Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Choose your prospects
• Method 2 of 3: Change your attitude
• Method 3 of 3: Be positive
• Tips

Setbacks are an inevitable part of life. However, sometimes these obstacles can discourage us and make us depressed. By focusing on the positive as much as possible and learning to see setbacks as learning moments, you can help yourself avoid feeling discouraged when you are unexpectedly faced with a challenge.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Choose your prospects

1. Visualize achieving your goals. Try to imagine how happy you will be when you get a promotion at work or manage to reach your goal weight. Focus on the positive outcome of achieving your goals rather than getting discouraged at the thought of the distance that still needs to be bridged to reach those goals.
   • For example, if you want to save for a vacation, you need to determine how much money you need for the trip and then brainstorm how you can achieve this desired amount. Don't be put off by the overwhelming feeling you may experience first. For example, you could stop buying coffee every day at a coffee shop or cancel your digital TV subscription for a year to save more. Try to imagine how happy you will be as the process progresses and you get closer to the amount you envisioned to enjoy your vacation.
2. Focus on your successes. Avoid focusing on past setbacks or mistakes, as that can leave you despondent. Instead, focus on successes already achieved and the steps you can take to achieve your goals.
   • If you've been trying to lose weight and are going through a bad weekend where you ate too much and didn't exercise, don't be too hard on yourself. Instead, focus on what you did well, such as picking up your good habits right away on Monday morning or giving your mind and body a week of rest. Focus primarily on what you have done well instead of dwelling on your setbacks or mistakes. This keeps you motivated and mentally strong.
3. Try to see setbacks as learning moments. Everyone has failed at some point or another. You need to remember that despite a setback you are not a failure. Setbacks are moments you can learn from, so you know what to do and what not to do next time.
   • If you are faced with a particular setback, try not to dwell on the negative for too long. Reminiscing about setbacks for a long time has a discouraging and counterproductive effect, so look for opportunities instead when you experience a setback.
   • For example, losing your job can be a good time to start looking for a job that gives you more satisfaction or to go back to school. The end of a relationship may give you the opportunity to focus on loving yourself more as a person and maintaining friendships better.
4. Set realistic goals. Unrealistic goals are bound to have a discouraging effect, so make sure that the goals you hope to achieve are realistic and can be achieved within a reasonable time frame. Keep in mind that making progress takes time, and most personal goals will not be achieved within one or two days.
   • Make sure to break larger goals into smaller steps so that you feel like the situation is more manageable. For example, instead of aiming to complete a marathon this year, you could slowly but surely work towards this by completing a three-mile run first.
5. Track your progress. Seeing physical evidence of your own performance is important. Having visible evidence of your progress will make you feel better and keep you motivated to work towards your goals.
   • For example, you could keep a journal of the weight you lose while losing weight, write down when you pay off certain debts, or keep a written record of how much money you transfer to your savings account each time. Every little bit helps, and keeping a record of the progress you are making will show you how far you've come.

