Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 4: Dealing with your crush
• Method 2 of 4: Dealing with your feelings
• Method 3 of 4: Take a step
• Method 4 of 4: Dealing with rejection

Having a crush on someone is both exciting and scary at the same time. If you're having a hard time, let yourself be overwhelmed by all the feelings first. If you don't want the other person to know that you are in love with them, try to be as normal as possible with that person around them. If you want to do something with it, flirt a bit and take the first step. With luck, the person will have a crush on you too! But if not, then retake and remember that plenty of other crushes will follow.

To step

Method 1 of 4: Dealing with your crush

1. Copy the other person's body language if you want to show that you are interested. Mirroring is a popular body language technique where you imitate how the other person stands, moves and talks. It "reflects" that you are in phase with the other. For example, if they lean towards you, lean towards him or her as well. And if they take a sip of their drink, well, take a sip of your own. If you do this subtly, the other person will not even notice.
   • This also works in a conversation, with tone, pitch and words. For example, if they use a sarcastic tone, imitate that. And when they speak softly, you also lower your volume.
   • Mirroring should be natural and understated. Don't copy everything they do. Just try to mimic their general body language. Otherwise, if you move the same way as the other person every time, they may notice that something is wrong.
2. Get around the person normally if you want to keep your crush a secret. No matter how much you panic from within, try to appear calm and collected. That means you talk at a normal pace and volume, don't hold your breath, and have a normal conversation. Just be yourself! For example, if you are usually quite reserved or quiet, don't suddenly start chatting continuously and nervously. However, if you've always talked to him or her often before falling in love, don't suddenly stay silent or tongue-tied near your crush.
   • Don't try to hide your feelings so hard that you end up getting mean or hurting your crush. For example, joking and teasing are okay if it's harmless, but don't say something like "Wow, you look like you've gained weight" when you know the other person is concerned about their weight.
   • If you're struggling to act normal or if that person makes you really nervous, take a few deep breaths to calm your nerves before speaking. Concentrate on the feeling of the air flowing in and out of your nostrils.
   EXPERT TIP

   If you are unable to hide your feelings, give yourself some distance. If you think it is blatantly obvious that you are in love, such as by getting red or tripping over your words, then it is best to spend less time with that person. Otherwise, it may pick up on your romantic feelings, which can make things uncomfortable for you. For example, don't go to the party they're having or take a different route through your school so you don't run into the person outside the cafeteria.

   • If you are in the same class or have some other unavoidable activity together, you can still give yourself space. For example, sit at a different table or ask someone else to be your lab partner.
   • Don't make it clear that you are distancing yourself. For example, if you see the other person approaching you in the auditorium, don't dramatically run away. Instead, you smile back politely and keep doing what you did.
3. Distract yourself by spending time doing things you enjoy doing. The more time you spend at home alone, the more time you obsess about your crush. Instead, you look for fun things to fill your time with and distract you. For example, make plans with several friends so that your weekend is fully booked, or start a new hobby.
   • Not only will focusing on yourself stop you from thinking about the person, it will also make you a more cultured person in general. Win win!
   • If you still find yourself checking your phone while out with your friends or doing some other activity, try setting your phone to "Do Not Disturb" mode so you don't get a message when they text you. You can also unfollow them or make them invisible on social media.

