Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: About yourself and your excuses
• Method 2 of 3: Set goals
• Method 3 of 3: Overcoming obstacles

To be successful in your life, work and relationships, you need to know how to stop making excuses. Psychological theories can help us understand why we make excuses and therefore how to stop doing so and learn to take responsibility for our actions.

To step

Method 1 of 3: About yourself and your excuses

1. Understand the locus of control or control orientation. The first step to being able to stop making excuses has to do with how much you view life as something you have control over. Excuses are often made up to blame circumstances beyond our control. If you hear yourself claim that you cannot lose weight because your partner bakes too often, then you blame someone else while you have to take responsibility yourself.
   • Inner locus of control is the degree to which you take responsibility for your actions and believe that you are in control of your life. Having an inner locus of control makes you more focused on future successes.
   • External locus of control protects your self-image by blaming fate or others and fleeing ownership of your own mistakes or failures.
2. Understand self-efficacy. Your belief in your own capacity to successfully complete a task strongly influences the actual fulfillment of that task, be it for a work, fitness, or personal goal. Self-efficacy is based on past experiences with a particular task, seeing how others have experienced the same task, how people have treated you in connection with performing the task, and your emotional cues related to the task.
   • Have you been successful in gaining muscle mass by lifting weights in the past, see your friends doing the same, hear people respond positively to your bigger muscles, and are proud to see yourself in the mirror, then more likely to see a further increase in muscle mass, instead of making excuses that you can't do this.
3. Increase your sense of self-efficacy. There are many things you can do to start building confidence in yourself. Small changes allow you to quickly achieve goals and start increasing your self-efficacy.
   • Try to start with small changes. Instead of changing your entire diet, start drinking more water for a week, then continue cutting back on sweets for the following week.
   • Think about past successes. Remembering how you achieved goals in the past will provide you with the support you need to achieve the next goal.
   • Visualize your success. Picture yourself in that smaller dress.
   • Choose a role model. If you're trying to get fit, find a friend who has recently made such an adjustment herself, and turn to them for inspiration and advice.
   • Accept self-doubt. Don't expect to be perfect because there will be setbacks and interruptions in your journey - expecting yourself to be perfect will only lead to disappointment. Expect to start doubting yourself and it will be easier for you to adjust and move on.
4. Investigate your own excuses. Make a list of excuses you make up, ask yourself why you're making them up, and decide which one to tackle first to stop.
   • Review the excuses you make about your performance at work. If you find yourself complaining about deadlines, for example, you may have to rethink your workflow.
   • Find out what excuses you make up about getting healthy. One of the most common excuses is that you don't have enough time to train. That's why doctors today suggest getting your exercise in blocks of 10 minutes - that's no more than a brisk walk during a coffee break!
   • Think about the excuses you make up about achieving your life goals. Make a list of what you want to achieve in your life and point by point why you feel you are not achieving these goals, then try to solve the obstacles and related problems. Remember that nothing will change until you change.

Method 2 of 3: Set goals

1. Examine your goals. In order to understand how to better achieve your goals, you will need to take a close look at them, determine whether they are realistic and within your control and ability, identify what you dread and realize what underlying assumptions you would unconsciously can have about these goals.
   • For example, if you state that you want to be more successful in your job, think about what the phrase "more successful" means to you. You may be unreasonably trying to live up to your parents' expectations or compete with a coworker who has worked in that position for years.
2. Define your goals the SMART way. Make sure your goals are Specific, Measurable, Acceptable, Relevant and Time-bound. Once you have set the SMART goals, you will also be able to achieve them sooner.
   • Specific goals have a particularly focused goal. Don't just say you want to perform better at work, say you want 5 new customers this month. Thinking about who, what, where, when, and why helps to make sure your goal is specific.
   • Measurable goals make it easier to see your progress. Instead of saying that you want to lose weight, indicate that you want to lose 1.5 kilos this month.
   • Achievable goals ensure that you don't succumb to unrealistic expectations. You might want to make more money, but a goal like making an extra $ 1,000 more in revenue might be more attainable than $ 10,000.
   • Relevant goals keep you from wasting your time on something that might not help you. If you want to be a more flexible dancer, you better take up gymnastics than join a chess club.
   • Time-bound goals give you a target date. Some people need the pressure of a deadline. Suppose you want to have 10,000 words written for your new book - by the end of the month.
3. Begin taking responsibility by shifting your attention to an inner locus of control or mastery orientation. Once you have stated that you yourself are responsible for making your workplace more efficient, you can make a more effective contribution. Managers and employees who are more confident, take action, take steps and influence others are more respected and feel more successful in their jobs.
   • Taking responsibility also means taking responsibility for mistakes without making excuses. Everyone makes mistakes, but being honest about them and taking responsibility for them makes learning from mistakes easier, as well as getting behind them.
   • Remind yourself that you have the power to change your situation and environment. You can change it if you choose to change it.
4. Check yourself. Checking or monitoring yourself is the ability to assess yourself so that you can deal with a certain situation more easily. Being able to monitor your skills, style and goals in a given situation gives you the opportunity to adapt better, and successful adaptation leads to success in achieving your goals.
   • For example, if you can monitor yourself and adjust your communication style at work depending on the person you are talking to, you can develop better relationships with your colleagues and be a better leader when you take on various roles while working with different people. employees.

Method 3 of 3: Overcoming obstacles

1. Develop problem solving skills. Write down what is bothering you, brainstorm the different ways you can approach the problem, assess the pros and cons of each approach, implement an approach, and evaluate the outcome.
   • Writing down your problems, then brainstorming a solution (no matter how far-fetched those solutions are) is a proven way to take steps to solve those problems.
2. Be inventive. Inventiveness is one of the key factors to overcoming any challenge.
   • Being inventive involves asking for help, so don't be afraid to turn to family, friends or colleagues if you need help.
3. Self-assessment. Whether it's the number of sales you've managed to close at work or how often you prepare food at home instead of picking up food, tracking and evaluating your activity is the best way to monitor your progress. to be able to keep track of what works, and fix what doesn't work. Once you can follow and realize your goals, you can also evaluate yourself.
   • Be your own critic. Be objective and realistic when you judge yourself, and remember, "If you want to get something done, you have to do it yourself."
4. Adjust your language use. If you have self-doubts, and you use words like, "I can't" or "If ... then," then you accept an external locus of control and you may find yourself stuck in your current situation. Rather, say the following to yourself: "I think I can."
   • Repeat your positive mantras, such as, "I can do this" or "I'm getting better at this."
   • Examine your “if, then” statements and rephrase them positively. For example, "if I only had more time" you can change to "I can set aside 10 minutes a day for yoga." Believing in yourself is half the battle.