Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Limiting contact
• Part 2 of 3: Controlling your emotions
• Part 3 of 3: Keeping yourself busy

Getting over someone who used you for sex is difficult. It's hard to accept that the feelings you had for someone weren't necessarily mutual. Start limiting contact if you want to get over a guy. Stop calling, texting and emailing. Control your emotions. Allow yourself to be sad, but remember, it's not your fault if someone didn't want the same type of relationship that you do. You probably just wanted different things. After all, keep yourself busy. New hobbies and goals can prevent you from getting back into a negative situation.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Limiting contact

1. Do not contact him anymore. If someone is clearly only using you for sex, you shouldn't keep contacting them. If a deeper relationship had developed, it would already have happened. As soon as you realize that you can't get what you want out of a situation, stop approaching the person in question.
   • Do not meet, text, or call the person at social events. If you feel tempted to contact him, do something for yourself or with another friend. You can arrange with another friend that when you are tempted to contact them, you contact your friend instead.
   • In some cases it is not possible to completely disconnect from someone. For example, if you work or go to school with the boy, you may need to see him. In that case, keep interactions short and to the point. Don't bother with cows and calves.
2. Ignore nightly text messages and phone calls. When a guy uses you for sex. he can text or call late at night. For example, you can receive a text message at 1 am asking if you are still awake. This is a sign that the boy wants to stop by for sex. Do not answer these text messages. It will only make the situation last longer, making it hurt you more. Just start ignoring this behavior.
   • If the boy keeps sending texts like this after ignoring him for a while, text him something like, "I don't want this kind of relationship anymore." Please stop texting. "
   • When someone is used to getting a reward for a certain behavior and it suddenly stops working, they will often try harder for a while before giving up. Stay strong. The other will eventually move on.
3. Close the contact via social media. Social media contact can be difficult to break. Often times, we stick with past lovers through platforms such as Facebook and Twitter. However, research indicates that following someone online will only lengthen your anxiety. Block or delete him on social media profiles, or at least unfollow him.
   • Sometimes it is very tempting to check out an ex's social media. However, this will not make you feel better, so do your best not to. Whenever you're tempted to click on his profile, remind yourself that you'll only feel worse and take some steps back in the process of getting over him.
   • You will probably go wrong a few times and check your ex's profile. Don't be too upset with yourself if this happens. Don't forget that no one is perfect.
   • Consider taking a break from social media until you feel stronger. This can help you focus on other activities and take care of yourself.
   • Another option is to simply delete these apps from your phone, leaving only the less convenient option to use your computer.