Method 2 of 3: Change your attitude

1. Choose optimism. To overcome discouragement, choose optimism and positivity. While this may feel forced and “fake” at first, your efforts will pay off in the end. Rather than thinking that you are not going to achieve your goal until you even make an effort, believe that it is possible to achieve your goals if you work hard and give yourself enough time.
   • For example, if you need to lose 23 pounds, it can feel quite overwhelming. However, if you look at your weight loss goal from a positive perspective and see that you only need to lose 2.3 pounds ten times, the goal will immediately seem more attainable. Optimism and positive thinking are key to shaping your goals mentally and then achieving them.
2. Let go of anger. Anger due to past mistakes or wrongs done to you will discourage you and leave you feeling unsatisfactory. Acknowledge your anger and remember that it is okay for you to feel that way, but also try to see that anger will not benefit you at all. Leave your anger behind and focus on your goals.
   • Anger is often an expression of other emotions, such as frustration, insecurity, injustice or the feeling that you have been hurt. Try to deal with your anger constructively. Healthy ways to control your anger include taking a deep breath and taking time out.
   • Engaging in relaxing activities that can be distracting, such as reading a book or writing in a journal, is another helpful way to deal with frustration.
3. Let go of fear. Fear, like anger, has an undesirable effect on encouragement and happiness. If you live with a fear of failure or have never achieved important goals, your fears can have a paralyzing effect on you. Integrating techniques that can ease feelings of anxiety is key to letting go of your fears and avoiding discouragement and fear. It is important to do something about your fears so that you can deal with fear adequately.
   • For example, if you have to travel for work but are afraid of flying, this could have a negative effect on the positive evaluation you have in mind. Exposure therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy may help you reduce your fears and desensitize yourself to the intimidating experience. Use cognitive behavioral therapy to confront yourself with your fears and concerns.
4. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Comparing yourself to friends, relatives, or colleagues will evoke feelings of fear and discouragement. You are unaware of the struggles and discouragement they have gone through to achieve what they have achieved today. All you can do is your best, so focus on yourself and what you can do to achieve your goals. Avoid focusing on others, as this will only discourage and distract you when you are trying to achieve your goals.

Method 3 of 3: Be positive

1. Try to get more exercise. Exercise fights depression and improves your mood. If you are feeling slightly down or discouraged, try to get at least 20 minutes of exercise every day. If possible, go for a walk or run in the fresh air and sunshine.
2. Find a mentor. If you are struggling with feeling discouraged at work, try to find a co-worker who can act as a mentor. Your mentor should be a positive person who is willing to work with you. Avoid trying to force the relationship between you and the potential mentor. Make sure you find a mentor with whom you think you can work well.
   • For example, if you are just starting out as a teacher and feel overwhelmed, you might ask a friendly colleague how he or she coped with stress and discouragement during his or her early days. Their wisdom and experience will come in handy, in addition to saying that you are not alone with such feelings.
3. Keep a journal daily. Keeping a daily record of your goals, setbacks and feelings will make you more aware of the progress you are making. Being aware of your own feelings and how certain situations affect you is key to achieving balance and avoiding discouragement.
   • For example, has a certain setback at work really discouraged you this week? Have you achieved a very good result on an exam for which you have learned hard? Write down all good and bad feelings and experiences in your journal.
   • Keeping a gratitude journal is a great way to stave off discouragement. Start by keeping a gratitude journal and try to write a piece every day about something that went well and that you are grateful for.
   • You can download diary and gratitude diary applications on your phone, tablet or computer if you prefer. On the other hand, an old-fashioned notepad is of course also possible.
4. Reward yourself for your achievements. When you have worked hard on something and achieved a certain goal, you should celebrate! For example, go out for dinner, go for a pedicure or simply make some time for yourself to relax at home. No matter how small the goal is, if you've set a goal and then achieved it, it's important to reward yourself.
5. Spend time with like-minded friends. If you are trying to change your outlook of depression and discouragement, surround yourself with others who radiate positivity and encouragement. Spend time with friends who support you and don't question your intention to change your outlook or achieve your goals. In particular, avoid the people who belittle your goals and try to undermine you.
6. Discuss your situation with a therapist. Despite all efforts, enlisting the help of a mental health professional is sometimes necessary to overcome feelings of discouragement and sadness. Therapists are trained to help you identify your stressors and can be invaluable in overcoming discouragement.
   • If you feel overwhelmed and discouraged and feel that you cannot improve the situation on your own, a licensed therapist will be able to encourage you and help you achieve a more positive outlook.

Tips

• It is not uncommon for a person to spiral into a downward spiral and become depressed when he or she repeatedly experiences a depressed and discouraged feeling. If the tips in this article don't seem to help you, don't hesitate to seek the help of a mental health professional. This person will be able to help you with therapies and medications, if appropriate to the situation you are in.