Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 4: Understanding attraction better
• Part 2 of 4: Getting started
• Part 3 of 4: Building a bond
• Part 4 of 4: Strengthening your bond
• Tips
• Warnings

Most of us really want a companion who loves us and who we can love. If you really love and care about a woman, and you want to make sure the feelings are mutual, start by seeing if she's interested in you. If you show her that you are worthy of her love, ignite the fire of attraction, support her, and communicate well with her, she may fall (and stay) in love with you. As with many things in life, there's no guarantee in love, unfortunately, but these tips can give you an idea of ​​where to start to win her heart.

To step

Part 1 of 4: Understanding attraction better

1. Learn about chemistry. Do not worry; you do not have to take an exam. But attraction turns all of them about chemistry, and especially about a group of chemicals called "monoamines". These substances send messages between your brain and your body and they are responsible for the tingling sensations you feel in your skin when you are in love, or for the memory loss you can have when the woman of your dreams suddenly appears in front of you.
   • Dopamine (where the word "dope" comes from) is a neurotransmitter that makes you feel good, and it is responsible for reward and motivation, among other things. When you're with the person you're attracted to, your brain releases dopamine, making you enjoy doing things together and wanting more of it.
   • Norepinephrine, also known as norepinephrine (but it is not the same as adrenaline) is responsible for sending messages to your central nervous system. It helps you decide what to focus on at any given time. If you lose track of time and spend 5 hours in a cafe with someone you like, norepinephrine has decided that the woman you love is more important than any other information around you.
   • Serotonin regulates a variety of functions, including mood, sleep, body temperature and sexual desire. If your skin starts to tingle when you're with that special woman, it's because the serotonin has lowered your body temperature, allowing your skin to conduct electricity a little better. Pretty magical stuff!
   • Just like other animals, humans also secrete pheromones, although researchers do not yet know whether it works in exactly the same way. You cannot consciously smell pheromones, but your body can detect other people's pheromones and determine whether you find them attractive or not.
2. Remember, it's not all about you. Since it's largely about how the chemicals work in the body, don't take it personally if the woman of your dreams doesn't like you. It probably has nothing to do with you as a person. Research shows that your brain is in less than one second determine who is attractive and who is not, and that you have little control over it.
   • Research has also shown that taking hormonal contraception can change a woman's "type" at certain times of the month. Biochemistry is a weird science.
3. Learn the language of love. No, by this we do not mean the sweet words you whisper across the table when you are with her. The point is to learn to recognize the signals the body sends out when you feel attracted to someone. There are a number of messages that your body can radiate when you are interested in someone:
   • I am available
   • I am approachable and open
   • I am interested
   • I am fertile
4. Watch her posture. Imagine meeting the woman you are interested in at a cafe. You don't know if she likes you too. Watch how she likes her body to find clues.
   • An "open" body position means that she has relaxed arms and legs, which she cannot cross, and that she occasionally looks up. A "closed" body position means crossed arms or legs, tense and focused on something else, such as her phone.
   • The direction her feet are pointing can also tell you something. If she pointed them at you, she probably wants to contact you.
   • If she's holding something between you and her, like a purse or backpack, it could be a sign of distance. If she catches your gaze or smile and then removes the bag, it could mean she wants to say, "I'm available."
