Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Focus on yourself
• Method 2 of 3: Dealing with new lovers and old flames
• Method 3 of 3: Address your problems with love

Whether you're just getting over a breakup or trying to break negative relationship patterns, there may come a time when you just don't want to fall in love anymore. If this is the correct description for your current state of mind, then you may be struggling to control your feelings. You can do this by focusing on yourself for a while and applying strategies to reduce the chance that you will develop feelings for someone. It can also be helpful to examine your reasons for pushing love away so that you can eventually break old, unhealthy relationship patterns.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Focus on yourself

1. Let others know that you prefer to be single. If you're hoping to discourage any potential suitor from knocking on your door, make it clear in advance what your intentions are. Let friends, family, and your wider social circle know that you are not looking for love.
   • For example, you can add "happy single" to your social media profiles so that everyone understands your intentions. That way, they won't try to hook you up with anyone or encourage others to approach you romantically.
   • If there is someone in particular who likes you very much, you could voice your intentions by reminding them that you want to stay single and that you consider the other person only as a friend.
2. Keep busy pursuing your goals. Avoid falling in love by focusing solely on your career or other ambitions. Create a vision board and omit anything related to relationships. Develop a clear plan for achieving your goals and make it focus number one.
   • Keep in mind that too much focus on your goals can harm your social life, as you may never find time for friends or family again.
3. Ask to be reminded of your resolution. It's impossible to stay away from potential relationship candidates completely. You can just meet someone at work or with friends. If you want to limit intense feelings, call on friends and family to stick to your intentions. Let them know that you are not interested in a love affair and ask them to stick with it.
   • For example, you can ask a colleague to remind you of your goals when they notice that you are laughing very enthusiastically at the jokes of that nice new colleague. Your best friend can help you stay away from that attractive bartender when the two of you are out.
4. Take care of yourself. Self-care is important for the healing of emotional wounds or worries. Make a habit of regular self-care and put your own health and wellness first. Even if you do eventually fall in love, you should maintain these habits.
   • Self-care can include eating healthy, exercising at least 30 minutes a day, sleeping seven to nine hours a night, and taking time out for hobbies and passions.
5. Fall in love with yourself. A great way to reduce your chances of falling in love with someone else is to fall in love with yourself instead. Sometimes people jump into relationships too quickly when they feel like they are unattractive or unwanted. When you give yourself special care and attention, you don't depend on anyone else to do this for you.
   • Remind yourself why you are great by reciting your positive qualities daily. Take yourself out to nice restaurants, movies or concerts. Compliment yourself like a significant other would. Also buy special gifts for yourself.
   • Plus, by being strong and loving yourself, you show others how you expect to be treated. If you end up in a relationship, that person will know how you expect to be treated. Take the time to treat yourself with love, kindness, and respect.

Method 2 of 3: Dealing with new lovers and old flames

1. Take some distance from the other person. The most important factor in managing your feelings for someone is spending less time with that person and more with yourself. Avoid the person as much as you can. If you can't avoid the other completely, make sure you are never alone.
   • For example, if this person invites you for a drink, suggest making it a group activity to limit time alone with that person.
   • Instead, surround yourself with friends and family who are positive, uplifting and make you feel good. They must accept and support your feelings. They must also contribute to your own visions and understand that this is your own personal story to live.
2. Block such persons online. Staying in touch with the person online can still affect your feelings, so distance yourself from that as well. Unfriend them on your social media profiles. If this seems too drastic, download an app that will allow you to fully monitor your social media usage - if you can't log into Facebook, then you won't be able to constantly check their page either.
   • Make sure not to go online when you are most tempted to cyber-stalk. You can support yourself with smartphone apps such as Freedom and SelfControl.
3. Stop flirting. You also want to prevent others from developing feelings for you, if possible. Therefore, it is better to avoid giving them ideas. Seemingly harmless compliments, touch, or eye contact can convey the message that you like someone. So, prevent such interactions from occurring.
   • If you really need to communicate with them, stay polite but indifferent and stick to "hello" and "goodbye".
4. Fixate on their negative qualities. When you fall in love with someone, the image you have of that person is often incorrect. You can only see what makes this person so great. To control your feelings, you need to develop a more sober and more realistic perception of the other person.
   • Nobody is perfect. List why this person isn't either. Consult the list when you are going to place the other person on a pedestal.
   • For example, if you're dealing with an old flame, you can list reasons why you broke up with the other person, such as "He lies compulsively" or "She doesn't really care about spending time with me. '
5. Remind yourself that they are not available. Perhaps your reason for avoiding falling in love with this person is the status of their relationship. If this person is already in a relationship, imagine that partner's face or name when you are fantasizing about your lover. This can help you stay objective.
6. Accept that the heart wants what it wants. Falling in love with someone and responding to those feelings are two very different things. Sometimes you just can't avoid falling for someone no matter what you try. However, if you don't want a relationship or are not ready for love, try to ignore these feelings.
   • Recognize that you like the person and really enjoy their company, but remind yourself that you are not in the market for love.
   • One way to do this is to research the main goals in your life before falling in love again. For example, you may want to get your degree before starting a new relationship, or you may want to see more of the world.

