Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 5: Planning the interview
• Part 2 of 5: Starting a dialogue
• Part 3 of 5: Making sure your parents listen to you
• Part 4 of 5: Tackling difficult topics
• Part 5 of 5: Finding alternatives
• Tips
• Warnings

It is often difficult for parents and children to talk openly to each other. Parents often think that they are crossing the children's boundaries, while children often think that their parents are not interested in what they have to say. Whether you feel like your parents are overly critical or you feel uncomfortable starting a conversation with them, have a plan and use some conversation techniques to make it easier to talk to your parents.

To step

Part 1 of 5: Planning the interview

1. Be brave. Whatever the topic, know that once you share it with your parents, you will ease the burden on your shoulders. Don't feel worried, anxious, or embarrassed, because your parents are always there for you. They may also know more than you think.
2. Don't be afraid of your parents getting angry or reacting badly. With good planning and communication you can have the conversation the way you want. Your parents are concerned because they care about you and want the best for you. With that in mind, they'll be happy that you seek their advice on a problem.
3. Don't avoid the conversation. Any problems or inconveniences don't just go away if you avoid talking to your parents. Relieve stress by discussing the problem openly. Knowing that your parents are trying to understand you and are eager to help solve any problems you may have can help relieve your stress and anxiety.
4. Know who you want to speak to. Do you want to talk to both your parents or is it something that one person can deal with better than the other? Your relationship with each parent will be different, so ask yourself the best course of action.
   • Some topics may be easier to discuss with one parent than another - some parent may be more calm while the other may be more angry. In this case, it may be better to talk to your calmer parent first and then talk to both parents together.
   • Know that your parents are likely to inform each other about a conversation you have had, whether or not it happened with just one of them. It's best to talk to both parents, but it's smart to enlist the help of one to talk to the other if you feel like that is the best course of action. For example, you don't want to alienate your dad just by telling your mom about bullying at school. Ask your mom if you can talk to your dad because you're afraid he'll get mad at you for not standing up for yourself.
5. Schedule a time and place for the interview. Keep your parent's schedule in mind so you know when it is a good time to talk. You don't want your parents to be distracted by a meeting or the dinner that needs to be made. The location of your conversation is also important because you may not want distractions like TV or colleagues of your parents calling.
6. Consider the outcome. While you may know what you want from the conversation, your parents can provide different answers. Take everything into account. Ideally, you want the conversation to be as natural as possible, but it's okay if it doesn't. You are never alone as there are plenty of resources and people to consult, including teachers and other responsible adults.
   • If the result is not what you wanted, you can try several things:
     • Talk to your parents again. Maybe the moment was badly chosen. If they are already having a bad day, they may not be in the best frame of mind to discuss your situation with an open mind. For example, don't ask them if you can go to prom if they have to rush to your sister's dance recital anyway.
     • Forget it. There's no point in enraging your parents and ruining your chance of getting something you want done in the near future. If you have had a respectful and open conversation and both parties have argued their cause, accept your parents' position. By showing them that you are mature enough to respect their perspective, they will be more open to what you have to say in the future, knowing that you are able to control your emotions.
     • Seeks outside support. Enlist the help of your grandparents, the parents of your friends, or teachers to help you make your case. Your parents will always be protective of you, so if you ask for outside support, you can convince them that you can handle a situation. For example, you can ask an older sibling to tell your parents that they have been near where you want to go and that they can accompany you to the location to make sure it is safe.

Part 2 of 5: Starting a dialogue

1. Write down what you want to say. You don't have to prepare the entire script, but it will at least give you a few points to start with. It also allows you to organize your thoughts so that you can get a sense of how the conversation might go.
   • You can start with comments such as, `` Dad, I need to tell you something I'm stressed about '' or `` Mom, do you have time to talk to me about something? '' Or `` Mom, Dad, I made a big mistake. and need your help. '
2. Talk to your parents about trivial things every day. If your relationship with your parents isn't like talking to each other every day, talk about small things. If you make it a habit to talk to your parents about something, it will be easier for them to listen to you. This also strengthens your bond.
   • It's never too late to talk to your parents. Even if you haven't spoken to them in over a year, you can just start with a simple "hello". Say something like, "I just wanted to let you know what I've been up to lately and have a chat. We haven't spoken to each other for a while and I would like to let you know what has happened since last time. "Your parents will appreciate the gesture and may find it easier to keep the dialogue open.
3. First, feel carefully. If you think a topic is too sensitive or you know your parents will be harsh, spread the conversation over a period of time. Ask cautious questions to get a sense of their answer or to give a hint about what you want to talk about.
   • For example: If you want to talk to your parents about being sexually active, say something like, "Mom, Lisa has been dating her boyfriend for a year, it seems really serious. Do you think something like that could be serious in high school? "By using a friend as an example, you place a situation in a context, and you can gain a lot of insight into how your parents will respond to it. You can't direct their thoughts, but be careful not to be overly obvious as they might start to suspect and ask questions about what's going on.
4. Know what you want the result to be. It is impossible to map out the course of a conversation if you have no idea of ​​the purpose. Ask yourself what you want the dialogue to bring about so that you know what techniques to use.