Part 2 of 3: Controlling your emotions

1. Allow yourself to experience your feelings. Nobody likes to feel bad after being rejected; however, it is impossible to get over pain without experiencing some negativity. Allow yourself to feel your feelings in the wake of disconnecting from the boy, instead of denying them or trying to bury them.
   • Remember that sometimes being sad is a normal part of life. People may tell you to cheer up or get over it long before you're done.
   • It's okay to be sad for a while. Try to turn off the television and minimize other distractions. Take a few minutes every day to just experience your feelings, good and bad. This allows you to heal. Try keeping a journal or talking to a close friend to help you process these emotions. It is important to express your feelings - this will help you heal.
2. Be realistic about what the relationship was. You can't get over a guy unless you accept what your relationship was. If you still get the idea that he might be interested in more than sex, it will only take you longer to get over him. Admit he used you, even if it's painful. This is not someone you will ever be able to relate to.
   • After a rejection, people often have unrealistic thoughts about the importance of a relationship. You may think that everything would be easier if he hadn't rejected you. Remind yourself that there is no such thing as perfect.
   • What would have happened if you had gotten together in a more romantic way? There would still have been struggles and arguments that would probably have caused the two of you to split up after all. The fact is that the boy was interested in nothing more than sex and, even if he was, he probably wouldn't have been a good partner.
3. Recognize that it is not your fault. After a rejection, it is easy to think about what you did "wrong". You may think things like, "Why doesn't he want to be with me? What's wrong with me? "Try to ignore these thoughts. The fact is, there are many reasons why someone doesn't feel romantic to another. It probably has little to do with you.
   • There are many reasons that a guy may not have taken a romantic interest in you. Most of them are not personal. Maybe he liked you and was attracted to you, but felt like you were at different stages in life. Maybe he wasn't ready for a romantic relationship. Maybe he just prefers a different type of woman for romances than casual encounters.
   • Whatever the reason, it probably has nothing to do with you as a person. You may have rejected people before and it probably wasn't because there was something wrong with them. They just weren't your type.
   • It may be helpful to think of this as one experience in life's journey - not an absolute. It's easier to deal with regrets when you feel they serve a purpose.
4. Focus on its bad qualities. Sometimes it can be helpful to remember the things you didn't like about someone when you're trying to get over a romantic rejection. Even minor imperfections can remind you that the relationship and the boy weren't perfect.
   • Think of everything about him that bothers you. Maybe he talked too much about himself. Maybe he answered your text messages very curtly. Maybe you didn't like the same books or movies.
   • You can also focus on little things. Maybe you hated his haircut or he never cut his toenails.
   • Write these things down and review them regularly. You can even stick them on your mirror or somewhere you will see them often. This will help keep you from idealizing the relationship.
5. Reframe your feelings in neutral terms. Pay attention to your feelings when you start to feel angry or bitter. You don't want to hold a grudge. While it's good to think about things that are bothering you, don't let those feelings turn into bitter, mean thoughts. Such thoughts should be translated into neutral assessments of the situation.
   • For example, you might think something like, "He's such a jerk. I was way too good for him. "Reframe that in neutral terms for a more realistic picture of the situation. For example, "We clearly wanted different things and were in different stages of life."

Part 3 of 3: Keeping yourself busy

1. Write down your feelings. If you want to keep yourself busy, it may be easier to get negative feelings out of your mind. Grab a pen and paper and write down briefly what you feel each day. Once your feelings are gone, you can focus your energy elsewhere.
   • List everything he did to disappoint you. For example, write things like, "He never held my hand in public" and "He didn't want to call me his girlfriend."
   • When you're done, put the list aside and try to focus your energy elsewhere.
2. Give yourself something to do. In the aftermath of a breakup, you may find yourself constantly thinking about what went wrong and why. It can be helpful to have new goals. This will help keep you busy and avoid thinking about him.
   • It is important to find a balance between activity / distraction and rest / reflection. Thinking too much can lead to depression, but running away from it can keep you from healing.
   • Think about something you've always wanted to do. For example, have you always wanted to run? Try to develop an exercise routine that teaches you to run.
   • People often become obsessive about exes. Sometimes the easiest way to beat one obsession is to replace it with another.
3. Keep your thoughts in the here and now. Try to stay in the present instead of dwelling on what happened in the past. At all times, keep in mind what you are feeling and experiencing right now.
   • Try to enjoy the little things of the day, even something as simple as eating a great lunch.
   • If you find yourself thinking about your ex, stop and think something like, "That was then. I'm going to focus on what I'm doing and how I'm feeling right now. "
   • You can use techniques to ground and hold back from thinking about him and bringing you into the present. Look around and name five things you see. Five colors. Five textures. Close your eyes and identify what you hear or smell.
4. Take care of yourself. Self-care is important, especially after someone hurts you. Don't neglect the normal rituals of eating well, exercising, and generally taking care of yourself.
   • Take good care of your personal hygiene. Even if you feel like staying in bed all day, you get up, take a shower, and brush your teeth.
   • Stay on track with your exercise routine. If you feel really down, adjust your routine. For example, go for a walk instead of jogging.
   • Eat good. Junk food can be tempting when you're feeling down, but it's unlikely to make you feel better.