5. Make eye contact. The eyes are the mirrors of the soul. You can often see if someone is interested in you or not by looking in the eye. Eye contact can convey all kinds of messages, even things you may not be aware of.
   • Make eye contact with her and hold it for 4 to 5 seconds. Smile at her. If she looks back and smiles too, it might be going in the right direction.
   • Making eye contact while talking to someone shows that you are engaged. If she watches you while you talk 70% of the time and 50% of the time she is speaking, it means she is interested in the conversation. (You can show that you are interested by keeping the same proportions).
   • When we are aroused (by stress, sexual desire, or whatever) our pupils are dilated. If her pupils look dilated, she might enjoy seeing you.
6. Smile your teeth at her. If she returns your smile, it could be a sign that she enjoys connecting with you. But there are also people who smile when they feel nervous or uncomfortable. Notice what muscles she moves when she smiles.
   • At a sincere or duchennesmiles are used in addition to the muscles around the mouth, also those around the eyes. A fake smile uses only the muscles of the mouth (although some people are very good at pretending). If she's not smiling with her eyes, she may be uncomfortable or just trying to be nice to you.
7. Take biology into account. People experience certain physiological responses when they are attracted to someone. While these things aren't universal, you can get a better sense of whether she just wants to be polite, or if she's really just as interested in you as you are in her.
   • To blush. When we get aroused, blood rushes to our cheeks (this is why some women put on blush). People may also blush when they are nervous or embarrassed, so don't use this as your sole clue.
   • Fuller red lips. The blood doesn't just flow to your cheeks. It also goes to the lips, which become redder and fuller with more blood (so this is why women put on lipstick). Licking the lips is also a sign that the other person is attracted to you.
8. Come a little closer. Don't force yourself into her personal space, but if she's going to get coffee creamer, for example, you can stand next to her to get napkins. That gives you the chance to flutter around some of your pheromones (you know, those chemicals that signal the other person's brain, "Hey! I'm a hot thing!").
   • If you're already talking to the woman of your dreams, lean a little closer or tilt your head. Not only does this show that you are interested, but it also makes you send the chemical love messengers her way.
9. Try an opening line. Phrases like this are also referred to as "decorating tricks" or "icebreakers". But you don't have to be smooth or slimy to use an opening line effectively. Researchers say there are three types of opening lines, and they vary in effectiveness:
   • Straight away: These are honest, straightforward opening lines. For example, "Hi, you're nice. Would you like something to drink?" or "I'm a little shy, but I'd love to get to know you better". In general, men prefer to be approached in this way by potential partners.
   • Innocent: These sentences start a conversation, but are not very focused. For example: "What kind of coffee do you like best?" or "There is a seat available at my table, will you join us?". In general, women like these types of opening lines the most.
   • Cute / naughty: This involves humor, but it can also be a bit slick or even cheeky. These are the typical "pick up tricks" like "Did it hurt when you fell from the sky?" or "Do you know that you would suit me very well?". In general, both men and women find this the least pleasant way to be addressed by a potential partner.
   • It also plays a role what kind of relationship you envision. Research shows that people seeking long-term relationships prefer to start with an honest and constructive opening line, while those seeking short-term affairs are more likely to say something manipulative or dishonest. If you want true love, always go for honest and uplifting.