Method 3 of 3: Address your problems with love

1. Consider your problems with love. It's understandable to want to push others away when you're afraid of getting hurt or abandoned. But this can also prevent you from having someone in your life who is really special. Try to get to the heart of what drives your feelings. Keep a journal or talk to a friend about it.
   • For example, you may be afraid of being cheated on because it has happened in the past. Or maybe you are afraid that you will give up your dreams because of your relationship with someone.
2. Think about your dating habits. If you consistently run into problems when it comes to your love life, then it is not surprising that you would rather not fall in love again. However, by thinking about your typical dating and relationship experiences, your happiness in love may turn for the better.
   • Ask yourself questions such as: What do I usually do in situations like this? Are there any common patterns that could affect the outcome?
   • You may realize in your reflection that you regularly get into a relationship before you recover from a breakup. In these rebound dates, you are just looking for someone so that you are not alone but the people you choose are not right for you.
3. Change your dating habits. Change your habits to have better luck with dates. For example, you may always get your dates through clubs or bars. Perhaps you can become a member of an association or a visit to a park will result in a date that you click with.
   • Another example could be that you push people away because you are afraid of being abandoned. When they leave because of that attitude, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Try letting someone come closer for a change - the relationship can turn out very differently.
4. Change the type of person you choose. Another reason you want to quit relationships may be that you always fall for the same kind of partner. You may choose someone who is unavailable, who is a bad influence, or who cannot commit. Changing the type of person you are looking for can lead to a different outcome.
   • Think about the kind of partner you usually like. When you're ready to start dating again, pick someone who is the complete opposite.
   • For example, if you usually fall for the typical "bad guy," choose someone who is a bit more conservative. You may be inclined to opt for spontaneous people who drop their responsibilities at the slightest thing. However, you may find that dating someone who is more serious and trustworthy provides a relationship that is much more beneficial. Change your habits and see what it brings.
5. Take it easy. Are you the type to fall in love with someone else again in a week? If so, your tendency to rush things could affect your success in relationships. Do things at a slower pace to give yourself more time to assess a potential mate's character and determine if the two of you are a match - before falling head over heels in love again.
   • Think about the pace of your relationships. If you tend to spend an entire weekend with a new person right away, go out with someone and wait a few days before meeting that person again. If you tend to have sex on the first date, give yourself a little more time next time before getting intimate with someone.
6. Put your fears aside. If you fear love or bond, the only way to overcome it is to confront it. Make a plan for taking small steps in learning how to manage your fears.
   • For example, if you are worried about giving up your dreams for love, make sure to explain each potential love affair about how important those dreams are to you. Also, make sure you give those dreams a lot of priority during the early stages of the attachment phase, when you are more likely to lose focus on your dreams.
7. Talk to a therapist. Perhaps your fear of love stems from emotional trauma, such as abuse or rejection. Maybe you are afraid of giving someone else power over your life, so you want to keep everyone at bay. Whatever your reasons, a psychotherapist can identify possible causes and create a plan to help you overcome these fears.
   • Ask your primary care provider for a referral to a therapist in your area.