Don't think about him anymore

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Content

To step
Method 1 of 3: Limit how often you think about him
Method 2 of 3: Distract yourself
Method 3 of 3: Reformulate negative thoughts
Tips

We've all been through a terrible divorce. It can be very difficult to stop thinking about someone who hurt you. However, continuing to muse about past heartbreaks won't make you feel better. If you are struggling to let go of your pain, there are many things you can do to improve your mood. Don't think him too often. If your mind wanders to your ex, try to think about something else. Try to stay distracted. Go on a journey, learn something new and get to know other people. You can't completely banish thoughts of your ex. If such thoughts do occur to you, learn to direct them in the most positive way possible.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Limit how often you think about him

Break contact. It can be hard just to stop talking to someone who was once important to you. But if you want to move on and heal, this is an important step. Stop texting, calling, or meeting at social gatherings. Stop looking at his social media profiles.
- You don't have to be friends with your ex. However, if you want to maintain a friendship, recognize that you can't do that right away. You both need space, so mutually agree not to see or interact with each other for a while.
- If you have to see him because you are colleagues or go to school together, you can be polite without overdoing it. Be polite when you see him, but avoid everyday talk or teasing. Try to have as little contact with him as possible.
When you start thinking about him, put your focus elsewhere. It can be difficult to stop thinking about someone completely. When you think about him, and you think to yourself, "Stop thinking about him," then you only start to think about him more. Instead of getting mad at yourself for thinking about him, look for another way to direct your thoughts.
- For example, you might find something else to focus your thoughts on. Is there someone new that you have feelings for? Try to think about this person. Think about what it would be like to date him and what kind of relationship you might have with him.
- Redirecting your thoughts is more likely to be more helpful in getting rid of unwanted thoughts than simply trying not to think about someone. The mind is a busy place and needs to be occupied, so give it something to do instead of trying to turn it off.
Take a deep breath for 90 seconds. Give yourself 90 seconds to let negative emotions run their course. Once the 90 seconds of breathing and going through experiences is over, you will be better equipped to put your ex out of your mind.
- If you find yourself obsessed, stop and do some breathing exercises for about 90 seconds. Take a very deep breath in and out about 15 times during this minute and a half.
- Breathing can help keep your emotions flowing through you. After 90 seconds, you should feel calmer and more grounded.
Imagine a calming scenario. The mind needs something to think about. If you can't stop thinking about your ex, use your imagination. Imagine a calming scenario, even a fanciful one, to clear out thoughts of your ex.
- For example, imagine that you are at the bottom of the ocean. Think of the soothing feeling of the water and watching the fish swim past you.
- Keep a variety of calming scenarios in mind. If thoughts about your ex bother you, choose one of the scenarios to cover.
Throw out the things that remind you of him. If you still hold on to some of the items that are his or remind you of him, then it's a good idea to let them go or at least keep them out of sight. If you're not ready to throw out things that remind you of him, at least put them in a box and hide the box somewhere you can't see it.
- You could even ask a friend to keep the box of items for you so you're not tempted to look inside.
Remind yourself that you cannot explain his actions. If you are hurt, you can look for an explanation. You may be trying to explain why your ex behaved in a certain way. These thoughts can get out of hand very easily. When you feel them coming, remind yourself of what you don't know.
- What would happen if someone tried to explain your thoughts and actions? Would they be able to fully explain what you are going through or experiencing? Probably not.
- It's not fair to try to explain your ex's actions. You cannot fully explain what he did and why. When you start looking for explanations, pause and think about something like, "I don't know why he did that, so I should stop thinking about it."

Method 2 of 3: Distract yourself

Go on vacation. If you can get out of town for a few days, do so. Traveling and seeing old friends and relatives can help you change your mind and stop thinking about a bad relationship.
- Go to a new place. Visit a friend in a city you haven't been to before. Take a trip to a city or attraction a few hours away.
- A good way to prevent old memories from coming to you is to have fun new experiences.
Get to know new people. It is often better not to start a relationship immediately after being hurt by someone. Getting to know new people, however, can help take your mind off your ex. If necessary, create a dating profile online and see if you can meet someone without immediately going for a serious relationship.
- By becoming more focused on getting to know new people, you can control unwanted thoughts about him. As long as you're honest about not looking for a relationship, a short flirt can be healthy.
Learn something new. What is something you have always wanted to learn or try? Try it now. This keeps your mind busy and prevents you from thinking about your ex.
- Take up a hobby, such as knitting or sewing.
- Join an association or a local sports team.
- Take lessons somewhere. A cooking class or singing class can give you something else to think about than your ex.
Stay away from people who make you nervous. Hang out with people who pick you up, not put you down. Some people are chronic in thoroughly analyzing events and worry about everything. Their fear can be transferred to you. Keep some distance from negative thinking friends for a while. This will help you get back on your feet and not fall into negative thought patterns.

Method 3 of 3: Reformulate negative thoughts

Recognize the truth of the relationship. It can be hard to stop thinking about someone when you're romanticizing what you had. When you miss someone, you can ignore painful memories and focus only on the good times or the good qualities of a person.
- The relationship probably ended for a reason. Did you two fight a lot? Were you just not right for each other? What happened to make things so bad?
- Remember that the relationship was not perfect. Remembering the imperfections can actually help you think less about him in the long run. It will lessen your craving for him.
Know that your thoughts are not facts. If your mind wanders, you are more likely to be irrational. You can start seeing thoughts as facts. But feelings are subjective. Whenever you have negative or irrational thoughts about yourself or a situation, remind yourself.
- Your feelings are real, but that doesn't mean they are true. Just as you don't believe everything you hear, you shouldn't believe everything you think.
- Suppose you think something like, "I'll never find someone like him." Then say something to yourself like, "I feel like this now, and that's okay, but it's probably not true."
Challenge irrational thinking. You can experience a lot of irrational thoughts when you try to forget someone. If you are experiencing a very negative thought about yourself, pause and challenge the thought. Think to yourself, "Is this really the reality?"
- If you have a negative thought, try to examine the evidence. For example, you might think, "No one else will want me." Is this really true? Is it good to make one experience normative? You have probably known other people who have appreciated you.
- Look at the perspective. Think about the last time your heart was broken. You've probably had the same negative thoughts, but they weren't necessarily true. You did love again and found someone else.
- Ask yourself questions like, "If someone else said these things, how would I react?" And "How could I look at this situation positively?"
Try to forgive. It can be difficult to forgive someone who hurt you. But if you can forgive, it will be easier to forget. Try to think positively about him and wish him the best. While it may be difficult at first, having positive thoughts about him on a regular basis can actually make you feel better.
Avoid accusations. The past is the past. Sifting through events long after they have ended, and trying to assign blame is not going to help you in the long run. If you do, stop it and think something like, "It's over now. It doesn't matter whose fault it was. "Then try to focus your mind on the present and the future.