Part 2 of 4: Getting started

1. Give her reasons for noticing you. Do something that makes her see you. However, don't pretend to be different than you are. Being yourself (the best version of yourself) is the best way to make sure she's really interested in you, and not someone trying to stand out.
   • Take care of yourself. Eat healthy, exercise, and dress in clothes that say something about you. You don't have to be a fashion model or a super athlete, but if you take care of yourself, keep yourself clean and look neat, you show your physical health, which is something most people find attractive.
   • Research shows that women value social qualities such as compassion and kindness in a man just as much as physical attractiveness. Do something that shows you care about other people. Volunteer at the food bank, donate blood, help a friend in a difficult situation, organize a charity auction. Show her that you are more than just a pretty face. She will be impressed when you do things for others and she will become curious about what else you have in store.
   • Show her your funny side. Research indicates that both men and women find humor to be one of the most attractive qualities in a potential partner. Make jokes, make others laugh - but don't belittle anyone or use false or bitter humor, as the mood can change very quickly. Being a bit playful can also work out well.
   • Do something you are good at, preferably where she is present. What are you good at? This could be anything from tennis to math or from joking to debating. Whatever it is, show what you are best at.
   • Give signals with your body language. Women can interpret body language better than men, which can be helpful if you know how to use it. Making your body taller, keeping your shoulders straight when standing, and bumping into your friends playfully can signal to her that you want her attention.
   • Make sure you go out. Remember, the cheeky has half the world. If you stay in your room all the time, you probably aren't using your time optimally. And if you don't take a chance every once in a while, you may never see results.
2. Radiate confidence. Both men and women are attracted to confident people. However, arrogance is a turnoff, so make sure to keep the balance.
   • Real confidence comes from within. It's about knowing who you are, accepting yourself and knowing that you are a nice person. You don't need approval from others to feel good about yourself. If you have self-confidence, you can inspire others to have it too.
   • Basing your self-esteem on external sources such as compliments or achievements can make you arrogant. You may feel like you have to put others down to make yourself feel better, or that everything is always a competition between you and the rest of the world.
   • You can of course accept compliments and appreciation, especially if you can recognize that others have contributed to your success as well. For example, if you are very good at a certain sport, you must also have a very good team behind you. If you win a match, accept the credit for your good performance, but remember that your teammates deserve credit too. This type of behavior shows that you are confident, but not arrogant.
3. Make a plan. No, it doesn't have to be written down, and it doesn't have to be dot-by-point on a whiteboard. But if you have a strategy what to do, you are more likely to win her heart. If you work amateurish you have less chance.
   • If you're in love with one girl, it's okay to throw yourself all the way to win her heart. When we are touched by love, we seem to be crushed by a pile of stones and we often feel helpless. That is completely normal.
   • But if you love in general want to find, try to get in touch with multiple women. You increase your chances of finding someone who really clicks with and the rejection is less bad if you have even more options. There are several advantages to this strategy:
     • You have a better idea of ​​what you want. We often only know what we want when we see it. Get out there and you'll be more likely to meet a woman who naturally clicks with them, rather than trying to force something on someone you thought you knew.
     • Connecting with multiple women is not the same as one decorator to be. If you're looking for true love, date, but make sure you only have one romantic relationship with one woman at a time. Don't get into a relationship to use or manipulate someone.
4. Make an effort to please her get to know. Find out who she really is, what she stands for and where she comes from. She will appreciate your interest in her. Ask open questions, listen actively and be involved in her answers, and don't judge too quickly.
   • People like to talk about themselves. That's the way it is. Don't forget to participate in the conversation and give some information about yourself, but make sure that she also has the opportunity to talk about things that she likes and you will see that the conversation goes very smoothly.
   • One way to do this is to ask good questions. For example, ask about her passions ("What do you love to do?"), Her inspirations ("What drives you?"), And her goals ("What do you want to achieve?"). You can also ask questions about how she sees the future. By only asking how things are going at the moment, a conversation often remains a bit superficial.
   • Social psychologist Arthur Aron has put together 36 creative, open-ended questions to ask if you want to get to know someone better.
   • Now is not the time to start complaining about your ex-girlfriend or your nasty boss. This kind of negativity can make a woman feel uncomfortable. Saying bad things about others will make her wonder if you're going to talk about her that way. Stick to positive topics.
5. Be patient. Things like this take time. Don't expect to be able to win her heart in a few days. You should take this easy. Have realistic expectations so that you aren't disappointed if she doesn't fall for you right away.
   • If she gives you her number, that's perfect, but don't beg for it. Call her when you get her number, but not too often. It can also be good to give her the chance to call you!
   • Don't tell your whole life story at once. If you really like her, it can be tempting to sell yourself by saying why you are the perfect man for her. Take it easy. If you leave a little mystery, she can ask questions about you, and you will come across less desperate - or worse - like you have no boundaries.

