Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 4: Weighing the consequences
• Part 2 of 4: Making progress within the relationship
• Part 3 of 4: Making the relationship a success
• Tips
• Warnings

Everyone has experienced it before: you notice that you start to feel more for a friend of yours and you don't know what to do with it. To make matters worse, the friend you're more interested in doesn't notice anything, or he or she is fine with just staying friends with you. You have entered the infamous friendship zone. But before you panic, it's good to know there is a way out. Remember that the relationship you have with your boyfriend or girlfriend is just like any other relationship, so your relationship can grow and change. As long as you weigh the risks, gradually make your interest clear, and respect unspoken boundaries, you keep open the possibility of your friendship growing into something more.

To step

Part 1 of 4: Weighing the consequences

1. Ask yourself if it's worth it. Trying to turn your friendship into a love affair could have unintended consequences. If it doesn't work out, the friendship can suffer and eventually even stop. If you really care about the person you fell for, try to figure out for yourself whether you really want to take that risk. You may find that you are better off as friends and you can adjust your expectations accordingly.
   • Think about your past with the other person and how he or she behaved towards you. Can you sense anything more than just interest or love in it? How have things developed between the two of you since you became friends?
   • If the person you like tends to emphasize that you are such a good friend or compares you to a sibling, it could be his or her way of letting you know that he or she is happy with your roles as currently divided.
2. Talk to your mutual friends. Find out what the person you are interested in feels by talking to your mutual friends. They are often a source of valuable information about what is going on in the mind of the friend you are interested in. They will often also be able to tell you whether or not it is a good idea to try to have a romantic relationship with him or her, or whether it might endanger your friendship.
   • If your mutual friends think there is a chance that you could get together, let those friends put in a good word for you or ask them to send subtle signals to the friend you are interested in. If he or she hears a close friend say something like, "you two are so nice together" or "you two would really make a perfect couple together," that might be just what he or she needs to see in a different way. to see you.
   • While you should basically do what's best for you, it's worth thinking about what it would mean for the rest of your friends if you and your boyfriend or girlfriend got into a relationship. You may feel uncomfortable discussing the details of your relationship with someone who is also friends with your partner. And if it broke down, your mutual friends could end up in conflict because they want to stay friends with both of you.
3. Get the timing right. Even if you decide to face confrontation directly, don't expose yourself all at once. Wait until you are alone with him or her and can talk openly without being distracted or getting into an embarrassing situation. Also, keep in mind other details when it comes to choosing the right circumstances - if your boyfriend or girlfriend is just going through a stressful period or just coming to the end of a long-term relationship, it probably isn't the right time to share your feelings. share him or her.
   • The best time to step beyond the friendship zone is when the relationship between you and your boyfriend is good, you spend a lot of time together, and discuss your relationship wishes and frustrations. That way, you'll have at least the resources and information you'll need to meet his or her needs.

Part 2 of 4: Making progress within the relationship

1. Spend more time with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Offer your boyfriend or girlfriend to do things together more often and try to spend your time together in a different way. Instead of interacting with each other as normal friends, as you always have, try to show more interest in him or her, both substantively and physically. Leaving the friendship zone is often nothing more than getting your boyfriend or girlfriend to see you and the way you interact differently. The more often the two of you are together, the more you can show him or her of your true feelings.
   • A good way to spend more time alone with the person you are interested in is to separate them. When you get together with your friends again, start a one-on-one conversation with him or her, or move away from the group with your friend so the two of you can do something together.
   • Invite your friend to do things you know they enjoy, such as going to a concert, going for a long walk, or exercising together.
2. Start small and work from there. Don't expect a long-lasting friendship to spill over into a passionate love affair overnight. Give the other person time to adjust his or her perspective to the new situation in a relaxed way.First, do something together a few times without it directly resembling a formal date, and then officially ask him or her out once, when the right time has come. Gradually make your gestures more playful and flirty, and only make more truly affectionate gestures over time. If you push too hard right away, you may drive him or her away from you.
   • Sometimes it can be difficult to find a good way to start flirting without looking weird. Try to give sincere compliments to the friend you are interested in every now and then, by hinting about the things you like about his or her appearance and character. Eventually, he or she will begin to see your comments in a new light.
   • Learn to interpret your boyfriend or girlfriend's behavior. If the other person responds well to light flirting, it can be a good sign. But if he or she suddenly goes silent or changes the subject when you are more than nice, chances are your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't like you that way.
3. Try it with someone else. If there is someone else who likes you too, it may be an idea to try it with that person instead of with your boyfriend or girlfriend. That way, you may get the chance to sort out your feelings for your boyfriend or girlfriend while at the same time being able to have a love affair. Try to find someone who is not a friend of yours and who you feel is a good match for you. Find someone who is interested in the same things as you and who you are seriously attracted to.
   • Don't pretend to like someone else just to make your boyfriend or girlfriend jealous. If you want to show that you are interested in someone else, make sure it is real.
   • Keep in mind that if your boyfriend or girlfriend is interested in you, your new relationship could make him or her jealous. Just make sure this isn't your goal if you're chasing someone else.
4. Break the so-called touch barrier. Small, physical gestures are the building blocks for more intimacy. Try to touch the friend you are interested in more often. Suddenly grab his arm while you're telling an interesting story, or put your hand on her side as she walks through the door ahead of you. With these kinds of subtle contacts, you can cause certain feelings to develop in your boyfriend or girlfriend that may make him or her want more.
   • Gradually increase your physical contact with your friend and treat him or her with respect. Not everyone likes to be touched, and you run the risk of delivering the wrong message if you act rude or place your hands where they don't belong.
   • One of the biggest differences between friends and lovers is that lovers touch each other in more flirty, suggestive ways. If you start to touch your boyfriend or girlfriend in a more intimate way, it will naturally cause him or her to see you and your relationship differently.
5. Be clear about your feelings. If you're fed up with waiting around or just not being around, you may prefer to say directly to your boyfriend or girlfriend what you're feeling. This is certainly not always a bad idea. Choose a time when you can sit down with him or her and talk about it. Speak from your heart while explaining what you are feeling, but try not to make your boyfriend or girlfriend feel uncomfortable. Let him or her know that you are not expecting to change the character of your friendship, but that you should say what is on your mind anyway. By talking about it openly, you remove all doubts from him or her and you get a clear answer to the question whether or not there is a chance that you can continue as more than friends.
   • Try saying something like, "I'm a little scared to say this to you but I feel ..." or, "We've spent so much time together and I like being around you. I actually feel more for you and ... "
   • It could be that your boyfriend or girlfriend is going through a similar dilemma but is hesitant to act on it because he or she doesn't feel that you are interested too.
   • If you can overcome your nerves and dare to be honest, you are more likely to get a clear and honest answer, which can save you the suffering of having to spend weeks in a nerve-wracking way with the situation in your stomach.