Method 2 of 4: Dealing with your feelings

1. Keep a journal of what you feel when you are not ready to talk about it. Maybe you don't want to tell anyone about your crush, but you don't want to bottle everything up either. Instead, write about your emotions in a journal. For example, write down what you like about your crush, how you feel, what you want to happen, etc.
   • Remember that your diary is for your eyes only, so don't hold back! Let your thoughts flow freely and write whatever comes to mind.
   • You can also type your thoughts in a secure Microsoft Word document on your laptop or in the Notes app on your phone, if you prefer.
   • Write in your journal as often as you want or need to. You can take time every day, or just write when inspiration strikes. For example, you can update your diary after meeting your crush.
2. If you're comfortable with it, tell a close friend about your secret crush. If you just need to talk to someone about how you feel, but you don't want to talk to your crush about it, open up to a friend you trust. Tell the person not to tell anyone else and that what you say should stay between the two of you. Then you can open your heart!
   • For example, start the conversation with something like, "I want to tell you something important, but you have to promise not to tell anyone, not even our other friends, okay? It's really personal. "
   • Choose a private place, such as your bedroom or in the car, to have these conversations. You don't want anyone to overhear the conversation.
   • Don't tell your friends about your crush if you don't trust them or if they have a reputation for not being able to keep things to themselves. Choose wisely who you tell.
   • If you're worried that your friends will accidentally reveal your secret, talk about your crush on your parents or older siblings instead. They can also give you advice on how they handled their own crushes.
3. Enjoy the pleasure of having a crush by fantasizing about it every now and then. Of course, being in love with someone isn't all terrible. It can even be super exciting! Let yourself feel those butterflies in your stomach and dream about the perfect date with your crush. You can also embrace your new romantic side by listening to love songs, watching romantic movies, or reading sweet poetry, just to name a few.
   • To prevent your crush fantasies from consuming your time and life, plan time to think about your crush, no matter how crazy that sounds. For example, set a timer for 20 minutes every night before going to sleep. After those 20 minutes are up, turn your attention to something else.
4. Come up with a list of flaws to put things in perspective. When you have a crush on someone, you tend to think of them as the perfect person, which makes your obsession worse and hurts even more when they then reject you. Brainstorm what's not so great about that person, like how he doesn't like horseback riding and you do, or whether she dated your best friend last year. List it on paper or in your phone, then look at it when you feel like you're getting carried away.
   • The "flaws" can be anything that makes people less than your ideal person, however picky or insignificant those characteristics may seem. For example, it could be that your flame is exactly the same height as you, but you prefer someone taller.

   Tip: Keep your list private and hidden somewhere. If you have the list on paper, lock it up in a journal or hide it in a drawer. If it's on your phone, use a password to protect it.

   
   

Method 3 of 4: Take a step

1. Ask many open questions so that the other person can talk about themselves. It's important to be able to keep the conversation going when you're flirting. In addition, people like to talk about themselves. Let your crush do most of the talking by asking questions about what he or she did over the weekend, who his / her favorite band is, or how he / she likes to spend their own free time. Focus on questions that require more than a "yes" or "no" to keep the conversation flowing.
   • Ask a question like, `` If you could be an animal, what would you like to be? '' Instead of, `` Would you like to be a cat? '' Or ask, `` How do you like the book we read in English? '' instead of "Do you like the book?"
   • Don't force questions into the conversation. Too many questions will feel more like an interview than flirting. Ask them when it feels natural and choose questions that fit the topic of the conversation.
   • For example, if the other person says they like pizza, ask something related to it, such as, "What's your favorite topping?" Instead of continuing with a random question like "What's your favorite music?"
2. Give subtle hints during a conversation if you are too shy to ask the person out. You are certainly not the one to take the first step, and that's okay. Let the other person ask you by providing strategic hints in your next conversation. When you talk about favorite movies and your crush says they want to see them in the cinema too, say something like 'I can't wait to see them' or even 'I really want to see them, but none of my friends like it. ”That gives your crush the perfect opportunity to ask you along.
   • Don't be discouraged if the other person doesn't seem to understand your hints. That's the point with being subtle: it doesn't always work.
   • It also works in two directions. If you notice that the other person is hinting about going out together, realize that it might be a sign that your crush wants you to ask them out.
3. Have a specific date, time, and place in mind before asking someone out. Don't say, "We need to do something together." That is too vague and it probably means it will never happen. Know exactly what you want to do and when, so that the other person can either say yes or no. For example, say, "Would you like to go bowling with me on Saturday night?" Instead of, "Maybe we can go bowling soon."
   • If your crush is not free when you propose, offer another time. But if they seem like they are brushing you off, don't push any further. For example, if you ask to go bowling on a Friday and the answer is that he / she is busy, say "How about the next weekend?" If that person is busy too, say something like, "Okay, let me know when you have time"! "

   Choosing a fun activity for a getaway together

   
   

   If you are both sporty, invite your crush to go for a run after school or say you have tickets to a sporting event.

   When the idea of ​​talking to your crush makes you nervous, then go to a movie together. Then you don't have the pressure to fill in annoying silences.