Part 3 of 4: Building a bond

1. Compliment her. For the best effect, give her substantive, personal compliments. And be reasonable. You should compliment her just enough so that she knows you want to be more than just a friend, but not so much that she thinks you are desperate or fishing for compliments herself. Research indicates that women are interested in men who show their interest, but are not overwhelming.
   • First of all, compliment her on skills and abilities. She was born with her looks, but she had to work hard for her knowledge and talents to work. Compliment her when you see her beautiful personality shine.
   • If you want to compliment her appearance, try to keep it personal rather than general. Instead of saying "What beautiful eyes you have", rather say "Your eyes have such a special blue color. Do your parents also have blue eyes?" If you show that you are paying attention, that will work too. For example: "Have you been to the hairdresser? Short hair looks good on you!".
   • Consider complimenting her on something that makes her unique and interesting. Most women have heard often enough that they have a beautiful smile.Find something that really has to do with her as a person. For instance:
     • “It's so easy to talk to you. I would like to talk to you all day ”.
     • "I like how you think".
     • "It is very brave that you dared to express your opinion in this way".
2. Start with to flirt. Find a way to start flirting with her gently. It can be difficult at first, especially if you really like her, but it gets easier when you develop some routines and get to know her a little better.
   • Smile and maintain eye contact. A woman can tell a lot about how interested you are in her by looking at your eyes. And smiling is just as important. Smile to show that you are happy, and look her in the eye to show that you are confident.
   • Imitate her body language. You don't have to be an exact mirror. But if she's relaxed and opening up, so will you. If she makes a lot of hand gestures while talking, try moving your hands a bit as well.
   • Make jokes that only you understand and try to tease her in a playful way. Get-together is a fun way to flirt and bond at the same time. They are conspiratorial, which means that you understand something that others do not understand. You can come up with a get-together about almost everything you experience together.
     • If you tease her a bit, make sure you certainly know she understands you teasing. Wink to clarify your sarcasm, or say it's a joke. Rather, tease her about something she's good at so she doesn't have to guess whether you mean it or not.
3. Touch her now and then. In general, friends of different sexes don't touch each other that much. They sometimes give each other a hug, but usually they don't hold hands or brush against each other's faces. By touching her hand every now and then, or running lightly along her arm when you say something, or putting a lock of hair behind her ear, you're basically saying, "Hey, I really like you."
   • Of course you only do this if you are sure that she likes to be with you. Don't grab a girl you see for the first time right away, and certainly don't touch personal places without knowing you've had a clear invitation to do so.
   • If she doesn't seem to appreciate the touch, don't do it again. Respect her limits, even if you don't fully understand them.
4. Ask her out. When you're ready for the next step, ask her on a date. A date is the perfect opportunity to get to know each other even better, and to maybe get a kiss.
   • If you ask, do it casually, but be clear. Otherwise, you might get stuck in the "friend zone," and it's hard to move on from there to a real romance. The best way to avoid this is to express your interest. You don't have to overwhelm her by declaring your love right away (rather not), but you can say very casually, "I really enjoy being with you. Shall we go on a 'real' date? ! ". This lets her know that you want more than just being friends, without it immediately sounding like a marriage proposal.
   • Do something exciting. When you do something exciting on the date - like going to a haunted house, on a roller coaster, or to a sports game - it releases a powerful hormone (oxytocin) that creates a sense of togetherness and connection.
   • When the time is right, kiss her. If you notice she's hesitating, save the kiss for the second or third date. Keep the kiss short and sweet, and whatever you do, don't put your tongue down her throat right away.
5. Listen actively. Good communication skills can help you win over the woman of your dreams. If you listen actively, you show that you are really interested in her and that what she thinks and feels is important to you. That is a very attractive feature. Try some of these techniques:
   • Ask for clarification. Don't assume that you immediately understand what she's saying. Instead, ask for clarification if needed: "I don't know if I understood you correctly. Did you mean that _______?" Then give her the chance to make it clearer.
   • Encourage her. Ask short questions such as "And what happened then?" Or "How did you react to that?" You can also nod your head or say "uh-huh" or "keep going."
   • Summarize important things. If you've had a conversation in which you exchanged a lot of information, summarize it. That shows that you have been paying attention and it gives her the opportunity to clarify things further. For example, "Okay, so tomorrow is going to be a terrible day for you, and you don't feel like getting overworked, so you'd like me to pick you up so we can watch a nice stupid movie together. Is that right?"
6. Use solid communication techniques. Listening is only half of communication, but you also need to know how to speak. Learn to ask questions, avoid blaming the other person, and communicate openly and directly. That makes all the difference and can make her fall madly in love with you because you have such good communication skills.
   • Ask questions. This is especially helpful if you don't quite understand the situation yet. Maybe she says she wants advice, but she actually wants a listening ear. Ask her, "Do you want me to help you find a solution, or do you just want to vent? I'm both fine with it."
   • Use "I" messages instead of "you" messages. A "you" message can sound like you are blaming the other, which can shut them off or become defensive. For example, saying, “You always make us late and I don't like that,” you make your feelings clear, but it can hurt her and make her stop talking to you. Rather try an 'me' message: "I know you need more time to get ready, but I always get stressed when I'm late. How can I help you get to the restaurant on time? ? "
   • Speak honestly and directly. Don't beat around the bush and don't be passive-aggressive. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and always be kind and respectful.
7. Be mysterious, but available. Women like men who have a little mystery around them. It's not hard to develop that - just don't share every detail, don't brag about the things you do, make other people like you and want to be there for you - but it's hard to do it right. At the same time you have to be available for her. There is nothing worse than putting so much energy into it and then noticing that it cannot reach you.
   • You can think of it as remaining independent. In a healthy relationship, both partners can continue to live their own lives and maintain their own interests in addition to the time they spend together. If you don't think about or engage with her every moment of the day, you show that you are confident and independent, which are two very attractive traits.
   • You don't have to play games. If you want to call her, just call. If she calls when you are busy, you will have to call her back later. There does not have to be a specific time between two text messages, or a specific number of days between two calls. Just live your life and make her a fun part of it.