Part 3 of 4: Making the relationship a success

1. Record a rejection gracefully. Be prepared to be rejected once you ask your boyfriend or girlfriend out or tell him or her how you feel. He or she may not feel the same way about you, and there is nothing wrong with that. Just smile and act on him or her in the way you know he or she is comfortable with, to reassure him or her that you still just want to be friends with the other person. The world is not ending and you will feel better knowing at least once and for all that you have at least tried it.
   • Make sure you are able to accept “no” as an answer. There is much to be said about determination, but once someone has made a decision for themselves, you will have to accept it.
   • After disappointing you, your boyfriend or girlfriend may feel just as bad as you do. Try to stay as positive and cheerful as possible so that he or she doesn't have to worry about affecting your friendship. The better you can handle it, the more sure you will know for yourself that you want the two of you to remain friends.
2. Seek support from your friends and family. By spending time with your friends and family, reduce the discouragement of your unrequited love. The more you can laugh and the more distraction you have, the better you will feel and the more you will feel that you are in control of the situation you have found yourself in. It will remind you that there are still people who care about you, even when things may not turn out quite as you hoped.
   • Talking about your problems with someone close to you can often help you put things in perspective.
3. Take some time for yourself. Being rejected can hurt, and kind words don't always help. Sometimes it's just easier to be alone. Put your social obligations on the back burner for a moment to regain contact with yourself and to take stock of the good things in your life. Spend time developing a particular skill or devote yourself to your hobbies. Being able to lift yourself up in difficult times means that you will never be afraid to try, even if you may not be able to.
   • Don't make it appear that you are angry with your boyfriend or girlfriend or trying to punish him or her for the fact that the feeling is not mutual. Explain to him or her that you are taking some time for yourself as a way to strengthen emotionally and organize your thoughts.
   • Your desperate need to be in a relationship will disappear once you are able to find happiness in being alone again.
4. Focus on your friendship. Ideally, you share your feelings with a guy or girl you are interested in, and then he or she tells you that it is better for you to stay friends. In that case, you were lucky. It may not be exactly what you wanted, but it is a very clear answer that will let you know exactly where you stand and what aspects of your friendship you can work on. See it as an opportunity for a fresh, refreshing start in your relationship and for becoming closer friends than ever.
   • It's not said that your boyfriend or girlfriend won't change your mind in the future. Try to be comfortable with the fact that you will just be friends for now, but don't think that everything is now lost if you are sure about your feelings for him or her.
5. Don't blame yourself when the friendship is over. The other person may feel that you cannot remain friends after finding out what you really feel about him or her. When this happens you must understand that you have done nothing wrong. It is important that you are honest with yourself and with your boyfriend or girlfriend because ignoring your needs can cause the relationship to become a source of frustration for both of you. Sometimes things just don't go quite the way you want them to. In that case, move on with your life and take comfort in the fact that at least you gave the situation the chance it deserved.
   • Look for productive ways to relieve the pain, such as jotting down your thoughts in a journal or visiting your other friends for emotional support.
   • If someone wants to end their friendship with you after they find themselves in a difficult situation, chances are they didn't really value your friendship that much anyway.

Tips

• Not speaking out can be painful and can put a strain on your friendship. If you really think you've fallen for a boyfriend or girlfriend, be honest with him or her.
• Don't flirt with other guys or girls while trying to turn your relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend into something else unless you flirt strategically to make your boyfriend or girlfriend a little jealous.
• By making time for your boyfriend or girlfriend and always being there for him or her when he or she needs you, you can show how much you care about him or her.
• If you feel that your boyfriend or girlfriend has sent mixed signals at you, he or she may like you, but not know what to do with his or her feelings for fear of jeopardizing the friendship .
• Even if you do everything right, you have no guarantee that the other person will ever want more than friendship. If you're simply not making progress, be realistic enough to accept it and focus on being the best friend you can.
• Just be kind and respect his or her space.

Warnings

• Stop seeking physical contact if you notice that your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't like it. At first he or she may not say anything out of courtesy, but the last thing you want is to drift away from someone you have a close relationship with.
• Keep in mind that even if things turn out the way you want them to, your friendship will probably never be the same anyway.
• Try not to interfere with your boyfriend or girlfriend's existing relationships. Doing so can make you appear selfish or desperate and only hurt him or her, which is obviously not what you want.
• Try not to let your feelings become a blind obsession. Deal with the situation realistically, see things within their perspective, and be busy enough to take your mind off persistent worries and desires.