Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 4: Discover who you are
• Part 2 of 4: Dealing with others
• Part 3 of 4: Working on your real self
• Part 4 of 4: Standing strong
• Tips
• Warnings

"Be yourself as much as possible" is perhaps the most common piece of advice when it comes to personal growth and development. Be yourself as much as possible. It is actually such a vague cry. What exactly does it mean to be yourself? And is it really as easy as it sounds? This may well be the case with the steps below.

To step

Part 1 of 4: Discover who you are

1. Try to find yourself and define yourself according to your own conditions. Oscar Wilde once said with his usual wit: Be yourself, because everyone else has already been sold. As funny as this may sound, it is a very concise summary of the truth. Yet you cannot be yourself if you do not first get to know yourself and learn to understand and accept yourself. Those are the first goals you should set for yourself.
   • Take the time to figure out what is important to you and sit down to reflect on what is at the heart of who you are. To do this, you can take a closer look at your life and the choices you have made in the course of your life. Try to think about what things you would or would not like to do, and try to act accordingly; remember that discovering these things through trial and error helps more than you think.
   • In addition, you can also take certain personality tests, but be careful that you only get what you want from those tests so that you do not allow yourself to be defined by those tests. Instead, make sure that you define yourself according to your own terms and that you are completely comfortable with that definition. It may make you feel very lonely, but over time, if you hang out with the people who are right for you, those people will accept you for who you are.
2. Don't be surprised if, as you search for your values, you find that some of those values ​​seem to contradict each other. This is a natural consequence of adopting a wide range of values ​​from a wide variety of sources, including culture, religions, teachers, inspiring people, education, etc. However, it is important that you continuously work to resolve these conflicts. so that you find out which values ​​feel like the most real to you.
   • Just because your values ​​seem to contradict each other doesn't mean you should give them up. Try to see it all as part of your dynamic self. There is no box that fits you exactly and there is no label that you can stick on yourself. You have values ​​for all different aspects of your life, so it is natural for those values ​​to be different from each other.
3. Don't dwell in the past and prevent that you cannot grow further. One of the most unhealthy approaches to trying to be yourself is deciding that the person you are is defined by a certain time or period in your life, after which you spend the rest of your life just trying to still to be that person from the past, instead of someone you are still yourself but who still grows every season and every year. Allow yourself the space to grow and to become better and wiser.
   • Allow yourself to forgive your past mistakes or behaviors you are not so proud of. Work on accepting the mistakes and the choices you have made; you have made those mistakes and choices and they are a thing of the past. You had your reasons for it and at the time that decision seemed logical, so instead of trapping yourself in past mistakes, give yourself the opportunity to learn as much as you can and to keep growing.
   • Look around and try to find people who proudly say that they are exactly the same as they were when they were 16, 26, 36 or whatever old. Do these people give the impression that they are flexible and happy as human beings and that they raise their children in a relaxed way? Often this is not because they are so busy insisting that nothing has ever changed for them, that they are unable to accept new ideas, learn from others, or grow. Growing into each new age and stage in our lives is a necessary part of being true to ourselves and of our spiritual health and wholeness.
4. Always keep looking for your own strengths. Your strengths can change over time and so can the definition of yourself, but be sure to keep focusing on those strengths over and over again. Your strengths are more than sufficient to counterbalance your weaknesses and are the main reason why you shouldn't compare yourself to others.
   • Comparison leads to feelings of revenge. A resentful person cannot focus on the mantra of "being yourself" because such a person is too busy desiring to be someone else!
   • Comparing also means that you start to criticize others. A life filled with criticism of others is the result of a lack of self-confidence and the need to take others off the pedestal you have placed them on. That way, you lose friends as well as respect, and you never become yourself because all you do is envy others and spend too much time admiring others for their qualities, instead of spending time on yourself.
5. Relax. Stop worrying about the worst that could happen, especially in social situations. What does it matter if you go off gigantic once? Or if spinach spinach gets stuck in your teeth? Or if you bump heads when you bend over to kiss your lover? Learn to laugh at yourself, both in the moment and afterwards.
   • Make it a funny story to share with others. That way you let them know that you are not perfect and it will make you feel more comfortable too. Being able to laugh at yourself and not take yourself too seriously is also a very attractive quality!