Part 4 of 4: Strengthening your bond

1. Gain her trust. You don't necessarily have to become her best friend, but you need to show her that she can trust you. Be there when she needs you. If she tells you a secret, don't tell it. If you say you will do something, do it. Trust is essential if you want to build an intimate, long-term relationship, and it's easy to break that trust.
   • Don't just do it for sex. That makes you an untrustworthy guest from her mailing list. Don't force her to do something she doesn't want to do - that will just repel her.
   • If you have to cancel once, give an honest explanation. She will be less likely to feel that you will let her down if you explain what happened and say that you are really sorry that it cannot continue. Also, don't get into the habit of canceling things.
2. Learn the language of love. People don't all express their love in the same way. Some people like to receive presents. Others are very happy when you do the dishes for them. Psychologist Gary Chapman thinks that people often have a "love language" of their own that they use to show others that they love them. Teaching her love language allows you to show your love to her in a way she understands.
   • The five love languages ​​are "Words of Affirmation", "Acts of Service", "Gifts", "Time for Each Other" and "Physical Touch".
     • "Words of affirmation" include compliments, encouragement, or expressing your feelings.
     • "Acts of service" are things like doing chores around the house for the other to show that you care about one another.
     • "Gifts" is clear: presents, cards, or some other tangible expression of affection.
     • "Time for each other" means uninterrupted time for your partner without being distracted by anything.
     • "Physical touch" is any expression of physical affection, including hugging, kissing, or sex.
   • There is a quiz you can take on the Chapman website. You can also ask your friend's friends to monitor her reactions so you can find out what her primary love language is. (You can also ask her to take the quiz, but you may still find it difficult to bring up the word "love".)
   • Watch how she treats you. People usually use the same love language to let others know that they love them. So if her primary love language is "Gifts," she will occasionally surprise you with little things, like a present or a card. Pay attention to what she is emphasizing and try to give back to her in the same way.
3. Win her family and friends over if you can. Her family probably means a lot to her, and usually family has a lot of influence on how someone thinks and acts. Try to win them over and you will get closer to her. Moreover, it shows that you are serious.
   • Dress nicely and show good manners, and respect her friends and family.
   • Be yourself when you are with them. That can be difficult, especially with all the pressure you feel when you meet her parents, but it's important to be honest, genuine, and yourself. She will notice right away if you act differently when you are with her loved ones than when you are alone with her, and the family will soon notice if your behavior is not genuine.
   • Be easy going, interested and friendly. If her friends tease you a bit, take it like a man and have a laugh. When the opportunity comes, ask her friends about their lives and be genuinely interested. Do nice things for her friends, for example arrange a date with a friend of yours, or give compliments to boost their self-confidence.
4. Correct mistakes. You will make mistakes during dates or in relationships. How you deal with those mistakes says a lot about who you are, and it gives her a chance to really love you.
   • Don't be afraid to apologize or admit mistakes. If you make a mistake, admit it without blaming anyone else. For example, say, "I'm sorry I hurt you. I know you're very sad because I forgot our date. I really care about you, but sometimes I have a memory like a sieve. Next time I'll put it in my calendar on my phone, so that I will never forget a date with you ”.
5. Keep the fire going. The first few weeks or months are great. You learn all kinds of new things about each other and the chemicals in your body are raging at full speed because of the attraction you have on each other. But as the relationship becomes more stable, that initial fire may go out a bit (although it can flare up again from time to time). Make a conscious effort to keep building your friendship and the relationship.
   • Make time for each other. You may be busy. You may be having a hard time. But still make time for each other, even if you are tired or sad. Don't get bogged down in bickering or irritation.
   • Take up a hobby or activity together. Working together on a goal can strengthen the bond.
   • Turn off devices. Do things together without a phone, TV or computer. You can very easily be together in the same room without really feeling anything together is doing.
6. Be the person you want to be. Ultimately, you need to show her who you are deep down to give her the chance to truly love you. If you pretend to be different from you, she might only like a caricature of you. Don't be afraid to let the walls fall, be vulnerable and show her who you really are. Chances are that it will make her love you.

Tips

• Never talk negatively about her friends, even if she might. Only listen when she needs it.
• A surprise does not always have to cost a lot.
• Don't mock anything she believes in, even if you don't share her values. Respect her as an individual.
• Make time to see her often. Even if she lives far away, use the modern technologies. Be willing to put in extra work.

Warnings

• Don't argue about trivial things.