   If you want to get to know the other, then suggest dinner or coffee so the two of you have a chance to talk alone.

   Do you like a bit of competition?, then do something like bowling, laser tag or mini golf.

4. Keep it casual by inviting the other person to a group outing or party. If you are not ready for a date as a couple, or if you are not completely sure that the other person likes you, ask to go out with you and your friends or to join a group of people on Friday night. for example, going to the football game for an evening lesson. It takes some of the pressure off and gives the person a chance to see you in your natural element, surrounded by your friends.
   • For example, if your girlfriend is having a party, ask, "Sarah is having a pool party on Saturday. Do you want to come?'
   • The only downside to group outings is that you may not get much time with your crush. Make sure you have him or her to yourself for a few minutes during the event, whether it's to get a drink for everyone or to talk a bit away from the group.
   • Keep in mind that inviting someone to a party or group is very subtle. The person may not understand that you are interested in them, so flirt with your crush a little more during the event to make it clear.
5. Ask your crush out with a big gesture if you feel brave. With big risks comes a big reward, even in the world of dating and falling in love. If you're 99% sure that they like you too, or if you're just ready to go all out, brainstorm a unique way to ask them out on a date. Some examples include sending flowers, writing "Would you like to go out with me" in chalk in their driveway, or serenading with a romantic song. It will certainly stand out and prove how much you like the other person.
   • Get inspired by searching online for promposals or searching the #promposal hashtag on Instagram. These are often very exaggerated. Adjust them to your own style and preference.
   • Prepare for the other person to reject you. Asking someone out in public can be humiliating to you.

Method 4 of 4: Dealing with rejection

1. Remind yourself what's important by using the five-year rule. Ask yourself if this will still be important in five years. The answer should be no, if you're wondering if a little crush will make that difference in your life as a whole. Remember that while it may hurt now, it occupies a very small place in the grand scheme of things. Even if you are convinced that you just lost the love of your life, you have to accept that it shouldn't have been. Instead, ask yourself what will be important in five years, and focus on those things, such as your education or career.
   • If you think the answer is that your rejected crush will matter in five years, ask yourself why you feel that way. Is it because you think there is no one else for you? Challenge those thoughts by digging deeper and listing the reasons your thoughts are irrational.
2. Write down positive affirmations and post them where you can see them. It's hard not to feel like your crush didn't like you because you weren't good enough. Remind yourself of how wonderful you really are by writing uplifting statements such as "I believe in myself" or "I am enough" on sticky notes. Stick them in places you will see every day, such as on your bathroom mirror or your closet door.
   • Change your phone background to positive quote image too. When you check the time or receive a text message, you will always see this.
   • Search for positive affirmations through an online search or browse inspirational boards on Pinterest. Make your own Pinterest board full of quotes to refer to when you're feeling down.
3. Surround yourself with the people who love you the way you are. It's healthy to take time for yourself and cry, but don't withdraw. Rely on the support of your friends and family to get you through your pain. Spending time with people who value and appreciate you will not only make you feel better about yourself, it will also distract you from sticking to the rejection.
   • Say "yes" if your friends ask you to join a night out, even if it's the last thing you want to do, or just call your mom to talk if you feel lonely.
   • If you're really struggling, ask your friends and family to make a list of what they love about you and look at it when your confidence needs a boost.
   • Make sure you don't use social interactions and activities to avoid your pain completely. Find a balance between time with others and alone.
4. Seek professional help if after four to six weeks you find that you cannot get rid of it. While it is perfectly normal to feel sad or hurt after being rejected by someone, it is not normal when you feel depressed or when your emotions prevent you from living your daily life. Make an appointment with a therapist or psychiatrist to work on healthy coping techniques and ways to challenge negative thoughts so that you can move on with your life.
   • A psychiatrist can prescribe medication if you have a chemical imbalance, such as depression that can be treated medically.
   • Find a therapist covered by your insurance by contacting your insurance company or requesting a referral from your doctor. They will give you a list of doctors that you can consult where your healthcare costs are not too high.
   • If you feel suicidal, get help immediately. Call 112 or Suicide Prevention 0900-0113.