Part 2 of 4: Dealing with others

1. Be honest without being unkind. What have you got to hide? No one is perfect and we are all still learning. If you feel ashamed or insecure about any aspect of yourself and you feel that you need to hide those parts of yourself, be they physical or psychological aspects, then you will have to learn to live with those aspects of yourself and must learn to convert your so-called imperfections into special qualities of yourself or simply as ordinary, sober acknowledgments of your own imperfections.
   • Try the tactic of acknowledging your own imperfections while in the middle of a discussion with someone. Often you will find that you suddenly don't see at all the reason why you stubbornly held on to your point of view in a discussion at all, where all too often it is about not losing face and not giving in at all. As soon as you say, "Yeah, you know, it annoys me a lot when the room is a mess. And I admit I shouldn't leave my clothes in a pile on the floor and I do it anyway because that's the lazy side of myself that I'm still trying to change I'm sorry, I know I could do better, and I'm going to try, "you suddenly add to an argument a bit of genuine honesty about yourself negating the whole point that started the argument.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others. If you always try to be someone you are not yet, you will never be happy. This is what you get if you keep comparing yourself to others and you are constantly busy wanting things in a certain way. This is a dangerous path that will only lead to your thinking becoming more and more negative.
   • You always see the outer layer that others want to show of themselves, but you will never see what is really going on inside them, behind their masks and inside their world that seems perfect to the outside world. By always comparing yourself to others, you attach far too much importance to the portrait of their image and reduce your self-esteem based on a delusion. It's a pointless way of doing things that only causes damage.
   • Instead, try to appreciate who you are, to love your own personality and appreciate your shortcomings; we have them all, and as we explained above, it is better to be honest than to run away from your shortcomings.
3. Stop worrying about how others see you. Some will like you and some will not. Any attitude can just as well be right or wrong. It's almost impossible to be yourself if you keep asking yourself things like: Do they think I'm funny? Would she think I'm fat? Do they think I'm stupid? Am I good / smart / popular enough to belong to their group of friends? To be yourself, you have to let go of those worries and just let your behavior flow, using only your own opinion of others as a filter - and not their opinion of you.
   • If you change yourself for one person or group, someone else or another group may not like you again, and chances are you will be forever stuck in a vicious circle of trying to adapt to others in instead of further developing your own talents and strengths.
4. Stop trying to please everyone all the time. Always trying to love and respect everyone is ultimately a completely useless pursuit that can be detrimental to your personal development and self-confidence. What does it matter what other people say? Eleanor Roosevelt once said: no one can talk you into an inferiority complex without your permission and most importantly, you listen to your own self-confidence within and if it isn't there, start working on it to develop it!
   • Does that mean that nobody's opinion matters in life? No. It hurts when you are socially rejected. If you are forced to find yourself in a situation where you have to spend all of your time with people who don't like you for their own reasons, you run the risk of believing negative ideas about who you are yourself. What you can do is practice choosing whose opinions you value most and whose opinions you consider less important. It's much healthier to pay attention to people who genuinely want you to be right and who support what you want to do with your life.
5. Surround yourself with positive thinking people. If you're dealing with negative social pressure or bullying, don't try to justify what you're going through. You will be more resistant to it if you are aware that it is about pressure and if you know how to defend yourself against it in healthy ways. Building a circle of friends made up of people you trust, who look at things more or less the same way as you do, is a good way to lessen the negative effect that hostile people have on you. You can tell yourself that their opinions don't matter, and they shouldn't matter, but that's a lot easier when there are other people who agree with you and support you.
   • Compare those who love you to the bully, whoever that is; you may suddenly realize that how he or she about you, your family, or about the way you live your life is worth nothing. Deep down, we all value the opinions of the people we respect and look up to. This has two sides: If someone disrespects you, what they say about you is nothing more than empty words from someone who is just a hair different from a stranger who doesn't know you at all.
6. Know the difference between intimidating, sarcastic, or underhanded comments and well-intentioned, constructive criticism. Constructive criticism is aimed at real mistakes that you are not aware of and that you should actually do something about. In the latter case, it may very well be that people like your parents, teachers, your mentor, coaches, etc., say things to you that you should let yourself know and think about at your own pace, before you can actually change yourself in a positive way. The difference is that the criticism they have of you is to help you.
   • These people care about you and are interested in the way you grow up as a human being, and treat you with respect. Learn to see the difference and you will have a pleasant life where you stop paying attention to pointless negative criticism and learn from positive, constructive criticism.

