend, try to show your personality. Do your best to fulfill a role within the group. Make a joke, smile, initiate a conversation. This can be your springboard.

Tips

• A very simple tip that will make someone like you: ask someone for their help. Try to ask for something that the other person can use their skills or talents with. This shows not only that you are paying attention to him, but also that you respect his authority in that area.
• Be sincere. For example, give meaningful compliments. This will make people feel appreciated, and they will see you - after all, you have seen them too.
• Nice people are people who like people. People will notice if you like them. If you really want someone to like you, focus on something you like about them. If you can't, it probably isn't that important to make him like you.
• Be open. If you look angry or sad, people are not likely to want to talk to you. Even when you are angry or sad, think of all the reasons why you should be happy in public situations. Try to save the heavy emotions for more personal moments with close friends or family.
• Don't brag. Show-offs are terribly unattractive. You won't put yourself in a better light; it will only seem like you are fishing for compliments. That's not endearing. Far from.
• Focus more on their interests than your own. Ask about their education, job, talents, etc. Only try to bring up your own if there is a demand for it. People like people like that more and more interesting than others.
• Dress well. Don't hide behind your hair or clothes. Wear clothes that fit you well, and try adding some color to your wardrobe. Paying attention to how you look on the outside will make you feel better on the inside.

Warnings

• Don't be fake. People will notice when you perform a role. You have to stand behind what you do and believe in it. If you don't, it will negatively affect how you come across. However, the first impression is very important, and you may feel like you have to "fake" it to be liked. That is not the case. A good rule of thumb: treat others as you would like to be treated.
• Don't try to be a bullshit. People desperate to climb the social ladder are not attractive. People will realize that right away, and turn you off immensely.
• Even if you find yourself needing to change things about yourself, you should be proud of who you are. Your core personality is great, and you shouldn't be ashamed to show it - even if there's room for improvement.
• Don't explicitly try to convince others to like you. Listing your positive qualities can come across as arrogant. Let others find out for themselves that you are great.
• Remember, it is neither possible nor desirable to get everyone to like you. There will always be people who will disappoint you, and vice versa. Know when to let go and how to mature and respectfully resolve conflict. Don't be too hard on yourself and keep your self-confidence.