Part 3 of 5: Making sure your parents listen to you

1. Make sure your message is clear and direct. Clearly let them know what you think, how you feel, and what you want. It's easy to get nervous and stray or mumble. Prepare for the conversation to calm your nerves and give detailed examples until you are sure your parents understand what you mean.
2. Be honest. Avoid exaggerating or lying. It can be difficult to hide your emotions if the subject is very sensitive. Speak sincerely and make sure your parents don't reject everything you say. If you've lied in the past or been dramatic on a regular basis, it may take your parents time to believe you, but be persistent.
3. Understand your parents' position. Anticipate your parents' response. Have you ever talked to them about related matters? If you know they will react negatively or disagree, let them know that you understand their motivation. If you show that you take their feelings into account, they are more likely to be open to your perspective.
   • Suppose your parents are concerned about having a cell phone. Then you can say something like, "Mom, Dad, I know you don't want me to have a cell phone." I understand that they cost a lot of money, involve a lot of responsibility, and you feel they are unnecessary for children my age. I know the other girls in my class use their own phones a lot for games or Instagram. What if I save for a phone and we take out a prepaid plan to make sure I only use my money? You can also check out the games and apps that I download because I only want to use it for specific moments, such as when my volleyball game ended or when you are on the phone with Grandma. "
4. Don't argue or whine. Be respectful and mature by using a positive tone. Don't be sarcastic or smirk when you hear things you disagree with. If you talk to your parents the way you want to be addressed, chances are they will take the conversation seriously.
5. Consider talking only to your mom or dad. Certain conversations are best conducted with specific parents. Maybe you talked more about school with your dad or about going out with your mom. Make sure you have the right conversation with the right person.
6. Choose the right time and place. Make sure you give your parents full and undivided attention when you talk to them. Avoid places in public or when they have little time to talk to you. Let them absorb everything you say and don't overwhelm them by starting an important conversation at an inappropriate time.
7. Listen when your parents have something to say. Don't get distracted thinking about the next thing to say. Absorb what your parents say to you and respond appropriately. It's easy to get stuck in something if you don't get the answer you want right away.
   • You can even repeat what your parents said to make sure you understood them and let them know that you are listening carefully.
8. Create a balanced conversation. You don't want to have a one-sided conversation, so ask questions and respond if you feel that your message is not getting across. Don't interrupt your parents or raise your voice. However, if your parents get upset, say something like, "I understand you're not happy about this. I don't want to put that aside, but I do want to be able to talk about it constructively. Shall we talk again at a later time?

Part 4 of 5: Tackling difficult topics

1. Anticipate the outcome. You probably want the conversation to accomplish any of the following, or some combination of them:
   • That your parents listen and understand what you say without judging or commenting.
   • That your parents give their support or permission to do something.
   • That your parent offer you advice or help.
   • That you get guidance, especially when you are in trouble.
   • That your parents are honest and don't put you down.
2. Consider how you feel. This can be difficult, especially if you need to talk about sex or open up in a way you've never done before. It's natural to feel uncomfortable or insecure talking to your parents about difficult topics. Understand what you are feeling and let your parents know so it will ease you.
   • For example, if you are concerned that your parents will be disappointed, let them know immediately. Say something like, "Mom, I know you've talked about this before and you'll be disappointed with what I'm going to tell you, but I know you'll listen to everything so we can talk about it."
   • If your parents are particularly emotional and you expect a very harsh or unsupportive response, let them know that you've taken this into account and yet mustered up the courage to still approach. Be proactive and positively mitigate the situation. Say something like, `` Dad, I know how angry this is going to make you, but I think it's important that I tell you because I know you love and respect me, and only get angry because you want the best for me. '
3. Choose the right time to talk to them. If your parents are already having a bad day, they may be even more likely to give you a negative reaction. Unless it's an emergency, wait for an appropriate time to bring it up with your parents. Wait until you feel that they will be open to it, and that their day has been relatively stress-free.
   • For example, ask, "Can we have a chat or is it not convenient now?" Taking a long car ride or walk may be the perfect time, but if these opportunities never arise, then you can just make time for them.
   • Make sure you know what you want to say in advance or write down important points to make sure you don't miss anything. You don't want to be surprised and have your parents start a conversation you're not ready for.

Part 5 of 5: Finding alternatives

1. Choose your battleground carefully. You don't always get what you want, so don't be stubborn if your parents tell you something you don't want to hear. If you have made your point with respect and listen to what they have to say about it, they will be more receptive to what you have to say in a subsequent conversation.
2. Talk to other adults you know well. Sometimes our parents face their own problems. If one of your parents is addicted or has mental health issues, talk to other adults you trust. Whether it is teachers, family members, or counselors, there are many people you can talk to.
   • Before speaking to someone you haven't yet established a relationship with, it's a good idea to look around and ask people you interact with a lot to help you.
3. Behave grown up. If you choose not to talk to your parents, handle your problems with maturity. Don't avoid problems, especially those related to your health or safety. If you wanted to talk to your parents about someone, consider talking directly and respectfully to that person.

Tips

• Mornings can be stressful as your parents may be rushing to avoid rush hours or worrying about their work. Try to keep the conversation light if you want to talk in the morning.
• Small words count. A "thank you" or simply "hello, how was your day" can mean a lot to your parents.
• It's okay to disagree on things as long as you respect what they have to say.
• Preparing for dinner can be a good time to talk, because then everyone has something to do. Everyone is then at their own location without fully concentrating on you.
• Be confident and don't worry.
• Read books, blogs, or check out forums on how to open up communication with your parents.
• If you disagree with their position, calm down before reacting negatively or angrily. Take a few deep breaths. After experiencing a quiet calm for a few seconds, begin explaining your point of view.
• Make sure your parents aren't rushed, busy, frustrated, or tired. Try to talk to them at a good time for all of you. Make sure you feel ready for the conversation.

Warnings

• The longer you wait to talk about difficult topics, the more nervous you will become. If your parents find out that you have been hiding something from them, it can be very difficult to have the conversation the way you wanted to.
• Be patient when you talk to your parents, especially sensitive topics. You don't want to flare up and cloud someone's judgment.
• If you and your parents have not developed good communication skills in the past, it may take time for them to feel comfortable talking to you openly.