Part 3 of 4: Working on your real self

1. Treat yourself as you would your own best friend. You value your friends and the people close to you; and who is closer to you than yourself? Treat yourself in the same kind, tactful, and respectful way that you would treat other people you care about. If you had to spend a day with yourself, what's that the funniest / most entertaining / happy / relaxed / satisfied kind of person you could be while still being yourself? What is the best version of yourself?
   • Be responsible for yourself and for boosting your confidence. If others don't tell you you're great, don't let that affect you. Instead, tell yourself that you are special, wonderful, and worthwhile. If you believe those things about yourself, others will recognize that shiny layer of self-confidence and in no time will begin to confirm the recognition you give yourself!
2. Develop and express your personality. Whether it's your own style, or who knows even your way of speaking, if the way you enjoy doing something is different from most people's and generates positive responses, be proud of it. Then make sure you are not a character, but a character.
   • Learn to communicate well - the better you can express yourself, the easier it is for the people who appreciate you as you are to find you, and the easier it is for those who don't, to simply stay away from you.
3. Don't try to be unreasonable with yourself. Some comparisons lead us to compare apples with pears. We would like to be one of the best film producers in Hollywood, when in fact we are nothing more than a humble screenwriter with big ambitions. Looking at that top producer's way of life and, as a result, finding that you want it too is a false comparison - that person has years of experience and networking under their belt, while you are just starting out and exploring the terrain with writing skills which may one day turn out to be exceptional.
   • Be realistic in the comparisons you make and only look at others inspiration to do and as a source of motivation, and not as a way to shrink yourself.
4. Follow your own style. You often see a lot of people imitating other people because that seems to be the best way for them too, but let's be honest, wouldn't it be much better to stand out? Indeed, it is true that standing out is very difficult, but you should try not to assume in advance what other people expect from you, even if it is not something you would normally do; that's what it's all about if you want to be yourself.
   • Whatever you are accept it. Being different is definitely a beautiful thing and it will attract other people. Don't let other people change you!
5. Accept the fact that you will have better and worse days. Some people may raise their eyebrows or even laugh at you when you feel like you really are yourself, but as long as you can shrug and say, “Well, that's just me,” and leave it at that, people will eventually respect you for it and you will eventually respect yourself. Most people have a hard time being themselves; if you can, they might even admire you for it.
   • Sometimes it will hurt when you are bullied. And while it can be very difficult and it may be much easier said than done, do the best you can to put it aside. Ultimately, you will grow as a person and become a better person, know who you are, and be better able to survive, regardless of the obstacles you face in the future.

Part 4 of 4: Standing strong

1. Stand up for yourself. If someone is bothering you, why would you let that happen? The person has never received an official certificate stating that he or she has the right to bully others! If you have a problem, there are a lot of good-natured, understanding people who are more than happy to help you.
2. Stand up for others too. If you catch someone bullying others, it is your duty as a human to stop them. It doesn't matter how you do it, but you have the right to stop the bullying. You believe in yourself.
3. Also stand up for those against whom you have defended yourself. Just because you had to stand up for yourself doesn't mean those people have no feeling at all!

Tips

• Just because someone says they don't like something about you doesn't mean it's wrong or that you need to change it. It really depends on what it is; often it is no more than a matter of preference.
• Change is a continuous process. Therefore, it is inevitable that who you are will change over time, and you will probably almost always change for the better if you make sure you have always stayed in touch and connected with the world around you. you and that your presence has been relevant, and that you have made sure that your personal development has been one of the highest priorities in your life.
• Even if your friends seem different, try your best not to hold back. Be yourself and if they don't accept then they are not real friends of yours.
• It can be very harmful if you try to be "just like" someone else only to end up with some of their popularity, appearance, and attitudes attached to you. Stay unique by making sure your own perspective is on building your strong qualities through the inspiration of others, not by becoming like them.
• Fads and fashion trends are a matter of decisions you make yourself. While some people shun them like the plague in the name of "individualism," that doesn't mean you aren't yourself if you do choose to follow a certain trend. It's what matters you want.
• Know when to walk with the crowd instead of pinning your heels into something. For example: Sometimes you better agree to go to the concert of a band you don't really like because it is an opportunity to spend time with your friends and have fun together. In such a case, it is about making compromises and respecting other people's preferences.
• Don't say you can do something if you don't just to please someone! This will not help anyone, and he or she will find out the truth soon enough.
• As you try to be yourself and accept yourself, don't let your shortcomings discourage you. Whether or not you can do something about those shortcomings, make sure you know that they make you who you are and that they help define who you are. Your shortcomings are just part of you, so don't be ashamed of them.
• While buying new clothes or deciding what to wear, take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Instead of focusing on the bad points of your appearance, pay attention to the positives and you will see that you gain confidence.

Warnings

• Just because you don't care how others see you doesn't mean you should let go of your good manners and courtesy. Minimal respect for yourself and others is enshrined in etiquette and guarantees that everyone can live in harmony with a minimal level of expectation regarding how to interact with each other in a courteous manner.
• Try to show respect for others as much as you have for yourself. Being yourself may mean expressing yourself and voicing your opinions, dreams, and preferences, but it certainly doesn't mean forcing your ideas on other people against their will! Everyone has needs, dreams, and desires that are all equally worthy, and we should all value other people's values ​​as much as our own. Therefore, in the search for yourself, try not to be unkind, blunt, or selfish.